by J N Moon
“So, you really won’t believe us until you see it...and there’s no easy way. But first let me ask you Emma, have you had any strange feelings, physical experiences of late?” Ethan asked.
“Um, no. I’ve had a few headaches, but you know that’s probably just a woman thing. You think I’m turning into a wolf?” I smirked.
He sat back and looked at the others who were sat at the table.
Coral spoke quietly, “She’ll have to see, who would believe it otherwise? I wouldn’t.” She smiled warmly at me. Coral was attractive, about ten years older than me I’d say. Rich chestnut hair fell loosely to her shoulders and her sun kissed skin complemented her hazel eyes. Pete was taller, his hair shaved close, contrasting to Coral he was paler with impish blue eyes and a massive grin.
“So, one of you is going to turn into a wolf, here, in front of me? Ok? And you all believe this?” I scoffed.
“It should be me,” Ethan added. They nodded. “This won’t be easy, you’ll need...”
“Ok, enough already. I don’t believe you, but then I wouldn’t have, and I’m still unsure about that thing last night so enough already. Just do it, if you believe it!” I snapped.
“Alright.”
Knots turned and writhed in my stomach, and I noticed I was bracing.
Thoughts of grabbing my bag and sprinting as fast as I could to his car and speeding out of here flashed through my mind. Gulping as I watched my uncle, fall forward on all fours, his lips curled as he started growling in pain.
I heard a cracking sound, my uncle yelled as I watched in horror as his body actually started to... shift. In slow motion he moved and transfixed my head swam as if in a dream, suddenly very hot, my vision blurred and I knew I was about to pass out. I heard soothing words in my ear but my brain rebelled against the situation, this was too much. More cracking, more wailing and than blackness.
When I came around just Ethan and Conor were there and I sat in the comfy chair next to the fire.
“Alright Em? Don’t you worry-you’ve been through enough already,” Ethan said kindly but his face looked worried. Frowning, his eyes were dark with tiredness.
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m not cut out for this strange world you live in. My life may be boring to most but it’s simple,” I mumbled. With effort I carried on, “I work outside, like you, close to nature. I love that but I also love its simplicity.” Putting my hand to my head, it was piercingly painful and the looks on their faces didn’t help.
“Ok, we’re going to go to my place in a bit, you’ll feel safer there,” Conor added.
I stood up, trembled for a moment, went to the kitchen and downed a glass of water.
“Actually, you know what, I won’t. I am leaving, now.” I grabbed my bag, kissed Ethan on the cheek and left. Seconds later Conor was running by my side.
“Emma!” I shot him a look. “No, I won’t try and stop you, but let me walk with you-to make sure you’re safe.”
“Ok”
“Here, we can take the short cut through the forest,” he offered.
“Yeah, I don’t think so, that didn’t work out too well last time. You’re not going to turn into a wolf and eat me I hope?” I smirked.
For a second, I glanced at him, he did remind me of a wolf, or at least a dog with his bright eyes and big grin. I could imagine a tail wagging.
“I think we didn’t realise how hard this is for you-for us, we’ve known about our history a long time. Me, well, my parents showed me at such a young age I thought it was normal for everyone to, you know... shift.” He stopped and looked at me, I looked away-to be honest I didn’t believe anything. God knows what was in my hot chocolate last night.
“Imagine my surprise,” he continued, “When I found out that we, my family were freaks!” He shook his head, then looked submissively at the ground before trying to catch my gaze, glancing sideways.
“Don’t sweat it Conor, every family has skeletons and everyone has their problems. At least your crazy is out there, you know-being a shifter or whatever. I’ve known some freaks who, to all intents and purposes people think that they’re really nice human beings, but behind closed doors... well... let’s say society would be better off if they were behind bars. Come on wolf boy,” I laughed and carried on walking.
Truth was, he obviously was nuts, along with my uncle-some kind of weird cult. Or more likely someone had spiked drinks with henbane, a common enough plant here in Somerset. In medieval times they would drink henbane tea and imagine they would turn into werewolves or fly on broomsticks, it’s a hallucinogen known for users to supposedly experience this. No doubt that was responsible for my hallucination last night. I’d make sure my uncle was safe as soon as I spoke to his sister-my mother. Right now, I had to get out.
