by Leigh Dreyer
“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I want you to have the best team possible. He was certainly a more talented pilot than I expected when I met him, I just didn’t appreciate the comments about you. You aren’t just a piece of meat. You are brilliant and special and, well, I love you.”
Elizabeth’s body melted as he spoke and soon even a smile hinted at her lips.
“I love you, too.”
He reached out and touched her chin with his thumb. She caught his hand and laced her fingers through his.
“I know you care. Thank you.”
He pressed his lips together in a smile. “I’ll leave you to your book.”
“Thanks.”
Darcy was a decisive man. He knew what he wanted and how to get there. He created checklists to ensure no detail was unattended and that every objective was completed. He rarely diverged from his path once it was set and thrived in a life of structure and reason. Apart from when his father had died and he joined the Air Force in a fury of grief and need for that structure, he was always sure of his course.
As he closed her bedroom door behind him, every cell in his body shouted at him to go back to Elizabeth and convince her that he was not just jealous. He knew if he stayed at the house that is precisely what he would do. After Jane’s advice, though, he reconsidered and needed to restrategize his plan.
He had to leave, catch his breath, but go where? It was nearly nine, and most of the town was closing down for the evening. Darcy grabbed his wallet and keys and drove down the road away from Netherfield.
Edward Gardiner’s house was an unpretentious affair. A one-story stone and brick ranch that sprawled gently on an acre lot, landscaped with trimmed grass and large, mature pecan trees. “Day trading must have its benefits,” Darcy thought as he parked in front of the closed garage. He slammed his car door and knocked on the Gardiner’s much harder than the situation allowed. “I sound like the damn SWAT team,” he reprimanded himself and stretched and balled his fists unsure what to do now that he had knocked. Soon, the door was opened by a tall, middle-aged woman. She had dark, wavy-cropped hair with touches of gray streaked at the temples. She smiled and tilted her head at Darcy.
“Can I help you?”
“Um.” Darcy had definitely not thought this through. He shuffled his feet from side to side and stuttered to find the right words. “Is this Uncle—I mean, is this, uh, Edward Gardiner’s house?”
“Yes. I’m Madeline Gardner. I’m Edward’s wife.” She outstretched a long, feminine hand to grasp his in a firm shake.
“William Darcy. Very nice to meet you, ma’am.”
“Listen to you. ‘Ma’am.’ How sweet. You make me feel just like a girl of twenty. Come on in; make yourself comfortable.” Madeline led him into a cozy living room and gestured at a plush sofa. “Let me grab Ed for you.”
Darcy sat on the edge of the sofa twiddling his thumbs and bouncing a knee as he looked around the room. Pictures of the couple at various times of their lives were displayed throughout. A picture from their wedding, a man in a white tuxedo feeding a slice of cake to a woman in a large, 80s-style, puffy-sleeved wedding dress. Several in front of European and Asian travel sites: the Great Wall, the Eiffel Tower, Nam Dae Mun, the Colosseum. There was one of her riding an elephant and one of him stepping onto the ladder of a jet, smiling in his flight suit. He noticed there were no chubby, smiling faces looking up from bassinettes or surrounded by a mess. No awkward school pictures lined the walls and no pictures of graduations or grandchildren. The Gardiners were obviously childless, and Darcy wondered if they had wanted them.
The sounds of footsteps and voices in the hallway stopped Darcy’s peek into the Gardiners’ world. He stood and looked toward the hall and waited. The Gardiners stepped into the living room and Darcy felt the room brighten around them. What had been a comfortable room before turned into a home, a place Darcy had not had since the day his father had died. Ignoring the lump in his throat, Darcy moved to shake Uncle’s hand.
“Hey, Son. Wasn’t expecting you, was I?” Gardiner smiled pleasantly, motioned to the couch, and then he sat in a recliner.
“Oh no, sir. I just stopped by.”
The two Gardiners looked at Darcy expectantly.
“Sorry. I just stopped by for some advice.”
“Buy Google. It’s only going up from here.”
