“Check your phone. I sent you something.”
We stared at each other through our screens, while waiting for the message to transmit. “Bloody hell. Where did you get this?” he asked.
“Harv sent it to me.”
“Bollocks! That barmy maggot! Is this why you left?”
“Who is she?” I demanded.
“No one. Nadia, I don’t know what else to do to show you I love you.”
“I know you love me.”
“Then why are you giving up on us so easily? I promise you. It’s nothing. I will explain everything to you. But I want to do it in person. I need you to know I would never do anything to hurt you.”
Having to wait for him to explain the image infuriated me. I didn’t need an answer in person. I just needed clarity. My hesitation to answer his question bothered him, so he asked it again, “You know I would never hurt you, right?”
I huffed and scowled at him, “That’s what makes this so hard. I believe you. It’s a lot to take in, but I believe you. What confuses me is the picture, and the things Harv says. In Copenhagen, he made that remark about you, and now he’s saying from what he saw I’m now fair game? All of this code language makes me wonder what is he not saying.”
“He’s being a dick. I’ll take care of him. You, take some time. You did say you were homesick, so do whatever it is you need to do, and I’ll tell you everything when you get back. You still love me?”
“I wouldn’t be hurt if I didn’t love you.”
The pain in my chest didn’t leave after we spoke. It felt like a wrecking ball knocked the wind out of me, and left a huge dent in between my breasts. I was more confused than when I left, and tossed all night with a cloudy mind. I beat the sun and my mother up, and suggested we drive to Goose Creek to pay my Grams a visit.
Mom skimmed through my phone, admiring the photos of my travels while I sped down the highway, arriving at the retirement village in record time. After two and a half hours of listening to the oldies at the crack of dawn, we signed our names in the record book, and I powerwalked to my grandmother’s room. Seeing her never failed to brighten my day, and I was long overdue for one of her hugs.
I peeped my head into her room. She sat in her rocking chair, dressed comfortably in a blush sweat suit with her long, silver silky hair pulled behind her ears, and braided to the side. I was jealous my hair never grew as long as hers, but I did inherit her texture and wave pattern, which made up for what I lacked. “There is my pretty lady?” I said entering her room. She turned to her side and looked at me, fanning her hand and turning up her top lip, “Well, gal why didn’t you tell me you were coming? It’s been a long time.” She kissed my cheeks. “You still got a little sugar in there.”
“You know I love surprising you,” I said kissing her forehead.
I held onto her tightly, smelling her perfume from the 1950’s mixed with mink oil, and dove soap. She patted me on the shoulder, “Yes, you sure do. You look good gal. Skin so plump and smooth.”
“I am the chocolate version of you.”
“Which is even better. Less wrinkles when you get old.”
Mom finally arrived in the room, “Leave some hugs for me.” Grams turned towards her and gave mom her cheek, “Oh, I got both of you today. Is the good-looking boy with you too?”
“Momma behave.”
“You know I will do no such thing.”
I told her I came alone and she asked to see another picture of Mash. I pulled up some of our travel photos, and showed her how to swipe left and right. “This sure is from the future,” she scoffed, then arrived to the one of us in Barcelona. “Nadia, you are every bit of me I tell you what. I would’ve married him too if it was safe back in my day. My baby girl snagged her a husband. Such a handsome boy. Grams can dig it.”
“Momma,” my mother ridiculed.
“What child? You are always cramping my style. You know that’s why I won’t come live with her. I’d never get to see my boyfriends if I moved in her jailhouse.”
“Did you say boyfriends with an s?” I asked.
“You heard me right. I have one on every hall in here.”
“How is that possible?” my mother asked.
“Easy. One is a night hawk, one is in a wheelchair, and the other one can’t half see.”
“I’ve missed you so so much Grams?” I curled over in laughter.
“If they have men my age over there who look like him, I’ll move in with you baby girl. Book my ticket tonight.”
“Momma please. You aren’t moving anywhere.”
“You hear the sheriff talkin’ right?” Grams joked.
“Okay I’m ringing the bell. You two always go at it. How have you been doing?”
“Really good today, but I have my days, arthritis and all.”
“You feel like getting out of here today?” I asked.
“Hell yeah, if you’re not too tired. I want to see the water. I can smell it for God’s sake, so I’d like to see it.”
“Let’s go.”
On our way to the beach, I noticed The Creek had been updated since my last visit. I remembered it as nine busy streets surrounded by green landscape and moss trees. Now mom and pop businesses and shopping plazas stood in lots that were once flat grassed terrain. The amount of street lights doubled if not tripled, and the population and diversity was significantly diverse.
In less than an hour, Grams removed her shoes and walked bare feet in the sand until she reached the water. She looked like a young woman as she played footsie with the waves and dusting off seashells. I could tell from her smile she was reminiscing of old times, and mom and I watched her become one with the sand as the grains sifted between her toes.
I joined her in the water, while Mom stood in line at the booth for chair rentals. Grams and I were in sync, and she hurried in one of our special talks for the few moments we had alone. “My gal went and got married on me,” she said. “Are you mad finding out this way?”