“My car! Someone’s moved my car?”
“Yes, that was some of my friends. I didn’t bother to say because, well they just moved it off the track, but here, I’ll help.”
He seemed so nice, but they often do. My car moved freely but I still had to turn around and that meant driving up the tiny track to find the turning spot.
“See you, thanks,” I yelled from the window and bumped up the dirt lane into the forest to get around.
I drove up the rickety road, turned and now facing back the right way, I tried to stop myself from looking but compulsion got the better of me, and there in the distance was the huge grey wolf watching. Spluttering a laugh, out of shock I had left just in the nick of time. Much longer I could become as crazy as them. After that, I didn’t look back.
It felt like the longest journey going home, though it was only an hour or so. Fighting to keep my eyes open, I stumbled out of my car dropping my keys. Right now, I wished I didn’t live alone, the horror of the past day and night weighed down on me, and shaking, I put my key in the door.
Finally, I was home, shut the door and bolted it and looked around my little house. Everything looked the same as I left it, normal, homely, safe. I lived on the edge of a small town, knew my neighbours and I wasn’t far from civilisation, which up until yesterday seemed too close, but not now.
I had to call my mum and let her know, now I was home the urgency of the situation hit me and the insanity. Christ-I was nearly caught up in it myself!
Putting some coffee on, I lumbered upstairs to the bathroom and ran a bath, put some lovely oils in it, got my coffee and my phone and then, just like heaven sank into the bath.
Washing away the madness, I dialled. My mum was due to see Ethan later in the week and there was no way I was going to wait that long-as his sister she could talk to his doctor. Surely, they would know if he was taking hallucinogenic herbs? He had just come out of hospital, but I’m not sure. Some herbs like belladonna, if taken in tiny amounts over a period of time might not show up in blood. I studied plants, not humans. Nor wolves. Shuddering at the thought, I wondered how I’d seen a wolf, but it must be part of their trick.
“Mum? It’s me, I’m back home. Something’s really wrong with Ethan - I had to leave. There were some strange people there, and, I think he’s on drugs or something. I think they gave some to me, I’m sure I was delirious, some freaky weird stuff happened, I’m really scared for him.”
“Calm down Emma, tell me what happened-however weird.” Irritated at how calm my mum was, I explained to her about Conor, the thing at the door-or at least what I thought was there, wolves and other such madness. I didn’t realise until I stopped spewing this out how pent up I was. As I finished, tears were streaming and I was shaking.
“I’m coming over, don’t worry-I think I know what’s going on. Now, try and relax love, I won’t be long. Love you.”
Looking around my steamy bathroom I felt like a foolish child, did she think I was crazy? Like a kid who complained about a monster under the bed, and your mum checks, but there isn’t one. Only this time there was, or at least there seemed to be. I splashed some fragrant bath water on my face, lavender oil soothing my sore skin and got out to dry. Putti
ng my pj’s on always made me feel comfy, and my dressing gown, wrapped up warm and cosy and I waited for my mum. At 32, but hey, mums are just the best. Unless they think you’re insane.
Mum was reassuring, putting her arm around me and said, “So tell me everything. This Conor you spoke of, I know him-he’s the child of your aunt and uncle’s friends in Scotland. Wolves, you said Ethan thinks he’s a wolf?”
Shocked at mum’s natural response to all this, I couldn’t stop from frowning. It was as if it was all natural but it wasn’t. Rather than reassure that she’ll get help for my uncle, she seemed to sympathise with him.
“Mum! How can you be so calm? There’s something very wrong here, I thought you’d help, not sympathise!”
Her voice changed now to authority, “Calm down Emma, there are things at work here that you don’t understand. It’s my fault, Ethan always said I should have told you. But I was hoping you wouldn’t need to know.” She sighed and looked off into the distance.
“Oh no, not you, as well! Is this why dad left?”
