She heard the words as if from a long way off, numb with shock. 'Obligations' could only mean one thing. Raul and Dulcie were or had been engaged. All the colour drained from Penny's face; she felt as if someone had twisted a knife in her stomach and gutted her. Involuntarily she picked James up in her arms, cuddling him to her icy body.
'James is Raul's son—' she stared bleakly at Dulcie '—whatever you may think.' But she could not deny the rest of Dulcie's malicious statement. She suddenly realised that she had been floating along in a sensual daze, accepting Raul's proposal, pretending to herself that it was a rational decision, when all the time she had been avoiding reality.
'I've got to hand it to you, Penny; you're cleverer than I thought. At least the child has Raul's colouring—and the poor man is desperate for an heir.'
Penny bent her head to disguise the anguish in her eyes. But she could make no response, because she knew that Dulcie was right.
'Of course, you know that if I could have children Raul and I would have been married when you two split up, but under the circumstances there did not seem to be any need to rush.'
Penny slowly raised her head. James squirmed to be put down and gently she set him on his feet, keeping a tight grip on his little hand, more for her own support than his. She stood up. Her legs trembled but she stared Dulcie straight in the face and gave a bitter, forced smile. ‘Then I have to thank you for my good luck and your bad fortune,' she managed to say sarcastically, amazed that her voice did not crack in the process.
Dulcie's eyes leapt with anger and something almost maniacal. 'Don't fool yourself that he loves you. Raul will always come back to me. He always has.' And with that vicious parting shot Dulcie turned on her heel and strode across the courtyard to her car, leaving Penny frozen to the spot, still grasping James but feeling unutterably alone. She wanted to cry, but instead James broke the silence.
'Not nice lady, Mamma.'
Out of the mouths of babes! she thought sadly. And, gritting her teeth, she lifted James up in her arms and walked into the house, appalled at her own gullibility. Raul had never cared for her. He never would. She had been kidding herself to think for a second that she could win his love. He had given it years ago to the woman who had just left.
Entering the kitchen, she acted on autopilot, preparing James's supper while he sat happily on the floor playing with a soup ladle and a couple of stainless-steel pans. For once she was grateful for the racket he made. It stopped her from having to think.
Ava arrived back from the town with Carlos, all smiles; she had found the perfect hat for the wedding.
Penny admired the hat and said all the right things, but her heart wasn't in it. It was slowly breaking into a million pieces.
She had no idea afterwards how she got through the next few hours. She bathed and bedded James down for the night. She changed into jeans and black sweater, then sat in the kitchen and pushed the dinner Ava had prepared around on her plate. And, when the telephone rang, and Ava answered it and Penny beard the name 'Raul', she got to her feet and dashed out.
'Wait,' Ava called after her. 'It is for you. Senor Raul.'
She could not trust herself to speak to him. 'Tell him it's bad luck.' She furiously threw his own words back at a shocked Ava as she ran upstairs and into the master bedroom.
She stopped, her glance skimming over the wide bed, and she shuddered, closing her eyes against the tears that threatened to overwhelm her fragile self-control. Maturity had taught her nothing. She clenched her small hands into fists, her nails digging into her palms till she broke the skin, but she did not feel the physical pain. The mental anguish was tearing her apart.
She stifled a moan from the depths of her being. Raul, with an ease that betrayed her naivety, had got her back into his bed and under his spell with hardly a whimper from her. Slowly she opened her eyes, her face set and pale. Deliberately she turned, closed the door and locked it. Never again, she vowed silently. Never again...
She was leaving with James; even if she had to drug the security guards and walk to the nearest town she didn't care. Not any more. She knew that she had only herself to blame in a way. She had forgotten Dulcie— or perhaps her mind had simply blocked out the other woman, in much the same way that she had refused to think about the abduction of James once she'd had him back. Perhaps it was the mind's way of protecting one from a pain too fierce to bear, she thought. But, God help her, she was hurting now!
