Same through college. He was a one-night, keep-it-casual guy, and until Sarah, that had been all he wanted it to be. Hell, even with Sarah’s smile and laugh ending his nights for those last two months of school, he hadn’t wanted more. Which was why he’d made damn sure he held back through every lingering glance, every weighted pause, every moment of that thing pulsing in the air between them. Until she’d done the unthinkable.
It was his final night on Safewalk, and Christ, he’d wanted it to last. Wanted to walk the long way back to Sarah’s dorm, maybe just sit and talk a while, before he had to say good-bye. She had another year, and he was starting work in two days and the police academy in the fall. Tomorrow, everything ended, but he’d thought he still had the night. Only, the minute they’d stepped out of the library doors, the sky that had been threatening rain all damned day finally opened up and poured. Sarah had taken one stunned look at him, laughed, and dashed into the night.
They’d made it halfway to her dorm when she’d suddenly stopped. She was breathless. Fucking beautiful with her hair streaming back from her face, her lashes clumped together in wet points, tipped with raindrops.
“What are you doing?” he asked, laughing and trying to hold his hands above her face as a shield.
Shaking her head, she looked up at him, and suddenly everything stopped. Not the rain or the cars or the waves crashing against the breakwater beyond the quad, but everything that mattered. Like his heart and his thoughts and time.
“Sarah?”
She caught him by the shirt, there in the middle of campus. The only warning of what was coming, her breathy “I can’t help it” the second before she’d pushed to her toes. He’d met her halfway. Something in his wiring must have taken over before he could think of all the reasons why he needed to stop, and on instinct he’d sought out her mouth. That first kiss was like lightning over the lake—a white-hot crack that split him down the center, searing at first contact and then rolling through him, deeper and deeper, shaking up everything in its path.
She wasn’t supposed to kiss him. And this was why.
A car alarm blared in the distance, breaking the spell, but only long enough for him to register where they were and why no matter how badly he wanted to drown in her kiss right there in the rain, he couldn’t risk what would happen if he didn’t get them somewhere private and fast.
They ran back to her dorm, her hand in his as he pulled her along until they reached her room and she dragged him inside. Dripping wet, he wrapped his arms around her, falling back into the kiss he’d been telling himself for months he couldn’t have. Growling softly into her ear, he asked, “What are you doing, Sarah?”
“Giving in” was her breathless answer before pulling at his shoulders, his arms, his hair like she couldn’t get him close enough. Which worked for him, because damn, the feel of her body beneath his hands was heaven.
He’d fought this so long, but right then he realized it had been a losing battle from the start. He just hadn’t wanted to admit how far gone he was. How this girl had changed the way he thought about what came next and what they could be together. She’d been saving herself for love, and despite both of them knowing she deserved better, she was giving hers to him.
He kissed her again, pulling back to ask, “Sarah, baby, are you sure?”
She had to be, because in that moment, Max realized he was hers. He had been from the night they met. He’d tried to deny it. Fight it. Make damn sure she didn’t get any ideas about it. But here he was, fucking floored by the revelation that he loved this girl.
Sarah nodded even as she pulled his mouth back to hers, opening to his kiss and moaning around the thrust of his tongue.
Jesus, he had to slow down, because she hadn’t done this before and he wasn’t sure they were going to do it tonight. But when they did, whenever she was ready, he was going to make it the best fucking first time on the books. Not because of his ego, but because he needed her to have it. If she was going to give him something as precious as that too-sweet heart of hers, then he was going to prove he was worthy.
“I’m sure.” And Christ, the way she was looking at him. “Max, I know I said I was waiting for love, but I don’t want to anymore. I just want this. I want you. I swear it doesn’t have to be anything but tonight.”
Her words filtered through the haze of his brain, and Max froze, one hand on the perfect curve of her ass, the other cradling the back of her head. He pulled back, searching her eyes. Because that wasn’t what she was supposed to say.
“You don’t want more than tonight?” he asked, hoping like hell his voice hadn’t cracked.
“I know a relationship between us would be… No, I don’t. For once, I just want to cut loose and have some fun. Stop feeling like I’m taking everything too seriously and missing out on half of what life has to offer. For once, maybe I don’t want to do the right thing.”
The right thing. Shit.
There it was. If he’d been on the fence, those three words were all it took to knock him off, landing him securely in this area he knew too well. The land of rules.
And the most important one: if you know without question what the right thing is, do it.
“Sarah, sweetheart, we’ve got to stop.”
She hadn’t fallen in love with him. But one day she’d fall in love with someone…and when she did, what she’d held on to would mean something to the both of them. It would be special and lasting and… Fuck, he wanted to put his fist through the guy who finally earned her heart.
She shook her head, a look of panic filling her eyes. Then she was trying to pull him closer, and when he braced his arm against the wall over her head to keep her from doing it, she hooked her fingers into the belt loops of his jeans. Oh man, he liked that a lot.
But it didn’t change what he had to do. “Sarah, I can’t be a part of something you’re going to regret. Not when it’s this big.”
