“The house you bought,” he said, trailing off into silence as if he wasn’t sure what to say next. She paused in her thoughts, his comment a reminder there was a lot he didn’t know about her as well. She would have to tell him her story at some point, too, but it could wait. There was enough heartache on the table right now.
“The guy who used to live there, he—” Justin paused again, closing his eyes. The pained expression on his handsome face set off an alarm in her head as the silence started to weigh down on her, and an awful premonition caused a tight knot to form in her stomach. She held her breath, every inch of her on high alert, waiting for the bottom to fall out from under her.
“He was the bastard who killed my parents.” He spit the words out, as if it took every effort of control he had not to bash his fists on the coffee table when he said them.
Gabriella felt paralyzed. One word filled her head. Over and over it screamed a denial. No! No, no, no.
“I know it’s just a house, but I can’t stop thinking about him when I’m there. It’s like he’s still there, everywhere I turn, his spirit still walking around the rooms. And after he stole the life my parents should have had because of his…” He broke off again, his anger raining down on her disbelief.
“I’m sorry.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her against his side. “I didn’t want to upset you with this. That’s why I didn’t tell you sooner. I didn’t know how without…I don’t know. I just can’t go into that house and not think about him, not get upset that he survived, and they didn’t.” He blew out a harsh breath. “He never even apologized. If he saw me or Blake in town, he acted like he didn’t even know us. We were barely out of high school…and he killed our parents…and the damn bastard didn’t even have the decency to apologize!”
Her heart was breaking with the harsh realities facing them. Her father had killed his parents. She brought a hand to her mouth. He didn’t know. He thought she’d bought the house, and now she either had to tell him the truth or be trapped in a horrible lie.
And how would he react when he found out who she was? Would he hate her, too, the way he hated her father? Gabriella’s heart cried anew. The love she had begun to feel for her father over the last couple of months as she read his letters was still a fragile thing. She had never believed he had cared for her, but his letters challenged every belief she’d had growing up. Now, the delicate bond she’d begun to form with the man in the letters was being threatened.
She knew from what she’d read that her father had battled depression, but she also had discovered he was a gentle man, with deep feeling and unwavering love for her that had never faltered. The man who had written her all those letters could not have killed two people without suffering terrible anguish over their loss. He couldn’t!
After several minutes with neither of them speaking, Justin stood and pulled her up with him. “I hope you understand now what happened the other day,” he said, having seemed to have regained control. “I really wasn’t even aware I was giving off negative vibes. When you asked if I wanted to come to dinner, all I could think about was how the hell could I sit in that house with you and not think about Landfred the whole time. I’d barely been able to stand being in there the brief amount of time we were when you made dinner for me the first time.”
He kissed the top of her head. “If I’d realized what was going through your head, I would have driven you back to the cottage and shown you exactly how much I wanted you in my life.” Justin angled his head, regarding her warmly. “Forgiven?”
Gabriella forced a smile she hoped would hide the turmoil she felt over his revelations. “There’s nothing to forgive,” she told him, wondering if he would feel the same way when she worked up the courage to tell him how she had come to be living in Glebe Point.
She wasn’t capable of dealing with everything she had just learned without giving it more thought and considering what it could mean for both of them. Justin’s feelings were painfully obvious, and she understood his reasons. But she had found something precious in her father’s letters—something she’d never believed was important until she’d discovered it. To deny her father’s love mattered to her now would feel like a betrayal.
“I could use some fresh air,” Justin said. “Why don’t we go for a walk? We can stop at Mosey’s on the way back. I’ll buy you dinner, unless you want me to take you someplace nicer.”
“A walk sounds nice.” It would do them both good to get out from under the wave of emotion that had washed over them. “And I like Mosey’s.”
“If you eat everything on your plate,” he said, the teasing light filtering back into his eyes, “we can walk up to Curly Custard afterward for ice cream.”
Gabriella let him lead her down the stairs from the apartment and out onto the street. She took a deep breath of the moist summer air and forced herself to clear her mind. After bearing his soul, she wanted Justin to enjoy the rest of his evening, and she was determined not to let either of their ghosts get in the way. They would have to deal with them soon enough.
LATE SUNDAY afternoon Justin and Gabriella drove to Mary O’Meara’s for dinner. They had spent Saturday night together in Justin’s apartment, breaking in the new bed. After getting some breakfast at Mosey’s in the morning, Justin had taken her out on his brother’s boat. They had anchored in a quiet creek, gone swimming, grilled hamburgers for lunch, and Gabriella had relished the lazy day and their easy laughter. The only damper to mar her pleasure had been when she’d allowed herself to think of the secret that lay between them, but she had forced herself to push it aside until the time came when she would have to tell him.
Justin convinced her to spend the night again on Sunday, but she hadn’t really put up any resistance. Chloe would be coming home in less than a week, and although Gabriella missed her daughter horribly and was anxious for her return, it would put an end to carefree nights spent in Justin’s arms.
