Pixie reached his side and patted his forearm. I looked from Gaze to the new guy and back again. They resembled each other. The same jaw, the same build. New Guy was a little shorter, but Gaze’s basketball height was a lot to compare to.
“Hey, brother!” Austin put his hands on my shoulders before stepping around me. I knew he knew that I was boystruck by this strang passenger. He was great at reading me. He’d also make fun of me later, but Austin would use his charm to get some of the most immediate answers I’d want to know.
Gaze and Austin thwamped each other in an exuberant hug. New Guy muttered and shook his head, “Brother, huh?”
Pixie Rae had an empathetic look on her face. I was really dying to know what the hell was going on here.
“Mom and Dad around? I’ve got something to clear with them.” Gaze tipped his chin toward the house.
Austin stuck his hand out to New Guy while answering Gaze, “No, they went to Costco. You know how they love to buy everything in bulk. Have we met?”
The greeting hung in the air before the new guy reached in to pump Austin’s hand. “Ruffian. Nice to meet you…”
“Austin Burathon. Welcome.”
Pixie sidestepped the guys and wrapped me in a hug. I buried my face in her chestnut hair. “What the hell is going on?”
She whispered back into my ear, “So much.”
“Thanks for having me.” Ruffian glanced my way.
Gaze stepped next to me and put his arm around my shoulders while Pixie put hers around my waist like they were protecting me.
I put my hand out. “Teddi. And how do you know Gaze and Pixie?”
Ruffian hesitated just enough to bite his bottom lip tiny little bit. “Long-lost brother.”
He took my hand just as the shock made my jaw drop.
Chapter 6
RUFFIAN
I WASN’T EXPECTING to meet the prettiest girl in the world today. Maybe they were all like this—gorgeous and in the rich part of town. Her blonde hair was shiny and her clothes were name brands. She had on a gold necklace with an infinity charm on it. I was betting my balls it was real gold.
She was shocked that I was Gaze’s brother. Actually, the Austin guy was, too, but he transitioned well. He was also wearing a skirt and red nailpolish, so maybe shocking him took work.
Teddi. A boy’s name, but her curves were all woman. Dammit. I was wary of her already. Gaze, Pixie, and Austin surrounded her like she was a princess and they would fight anyone that looked at her funny.
I hiked my bag farther up on my shoulder. This whole idea I had—it may have sucked. It felt real now. Standing here in an actual driveway with a family and a cleanly landscaped lawn.
The SUV that pulled in behind Gaze’s car was huge. Obviously to fit all these kids. The mom and dad seemed like they were straight from the casting in a commercial. A cocker spaniel ran around in the backyard barking at the commotion.
In the flurry of welcomes from the parents to Pixie and Gaze, I found myself standing next to Teddi. We both turned our heads at the same moment and made eye contact. Her blue eyes were open doors. This was a girl that was so new at life. Just limitless hope in her eyes.
I resented it. As gorgeous as she was, there was a part of me that wanted to show her that life was a kick in the ass, mostly.
We didn’t say anything as her eyes grew wider, like she could sense what I was thinking.
Before we could talk, Pixie grabbed Teddi’s hand and pulled her toward the backyard, where Austin was jumping the gate to calm the dog.
“Rocket! You’re never going to get treats if you keep yapping like that.”
Teddi turned twice to look at me while Pixie pulled her in the opposite direction.
It was like there was a crackle of a spark between us. I could close my eyes and find her in the dark just going from this feeling she gave me.
Complications. Didn’t expect white-hot innocent temptations.
I had to stay focused. And now I had to act.
Gaze hugged the parents. The man introduced himself as Mike, and Ronna, the woman, asked if I was hungry.
I followed them all into the house as Gaze led the way for me. We got to the kitchen and Gaze motioned to a seat.
“So, Pixie texted us that you guys had a favor to ask, and you already know the answer is yes, so what’s up?” Mike sat at the table next to me like he’d done just that a million times before.
“Well, turns out my father had a little bit of a life we didn’t know about. Ruffian here just found out that he’s related to me. He’s my brother, by blood.” Gaze rubbed his arms, clearly put out that he was having to ask for me to stay here.
Ronna covered her mouth and then smiled around her fingers.
Mike reacted quickly, “Well, any family of yours is family here, too.”
Surprise number one. These people were good. I mean, I tried to make assessments as soon as I could. It was one of the things my mom taught me. But despite the fancy ass house and the having everything crap—even putting gold jewelry on their daughter—they were as welcoming as could be. I didn’t sense anything shady about them. On the contrary, Ronna seemed absolutely delighted. She fussed around the kitchen and offered me three different drinks before I asked for a glass of water just to appease her.
Gaze nodded at me and made a motion with his hands. He wanted me to tell them more. That I wasn’t just dropping by to say hi.
I took a few sips of my water before clearing my throat. “My mom recently passed away.” I rehearsed it in my head a hundred times. I never expected the crack in my voice. Heartache was rocks in my throat.
Ronna reached out and covered my hand with hers. “Oh, sweetheart. I am so, so sorry.”