Darcy laughed. “Thanks, but my portfolio is doing fine. Thank you again for talking to my broker, by the way. I know Alex implemented many of the ideas you suggested.”
“Damn shame you already had someone. I could have used a new client. I’ve heard you’re quite the catch.” Gardiner raised an eyebrow and smiled.
“Yikes. I don’t even want to know where you heard that.” All three of them laughed. “I assure you, Alex has been around since my father took over the company. I couldn’t just switch, but I do hope you got whatever commission you requested when you chatted.”
Madeline interrupted. “Would you like a drink? It’s a little late for coffee, but I think we have some lemonade or milk if you’d rather have that. Water?”
“No, thank you. I’m fine. No, I need some advice about Elizabeth Bennet.”
“Oh, little Lizzy. How is she? I’ve been so worried about her. Her mother was telling me last week when I stopped by for a donation for Rotary that she had moved in with Jane. Poor Fanny is worried sick.”
“Madeline, would you grab me a bottle of water? I don’t think I’ve drank enough today.”
“Sure, honey. You know, with your cholesterol the way it is, you need to be hydrated. I tell him this every day, but does he listen to me? Are you sure I can’t get you anything?”
“No, ma’am. Thank you again.”
After his wife left the room, Gardiner asked, “What about Elizabeth do you want to know? I’ve known that girl since she was in pigtails and there are very few people I love more.”
“I—” Darcy cleared his throat. “I love her too.”
“Is that so?”
Darcy felt Gardiner’s eyes sweeping over him. Probably evaluating how he feels about me as a prospect.
“I guess it is so.” Gardiner sat back. “You’re here when you could be with her, so you must be in a world of trouble. What do you want my help with exactly?”
“Well, I don’t know what to do.”
“About what? What do you need to do for her?”
“Well, technically nothing. She won’t let me do anything for her anyway. The issue is this medical review board. There’s just no feasible way I can see that she will go back into training. I’ve tried to tell her, so she is mentally prepared. I’m not just being a jerk. I’ve been encouraging her to think of some back up plans. I don’t want her to put all her eggs in one basket and then be upset when they’re all cracked.”
“I see. Let me guess. She basically tells you to go screw yourself? Then doesn’t talk to you? Then, she probably tries even harder?”
Darcy nodded, and Gardiner barked out a laugh.
“That’s our Lizzy. She was born a fighter.”
“That’s just it. I love that about her, but what about being realistic?”
“Lizzy was meant for greater things than Longbourn. She always was. You can’t necessarily tell from the other Bennet girls, but it was always Lizzy that was going to get out. Jane is a fantastic girl, too, but not in the same way as Lizzy. Lizzy is just too damn headstrong to stay down even when she’s been beat.”
Darcy sighed and ran his hands through his hair.
Gardiner leaned forward. “Look. You say you love her?”
Darcy nodded, though he felt downcast and defeated as he absorbed all that had been said thus far.
“You have to show her.”
“I do.”
“No, you tell her.”
“I don’t understand the difference.”
“Have you met Lizzy’s family?”
Darcy blanched, and Gardiner laughed.
“I’ll take that as a
yes. You’ve seen them then. Her mom mocks her; her dad ignores her. Jane is great, but too nice for Lizzy to talk to, you know, share her most intimate feelings with. Then the other three girls, well, you’ve met them. Lizzy doesn’t have someone to lean on. She doesn’t have someone to tell her she is great because she exists. She needs someone to love her because she is her. Does that make sense?”
Darcy nodded.
“Look, I can’t tell you how to live your life. Honestly, I didn’t realize you guys were even a thing. A little surprising, since you insulted her the first time you met her, and it doesn’t seem in your personality to skirt around fraternization rules.”
“How do you know about that?”
“Son, it’s a small town. Everyone knows about it. Anyone that tells you any different is lying to you. I hope you realize it too because if your commander catches wind that she’s living in the same house you are, you can kiss any hope of a career for the both of you goodbye. It is taken pretty seriously after the incidents a couple years ago when AETC1 came down and relieved leadership of their duties.”