She looked up at him with those soulful eyes he’d been falling for without even realizing it. “I won’t regret it.”
“I think you will. When the right guy shows up, Sarah, you’re going to wish you had this to give to him. You gotta know that I care about you way too much to let you make that mistake.”
He could see the hurt in her eyes, on her face, and in the subtle droop of her shoulders, and he fucking hated that he’d been the one to put it there.
Still, he’d done the right thing. By the time she locked her door behind him, she’d been thanking him for being the one to think straight. Agreeing with him that as much fun as it might be between them, it would be a mistake and one she couldn’t take back. She’d felt okay about the way the night ended.
What he was feeling was new to him, and it fucking hurt.
Fast-forward through the years, and Max was staring into Sarah’s face again, that dull blade sawing into him deeper with every passing breath. Because this thing that was already more than he thought he could handle had just gotten infinitely bigger. She thought she was in love with him. Now—not eight years ago when he’d been ready to go all in. Before he’d met Joan and once again learned what a shit storm he’d stir up by trying to convince a woman on her way out to stay. Before Joan had realized what a mistake she’d made and shown Max his own mistake in return.
He should have known a girl like Sarah wouldn’t be able to keep her emotions out of it. No, scratch that. He had known. He’d banked on it, looking forward to all the soft and sweet she had to offer, because he’d been so damn sure things between them wouldn’t go too far. That this relationship would be safe for both of them. Why wouldn’t it? She hadn’t fallen in love with him back in school. They’d been friends, but in the end, all she’d wanted was a single night.
Turn a single night into a couple of months, and that was how it was supposed to have gone this time too.
But he should have known. He’d seen it before, the way
sex could skew a person’s perspective, heighten emotions, and make someone see things that weren’t really there. Yeah, Sarah thought she was in love with him, but given enough time, she’d realize she wasn’t. That if she’d done what she’d planned to do from the start—date around, get more experience—she’d recognize what she’d known that last night in school. He wasn’t the man she wanted forever.
He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Sarah, let’s back this up some.”
She was pulling on her clothes, not looking at him anymore. “To where? The part where I fall in love with you, or the part where I decide to stay in Chicago?”
To the part where maybe there was a chance she could still do something about it. “Let’s start with Chicago. Does Sean know what you’re thinking yet? I mean, I know he’s always talking about wanting to steal you away from Manhattan, but are you sure he’s not just being charming?”
What if she tried to get out of the New York position and Sean didn’t have anything for her in Chicago that could compete? What if she was throwing away an opportunity she’d been working forever for, because of him? Jesus, let it not be too late.
Sarah’s eyes closed, her hands dropping to her sides. And when she answered, her words were heavy with disappointment. “Some people mean the things they say, Max.”
Ouch. But considering the number of times he’d told her he didn’t want to let her go, and that now they were having this conversation, yeah, he had it coming. The thing was, he’d meant what he’d said. It was going to be hard to say good-bye to her, and he hadn’t known how he was going to do it—but tough or not, he was going to do it. “You talked to him?”
“Yes. He came to me with an offer over the weekend. I’ll be based out of Chicago and work with the sales and marketing teams for the Midwest. I still have my choice of position, the one in New York or here in Chicago. No negative ramifications either way.” She met his eyes. “Just so we’re clear, the Chicago post pays better, means more responsibility, and offers the kind of challenge I thrive on. This job will make my career.”
Damn. He shouldn’t have been surprised with the way Sean had been ogling her work ethic all summer. “Sarah, that’s terrific. I didn’t mean to imply— Look, I didn’t know this option was even on the table. And I didn’t want you making any decisions based on me.” He rubbed his head, looking at the floor. “And you didn’t. Which is good.”
She nodded, staring down at her thumb. “Which leaves you and me, together in Chicago. Indefinitely instead of for the next few days.” She sat at the edge of his bed and peered up at him with sad eyes. “So now do you see why, as good as this feels with us, it’s time for it to be over?”
“Yeah, baby, I see.” It was going to have to end eventually. As much as he didn’t want to let her go, it would be better this way.
Max drove her home, neither of them talking much. What else was there to say? They would still be friends, but she needed some time first. Some space. A few weeks. He wished things were different, but it was what it was, so he parked on the street and walked her up to her door, where he kissed her good-bye for now. Just a single lingering press of lips that hurt his chest to no end. There were tears in her eyes when she gave his hand a gentle squeeze and then slipped into her apartment alone.
* * *
Shoving through the Belfast door, Max was confronted with the glaringly warm and inviting atmosphere, the upbeat music, and too many happy people for the way he was feeling. He should have stayed home, but after he’d dropped Sarah back at her apartment, he’d gotten restless. Itchy and uncomfortable.
A short cab ride over—because he’d fully intended to knock enough back that driving would be a no-go—and he was there. But Belfast wasn’t going to work either.
Too many friendly faces. Girls he’d had some fun with a time or two perking up at the sight of him walking through the door.
Not gonna happen.
He turned around and walked back out, making it about three steps into the night before Brody was there, pulling him around by the arm. “Hey, man, what gives?”
