His Tormented Heart

by Katee Robert

  “Your cock would make me feel great.” God, what was she doing? She should be happy that all he wanted was so lick her pussy until she was a melted puddle of a woman. She shouldn’t be pushing him for yet more.

  He lifted his head. “I also don’t have condoms.”

  Oh. Oh. She was gone for him in this moment, but not that far gone. Delilah had a short and fiery debate with herself, but she finally propped herself up on her elbows. “You asked my fantasy earlier.”

  “Yes.”

  “If sex is out of the equation …” She shivered. “If it’s out of the equation, what’s your fantasy.” She saw the way his mind was going and rushed on. “Not to make me come half a million times. Hand jobs are out for obvious reasons.”

  “Agreed.” The way he watched her had Delilah shivering again, as if she was a complicated puzzle box he’d take great delight in pulling apart and putting back together again.

  She should stop, should let this end now, but her mouth kept moving and words kept emerging. “You love my tits.”

  “You have great tits.”

  Delilah cupped her breasts, making sure to spread her fingers so he could see her nipples. His gaze narrowed, just like it did when she touched herself while she danced for him. “Do you want to fuck my breasts, Ryu?” She loved the way his body went tight at every dirty word she said, as if he couldn’t get enough of them. Of her. “You like to watch.” She drew her finger down the center of her chest. “Watch your cock slide here, watch my nipples go tight with wanting you, watch yourself come all over my chest.”

  Dirty. So fucking dirty. She really was nothing more than a temptress, leading herself and others into sin. Delilah didn’t care. She wanted him too much.

  “Fuck,” he breathed.

  “Is that a yes?”

  “That’s a hell yes.” He moved up her body and straddled her stomach. Delilah held her breath and Ryu shoved his swimsuit down his hips to free his cock.

  It was even better than she’d imagined. Seeing was believing, after all, and Ryu’s thick length took her breath away. She wanted him inside her, fucking away the last of reality clinging like stubborn cobwebs to her mind. It wasn’t in the cards today, but this was the next best thing.

  He fisted himself and gave a rough stroke. “Open.”

  Her body went tight as she obediently parted her lips and let him guide his cock into her mouth. Wetting himself on her tongue. Making a mess of both of them. She lost herself in the feeling of him carefully fucking her mouth. Why hadn’t she suggested this in the first place? She kept her hands on her breasts, gripping herself tightly to resist reaching for him. She wouldn’t do anything to stop this before its inevitable conclusion.

  She couldn’t stop a moan of protest when he pulled free, and Ryu’s dark chuckle had her clenching her thighs together. “Another time.” He braced himself on the top of the lounge chair. “Now.”

  Delilah pressed her breasts together and arched up as he slid his cock between them. It was so incredibly dirty. So wrong.

  She loved every second of it. She watched Ryu’s face, his expression twisted into something both awestruck and fierce. As if he couldn’t believe this was happening. Well, that made two of them.

  The power in each thrust had every muscle in his body flexing. She went a little lightheaded at the sight. She knew he was sexy, of course. Delilah had fantasized about taking things too far in the private rooms just like she’d told him. But this was different. Without his suit, he was all raw power and a concentration that left her shaking.

  “Delilah.” He gave a shudder and then he came in great spurts across her chest and neck. She closed her eyes against the raw longing in his face. No matter how much she desired him, in that moment, she couldn’t trust what he might see on her face.

  He might see the truth.

  She just didn’t know what truth. That she was a traitor in waiting. That she wanted to flip him over and ride his cock just like she described early. That she didn’t want to fuck him because she was a traitor. She wanted it despite that.

  Oh god, what was she doing? Reality came crashing down around Delilah the second she opened her eyes. Sexing up Ryu wasn’t part of the plan, and even if it had been, getting swept away remained out of the question. Except that’s exactly what she did.

  She sat up the second he moved off her. Now would be the time to grab his phone and do what needed to be done. Or it would be if Ryu wasn’t staring at her like he’d come across an equation he couldn’t quite unravel.

