by Alice Ward
“Barely.”
Little nails clacked against the linoleum and Starlet appeared from around the corner.
“Starlet!” I fell to my knees. The pug ran into my open arms, and I lifted her up and nuzzled my face into her fur. “I thought I would never see you again.” My voice cracked, taking me dangerously close to a sob.
“What?” London questioned.
I pushed back the tears and stood up, Starlet still enclosed in my arms. “A lot happened. I need some time away from my house. Do you want to go do something?”
I clipped on Starlet’s leash, and we went to the Chicago Lakefront trail. As we walked around the coast of Lake Michigan, I filled London in on everything that had happened from the time I got off the jet in Kabul until I got back on it and flew home.
She listened quietly, absorbing it all.
When I finally finished the story, I turned to her. “Well?”
“I think,” she said with her eyes huge. “I think you must be bullshitting.”
“Excuse me? Look at me.”
She did.
“Since when do I spin yarns? Why the hell would I lie about getting kidnapped at gun point?”
“Touché. And I’m not going to say I told you so.”
“Huh?”
“I told you not to go.”
“I found Seth, didn’t I?”
“It sounds like he was about to come home on his own.”
I looked away. “Yeah, that’s true.”
“So what now?”
“What do you mean?”
“You and Seth. You’re together officially, right? So, is he the one?”
I laughed, but the chuckle soon died. “I’ve never thought of it that way.”
“What does he think?”
I shook my head and wound Starlet’s leash a little tighter around my hand. “It’s not the right time to talk about that. His dad is at my house now, discussing… I imagine they’re discussing everything that’s happened between them. At least I hope that’s what’s going on.”
“It’s crazy,” she muttered.
“Yeah, tell me about it.”
“What do you want?”
I blinked at her in confusion. “You’re still talking about Seth?”
She shrugged a shoulder. “Yeah, I mean, I guess I just can’t stop thinking about stuff like… you know, long-term stuff. Maybe it’s because Heather’s having a baby and all, and you’ve got a boyfriend, which I did not see coming.”
I laughed. “Neither did I.”
“And I don’t have any of that.”
“Hey.” I stopped walking to look at her straight on. “You’ll get those things if it’s what you want.”
London stopped walking as well and nodded, but there was something sad about it, like maybe she doubted my words.
“Do you want kids?” she asked.
“Wow… I don’t know... I don’t think so. But maybe… should Seth and I talk about that?”
“Usually people talk about those kinds of things when they’re dating. You know, where they’re going to live and how they’re going to live, not just when it comes to kids.”
“Do you think it’s too early for me and Seth to do that?”
Her mouth twisted. “It’s up to you.” She grinned. “Maybe we should just forget about it.”
“No, you’ve given me something to think about.” I looked down, watching the pavement as I passed over it in my running shoes.
We walked nearly four miles of the trail, looping back when it started getting dark. I dropped London off at her place and took off back to my house. I hadn’t heard from Seth and wondered just how things had gone with his dad.
Starlet rode in her usual spot, standing up on her hind legs and pressing her nose against the window. I scratched her ear at every stoplight, not able to stop touching or grinning at her. Being away from home, coming so close to not even coming home, made me appreciate even the smallest things, like walking with my friend and taking a car ride with my dog.
I hoped I never stopped being grateful for it all.
The front porch light was on, and no cars were in the drive. I parked in my usual spot and went into the house.
“Seth?” I called, bending down to unhook Starlet’s leash. She ran for the kitchen, probably going to check her food bowl for treats. My footsteps echoed through the hall as I followed the little dog. The kitchen was dark, beyond it the patio floodlights illuminating the yard. The pool was empty, the patio chairs the same.
“Seth?” I called, a little louder this time. I headed for the stairs, taking them two at a time. “Are you here?”
I pushed my bedroom door open. No Seth. The guest bedrooms, bathrooms, and office were empty as well. I jogged back downstairs to retrieve my phone from my purse. If he was going to take off, wouldn’t he call me first?
My heart rate picking up, I pulled the phone out. No missed calls. No voicemails. No text messages. I pulled up Seth’s text message thread, just to check in case a text had somehow evaded me.
But there was nothing.
A sick feeling filled my stomach.
What was the last thing he had said to me before I went to London’s? I couldn’t remember, but things had seemed fine. I’d been under the impression that Seth would be there when I got back, hoped that he’d be feeling good and invigorated by his conversation with his dad.
Now suddenly I was having a big wave of deja vu. It was like Afghanistan all over again.
No. It’s not Afghanistan. Calm down, Quinn.
I hit Seth’s name and called his phone, standing breathlessly in the hall as it rang. Each ring made me more and more nervous. When the voicemail picked up, I disconnected.
I needed to relax. Maybe he went home for a little while to shower and change. Yes, that was probably it. He’d gone home for a bit to shower and just hadn’t thought to call me. He would be back any minute.
CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
I went into the kitchen and went about making dinner for the two of us. Starlet followed me around, keeping an eye out for bits of food. In between chopping veggies and putting water on the stove for pasta, I kept one ear craned toward the front of the house, listening for the familiar sound of the Jeep’s engine.