Genuine. I looked at the table and tried to memorize the grain I found there. I didn’t want to cry for a number of reasons, but Teddi walking through the back-porch door with the dog squiggling in her arms was at the top of the list right now.
“She had cancer, so it wasn’t unexpected.” It was my voice, but it sounded like a robot. This was what I needed to do. Get legit. Research, investigate, formulate a crew to help me rob the bank or pull a heist. This family would be the perfect cover. They couldn’t be more squeaky clean if they tried.
“Still. My heart hurts for you. Where are you staying?”
And then Gaze stepped forward. “He doesn’t have a place…”
Mike stood quickly. “Nonsense. We have a room downstairs with his name on it. Ruffian, right? Let me show you to it.”
And just like that, I was enveloped into Gaze and Pixie’s world. Just on the strength of being his blood, I was afforded a room in a fancy house with a door that locked and my own private bathroom.
There would be paperwork, according to Ronna, but as long as I was happy, they would move hell and high water to get me to stay in their house.
Pixie came through and moved out some of her things, explaining that she stayed with Gaze and that this room was all mine.
“I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. I’m here if you need someone to talk to. I lost my mom when I was younger.” She patted my shoulder.
I couldn’t talk about it again so soon. It was still burning in my throat and my eyes. I just nodded and Pixie left, maybe realizing I was on the edge.
I unpacked a few things into the dresser that was set up. I reclined in the big bed, shoes still on, and looked at the space next to me. So much room. So much comfort. I put my hands behind my head and tried to imagine where my mom was now. Her body. What did they do when no one came to claim you because they couldn’t afford to bury you? I hoped she was safe and they were treating her with respect. I closed my eyes and the tears came again, slipping out the corners of my eyes and down my cheeks.
It should be different. I was the only one who could honor her. Remember her. And I would create a monument to who she was with the things I did. It wouldn’t be enough. She was bigger than all that. I missed her.
“Ruff? Did you see that?”
I was eight and sitting by the river. Our science lesson. Mom was excited that we’d found a little pod of tadpoles. I knew all about frogs. Frogs were a favorite. I could keep them in my pocket for a little while. Toads, too. Mom even let me keep small garden snakes from time to time. The rules were I couldn’t keep them overnight and they had to be returned where we found them.
I was okay with that. Mostly. If I named them, it was harder. But she was right. The pets from outside needed the right habitat and a hotel room was not that place at all.
So we would talk now, about how frogs started out. She would do that. Find what I loved a lot and really let me know all about it. After we observed the tadpoles, we walked slowly to the library. Frog day would have a lot of books and I knew where most of them were. And they even had a frog puppet that I could rent as long as I took really careful care of him. His name was Bernie.
The mean librarian was at the desk today. She didn’t like Mom as much as Judy did. Judy would always have a bag or two of stuff for Mom. I would help her carry whatever it was back home. Sometimes it was food. Sometimes it was clothes. But no Judy meant nothing to carry. It didn’t matter, though. Mom and I knew how to make ourselves small and quiet so we could stay and learn. That was our deal. I could shout outside, but inside I had to make sure I could stay and learn.
My favorite frog book was first. It was in the biology section and had clear pages with layers of a frog printed on each one. Skin, muscle, bones. It was amazing how much those little guys had going on inside them. I put my finger on the first clear page, like I was petting the frog’s head.
“Do they think? Like, are they a person inside like you’re a person inside and I’m a person inside?”
Mom sat next to me on the rough carpet that covered the library’s floor.
“We don’t know, doodlebug.” She pulled me next to her and “petted” the frog as well. “What do you think?” Her long hair fell onto the page, and I grabbed a strand and wrapped it around my finger.
“I think so. I mean, they can be scared and they can be calm. Sometimes frogs pee on me, but sometimes they don’t. I think they are happy when they make noise at night.” I turned my head to look at Mom. She was smiling at me again. She did that a lot.
I realized I had closed my eyes in my new bed. So soft. I knew that I’d have to take a blanket and lie on the floor to really get a good night’s sleep. I needed to feel the ground. I wondered how long it would take me to get used to this. Would I ever get used to it. I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
I had plans. I had a memorial to build. And I didn’t have time to keep thinking about pretty Teddi. Not even a little bit.
Chapter 7
TEDDI
AUSTIN COULD SAY more with his eyebrows than some people could say with their whole mouths. He followed me into my bedroom and I caught sight of those impeccably groomed punctuators.
“Stop.” I was already trying to defend myself.
Ruffian was moving in just like that. I had another person in the house with me after I had been an empty nester. Austin bit his lips together and then rolled his eyes around and around.
When I didn’t say anything else, Austin offered up, “I could feel the attraction through the air, child. Through the air. And you and I both know that boy is your type, as if you ordered him custom off the internet.”
I threw a stuffed heart at him. He caught it and pretended to kiss it.
“He’s family now, so don’t even.” I flopped backward onto my bed and looked at the ceiling.
“I think you’re stretching the word family. I mean, I’m as welcoming as the next guy, but surprise brothers make me take a think or two, you know?” Austin tossed one of my throw pillows in the air.
“Wait, you don’t think he’s legit?” This was news to me. Well, the whole thing was news to me. From what I knew about Gaze’s horrible father, anything was possible.