Gritting her teeth, she found a suitcase in the back of the wardrobe and haphazardly threw a few clothes in it. Her head spun; she needed her passport. It was probably in Raul's study. A bitter smile distorted her full lips at the memory of another one of his lies.
Manhandling the open suitcase onto the wide bed, she sat down beside it to catch her breath. All she needed now was to pack James enough clothes to last for a few days and they were ready. But was she?
Where was she going? she asked herself desperately. Back to Cornwall? Even if they made it, Raul would not be far behind them, and did she really want to go back to Cornwall? She stared with sightless eyes at the wall opposite, a pale, tragic facsimile of the girl she had once been.
Slowly, as she relived the past in her mind, she recognised a painful truth. She was not the strong, decisive person she had thought herself to be. Instead she had spent most of her life simply reacting to the circumstances around her.
As a teenager she'd assumed that she would study medicine in memory of her father, not because she'd had any great desire to be a doctor. When she'd failed to get the marks required, and after the death of her mother, she had not picked a career in pharmacy. It had picked her, simply because the company she'd worked for Saturdays as a schoolgirl had offered to sponsor her through pharmaceutical college.
Her affair with Raul had followed the same pattern. He'd made love to her and asked her to move in with him. Deep down she had wanted marriage, but she'd allowed herself to settle for less. She had been doing it all her life. Easygoing Penny. She never made a fuss.
If she was honest the idea for Sense and Sensibility had been more Amy's than hers. The way they had found the shop—driving through Cornwall to a wedding and passing through Royal Harton. If they had checked thoroughly before buying the place they would easily have discovered that the plans had been passed for a new health centre with a pharmacy some twenty miles away. But they hadn't.
Once, just once, she had made a firm stand and asked Raul to marry her, and look where that got her. Total rejection...
She'd even got pregnant by accident—not that she regretted it for a second. Penny drew a shaky breath. And her biggest mistake of all—she had carelessly handed over her child to the first nurse who'd asked, and in consequence Raul had stormed back into her life.
She cringed with shame and humiliation. God, but she was some kind of prize idiot! Did she have 'Pushover' carved on her brow? she wondered bitterly.
Then the final fiasco—she'd let both James and herself be abducted by Raul. She'd fallen into his arms, and his bed, with hardly a murmur, then meekly agreed to marry him because she loved him, even though she knew he did not love her. Once again the line of least resistance...
Penny shivered, a draught of evening air wafting through the open window. She glanced at the swaying curtains and noted that it was dark outside. She had no notion of how long she had sat mulling over the past, but she guessed it was late.
Jumping to her feet, she swore under her breath. But not too late! She straightened her shoulders, a new stiffness in her spine, her decision made.
She switched on the bedside light and crossed to the dressing table. She glanced at her reflection—the wide, haunted eyes and the soft, tremulous mouth—and despised what she saw.
She clenched her teeth, her lips firming in a tight, narrow line. She was taking charge of her own life. She was finished with going with the flow. She was going to start making her own waves, and the first one would wash right over Raul Da Silva an
d get him out of her life for good. She wasn't running away. She was going downstairs to call him and tell him that the wedding was off...
A knock at the door brought her head round. 'Yes,' she said, firmly expecting it to be Ava. She saw the handle turn.
'Open the door, Penny.'
She flinched, surprised at the sound of Raul's voice, but the bitter knowledge of Raul's callous manipulation of her—and, she recognised, the unfortunate Dulcie— was eating into her soul. A steely determination to stand up for herself had her marching across the room and unlocking the door.
Raul brushed past her. His dark eyes flicked around the room and noted the suitcase. Slowly he turned to where Penny stood with her back to the door. 'I thought we decided no honeymoon just yet. Too much upset for James.' His dark eyes were hooded, masking his expression. 'Or have I got it wrong?' he drawled cynically.
It took a great effort to meet and hold his gaze, but she did. 'You've got it wrong,' she said steadily.
His eyes narrowed, and she sensed the fury lying beneath the surface of his control. 'Are you going to make me drag it out of you? Why the suitcase?' he demanded hardly.
Penny swallowed nervously, not feeling quite so brave. 'Because I'm leaving you.'