That jerked her out of her haze, but honestly, I did wonder. “No, it isn’t, not exactly.
Emma you need to sit down. First, your uncle’s not crazy-what he said is correct. I’d been hoping it would miss your generation as it did me. There’s no easy way to tell you, but life as you think you see it, well that’s a delusion,” she said splaying her hands to emphasise her point and looking directly at me.
“Not everyone is...human, there are more species than you know, probably more than I know but unlike the rest of my family, the lycanthrope gene was not passed to me, and I... well just didn’t feel like I fitted in, so I spent my time around other humans in the main. Your dad is human but he found out about our lineage. I think he knew instinctively that you were different, either way after he found out he couldn’t handle it and disappeared. He was lucky, they don’t usually... well never mind. Nobody’s crazy, a lot of people you met, people that you know are not what they appear to be, and it has to be that way. Humans fear what they don’t understand and that fear turns to hate, so there is a secret underworld of half humans, if you will.”
Her voice stern, “You are Wolf Born-your heritage. Stronger than any human, you’re now part of something bigger. Most Wolf Born stick together in communities, Ethan lived alongside his. And Conor is a part of that, though his parents chose to leave and move up North when he was a baby, but times then were different. It’s ok to say nothing, it’s a lot to take in, but soon you’ll need to join with them, for safety and for being with others like you. Your tribe. Human’s cannot know, only a few ever do. Most couldn’t handle the truth and would lose their minds or tell others and end up locked up. We’ve survived because we’ve stayed hidden.”
I sunk back in my chair, I felt the blood draining from my face and my body was unable to move. At least this meant the others, my uncle included wasn’t insane.
“But you’re not like me?” I muttered.
“No, it sometimes skips a generation,” her smile was warm and she touched my arm in reassurance. “Don’t worry Emma, in a few months you’ll look back at this and wonder why you found it so hard to believe. Your uncle had it easier I guess, he found out during his teens, it usually comes on earlier.”
Standing up she looked around assessing my home, my life.
“I’m going to have to leave this aren’t I? I don’t want to. My job? Will I have to leave that, too?”
“No, not necessarily. You will need some time to adjust though, after the first changing. That can be hard, I’m not going to lie to you.... So, what did you think of Conor?” she smirked and winked at me.
My eyes wandered around the room, I sighed, “Well, he’s not crazy so that’s good,” was all I was going to offer.
“Is that all? I’d say he’s smoking hot! I’ve seen his picture from Ethan’s Facebook page,” she laughed.
“I didn’t even know Ethan was on there.”
“Well us older ones don’t like to invade your privacy,” she offered. “You saw him as a wolf?” Shaking her head at the thought and a wide smile, I watched her go to the kitchen and get something out of the shopping bag she’d left on the side.
“I think this calls for a drink, don’t you? I don’t think coffee will cut it right now.”
Narrowing my eyes, I gasped, “What’s with all the whiskey with everyone right now?”
“Well, as you are, what you are, nothing else is strong enough to affect you. It’s tradition-kind of. It’s single malt.”
“Ok.”
Pounding like a brass band on a bad day, my head was sore as I stumbled down the stairs the next morning. The aftermath of a night of whiskey with my mum, who I never knew drank whiskey, let alone could drink that much. I was glad I couldn’t remember everything, we’d talked as friends rather than mother and daughter and now I reached for the aspirin before putting on the coffee.
So, I’d re-join my not so crazy uncle and his clan and I’d... no, I couldn’t comprehend that right now with this headache without coffee.
Dragging myself upstairs, I got dressed and packed some things since I knew I’d be leaving for a while. Mum was ready and waiting, smiling, and looking like she’d had an early night.
“I’ve phoned Ethan-they’re expecting us,” she told me.
“You’re coming, too?”
“Yes, but I’m not staying. Ethan told me that you will be staying with Conor, I’d like it if we could convince my brother to do the same.”