  I’ve made a terrible mistake.

  “I have to go.”

  “What?”

  She scrambled off the chair, cast a look at the pool where her discarded suit floated, and gave it up for a lost cause. She could not think about the stickiness coating her chest—or how it didn’t really bother her at all. “I have to go. Right now.”

  “Delilah.”

  She had to get out of that room right that second, because if he said her name again in that gentle tone of voice, she might throw herself at his feet and beg him to save her. Delilah knew better than to trust him—to trust anyone—to help her. Ryu might have the markings of not being a total monster, at least in this moment with lust clouding her brain, but the truth was she didn’t know a damn thing about him beyond his reputation as Pestilence. If Pestilence found out that she planned to betray him, he’d toss her off the island. That was the best-case scenario.

  If Death found out?

  Well, she wasn’t called Death without reason.

  “I’ll, uh, see you around.” She couldn’t think about how she was going to get access to his phone. The only thing that mattered was getting the hell out of there before she told him the truth and Esther paid the price. The Horsemen had no reason at all to care about Delilah’s little sister. They wouldn’t prioritize her safety.

  That’s why Delilah had to.

  “Delilah, stop.” All the softness had disappeared from his voice, leaving only the hard edge behind. The reminder of exactly who he was and why she couldn’t trust him.

  “I’m sorry.” She grabbed a towel and winced as the move pulled at her wrist. When Ryu had his hands on her, she hadn’t been thinking about the ache. She’d only thought of the pleasure. An apt metaphor, that. Pleasure would get her and the only person she cared about in this world killed. Pain was the only truth Delilah could trust.

  “I have to go.” She wrapped the towel around herself and bolted out of the room.

  Chapter 7

  Ryu had well and truly fucked up. In all the years since they escaped that camp, he’d clung to the truth that he’d never hurt an innocent. Their enemies knew what they signed up for. So did the people who came to the Island of Ys to do more than throw away time and money. To move against the Horsemen was to invite retribution that was downright biblical in nature.

  And yet in the last forty-eight hours he’d hurt an innocent woman.

  Twice.

  He dropped his head into his hands and cursed long and hard. It didn’t help, but he hadn’t really expected it to. Nothing helped anymore.

  “Rough day?”

  He looked up to find Luca standing in the doorway. The weeks of recovery from his injuries had taken their toll on Ryu’s brother. He’d lost muscle mass and his once-suntanned skin was several shades paler from all the time spent inside. He even moved with a stiff way that indicated pain. For all that, seeing him up and moving after a period of time when they weren’t sure if he’d even live … It made Ryu smile. “You could say that.”

  “Want to talk about it?” Luca took several steps and carefully lowered himself into the chair near Ryu’s desk.

  “You escaped your nurse?” Cami had barely left Luca’s side since he was injured. Their honeymoon period was spent in physical therapy, but she hadn’t faltered once. He respected the hell out of her for that. His brother really had chosen well.

  At his raised brows, Luca glowered. “Cami and Kenzie are off doing something they very car
efully didn’t talk about in front of me, and I figured it was better not to ask.”

  “Wise of you.”

  “I’m a wise kind of guy.” He frowned. “But we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about what has you cursing into an empty room. Is this about the exotic dancer?”

  For the most part, they kept no secrets from each other, but the flip side of that was that his siblings gossiped like old ladies. “I keep fucking up when it comes to her.”

  A faint smile ghosted across his brother’s face. “I’m familiar with the experience.”

  “This isn’t like you and Cami. She just …” He hesitated. To admit that Delilah gave him peace was to admit exactly how fucked up he was over the revelation about his father. He wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about it, wasn’t sure he could talk about it. Of them all, only Luca had come from a healthy home—at least before he was stolen. If it weren’t for Ryu’s father, Luca would have been raised in his home country, Thalania. He would be a lord, and he probably would still have ended up with Cami. She just wouldn’t have had to renounce her role as Princess of Thalania in the process. Not to mention the abuses Luca suffered. Different from Ryu’s, but no less harrowing. He had the physical scars as a reminder of everything he’d survived.