By the time the water was boiling, Seth still wasn’t there. I checked my quiet phone and then called him again. This time each ring sounded like nails on a chalk board, created specifically to drive me insane.
“Where are you?” I asked out loud, taking a seat at one of the kitchen stools.
Something was off. The feeling was all too familiar. I’d been here before. I’d prayed I’d never return, but here I was.
Something had happened while I was gone. Seth’s conversation with Colin must have had an adverse effect. Had they talked about more than just Emmy? Or had Colin’s apology been nothing but a ruse? Did he have a darker reason for wanting to talk to Seth? One that had to do with getting back at his son?
Panic gripped my chest. I shouldn’t have trusted Colin, but I had. I’d opened the door and let him right in. I stood, turned off the stove, and ran out of the kitchen. I needed to find Seth. I had to get to his apartment. And if he wasn’t there this time, I would take real action. I would file a missing person’s report.
I snatched my keys off the hook by the front door, but my hands shook so badly I dropped them. Bending down to pick them up, my ears caught a sound. A car coming up my drive.
Whipping the door open, I burst out onto the porch.
It was Seth’s Jeep. I hadn’t recognized its distinct purr.
He pulled up to what had become his usual parking spot, the space right next to my car, and hopped out.
“Hey,” he said, walking toward me. Suddenly his eyes went wide. “What’s wrong?”
I burst into tears. They were suddenly there, blurring my vision and covering my cheeks.
“Quinn!” He jumped onto the stoop and put his hand on my arm. “What happened? Are you all right?”
“Oh. I see.” Seth wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in tight. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. I went out for a little bit.”
I sniffed and blinked back tears. I didn’t like crying, especially in front of other people. Unfortunately, I’d done a lot of it in the last month.
“Come on.” He grasped my hand. “Let’s go inside.”
I let him lead me in and close the door.
“I was making dinner,” I explained. “Did you eat?”
“No, I didn’t.” He squeezed my hand. “Thank you.”
The second Starlet saw Seth, she perked up and eagerly searched for a chew toy. Finding her squeaky frog under the kitchen table, she snatched it up and brought it to Seth.
“Hey girl,” he told her. “I missed you too.”
He took the toy from her mouth and tossed it into the hall for her. She ran happily after it.
Seth, still squatting near the floor, looked up at me. “I’m sorry,” he said seriously. “I’m sorry to scare you. I was doing something important, and I forgot my phone. I think it’s here. Probably upstairs in the bedroom.”
“Oh.”
“It’s on silent.”
I turned the stove back on, then poured the pasta in the still boiling water, now feeling incredibly silly. “That makes sense. I called and didn’t hear it...” I stirred the pasta around, watching as the tan strands disappeared into the frothy water. “What happened with you and your dad? Is everything all right?”
“It’s… great. He, uh, he said some things I never thought I would hear. He said he’s sorry if he blamed me for Emmy’s death. He didn’t really think I could have done anything else. He just...”
“Was looking for somewhere to place his pain?” I suggested, moving to the cutting board to wipe it clean from my previous chopping.
“Yeah, something like that.”
“Well, that’s so good...” I spun around to face him and jumped, startled. Seth stood only a few inches away from me.
“Hey,” he said, his breath drifting down onto me.
“Hi,” I replied softly.
He lifted his hand and ran the back of it along the edge of my jaw. “There are things I want to say to you… but they’re hard to put into words.”
I swallowed and teased, “Does any of it have to do with loving me?”
Seth chuckled. “It’s more than that. You saved me, Quinn. If you weren’t in my life, I would have gone through with that assassination, and I don’t know if I would have lived. In fact, I’m sure I would have been caught. Thinking about it now...” He shook his head. “Some people would call it a suicide mission.”
I could hardly breathe. “Did you know that when you went?” I whispered.
“I was trying to be optimistic. I told myself things would work out and I would come home to you, but hell, I just wasn’t thinking straight.”
“But then you were,” I pointed out. “You were the one who saved yourself, Seth.”
“Yeah, but you gave me the power.”
I smiled. “Cool.”
“Yeah, it is cool.” His head cocked. “What did you and London do?”
“We went for a walk.”
“That’s all?”
“And… talked.”
Seth tilted his head closer, and he peered into my eyes, looking interested.
“We talked about life changing,” I explained. “About Heather having a baby and that kind of stuff.”
“Ah.”
“Do you want kids?” I tried to ask the question casually.
“Wow.” Seth looked out the window behind me. “I don’t know.”
A relieved sigh left me. “Thank God. I don’t know either.”
“Why are you asking? Is it because of Heather?”
“Kind of. London brought it up, really. We were talking about long-term plans and making them with partners...” I bit my lip, afraid that I’d said too much.
Seth didn’t look put off though. He gazed at me, his blue eyes increasing in intensity. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” I said breathlessly.
“I haven’t had a lot of time to think about the future lately.”
“I know. I know you haven’t.”
“But soon I will.” His free hand pressed against my waist as a smile bloomed on my lips. “I went out tonight to get you something.”
I stared at him in surprise. “What?”
His hand dove into his pocket. Out came a jewelry box.
