Chapter Fourteen
* * *
Marina
I HAVE ABSOLUTELY no idea what he’s talking about. I’m not the secret-keeper in this relationship. He is.
And boy is his secret a doozy, one that’s going to change my life forever.
He acts like it’s no big deal.
“Stop playing games,” I murmur, letting my anger fuel me. He’s propped against my desk, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his biceps straining against his long-sleeved shirt, but I ignore the way my body responds to his. He always makes me feel this way. Hungry, desperate, needy. All for him.
I’m too mad. Angry sex with Gage is amazing—we’ve indulged a few times because we’re sort of sick and twisted like that—but not like this. Not with this sort of horrible betrayal.
He’s taken it too far.
“I saw what you keep on your computer.” He waves his hand toward the monitor. “I had no idea we made a porn video, Marina. Wish you would’ve told me. Do you plan on selling it now that you know what a jerk I really am? Distributing it online so it can make the rounds? Maybe earn a few million hits on YouTube?”
Gasping, I round the desk, staring at the screen where the video is paused. There we are in black and white. I can see my naked legs wrapped around him, his body hovering over mine, my arms around his neck. I minimize the screen, glancing up to find him studying me, his expression downright deadly.
“Why do you have that on your computer?” he asks, his voice scary quiet. “It makes no sense for you to keep it this long. Unless you did it on purpose so you could use it against me.”
I’m in complete shock. Does he really think that low of me? What sort of women did he date in his past? “I . . . the morning after the encounter in the kitchen, kids smashed the pumpkins we had around the front door.” I’m going to tell him the entire story, even if it kills me. “So I checked the videos from the night before and saw the kids but couldn’t identify them.”
“Okay,” he says slowly, probably wondering why I’m telling him all this.
But there is a point to my story. “Then I clicked through, checking out all the cameras we have and I saw this. Us.” Closing my eyes, I breathe deep, searching for strength. I can’t believe I’m the one who has to explain myself when he’s the one who kept the worst secret ever. I open my eyes and continue. “I—liked watching it. I was so confused after what happened between us. How could I hate someone and want him, all at the same time? You drove me crazy. Keeping this video was my way of . . . holding on to something that has sentimental value, you know?”
“A video of us fucking in your kitchen has sentimental value?” He laughs and shakes his head. “That’s just great.”
“I refuse to let you make me feel guilty. I had it up on my computer because I was going to delete it.” I don’t know why I held onto it so long. Earlier I’d brought it back up, ready to delete when my mom called. I pushed away from my computer, talked to her a bit, felt the headache come on, and then left, forgetting all about it. “I realized it probably wasn’t smart, having a video of us. What if it fell into the wrong hands?”
“No shit. Not one of your most brilliant moves, Marina.” He snorts, shaking his head.
Ah, there’s the old Gage. The one I want to slap across the face for saying such shitty, hurtful things. I stand, slapping my hands against the edge of the desk. “Don’t try and make this all about what I’ve done to you. It’s minor compared to what you’ve done and you know it. You’re the one who bought out my dad and Molina Corp. Why didn’t you tell me? How long were you going to wait? I deserved to know, Gage.”
He glares at me, his green eyes cold. Hard. “You really think I would purposely keep this from you so I could hurt you, Marina? After everything we’ve gone through, everything we’ve experienced this last month? You don’t know me at all, do you?”
I shrug, trying to blow it off. I have no idea what’s real and what’s not anymore. I don’t care how gutted he sounds. As hard as it is for me to realize, I don’t think I can trust him. “I don’t know. It’s only been a month. What could I expect from you?”
It’s Gage’s turn to rush me, coming round the desk so he’s standing in front of me, his hands clasping my upper arms, shaking me as if he can knock some sense into me. “I’m in love with you, damn it. I wanted to show you how I felt by giving you the goddamn deed to this place. I was going to give it to you as a surprise and Ivy was going to redecorate the café. I was putting together an advertising plan and everything. Anything you wanted for this place, I would’ve given you.”
I gape at him, shock rendering me completely still. He was going to give me the deed? As a gift? And have his sister redecorate the café? I can’t . . . oh my God. I’m such a jerk. “Why didn’t you tell me though? You should’ve. My mom took great pleasure in being the first one to deliver the news.”
I’m still so angry at him. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel the same way about him again. His words alone nearly destroyed me.
Now that I know he planned all of this? I don’t know what to think. What to do.
How to react.
“Yeah, I know. I fucked up. Archer said I should tell you. So did Ivy. But I wanted it to be a surprise. It was a risky move, and look. I really ruined it now.” He laughs, sounding borderline hysterical, and I want to go to him. Comfort him. Tell him everything’s going to be okay.
But I can’t. It still feels like a betrayal, just like me keeping the video of our first sexual encounter feels like a betrayal to him.
Now he talks about his plans in the past tense. Like I ruined my chances to be with him. Work with him.
Love him.
“You’re mad at me, aren’t you.” It’s not a question. He sounds so defeated, my heart is breaking for him. For me. My anger is slowly evaporating, turning more on my mother, which I know is pointless. She’s my mom. I won’t be angry with her forever.