Max looked his buddy over. The burly guy had that wild mane pulled back with an elastic, so there was no missing the concern written all over his face.
“You’re alone?” Brody asked, checking his phone like maybe there’d be an answer in the form of a group alert from Molly. “Thought you were hanging out with Sarah tonight.”
Max scrubbed his hands through his hair, pacing a few steps forward and back. “She’s staying in Chicago. And wipe that smile from your face, Brod, because that’s the death knell to me and her you’re hearing.”
Brody had the good sense to school his features before shoving those meaty paws of his deep in his pockets. “Why? I mean, you two seemed good together. I have a hard time seeing her making any ultimatums or springing a bunch of demands about the relationship on you.”
“No, it wasn’t anything like that. It was me. I let things go too far, said some things I shouldn’t have.” Max groaned, that raw spot in his chest aching. “Why the hell couldn’t I leave well enough alone?”
Brody sighed. “Come on, man. Chin up. Maybe it doesn’t have to be the end.”
That was where he was wrong. “When a woman tells you she loves you, and you tell her she shouldn’t, it kind of has to be the end.”
“Shit.”
“Yep.”
Brody stepped aside for a couple of girls headed into Belfast, and Max leaned back against the building. It was still relatively early, but he was beat. “I’m into her. You know that. And if it was just a matter of her scoring an extra month in Chicago before she had to blow out of here, I’d be fucking ecstatic. Because yeah, I want more of her, a little more time. Not forever.”
“You mean you don’t want to give up your freedom,” Brody added pointedly.
Max shrugged a shoulder. It wasn’t as simple as that. With Sarah, the explanation didn’t feel right. Like it was more about her freedom. And he knew better than to try to lock her into something she’d only offered because she wasn’t experienced enough to realize she was reading more into her feelings than was actually there.
Brody gave Max a hearty clap on the back. Fuck, the guy was strong. “How about we go inside and I get you drunk.”
It was what he’d come for, but still Max found himself looking down the street toward home. He could call Sarah and try to talk to her. Tell her he was sorry, and—
What? No. He’d already said enough.
Brody still had a solid grip on Max’s shoulder. After a beat, Max nodded. “Yeah, sounds like a plan.”
For a second, Max thought he saw disappointment register in the big guy’s eyes, but maybe it was just a combination of the passing headlights and Max’s own BS. Because then Brody looked fine, his grizzly-bear smile firmly in place as he gave Max a shove toward the bar.
“Let’s go get you liquored up.”
* * *
“We’ve got to keep meeting like this.”
Sarah’s head snapped up to find Sean leaning against her office door. He was wearing a crisp gray suit with a light-blue button-down and a darker-blue tie draped around his neck. With the exception of his jacket hanging from one finger, the man looked both immaculate and as disheveled as she’d ever seen him in the office.
“Don’t you ever sleep?” she demanded, frustrated by the trespass into a sanctuary she’d been certain would be safe for at least a few more hours—and by Max’s guy, no less. Though that thinking was going to have to stop. Now that Max wasn’t her guy, Sean was going to have to be relegated back to her boss. And her friend too. No more sticking a Max qualifier on him every time their paths crossed.
Sean coughed out a laugh, making her do a double take. “This from the chick elbow deep in work I’d be willing to bet my left nut wasn’t even part of her assigned load at 6:07 a.m. on a Sund
ay?”
Yes, this guy had her number. “Sometimes work is the most comfortable place to be.”
He cut her a look and muttered. “Damn, you really would have been perfect.”
He thought she wasn’t taking the job. “You haven’t talked to Max?” she asked, again conflicted about this one smudged line between her personal and professional lives.
Frowning, Sean shook his head. “Fond as I am of the guy, I try to get through breakfast before calling him. What are you working on?”
“Sales and marketing reports from last year.”
Sean’s brow quirked. “Chicago’s reports?”
“And Minneapolis. Madison, Cincinnati. A few others.”
He dropped his jacket over a chair and stood at the side of her desk, looking down at her with a grin as he worked his tie into a practiced Windsor knot. “So you want to write up the HR announcement, or should I?”
Cocky. But he was right. “Why don’t you do it. I’m kind of busy with my new job.”
Tie neatly in place, Sean pumped his fist, indulging in a guttural “Fuck, yeah!” that Sarah couldn’t help but grin over. Nice to be wanted.
* * *
Max had showered twice, flushed his system with a gallon of water, and forced a cheeseburger and fries down since crawling out of bed at noon. Now at four, he was finally ready to face the world. Or at least the guys and Molly. And Emily, who he still couldn’t manage to lump in with the rest of the meatheads that made up his non-cop family.
He hadn’t bothered buzzing up to let the Fosters know he was there, since the security door was propped open with a construction cone. Riding the elevator to Jase’s floor, he stared at the wall ahead and tried to figure out what he was going to say about Sarah.
Just thinking about saying It’s over out loud made his gut hurt in a way that had nothing to do with the booze from the night before.
The Wedding Date Bargain Page 21