When she returned home Monday morning, she wasn’t able to ignore what she had refused to think about over the weekend. Now it stared her in the face. The house she’d inherited from her father no longer represented the home where she and Chloe would build a new, happier life. It also represented everything Justin was unable to accept about his parents’ tragic death.
Now, as Gabriella sat in the swing on her back porch, restless and unsettled, she knew she had to tell him the truth. She just wasn’t sure how. She didn’t want to believe he would hold it against her…but he might. In his mind, her father had been nothing more than a drunk who hadn’t deserved to live when his parents had died. There had been a raw helplessness in Justin’s voice when he’d talked about how his parents had been found. She sensed he had felt plagued by the possibility they may have lived if only someone had found them sooner. There was nothing he could have done to prevent what happened, but she knew how good people could be at finding ways to torture themselves with the possibilities.
She pushed her foot against the porch, setting the swing in motion. What if she never told him?
Her mind drew a blank. She wasn’t even able to imagine how that would play out. It simply wasn’t an option. She was in love with him, and although neither had actually said the words, his actions over the weekend led her to believe he might feel the same way. If there was any hope that love could grow and survive, there could be no secrets between them. She just wanted to feel a little more certain before she told him.
Telling Justin that the man he blamed for his parents’ death was her father was only part of the problem. Justin said her dad had been a drunk. Gabriella knew from his letters that her father had been depressed, and although she had wondered whether it had been caused by loneliness or had been the result of a chemical imbalance or some other clinical kind of depression, she hadn’t known he had been an alcoholic as well.
She had wondered what the demons he referred to in some of his letters had been. Perhaps they were the alcohol, or perhaps his loneliness and depression had b
een the demons that drove him to seek solace from a bottle. She didn’t know, and she doubted she ever would now. Even so, the depth of her father’s loneliness and pain had touched her heart as deeply as the crushing loss Justin had experienced.
Gabriella felt torn. She couldn’t stop loving her father now, not after reading the letters, not after knowing how much he had suffered when her mother left and took her away from him. How could she disregard everything she had learned over the last couple of months and pretend she didn’t care? She didn’t think she could, and she didn’t want to. She understood Justin’s feelings, but would he be able to understand hers? Would he be able to accept how important the love she’d always craved but never discovered until recently was to her? Would he try to convince her that she was wrong about her dad?
If he couldn’t forgive her father, then where would that leave them? She wouldn’t be able to share a part of her life that she now treasured. Would she have to tiptoe around any mention of her parent for fear of upsetting Justin? It would be a constant source of tension and if they couldn’t resolve it.
Gab pushed her fingers through her short hair, massaging her temples as she did. Maybe the accident hadn’t happened the way Justin thought. Maybe her dad hadn’t been drinking, and it had just been a horrible, unpreventable accident where no one was really at fault. Maybe…maybe there had been some other reason that…
That what? That would miraculously exonerate her dad, and the issues threatening to come between her and Justin would disintegrate like so much smoke? The chance of that happening was almost zero, especially since the accident happened over ten years ago, and Justin said her father had been drunk.
She closed her eyes. What if he wasn’t drunk? Gab blew out a breath and shook her head. But what if he wasn’t? She swallowed. Straws. She was grabbing at nonexistent straws. There was no way to know now. There would have been an investigation into the accident and a determination made that her father had been at fault.
She looked out over the water and watched a small sailboat tack back and forth on the bay.
Of course there would have been an investigation. She gave the swing another push. The little sailboat tacked again, and the occupant hiked out over the side as the wind filled the sail.
An investigation could have taken several weeks before they determined what really happened, if they were able to determine it at all. Would the police have informed Justin and Blake of the findings? Justin said they were barely out of high school when the accident happened. In the days following, with their parents’ funerals and dealing with everything else, they may not have wanted to talk about the accident. It was possible the police may not have even followed up with them when the final report was filed.
Gabriella caught the corner of her lower lip between her teeth, chewing absently. Her mind traveled down the course she’d set it on. Would the police have kept a report from that long ago? If not, there was probably still someone around who had worked on the case and knew what really happened. There had to be a way to find out more, to discover, somehow, if her father had truly been to blame.
Was it possible he’d mentioned anything about the accident in his letters? She hadn’t come across anything so far, and there were only a dozen or so she hadn’t read yet.
Gab sighed. The chance she’d find anything there seemed slim. She would try to get to the remaining letters today or tomorrow but held little hope they’d shed any light on what really happened that horrible night. The letters weren’t like a journal. Sadly, she’d discovered almost nothing about her father’s daily life reflected in his writings. They were simply what they were, letters to her, his musings of what she might be like, if she remembered him at all, if he would ever see her again. Aside from picking up on his deep sense of loneliness, she’d—
Her cell rang, interrupting the restless path of her thoughts. It was one of her clients asking if she could get this week’s copy to them Wednesday rather than Thursday because one of their in-house editors had quit, and they were going to be short staffed until they found a replacement.