'I knew it.' His dark eyes flashed murderously. ‘I bloody knew it,' he swore, and lunged forward, grasping her upper arms in a vice-like grip. 'You are not leaving.
You are not going anywhere,' he snarled, hurting her, his cool control cracked wide open. 'I will not allow it.'
He dragged her towards him and she got a whiff of strong alcohol on his breath. She was so surprised that she forgot to be afraid and really looked at him. This was a Raul she had never seen before; his hair was dishevelled and he needed a shave.
'You've been drinking.' Raul never drank—well, only in moderation. Then she noticed that he was wearing the same clothes as he had been in when he'd left hours ago. She knew the hotel he was staying at had a strict dress code and stupidly asked, 'Have you had dinner?'
'You're walking out on me and you ask have I had dinner? Have I been drinking? Are you mad?' Raul exclaimed harshly. 'Yes, I've been damned well drinking; I've been pacing the hotel room, telling myself I was doing the noble thing, that I could trust you. Until I could stand it no longer and rang you.'
Then he pushed her towards the bed; she felt the edge of the mattress at the back of her knees just before he thrust her down, knocking the suitcase to the floor as he did so.
He hovered over her, his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to sit on the bed. She bent her head, unable to face the fury in his eyes. 'I did not want to speak to you,' she said, gulping down her fear.
'I gathered that from Ava. Why else would I break the law and drive after sinking three brandies?' he snarled. 'Only you could make me so careless.'
'You had no need to drive back tonight on my account,' she shot back, and looked defiantly up into his hard face. She glimpsed the brief flare of terrible rage as his eyes burned into hers, threatening her very soul. She licked her tongue over parched lips and forced herself to continue. 'It changes nothing. James and I are leaving in the morning.' And, drawing on every ounce of courage she possessed, she added, 'There will be no wedding.'
For a long moment Raul looked capable of murder, his face rigid with fury. The taut silence was deafening as his fingers dug into her shoulders like the claws of some wild cat. Penny drew in a sharp breath, fighting down pain and panic. Then his eyes hardened until they resembled black jet, his mouth curved in a chilling smile.
'Oh, yes, there will,' he drawled implacably. 'I refuse to be deserted twice in one lifetime.'
He pushed her, and she fell backwards on the bed. Raul followed her down, his lips capturing hers in a cruel, punishing kiss. His mouth forced hers apart, plundering and possessing in savage domination. She struggled, trying to get away, her clenched fists pounding his broad back in bitter rage and frustration at her own inability to escape. But, bent over the edge of the bed, with his powerfully muscled thighs straddling hers, it was no contest.
Altering her tactics, with one almighty effort she punched him in the chest and tore her mouth away from his.
'That is all you think about,' she screamed up into his face. 'Your stupid pride. Well, you have nothing to worry about,' she told him furiously. 'Dulcie will quite happily oblige tomorrow; she told me so herself, and she was wearing your ring to prove it. You don't need me. You never did, you lying, cheating two-timing bastard.'
Her chest heaved; she was panting for breath, but she was glad that she had finally told Raul exactly what she thought of him.
Her blue eyes spitting fire, she watched him, expecting a violent explosion any second. To her amazement it never happened. Bracing himself on his hands either side of her body, he glanced down at her flushed, furious face then closed his eyes. The silence stretched until it was an almost tangible thing. She was damned if she was going to be the first to break it; even so she regarded him with a certain wariness, conscious of the hard weight of his thighs holding her hostage.
Raul opened his eyes, and there was no mistaking the sorrow and regret in their black depths. 'But I do need you, Penny,' he said in a raw voice. 'Dulcie could never in a million years be a substitute for you.'
He might look contrite, but Penny did not believe it for a minute. 'Only because she can't have children,' she snapped back.
Raul's broad forehead creased in a frown, and she glimpsed a curiously speculative gleam in his dark eyes. Then she saw a muscle jerk wildly under the dark skin of his jaw and his face go rigid. 'That bloody woman,' he burst out. 'I might have guessed.' And he cursed long and fluently in Spanish before saying grittily, 'She was here today, wasn't she?'