  Too many sins to count, and all of them could be laid at Ryu’s father’s feet.

  How could Ryu avoid feeling guilty about that? How could he unload his bullshit on Luca when his bloodline was the source of all their pain?

  “It’s not your fault.”

  He looked up to find his brother watching him closely. “What?”

  “You’re grappling with guilt that has nothing to do with you.” Luca ran his hand through his dark hair. “Shit, Ryu. If anyone should be extra fucked up about this, it’s you and Te. I was just some random kid. So was Kenzie. But he’s your father and he knowingly put you in that place. You’re entitled to your pain, but you don’t get to add guilt to the shit you’re already carrying around.”

  He wished he could believe that. “It’s not that simple.”

  “It’s exactly that simple.” Luca gave a wan smile. “But neither you nor Te take things at face value, so that means you won’t do it with this, either. We’ll bring our special brand of justice to him. You can count on it.”

  He knew that. Of course he knew that. It just … “It isn’t enough.”

  “Nothing’s enough.” Luca shrugged. “But if you let this eat you alive from the inside, then it finishes the job they started in that place. And he wins.” He leaned forward, dark eyes intense. “He doesn’t get to win, brother. He didn’t then, and he sure as fuck doesn’t now just by virtue of his connection with you.”

  Luca was right.

  Ryu just wished he could shrug off the sick feeling coating his skin so easily. “I’m losing it.”

  “You’re dealing with some shit. It’s temporary.”

  It didn’t feel temporary. It felt like things spiraling out of control, a top spinning faster and faster beneath his feet. Nothing remained solid. One wrong step and he’d be lost forever.

  Wrong steps seemed to be the only ones he could manage these days.

  “I hurt her.”

  Luca sat back. “From what I understand, it was an accident.”

  “We’re too well trained to let something as simple as an accident fly and you know it.” They each had their baggage. Luca couldn’t deal with anything that took him back to those long hours and days in the icy forest, to the violence he was roped into there. Kenzie had to let off steam with fucking or fighting on the regular or she started to come a little loose around the edges. Amarante had her own ways of dealing with shit when the pressure got to be too much.

  And Ryu?

  Ryu worked.

  He glanced at his computer. The puzzle that had intrigued and tormented him in equal measure for the last fifteen years was solved. The answers brought him no joy. They sure as fuck brought him no peace.

  “Ryu.” Luca shook his head. “I won’t make excuses for you. You fucked up. But if I know you, you’re going to make it right.”

  If only it were that easy. He couldn’t get the panic on Delilah’s face out of his mind. She hadn’t panicked when he’d grabbed her wrist. Hadn’t really panicked when they were in the pool. But their bringing each other to orgasm was enough to have her fleeing naked from the room.

  “I fucked that up, too.”

  Luca huffed out a laugh. “This woman had you tied in knots.”

  “It’s not that simple. I crossed the line.” He ran his hands over his face. “I thought I’d teach her to swim.”

  “She lives on an island and can’t swim?”

  He almost laughed at the incredulity in his brother’s voice. “That’s what I said.”

  “So you started teaching her to swim. That’s sweet, right?” He said it like he wasn’t quite sure.

  “It would be.” Damn it, he had to say it. “I lost control again. I fucking mauled her, Luca. She gave me an inch and I all but fucked her right there in the pool.”

  Luca went still. “I’m going to need you to explain.”

  Even his brother didn’t fully trust him. The confirmation of exactly what he feared shook Ryu more than he expected. “I didn’t force her,” he bit out.

  “No fucking shit you didn’t force her.” He narrowed his eyes. “That is not what I meant.”

  Ryu swallowed hard. “I’m her boss. Maybe not directly, but ultimately I have the power to fire her if it comes down to it.”