Darcy had known the situation was precarious but was choosing to ignore it for the time being. He was breaking the rules, but he thought that Elizabeth living in his home could be explained. They were housemates along with her sister. It was a shoddy explanation, and he knew the risks of being court martialed or otherwise disciplined for fraternization between a student and instructor, but being away from her, even just the distance from Netherfield to Longbourn, seemed an insurmountable obstacle to them.
“Anyway, like I was saying, you need to show her that you’ll fight to the death for her. You have to make sure she knows that when she goes into battle, not only will you have her six, but you will be there reloading her weapon and asking for your marching orders. I can tell you’re worried, but here’s the thing: this isn’t about letting her boss you around. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m telling you that Lizzy needs to know that your favorite thing about her is her; that she can count on you and relax around you. You just have to do anything and everything to ensure that keeps happening.”
“So I just need to do nothing?”
“Basically. If she wants to fight to go back to training, help her study, help her with therapy; do whatever she thinks she needs. Don’t let her think that she has to fight the world and you. Help her know that together you can fight the world. Do you understand?”
“I think so. If nothing, you’ve definitely given me some things to think about.”
Madeline walked back in, handing a bottle of water to her husband. “William? Can I tell you one thing?”
“Please.”
“Sometimes when you fail, what you need most is someone to just cry with rather than tell you that you did your best and to move on.”
Darcy took in Madeline’s soft voice and rolled the suggestion around in his head. Someone to cry with was a friendship he had never had. Like Elizabeth, life had thrown him curve balls from a young age, and he had to pick himself up, wipe himself off, and go back to fighting. He wondered how to be a person he had never seen, let alone known.
“That’s great advice,” he said finally. “Thank you both. I apologize for barging in uninvited. After meeting Uncle at Pemberley, I just felt like maybe he would understand.”
“We’re here for you anytime, William.” Madeline’s soothing voice reminded Darcy of his mother. He stood abruptly before he could consider those memories.
“I should get going. I’ve got a cross-country tomorrow.”
“Excellent. Where are you off to?”
“Probably Louisiana, but we’ll see what the weather holds.”
“If you go to Barksdale, you have to get barbecue at Fat Boy’s. You’ll never eat barbecue again without wishing you were there.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks. And thank you, ma’am, for letting me invade.”
“You’re quite welcome any time.”
Darcy made his way to the door, waved, and then returned to the comfort of the cool night air. There was no way he could fix everything tonight, but maybe he could start just by holding Elizabeth for a few minutes while he told her his schedule. Maybe that would stave off the nightmares that held her captive so many nights and start to build the bridge between them.
He drove home to dreams of Elizabeth and was welcomed home by her reality. She greeted him from the couch and he sat next to her. As they watched While You Were Sleeping with Jane and Bingley, she rested her head on his shoulder, her soft curls tickling his neck when she laughed. He was exactly where he needed to be, and his flight schedule could wait until morning.
7
Darcy was cross-country. She was moping, unwilling to admit how much she already missed him. Trapped in her mania of studying and exercising, Elizabeth had not realized how much she had relied on Darcy’s quiet presence until this morning. He was always there, opening the door for her, bringing her a drink, or just sitting near her on the couch.
She was still nursing hurt feelings from their fight a few nights before. Darcy had behaved rationally—never even raised his voice when she had hurled accusations at him. She had been harsh and unfair. But his accusations against Dr. Willoughby were completely unbelievable. Why? Why could she trust him with appointments and medications and nightmares but not with this? And then Darcy had been so sweet when he told her about having to fill all the cross-country slots. He had tried to hold her yet still she had not let him. Now she could admit to herself that she had overreacted. Her poor, emotionally erratic behavior was better suited for the looney bin than in a relationship. What she could not admit, however, was that she was wrong, nor was she ready to apologize. She supposed it did not matter anyway since he would be in Louisiana for a few days.