“Not at all. All I care about is you being happy. Are you happy?”
“That’s a complicated answer Grams. I love him.”
“Hell, I would love him too. But happiness is what I want for you.”
“I’m happy, we just have a few wrinkles that need ironing.”
“I’m sure you’ll tell me all about it when you’re ready. Just remember. You ain’t nobody’s fool. If you can’t get the wrinkles out, get a new shirt. Uh oh, here comes the warden.”
Listening to the waves roar a few feet away, we stretched beneath three rented beach chairs and umbrellas. Basking in the breeze with worthy conversation between three generations for hours, I forgot about my dilemma for a short while. My mind needed that break, and my soul needed what my grandmother had always given me—strength.
Once the sun set, we grabbed a quick bite to eat, and said good-bye to Grams. We headed back upstate where I spent a few more days with my mother, then I returned to Charlotte, to the abandoned place I called my own.
Khai had done a great job taking care of my plants. I did a thorough walkthrough, dusting what needed to be dusted, changed the linens to fresh washed sheets, tossed the spoiled milk from the fridge, sorted my mail, and settled in. I pulled out my laptop and stared at a blank page, not knowing where to begin, and realizing I had nothing to come back to.
Before the five o’clock traffic began, I surprised Khai at work. Popping my head in her office I teased, “They said the weed man is in here.”
“Oh my God! What are you doing here! Is this why you didn’t call me back?” she exclaimed, hugging me as I remembered I did forget to return her missed call the day the chaos erupted. “This trip was a spur of the moment,” I explained.
“Is Mash with you?”
“No, he had to work,” I sort of lied.
“That works, so we can get some girl time in.”
“Yes. I’m in desperate need.”
We met the girls at
one of the better, and upscale clubs in the city for happy hour. While we waited, Khai ordered appetizers and the first round of drinks, filling me in on what her phone call was about.
Taylor and Levi were having marital problems, but no one knew the reason why, and her father-in-law moved in with her family, so she’s been using my house as an escape. Before she finished telling me about the strain it has put on her marriage, Shannon arrived, “What’s up Grandma Klump? You remembered us little people!” I stood to hug her as Isla waved her hand and spoke in a fake British accent, “Lady Nadia has decided to grace us with her presence. What do we owe the pleasure?”
“It’s good to see you too Isla.”
We air kissed cheek to cheek as Taylor surprised me from behind. “You finally came home,” she said squeezing my shoulders.
“It took me a minute, but I finally made it. Now give me all the tea.”
Shannon lit up like a light bulb, describing her latest boy toy while Isla kept the details of her mystery man secret. I asked Taylor, “How are you and Levi doing?” She moaned something jumbly under her breath and deflected,
“How is London?”
“I don’t know. It was great at first, but now…I have a lot of decisions to make.”
“Would these decisions have to do with you getting married and not telling us,” Taylor added.
“How did you know?”
“We all know. Mash told Levi, and Levi swore me to secrecy, but you know I had to tell the girls.”
“I wanted to tell y’all in person, and show you the ring his mother passed down to me. You want to see pictures?”
They passed my phone around and swiped while I gave them the details of Barcelona and how Mash proposed, how beautiful Italy was, and how I made my head wrap for our ceremony.
“Look at you with those flowers in your hair. Levi and I should have done this. Simple, intimate and romantic,” said Taylor.
“Your wedding was beautiful Tay,” we synchronized.
“Humph,” she scoffed.
Khai gave me the side eye. She spoke of marital problems between Taylor and Levi, and it was clear something was going on there. Taking the negative light off of Taylor, I mentioned Mash’s management wants us to keep the marriage a secret—curious to see how they would respond, and who would agree with me.
“I say go along with the lie,” said Taylor. “His image is his livelihood, and from what I saw, it’s worth it to lie.”
“Sorry, but I would want everyone to know I’m the wife,” said Isla.
“What does Mash have to say about all of this?” asked Khai.
“He says I’m not a secret and not to worry. But I feel like I’m in his way.”
“Did he say that?” Shannon asked.
“No.”
“Then stop doing the Nadia thing and jumping to conclusions.”
“The Nadia thing?”
“You know what you do,” they said in unison.
I clutched my fake pearls at their synchronized depiction of me. Once again, I was the butt of the joke, but it was fine. We laughed as if nothing had changed over the months I was away, but something had. Me. I couldn’t bring myself to show them the picture, or tell them the full story of my dealings across the ocean. The old me would have blabbed every detail, but the new me chose to be happy in the moment, and to keep some things to herself.
Chapter Eleven
Arrivederci
Now what. I was no longer homesick. Mom was doing fine without me, my friends were carrying on, and our reunion was just like old times. A night of embarrassing photos and laughs, relieved me from my racing thoughts. But now it was morning, and with it came a hangover from hell, loneliness, and the constant question burdening my brain. ‘What should I do?’