  “Yeah. So?”

  “So.” He wanted to punch his brother a little in that moment. A lot. “She’s injured because of me, she’s out of work for over a week because of me, and then I’m panting all over her like some horny idiot and she’s giving it up to me because she doesn’t know what other option she has.”

  Luca stared for a long moment. And then he burst out laughing. “You are so full of shit.”

  “Goddamn it, take this seriously.”

  “I think you’re taking it seriously enough for the entire island. Fuck, Ryu, I haven’t met her personally, but even I know how Delilah Velásquez operates. That woman takes shit from no one—not even you. If she didn’t want whatever went down between the two of you, do you think she’d be sending messages asking to see you?”

  That brought him up short. “What?”

  “Yeah, what.” Luca held up a square notecard. “Damien passed this off to me.” He held it out, and Ryu tried and failed not to snatch it out of his hands. A handful of words written in handwriting nice enough to pass for font.

  Sorry.

  Let’s try this again? Tonight?

  What did she have to be sorry for?

  He set the card on his desk. “This changes nothing.”

  Luca sighed. “Fine. Be an idiot if that’s what you’re determined to do.” He carefully leaned back and touched his side. “When is Te going to let us in on the plan she’s putting together?”

  Luca and Kenzie always did this. They assumed that Ryu had an inside thread into how Amarante’s mind worked. He did in a lot of ways. His sister had been his one guiding light for as long as he could remember. She protected him in the camp as best she could. Later, when they were homeless in the streets, she’d taken charge and it was her plans that eventually got them out.

  That and Ryu’s technological know-how.

  But with each step of this plan they enacted, Amarante grew more and more distant. The reveal that their father’s hand held the reins had barely made her miss a step—at least on the surface. Even he didn’t know what went on beneath her icy exterior.

  Not this time.

  Footsteps made them both look up as Amarante walked into the room. She took them in with a sweeping glance. “You’d be better served to ask me that question, Luca.”

  He snorted. “Kind of hard to do that when you’re spending hours on end closeted up. Figured you’d take it badly if I kicked down your door.”

  “As if you could
kick down anything in your current condition.” She raised an eyebrow. “But to answer your question, we talk tomorrow. It’s time to lay out all the facts.”

  “Fucking finally.”

  Amarante turned to Ryu. She frowned. “You made it worse.”

  “I made it worse.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Go fix it, brother. You won’t be able to focus until you do.”

  She spoke nothing more than the truth, but he couldn’t help resenting how none of his siblings took this seriously. He’d fucked up. Significantly fucked up. Yet they kept insisting on acting like he had all the excuses in the world. As if he could do no real wrong. Misstep, sure, but not actual harm.

  As if he didn’t have the blood of a monster running through his veins.

  Ryu rose and walked out of the room before they could roast him further. On another day, in another time, he’d enjoy the grief they handed out, would see it as further evidence of healing. There was a time when none of his siblings joked. Not even Kenzie.

  But he couldn’t appreciate it now. Not when their loyalty meant they continued to overlook the damage he’d done. He had to find a way to make this up to Delilah, and to do it without losing control. She deserved better than that.

  If he was a better man, he’d leave her alone completely.

  Ryu stopped short. That was the answer, of course. He couldn’t trust himself around Delilah, which meant he couldn’t be around Delilah.

  The realization left a sour taste on the back of his tongue. Disappointment. Selfish dick that he was, he wanted to go around with her another time or two. The reaction, more than anything, spurred him into motion. He’d have to be back in the hub to meet with his siblings in the morning, but in the meantime, he needed to get the hell away from Pleasure and the temptations it offered by way of proxy to Delilah. His best bet would be to leave the island completely, but it wasn’t an option.

  Feeling confident in his plan for the first time in weeks, he headed for the exit. No matter how shitty it felt, staying away from Delilah was the best option for both of them. The money he’d deposited in her account would have to be apology enough.