Sighing, I picked up my bag and followed her to the car. Everything seemed surreal, heaviness in my stomach and body as I slumped in the passenger seat. Mum was talking but I wasn’t listening, I was looking at the world around me, the world that, until a few days ago I thought I knew and now I wasn’t so sure.
How many other species were out there? That thing then was real, and as its image flashed into the forefront of my mind, I gasped and a few beads of sweat trickled from my forehead.
I gazed out of the car window as she drove, talking at me, the drive was fairly rural and looking out across the pretty English landscape, looking at the quaintness of it all I felt betrayed. Nothing was as it seemed, looking at the people in cars passing I wondered how many of them were human, and at the rural farmsteads in the distance, were they run by our kind? Were there people I knew different? Had they been afraid to tell me and were living two lives, one on the surface and one hidden, dark and wild. Is that what I would do now?
As we entered the track that led to my uncle’s house, my legs tensed, I found my fingers gripping the car seat, a churning in my stomach. Slowing my breathing, mum still rambling, I sat up and tried to think of anything else.
Ethan and Conor were sitting on the veranda waiting, both with warm smiles. As I caught Conor’s eye, my heart started to flutter and my pulse raced, he wasn’t some kind of psycho, just part man, part wolf. Around him I was flooded with warmth, and I’d doubted myself, doubted my ability to judge my instincts around men, which I guess judging by my past experiences wasn’t surprising. Knowing he wasn’t crazy, meant I wasn’t and maybe it was safe to be more relaxed around him. To be myself.
As we got out of the car no one spoke, just smiles and my uncle’s outreaching arm to wrap around me as we went inside.
My mum was the first to speak, “So, aside from the obvious with my daughter-the Nuckelavee? I remember hearing the stories when we were children, but never expected to see one.”
My uncles face changed from smiling to serious, his forehead furrowed, mouth tight. As a kid, I remembered when I saw him get angry, it was always shown in his face first, where-as my mum was subtler.
“Yes, and I trust you won’t be seeing it! Did you bring the book?” He asked anxiously.
She didn’t answer, putting her bag down on the oak dining table which sat near the window, and pulled out a tome of a book. I’d never seen it before, its dirty green cover looked like cracked leather and it was bound shut with a leather cord.
Looking to me and Conor she explained, “This has been in our family for generations, it’s what some would call a Book of Shadows. Many of our ancestors have written in it, some have written and explained spells cast-usually to protect us, or others. There’s also a list of creatures, ethereal and physical, demons, vampires, clans-everything. At the back, there’s a list of some family trees.
Conor-it would be advisable if this was kept at your home.” She said looking around. “It isn’t safe here,” and shaking her head she continued as she looked at Ethan. “My brother won’t object. And yes, brother, there is writing in here on the Nuckelavee.”
She placed the tome onto the table and opened the bookmarked page. Huddled around it, we squinted, the writing was very old, faded in places with a crude illustration of the creature that I’d previously thought, hoped that I’d imagined. Most of it was written and drawn with a quill judging by the hand, so my mum backed us off.
“I’ll read it aloud, but first we need a drink.” She barely got the words out when Conor returned with mugs and a coffee pot and we sat around the little table expectantly.
The words poured out of my mum, “We know it originates in Orcadian mythology and it usually resides in the sea.” She took a deep breath before continuing, “It says it’s one of the worst, most terrifying demons which holds extreme evil powers and it takes the half-human, half-horse form when on land, much like the centaur. It derides pleasure in its malevolence, its breath is so foul that it can destroy crops and sicken or even kill human and animals. It has no skin, black blood and muscle and sinew are exposed, since it’s not of the physical world, this doesn’t hinder it.” She looked up.
Conor leapt in, “But why is it targeting our species and how do we kill it? We know it’s meant to be under the guard of the Mither o’ the Sea and probably has its origin in Nordic mythology but isn’t there anything about how to kill it?”
My mum, completely unfazed by Conor’s outburst, simply said, “Fresh water. It says all you have to do is to pass through a river of fresh water, since it’s a salt water creature.” She looked at him, her eyebrows raised, knowing as we all did that that alone wasn’t likely to work, since bullets didn’t.