Gage hangs his head, closing his eyes as he breathes deep. “I’m so sorry, Marina. I shouldn’t have done it like this. I made a mistake. I know you can’t trust me, but now I’m starting to wonder if I can’t trust you either.”
“Do you mean because of the video?” I ask him, my voice barely above a whisper. I can’t believe it. He’s that mad about the video?
“Yeah.” He nods, opening his eyes to stare at me. “You should’ve told me.”
“Right back at you,” I automatically say.
We stand in front of each other, the both of us silent, as if we’re waiting for the other to say something. Anything.
But neither of us do.
Finally he turns and leaves without another word. Just strides out of my office like I never existed and walks right out of my life.
Only after he’s gone do I collapse into my chair, resting my head on my desk as I sob into the pile of overdue invoices that still haunt me.
Gage
“YOU’RE STILL GOING through with it.” Archer sounds incredulous.
“I am,” I mutter, watching the company I hired repaint the café walls. “She’s given up on this place, but I won’t.”
Two weeks after our big blowup, she hung the closed sign in the door and shut down Autumn Harvest for good. I was stunned. Marina’s no quitter. I have no idea what’s come over her, and since she refuses to see me, I guess I’ll never find out.
Luckily enough she still talks to Ivy, who keeps me fully informed. She says Marina’s considering going back to school so she can get her master’s degree. But this time, she’d like to travel elsewhere. Maybe go to an East Coast school. Start over with a fresh new life. I know what she’s really referring to. She’d rather start over.
Without me.
I’ve taken over the business completely. Hell, I own it, so I can do whatever I want to it, right? I had new appliances installed, including a new oven, and I consulted Gina as to which I should purchase.
When I got off the phone with her, she called me Smart Boy—and in the sam
e breath, a total dumbass. I’d reached both the pinnacle of approval and the absolute bottom of disappointment, all at once with Aunt Gina.
“It’s going to look pretty damn amazing,” Archer says, glancing around the room, which is still under a massive construction overhaul. “Ivy’s been keeping me posted.”
“How’s she feeling?” We’re both a pair of overprotective males watching out for her and I know she hates it. Yet she likes it too, all at the same time.
“Feeling a little better, not so queasy. The morning sickness is what’s taking her down so hard. Plus she’s so tired.”
“I know. She tried to get me to let her come for this, but I told her no way. I didn’t want her inhaling the fumes,” I say.
“Good call.” Archer exhales loudly before he turns to me. “Have you spoken to her?”
“Who? Ivy?”
“No, jackass. Marina. When was the last time you talked to her?”
“Not since we split.” I shrug, acting like it’s no big deal, but not having her as a part of my life feels like I’m missing a piece of me.
I fucking hate it.
“Seriously? And I thought I was stubborn.” He shakes his head, looking ready to launch into a big ol’ speech, and I brace myself. “Look, you need to go to her and tell her you’re sorry. Ivy goes and sees her all the time and she says she’s miserable.”
“She never tells me that. Ivy acts like Marina’s just fine.”
“Yeah well, I think she’s trying to spare your feelings or worry or whatever. She’s not fine. She’s a wreck and plans on leaving to go to college across the country so she can escape her mother. She misses you. Not that you’re supposed to know that.” Archer points at me.
I keep my expression blank. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Good answer. I just . . . I can’t stand to see the two of you suffer. I know she did wrong and you did wrong.” I never told him exactly what happened, only that Marina kept something very important from me as well. The both of us weren’t perfect in this situation. I probably overreacted, but I’ve been with some bat-shit-crazy women in the past who would’ve probably used a sex tape against me to get whatever they wanted.
Meaning I’ve dated some pretty awful women, women who weren’t worthy of cleaning Marina’s toilet, let alone be in the same league as her.
“You can’t keep this up,” Archer continues when I don’t say anything. “It’s killing you both. You’re a wreck without her. Throwing yourself into your work, fixing up her bakery as some sort of homage to her? I mean, what the hell are you doing?”
“I want to do this. For her, whether she appreciates it or not.”
“Right,” Archer deadpans. “You’re crazy.”
Slowly I nod, knowing I sound crazy, but I’m not changing my mind. “This bakery belongs to Marina. It’s hers, no questions. And if she doesn’t want it, then I fully plan on giving it to Gina. This place needs to stay in the Molina and Knight family. It belongs with them.”
A smile spreads across Archer’s face. “You do have a heart, don’t you?”
“Shut up.” I shove at his shoulder. “Don’t tell anyone. I don’t want it getting out.”
I miss her. My body, my mind, my heart, they all ache without Marina in my life. I refuse to go to her though. Not until I have something to show her. Something that will prove my love to her and let her know without a doubt that I will do anything, and I mean anything for her.
Like revamp her business. From the kitchen to the front end of the store, to the new computer and ordering systems that are going to be installed within the next few days, everything’s state of the art. Top notch.
My girl deserves the absolute best.
“You’re also a sap. You still plan on presenting the bakery to her, right?”
“As long as Ivy’s still bringing Marina to the grand reopening, then yeah. I’m doing it.” No one can say I didn’t go for it with this, now can they?