Elizabeth let out a long sigh and felt the tension leave her shoulders. This morning found her downstairs on the couch, legs carefully propped up on the coffee table in front of her to Caroline’s vehement objections. She had huffed, murmuring under her breath about “mahogany” and “not knowing quality,” leaving Elizabeth to her Kindle. Elizabeth smirked at the idea of Caroline stuck like a tiger in her self-imposed orange exile, her angry stomps echoing from the ceiling above.
Every morning, Elizabeth rested in bed or sat on the couch downstairs, and then she would do stretches and walk up and down the hall. She ached to go further, but Miss Bates had reminded her at every appointment that pushing her recovery would lead to negative consequences so Elizabeth had been commanded to stick to reading most of the day.
She desperately missed her runs down the roads and over hills near Longbourn. She craved trails under her feet. She wanted to feel the air as it burned down her throat and into her lungs as each measured breath matched the rhythm of her pace. Most of all, she missed her treasured green spaces: the trees rattling their renewing leaves in the breeze; the grass, which so much of the time was browned from the sun, as it transformed after a spring rain; the view from Oakham Mount which looked down at the town.
Elizabeth sighed again. The wait for her medical evaluation board seemed eternal and unfortunately for her, eternity was very boring.
“Good morning,” Jane said too cheerily as she came in. Elizabeth frowned, sure that Jane did not realize that she was busy pitying herself, and so Elizabeth could not blame Jane for being happy.
“Morning,” Elizabeth murmured, attempting a smile. Jane handed her a coffee and the smile became real.
“I thought you might need that. When does he get back?”
Am I so transparent? “A few days, but then he’s only back for the night before the next one. Apparently they’re undermanned so he gets to play catch up.”
“Ugh. I’m so glad Charles doesn’t have to do that.”
Elizabeth shrugged and nodded, wishing she could be overworked.
“What’s on your schedule for today?”
“I’ve got my next appointment with flight med and other than that, I’m all yours.”
�
�Well, I would suggest going to Mom’s—”
“No!”
“But obviously you would hate it.”
“Lydia. I can’t handle her in the best of times, and now that she just whines and counts down to college, I just can’t.”
“Mary and Kitty seem to be getting better.”
“Thank god.”
“Anyway, what time is your appointment? I can take you. Normally, I’ve got work, but today is a professional development I’ve already done so Mrs. Clarkson said I could stay home if I wanted. She knows how busy it’s been around here.”
“The appointment is at nine and that would be amazing. I thought I was going to have to ask Caroline, since Darcy was going to take me before this cross-country popped up, but I think I’d rather crash another airplane.”
“I was going to suggest grabbing a drink somewhere or maybe lunch? Normally, I would suggest calling Charlotte, but since she abandoned us for Hunsford, I guess we’re on our own.”
Elizabeth raised her mug. “A toast for my fallen comrades.”
“You’re just jealous you haven’t joined us.”
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “And who exactly would I be dragging along with me? Hmm?”
“Darcy, obviously.”
A fist clenched Elizabeth’s heart. She forced the feeling into the back of her mind.
“Is that so?”
“Lizzy.” Jane’s brow furrowed.
“Jane, I love him, I do. I just…I feel like all he wants is for me to give up on my dreams and run off with him like it’s 1946. World War II is over, and my work as a Rosie Riveter or a Woman Ordinance Worker is done. I’m not going to just sell my life to him”―Jane looked at her out of the corner of her eye―“even if he is cute.”
“Very cute.”
“But obviously, not as cute as Charles.”
“Of course.”
The girls laughed, and Elizabeth felt her spirits lift.
The girls finished their coffee and soon the morning found them sitting in a small room in the on-base Flight Medicine clinic. Elizabeth sat uncomfortably on the paper covered bed while Jane took the only other available chair. Typically, the two sisters enjoyed silent moments together, but Elizabeth was so nervous about her appointment with Dr. Willoughby that she had difficulty staying still. She crinkled the paper in her hands, bobbed her head, sung to herself, and even tapped her fingers on the wall.