After agreeing to their request, Gabriella went into the house to get her computer. It wouldn’t take more than a few hours to finish the copy. She had already done the bulk of it and should be able to knock the rest out quickly. It would force her to focus on something other than the unexpected situation now threatening to upend her relationship with the man she had fallen in love with.
JUSTIN STOPPED by Blake’s Monday evening to return the boat key he had put into his pocket the afternoon before and forgotten about. Delaney and Ben were on the front porch reading a book when he got there.
“This is a pleasant surprise,” Delaney said as he jogged up the steps of the porch.
“Yeah, I forgot to give the boat key back to Blake yesterday so I thought I’d just stop by and drop it off now.”
“Have you had dinner?”
“Not yet.”
“Were you hoping for an invitation?”
“Thought crossed my mind.” Justin gave her a sheepish grin.
“Will you answer all my questions about you and Gabriella if I invite you to stay?”
“No,” he said succinctly, knowing his sister-in-law’s propensity for sticking her adorable little nose into his love life.
Delaney frowned at him. “Okay, fine, I’ll just get it all from her when she comes over for lunch tomorrow.”
Justin raised a brow. “Gabriella’s coming here for lunch?”
Delaney nodded. “I called her this afternoon to see if she wanted to get together. We usually meet in town, but every time I go out by myself anymore Blake drives me crazy with his checking in every half hour. I swear he’s worse than an old lady the way he worries.”
Justin chuckled at her description of his twin. He probably would be no different, though, if it were his wife.
“Cut him some slack,” Justin said. “He just doesn’t want his daughter to be born on the side of the road.”
“I guess, but I’m not due for a month.”
“Yeah, but we both know Blake’s not going to take any chances if Kate decides to make an early appearance—with you or her.”
Delaney showed off her dimples. “I know.” She ruffled Ben’s hair. “Your dad’s out in the backyard, Ben. Would you go tell him Uncle Justin’s here?”
“Okay,” Ben said in his good-natured way and scooted off the porch swing he’d been sitting on with Delaney.
Justin gave Ben a high five as the boy ran past him, skipped down the steps, and then took off around the side of the house.
“I could use some of that energy.” Delaney pushed herself up off the swing and rubbed her lower back.
“You feeling okay?” Justin had noticed the slight wince around her mouth when she got up.
She waved off his concern with one hand. “Just a little stiff from sitting.” She looked over at him and smiled. “Don’t you go getting all worried about me, too. I’m fine.”
Ben came bounding back around the corner with Hunter, and a moment later Blake made an appearance as well.
“Hey, bro.” Blake mounted the steps and slapped him on the back.
Justin pulled the boat key out of his pocket and handed it over. “I forgot I had this in my pocket yesterday.”
“Yeah?” Blake arched a brow. “Guess that filly in the bikini had you a little distracted, huh?”
Justin gave him a smirk but passed on taking the bait.
“You staying for dinner?” Blake asked. “There’s something I’d like to run by you.”
Justin threw Delaney an amused glance then looked back to his brother. “You’re not going to try to pry any details about my love life out of me, are you?”
Blake chuckled. “Humor her, Jus. She’s pregnant.”
“Really, I hadn’t noticed,” Justin said, staring at Delaney’s very large belly with mock surprise. “How did that happen?”
“I’ll explain it all later,” Blake said with a teasing grin for his wif
e.
Delaney shook her head and walked into the house, leaving them both chuckling in her wake.
“God, I love that woman,” Blake said, the truth of it in every fiber of his being.
Justin looked down and smiled to himself. Talk about stating the obvious. “So what did you want to talk to me about?”
Blake put a hand on Justin’s shoulder. “I’m planning on taking off the week before Delaney’s due, but I want to have a contingency plan in case she goes into labor early.”
“My office is only ten minutes away.” Justin knew exactly where his brother was going.
“Right, and if I’m on a job that’s thirty miles away, it could take me forty minutes to get here.”
Only if someone put a barricade in the road, Justin thought, in which case Blake would get out of his truck and run the rest of the way.
Justin took a good look at his brother and realized just how worried he was about the possibility Delaney might go into labor when she was home alone.
“I’ve got your back, Blake,” he said in all seriousness, meeting his twin’s eyes. “No matter what, you know that.”
Blake nodded. “Yeah, I know, and I can’t tell you how glad I am you’re back. Especially now.”
Ben opened the front door and looked out. “I’m s’posed to tell you dinner’s ready.”
“Thanks, son,” Blake said. “We’ll be right there.”
When Ben disappeared back into the house, Blake looked at Justin again.
“I’ll stop by or call you with all the logistics stuff later this week.” Blake opened the front door and held it for Justin to go inside. “I already did a dry run from here to the hospital, and you can make it there in about twenty minutes if you have to.”
“Doing what,” Justin asked, “ninety?”
“And some change,” Blake acknowledged, and Justin didn’t doubt it one bit.
Letters to Gabriella Page 16