I was lying on my favorite high thread count sheets with one eye open, and the other closed like Uncle Fester, when the doorbell rang. I robed and opened the door, greeted to orchids at my feet. I shouted to the delivery man, “Wait! I’ll get you a tip!” He replied, “No need! It’s already been taken care of! Thanks!
The card read:
Counting the days ~ Love Mash
I grabbed a juice and a stale bagel from the fridge, toasted it, took a bite, and threw it in the garbage. Above the trash can was my calendar with a red circle on today’s date, which meant there was a group meeting tonight. I searched for something else to snack on, but only found crackers, took them with me upstairs, texted Mash ‘I love you too’, and reacquainted myself with my sheets.
Hunger woke me a few hours later and I dressed for what remained of the day. I drove to my favorite mom and pop pizza shop across town, and gave my taste buds a pinch of heaven. Bell and banana peppers, onions, and cheese on a soft doughy crust—just as I remembered. I closed my eyes as the taste soothed my soul, when suddenly, I thought of Italy. I couldn’t help but compare it to the best pizza I ever had, forcing me to smile at the good times.
Bored and avoiding my lonely house, I drove to the building where Dr. Bartley held her sessions, then kept on driving arriving at Taylor’s house. The tension was thick between she and Levi, a knife wouldn’t suffice. She begged me to stay longer than I intended, and when I finally broke free I thought of a saying Grams used to teach me. ‘If God took all the problems and threw them in the air, everyone would grab their own.’ She was absolutely right. Feeling their vibe propelled me to reach out to London. I was ready to hear his explanation and make a decision, but just like the day I left, no answer.
The next morning, I shopped for grocery and prepared my homemade salsa and guac for bowling night. Another fun night out with my friends, was better than sitting alone in the house thinking about my problems, and why I hadn’t heard from my husband.
The crowd at the alley was mixed with newcomers and old faces. Some I recognized from the wedding, and others I couldn’t place. The groomsman I danced with at the reception served as a buffer and made a joke at my expense, “Hey Mrs. Copperfield,” he said. “One minute I saw you in London, then the next minute you vanished.”
“Sounds like me. Drew, right? Levi’s college buddy?”
“Yeah. I asked about you a few times, but Levi said I moved too slow. He said you stayed over there and got married.”
“I did.”
“Was it the guy you were dancing with?”
“You saw us?”
“Everyone did.”
I smiled, remembering Khai said the exact same thing to me. “Time to whoop ass!” yelled Brian, Khai’s husband. “Congratulations, and good luck tonight,” said Drew winking his eye as he walked off.
“Your team is the one who needs it,” I said kicking off the competitive banter.
We separated into teams and began the competition, Mars versus Venus. Alcohol always led to a night of laughs and an occasional altercation. Towards the end of the first round, the women were leading on the scoreboard, and the men were losing gracefully.
It was a drama free night, and after we took round one we huddled for some girl talk, while the losers stormed the bar to buy the second-round drinks.
“Someone told me when you get married, you become more desirable. Is that true Nadia?” Shannon asked.
“I would say yes.”
“Me too,” Khai added, “I’ve had men come out of the woodworks, but the gag is those men wouldn’t marry a soul. They just want to fuck you and send you back home.”
“Khai you cursed.”
“Well it’s true.”
“Women are no different. They want to sleep with your man just so they can stare you down and throw it in your face,” Shannon added.
“You would know,” Isla teased.
Shannon invaded Isla’s personal space and danced in a raunchy manner. Then two playfully tussled, entertaining us until Taylor interrupted, “Why are we talking about this?”
We looked to one another, realizing we were close to getting answers of what was going on in her ho
use. Khai changed the subject, “I heard Isla went hummus shopping.” Isla hid her face and blushed, then looked at me, “I don’t know how you do it. We had nothing in common.”
“You have to get the right one,” I bragged.
“By the way, our friends want us to fix whatever is going on between us. Are we good?
“We’re good,” I held out my hand to shake for a truce.
“Ladies, get your pretty asses up! We are about to redeem ourselves!’ said Levi.
Team Venus went toe to toe with Team Mars throwing strikes, turkeys, trash talking, and celebrating with in your face choreographed routines. The men drank so much beer, we thought we had an edge on them until the final frame, where we lost by a gutter ball from our weakest link.
The night was young and the party continued at Khai’s house. Brian cranked up the grill, Khai brought games outside near the pool, and Shannon’s new beau took charge of the music. As I watched the couples interact, happily and miserably, I realized I was ready to go home, and not the one a few blocks over. The one on the cusp of daylight, with the man I wanted to be happy and miserable with. ‘Guess I have made up my mind.’
Stepping away from the party, I eased over by the fence for privacy and finally made contact with London. Something was off. I could hear it in his voice. He was vague and sounded on edge, which unnerved me. Our conversation was short, and it felt like I was talking to a stranger. Not one I love you at the end. I wondered if our time apart gave him clarity—I was indeed bringing him down, and with all of the awkward silence between us, I didn’t mention I was ready to come home.
An Affair Abroad Page 13