“I didn’t say that.” Austin tossed the pillow again and I caught it on its way down. “I just want to get to know him a little better.”
“That’s a very politically correct answer, young man.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Are you jealous? Because you and Gaze have such a lovely bro-lationship?”
“A little.” Austin puffed out his cheeks.
That’s one of the many things I loved about my older brother. He would always answer a question honestly. Sometimes brutally so, but it was something I could count on.
“Don’t worry, no one compares to you.” I gave him the pillow back for tossing. This was a conversation I wanted to revisit with Pixie and maybe Mom and Dad.
“He’s super hot, though, if you’re into that kind of cut jaw and dangerous vibe.” Austin used the pillow to prop up his head instead of as an activity for his hands.
“And you’re not into that type of thing?” I rolled over and put my head on Austin’s chest.
“No, baby. I’m into tense, skinny, Goth guys right now. And that new boy is in your age bracket, not mine.” He put one hand in his thick hair.
We both slipped into our own thoughts. With a name like Ruffian, I was pretty sure I would be able to search the internet for him. Getting chemistry sparks when our eyes met was one thing, but him becoming a part of my close family was another. I trusted fairly easily. But if anyone hurt my family, I would fight like hell. Even if I did see his face on the back of my eyelids when I closed my eyes.
Chapter 8
RUFFIAN
I KEPT MY foot looped through the straps of my bag like I usually did. It was how Mom and I kept track of our stuff. She was a light sleeper, and once I was old enough to throw a decent punch, she taught me how to guard my knapsack. It was how we lived. We didn’t have a whole lot at any given time. Once in a while, we had money for rent or hotel rooms. Sometimes I had library books that needed to be treated carefully. There was the tin that had our important papers, but those wouldn’t be of much use to anyone.
I heard a light knock on my door. I eyed it for a few seconds before the knock sounded again.
“Come in.”
I sounded normal. Like it was no big deal to have a space that people asked whether or not they could enter. The door swung open and I could tell from the tall frame that it was Gaze. I nodded at him and he stepped inside before closing the door behind him. He then used it to rest his back and shoulders against while he looked at me.
“So what’s the endgame here? Where do you see this ending up?” There was a slight twitch under his left eyelid. Strain? Distrust? It could be either of those.
“I honestly don’t know,” I lied.
I knew how it ended. I had a plan I was obsessing over since the moment Mom closed her eyes for the last time. This family and my brother were going to be the best cover ever.
“After all these years on the streets with my mom, I’m just trying to get used to the idea of life without her in it. We were really close.” That part is true. It was a winning combination. Add a bit of real emotion, and then people just used that as icing over the things that didn’t make sense or come together correctly.
“Mike and Ronna are going to want to put you in school for the last semester or two. They are big on education.” Gaze folded his arms over his chest. My brother was ripped as hell. I knew he was kind of a basketball legend around town, but seeing his physique really cemented the rumors for me. He was both solid and limber.
“That’s okay. I mean, I was homeschooled, but we were homeless so that made it all a misnomer.”
I watched as the empathy painted itself on his expression. Good. That was what I wanted. Feel my backstory—hell, feel guilty that you were in this cushy house for years while I was in a tent in the woods. I would use any advantage I could get here.
“That’s cool. We can talk about it tomorrow. I’m sure you’re beat. I just wanted to check in on you. You need anything?” He tilted his head like this was a daily conversation and my answer riveted him.
I needed like a million dollars. But
I wanted to have some peace and quiet. “I’m good. Good on you, though, Gaze. I appreciate you.”
Gaze bobbed his head up and down before letting himself out. I wondered how the day would work tomorrow. Usually, I had to be up and moving just after sunrise. If we were in a shelter, there was always a time we needed to settle up and move along. In hotels, there was check-out as soon as we ran out of money to pay. In the woods, we would break down the camp from time to time to avoid the authorities. That was the constant of my life thus far. Being on the move. Being prepared to move. It was like standing on a running treadmill. You could either stay put and face the consequences or keep moving and stay ahead of the issues.
I heard music turn on in the middle of the night and some laughter trickling down the vents into my room. Teddi and Austin were having a great time above me.
I flopped around until I really, really wanted a glass of water. Or a bottle. Just anything to get me hydrated. I stood and went to my door, squeaking it open slowly.
No one told me I had to stay in my room, but that was a sense I was getting. I should be settled for the evening. Rocket the dog was nowhere to be found, so I assumed she was with one of the family members. The young cat that Gaze and Pixie had claimed was theirs was on the couch and covered his eyes with his paws when I walked past him.
In the kitchen I had to open three different cabinets until I found some glasses. They were all special liquor glasses. Wine, rocks, beer glasses—they would suffice, but their normal cups weren’t in an obvious spot.
I went to the fridge and skipped the ice so I wouldn’ make a racket. When my glass was halfway full, a person lurking in the doorway caught my eye. I started and my hand jumped, the glass shooting up out of my hand. Teddi lurched forward and put out her hand. I did the same. I managed to get a grip on the glass as Teddi’s arm swung wildly and she poked me in the eye with her pinkie.
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