All the air in the room was sucked right out, like we were in a spaceship and someone suddenly opened an emergency hatch you were never, never, supposed to touch. I opened my mouth and tried to take in some oxygen, but my lungs no longer worked.
The box was so small. It had to be a ring.
And if it was a ring… did that mean it was an engagement ring?
What would I say? I wanted to marry Seth, didn’t I? There certainly wasn’t anyone else I wanted to be with.
But even though we were in love, and I knew he was the guy for me, I still didn’t know if I wanted to get married. Or if it was the right time. We hadn’t talked about the things you’re supposed to talk about. Just like London had said. Neither one of us knew if we wanted kids. Maybe we needed to figure that out first.
And where would we live? What would being together mean for his career? For mine?
Seth opened the box, and I shrank back, both hoping it would be what I thought and praying it wasn’t.
There, on a soft bed of blue velvet, sat two rings.
Wait. That couldn’t be right. Two rings?
They were earrings. Little pearl drop earrings with a cluster of amethysts and diamonds at their tops.
A rush of air left my body. “Oh my God,” I gasped in relief.
Seth grinned wider, obviously thinking my response was due to pleasure over the sparkling gift.
I played it off, taking the box and gazing adoringly down at the jewelry. “These are gorgeous.” Taking them out, I put them in my earlobes, my hands shaking. They were heavy, but not too much. Their weight was just enough to be a reminder of their presence.
“Wow,” I said, fingering the smooth pearls. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“This is why you went out? To get me jewelry? You made it sound like you had to go somewhere important.”
“I did. Isn’t getting my girl a gift important?”
“Was it really that important that you had to go right away and leave your phone?” I asked with a grin.
Seth gave me a cocky shrug. “Nobody’s perfect.” He looked at the stove. “I think your pasta’s done.”
“Oh! That’s right!”
I moved to turn off the stove, but Seth’s thumb was swirling in a circle on my waist, distracting me. “Hey,” I said. “Not fair. I have dinner to get ready. Aren’t you ready for a good ol’ American meal?”
“I’m not doing anything.”
Pushing back a laugh and trying to act serious, I walked my fingers up the middle of his chest. “I know you don’t want overcooked pasta.”
“Mmm.” He moved closer to me, pushing our hips together. “I bet it’s too late for the pasta now anyway.” He nipped my neck.
A little sigh left my lips, and I let my eyes drift closed. Seth bit again, this time a little harder. I jerked, my fingers loosening their grip and sending the wooden spoon I held to the floor.
“Oops,” Seth breathed into my ear.
“You’re seriously not going to...”
He reached around me and turned the stove off. “Not going to what? Seduce you in the kitchen? Set you on top of the counter and fuck you? Eat you out on the table?”
“That doesn’t sound sanitary.”
He wrapped his hand around the base of my head. “No, but screw it.”
His mouth catapulted into mine. My lips opened automatically, al
lowing his tongue the space it needed. I grabbed at his shirt, yanking the fabric, feeling animal enough to tear it in half. Wrapping his arms around my waist, Seth picked me up and deposited me on the kitchen counter.
I yelped. “You can’t be serious.”
He didn’t answer. His mouth was too busy kissing up my leg. I tingled from his touch, the leggings doing nothing in the way of buffering.
“Do you really need these?” he asked.
I looked coyly down at him. “No, I guess not.”
“Good.” He peeled the leggings down my thighs and calves, leaving them in a pile on the floor.
“What about these?” he asked, running a finger across the top of my underwear.
“Not really.”
“Even better.” With a pull and a loud rip, Seth tore the panties in half.
I gasped. “Oh my God.”
“Was that not all right? I’ll get you some more.”
I choked back a laugh. “No, that was hot as hell.”
A growl came from deep in his chest. Rising to his feet, he kissed me hard and deep, his hands working to roll my tank top up. He broke the kiss for a second, pushed the top over my head, then pushed himself between my legs, teasing me with the heat of his body.
“This too,” he whispered into my mouth, unhooking my bra and letting it fall.
I grabbed at the bottom of his shirt, determined that he not be the only one getting a proper show. He helped me get it off then undid his pants. They dropped to the floor along with his boxers. I grabbed Seth’s ass, enjoying its smoothness beneath my palms as he caressed my breasts and hips.
He pushed closer toward me. The placement of the counter provided the perfect height for him to spear me, and he glided smoothly into me, my slick channel welcoming him right away. I groaned into his mouth, my nails clinging onto his shoulders and back like my life depended on it, on this. Seth looped his arms underneath my knees and held them up high. Pleasure flooded me, hitting me again and again, each new rise of the current stronger than the last. I fell back onto my palms. My head hit a pot hanging from the rack, but he didn’t stop.
Seth groaned and gasped, the noises he made entirely new and exciting. I ran my hand over his chest, his shoulder, then down his arm. With each thrust into me, his muscles flexed. Sweat rubbed off him and onto my breast. Seth’s eyes settled on my face, then ran the length of my torso, and back up again. Knowing he liked it, I put my hand on one of my breasts and twisted it slightly between my fingers. He bit down on his bottom lip and groaned.