“She is. Ivy told me. Marina’s thrilled that Ivy’s pregnant,” Archer informs me.
“I bet,” I murmur, not sure what to think. Why does he tell me stuff like this? Only makes me miss her more.
And damn, do I miss her. It’s only been a few weeks but it feels like years. I miss her voice, her smile, the way she yells at me when I make her angry. The whispery little moans that escape her when I make her come. I miss her scent, the way she likes to cook my dinner, how she snuggles up against my back when we sleep together.
I miss everything about her. I want her back in my life.
Within the next two weeks, I’m hoping like crazy I can make it that happen.
Once and for all.
Chapter Fifteen
* * *
Two weeks later
Marina
“I DON’T WANT to go,” I moan, hiding my head beneath the pillows. It’s way too early for me to have to deal with this. Ever since Ivy’s become pregnant, she’s been on a tear. She turned into a total bossy little thing who has no problem pushing people into doing stuff they normally would never do.
“Tough shit.” Ivy yanks the sheet off me, making me shriek. Damn, the air is cold. Almost as cold and unfeeling as she is. “We’re going to this all-day spa and we’re going to love it, even if it kills us.”
That she’s forcing me to go to a spa shows how ridiculous I am. I’m the biggest baby ever. Since I shut down the bakery and café, I’ve become a total recluse, barely getting out of my pajamas, let alone going to see anyone. I’d rather wallow in my misery.
“I don’t want to be buffed and pampered,” I whimper as I slide out of bed, shuffling toward my bathroom. Ivy’s already dressed and looks adorable, her growing baby belly so cute everyone wants to touch it, which drives her nuts. She’s not a big fan of complete strangers touching her and asking when the baby is due. I’ve even witnessed her pretending she has no clue what they’re talking about.
That always freaks them out.
I force myself into the shower, perking up considerably once I stand beneath the hot spray of water for a solid ten minutes. I emerge from the bathroom a little over twenty minutes later to find the smell of coffee calling to me.
Dang. I should ask Ivy to move in with me.
We sip coffee and talk, Ivy telling me about Archer wanting to take her to Hawaii before the baby is born and how she really doesn’t want to go. I tell her she’s crazy, they need to savor all the alone time they can get before that baby comes and totally changes their lives.
Ivy agrees.
We’re finally on the road in Ivy’s car, ready to head to the spa resort when she turns toward St. Helena, a neutral expression on her face.
“Where are you going?” I ask her, my voice quiet, my thoughts a jumbled-up mess.
I miss Gage. My mom is thrilled we’re finished and wants to talk about what a jerk he is, but I told her any discussion about Gage is off limits. Dad leaves me alone because he knows I’m heartbroken and Mom gave him the same talk I gave her.
No talk of Gage in the house. Ever.
But I want to talk about Gage. How happy he made me. How passionate we were together, both in bed and out of it. He made me think, he made me want to achieve something. Anything. He made me strong.
And now I feel weak and lonely without him.
“I needed to pick up something first,” she says vaguely, waving her hand.
Huh. I don’t like where this is going. I remain calm, though, and notice the colorful bunches of balloons hanging in front of . . . the bakery.
A giant crowd of people are waiting outside, and I see my familiar chalkboard easel, the words GRAND REOPENING written in bold script across the front of it.
No way. I had no clue the bakery was being reopened. Gage sure did move fast.
And doesn’t that leave a bitter taste in my mouth.
Ivy drives by the bakery slowly, coming almost to a complete stop so I can see everything. God, she’s obvious. “I wonder what’s going on in
there?” she asks innocently.
I don’t know how she can keep a straight face. “Gee, I don’t know, Ivy. Maybe we should go inside and see what’s going on.”
“That’s perfect!” She claps her hands together and then parks the car. She’s practically leading me by the hand toward the café, and my feet are dragging. I so don’t want to go in there. I don’t want to see the new owners, though I have my suspicions the only owner is Gage.
Still. I don’t want to deal with this. Deal with him.
Not only is the outside of the café and bakery overflowing with people waiting in line to get in, but the inside of the café is packed too. Somehow, the determined pregnant lady gets us inside and I’m immediately shocked by all the changes.
The entire interior has been repainted, and Gage ordered all new tables and chairs, giving the location a cleaner, simpler feel. A new glass case has been installed, as well as new countertops, and I can’t help but gape at everything, too stunned to study any of it for too long for fear it’ll up and disappear.
“The kitchen is revamped too,” Ivy says close to my ear so I can hear her. The chattering crowd is absolutely deafening. “You should go check it out. There’s all state-of-the-art appliances. Your aunt is in seventh heaven.”
“Wait a minute. Gina is working here?”
“How do you think they’re able to have the open house if they have no one here to bake all the goodies? Yes, she still works here. And she’s loving every minute of it, despite Archer wanting to steal her away. Not that I can talk about it.” She clamps her lips shut and does the universal sign for lock-them-up-and-throw-away-the-key. “Archer will kill me if he finds out I told you he’s desperate to take Gina.”
Yeah right. Like Archer would ever lay a hand on Ivy. “Take me to the kitchen,” I tell her, needing her with me so I won’t have to confront any of my fears—as in Gage—alone.
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