'Y-e-s,' Penny answered slowly, not sure why he was asking.
'What did she say?' he demanded, and when she did not answer immediately Raul lowered his dark head to within inches of her face. 'Tell me, Penny,' he drawled, 'or I'll have to make you.'
With Raul still straddling her, she was suddenly not so much angry as very aware of the danger of the situation.
'Oh, I was treated to her usual vilification. I was the lowest of the low, and by marrying me you were dishonouring your name, welching on your obligations. I can't say I blame the woman. It must be hard to find your fiancé is marrying someone else. But then you would know all about that,' she drawled sarcastically. 'You and her seem to be about even on that score.'
She saw his dark eyes widen in shock, and then he rolled off her to sit up on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. Penny dragged herself up to a sitting position and, shooting him a sidelong glance, added jeeringly, 'Truth hurt, does it?'
Raul lifted his head, his dark eyes seeking hers. 'You have it all wrong, Penny, and it is all my fault,' he declared harshly, and, reaching across her body, he brushed the hair back from her face with an unsteady hand, the better to see her expression. 'First, I am not engaged to Dulcie.' His hand stopped at the side of her neck, forcing her to face him. 'I have no interest in the woman whatsoever,' he declared adamantly. 'It was all over seventeen years ago. She was a boyish mistake, and I was eternally grateful when she married someone else.'
'Hah!' Penny snorted. 'You've got a funny way of showing "no interest"—giving the woman a ring, posing for a photograph in a glossy magazine. You're too damn right, it's all your fault.'
All her resentment and bitterness spilled out; she knew she was being unfair but once she had started she could not stop. 'I saw the picture of the pair of you while James and I waited for the doctor. If I hadn't got such a shock maybe I would have had the sense not to hand over my child to the bogus nurse.' She was unaware of what she was revealing by her outburst.
'Oh, my God!'
She did not see the horror in his gaze, and even if she had she was too mad to care. 'You and that woman cost me a day of my child's life and you expect me to believe she is nothing to you? Don't make me laugh,' she mocked. 'I seem to remember, the l
ast time I was here, that you were adamant I had to apologise to the woman. And we were supposed to be partners at the time... such loyalty I can do without.' Penny was not listening to his excuses; she had had enough to last a lifetime.
‘I had no idea you felt like that! Believed that!' Raul said fiercely. 'You're wrong, so wrong.' And his free hand caught her shoulders, curving her into his side. She stiffened and tried to pull away, but he was bigger and much stronger and easily crushed her against him. 'Dios, I have a lot to apologise for, Penny,' be groaned. 'But I can't let you go.'
She tipped back her chin and glanced defiantly up at him, about to argue. But she was struck dumb as, for a second, she saw his heart in his eyes, the rigid mask of self-control vanquished by a naked vulnerability she had never seen before.
'Because I love you,' he rasped.
Her blue eyes were like saucers. Her heart jumped violently and her mouth fell open in shock.
‘I know I can't expect you to love me after the way I have behaved, but I still want you to marry me tomorrow as we planned.' He stared fixedly at her. 'But you don't have to. I realise now I can't force you. But please let me explain before you decide. Surely you can give me that much?'
If he really loved her, she would give him anything. Penny trembled at the thought, but still could not quite believe his avowal of love. 'Explain,' she said shakily.
His arm eased a little around her shoulders and his hand at her neck slid around to cup her chin. His brown eyes burned with some fierce emotion. 'It might take some time. I have made so many mistakes I hardly know where to start,' he said hesitantly, and his hesitation gave her hope. It was so unlike the Raul she knew.
'From the moment I met you, Penny, I knew you were going to be very special to me. I loved your happy, carefree smile, your wholehearted enjoyment of life, and I vowed to have you for myself. After the first night we spent together I should have married you. God knows, I loved you.'
The hope burnt higher in Penny's heart. 'You never said,' she had to remind him.
Raul's Revenge Page 15