by Michael Todd
Katie chuckled. “No need. That didn’t really work out for Frankenstein anyway.”
Pandora nodded, thinking. She turned to Gabriel. “So, we need— Wait, where did he go?”
Katie and Pandora looked around the roof, but Gabriel was gone. Pandora growled and slammed her hand into her fist. “That sonofabitch! He gives us one clue and then poofs into thin air. If you have angel abilities, you need to learn how to poof.”
Katie sneered. “I don’t poof. Poofing isn’t my thing.”
“Poof down for some donuts real quick.”
“Poofing is not a thing I can do.”
Pandora frowned. “You didn’t even try.”
“I’m trying right now. See?” Katie squinted at her.
“That was a fart.”
“No poofing. End of discussion.”
Pandora shrugged. “Guess I might as well get back inside.”
Katie lifted her chin and stood still as Pandora climbed back inside of her. The tingle that ran through her body made everything hazy for a moment. She blinked her eyes several times, getting herself back together.
Pandora was irritated. He could have told us what kind of energy we need. It’s not like revealing this basic information will harm his good standing as an angel. He’s just being typical Gabriel, leading his fucking flock into a dead end and giving them half a ladder. Why not just say, “I don’t fucking know, you figure it out.”
He told us enough. Katie smiled and looked at the city again. Thank you. I needed this. I needed to feel like I had my feet underneath me again. After everything that’s happened, I was starting to feel like I had lost my touch. Without you, I would have been sitting here with two riddles.
Pandora yawned in Katie’s mind. I got your back, little sis. And let me just point out that without me, you wouldn’t have stellar tits, a perfect ass, and a tiny waistline. You would still be playing volleyball and dreaming of your future husband. Let’s just say I saved you from a lot of things.
Katie smiled. That is true, even if some days I feel like trading back. I would get bored, though.
Anyone would be bored without me. Now, everything has been revealed that will be, and you have some brain work to do. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be that helpful, and I’m incredibly tired.
Katie chuckled. She was not used to hearing that from Pandora. We have a good start. I’ll head back to the condo.
Pandora yawned again, sending pulses of sleepiness through Katie’s body. Good. I’m just going to curl up right here and take a nap. That jumping-out-of-bodies thing is not only creepy as fuck, but it’s exhausting.
With that, Katie spread her wings.
3
Baal ran his finger across a suspiciously shiny wall, and it came away covered in a translucent goop. He grimaced and wiped his finger on a small table covered with papers. The place was dark and smelled of mold. It was also at least twenty degrees colder than other parts of hell, which made it uncomfortable for him. Light flickered from candles set up all over the room, but it was still so dark he could barely see. He hated being there, and he hated having to converse with Beelzebub even more.
The place was far enough away from the center of hell to make the trip unbearable. On top of that, he had to deal with the bullshit of this demon. No matter how powerful he was, it didn’t mean he lavished himself in common sense. To Baal, he was just as wild-minded as T’Chezz had been, the only differences being that Beelzebub had confidence and feared no one. Sometimes he even thought the smooth-talking demon lacked the common sense to fear Lucifer.
“If you think I want to be here, you’re wrong,” Baal hollered into the dark, knowing the other demon was lurking in the shadows somewhere.
A deep laugh came from the right corner of the room. “Moloch’s little errand boy, how cute. I didn’t think I would see you again after last time.”
Baal wrinkled his nose. “Yes, well, I don’t have much choice in the matter. I’m supposed to stay behind the scenes.”
Beelzebub stepped out from the shadows, his large, crooked body shifting across the light. His long talons slapped on the stone ground, and a puff of acrid air oozed from his nostrils. “I always thought you and I would make a good team. Me in the front, you in the back.”
Baal looked at stacks of human books on one wobbly table. “Yes, well. Even standing in the background, I knew if I teamed up with you, I’d end up with something in the ass. I mean that both figuratively and literally. You are not known to be the most trustworthy of demons.”
Beelzebub snickered. “If trustworthy were what was needed in this realm and others we would be shit out of luck, don’t you think? No, demons don’t know the meaning of that. A trustworthy demon is an oxymoron, my friend.”
Baal shivered at the sound of the word “friend.” He was anything but friends with Beelzebub. In fact, given the chance, he would gladly take his head as a trophy and shove his soul into Moloch’s fireplace. Beelzebub, although he was a hermit of sorts, was highly respected within the confines of hell. He had the master’s ear and the rest of the demons by the ballsack. Baal wasn’t low man on the totem pole either, but he tended to work his magic in the background. His distaste for Beelzebub came from centuries of listening to him downplay his importance and abilities, only to step into situations when he wasn’t needed, take credit for other demons’ work, and bask in unearned glory.
He had overstepped throughout history, but until a few centuries ago no one, not even Lucifer, had stood up to him. Of course, Lucifer didn’t react out of fear; more brainwashing than anything else. Beelzebub was a smooth talker. He could sell lava to a hell-bound demon. He had played Lucifer, and the worst part was that Lucifer had no idea. He was oblivious to the chaos the demon had brought to the council and the eyes the smooth talker had for his throne. Beelzebub had always had desires far beyond his grasp.
Baal considered the human books. “Your problem is, you don’t know when to quit. You don’t know what it means to have friends. You had Lucifer’s ear for centuries, and now look at you, holed up in this cave, scraping across the floor and writing letters in the dark. I could barely read your letter because the blood you used to write it was old and clotted. I’m here for only one reason, and you’re not my concern. You’re the last demon I would call a friend.”
Beelzebub was smooth, and despite his drop in favor, he was still extraordinarily powerful. The demons feared him more than any other hell-denizen besides Lucifer, and even Baal felt nervous being alone with him in the caves. It wasn’t his size or even his demeanor. It was the underhanded ideas he had. It was his willingness to stab you in the back and leave you to take the fall for his mistakes. It was the competitiveness that glowed brighter than the demon-red in his eyes. There was little he could be trusted with, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do to make his dreams a reality. Baal was not pleased to be there talking to him, but he had little choice in the matter.
Beelzebub walked closer to him, holding a book in his paws. “So, you got my letter. I really was wondering if I was going to have to kill the messenger. I was expecting it to be either lost or taken directly to Lucifer.”
Baal snorted. “Yes, and I’m here to tell you it’s a terrible idea. You’re absolutely insane. To think that after all this time you would have the audacity to walk in on someone else’s plans and suggest the monstrosity you present. I didn’t even bring it up to Moloch because I didn’t want to stress him out. He’s not well.”
Beelzebub shrugged. “I thought you’d be happy to ride along. Why be a sidekick to that crippled fool when you could transfer to the winning team?”
Baal ignored the jab. “I’m telling you, it’s not a good idea. These aren’t angels we’re working with. These humans, and especially this Katie, won’t respond like you think. You do this, and there will be a reaction. And that will pique His interest.”
Beelzebub didn’t seem to be moved by the threat. “Please. Humans aren’t nearly as powerful as you give them
credit for, and Lucifer’s little ex-wife is nothing but a pest who needs to be exterminated. She will tire of these games and eventually find something else to amuse her. We’ve all seen her do it a thousand times. Katie isn’t nearly as strong of a threat as you think she is, especially without Pandora inside her.”
Baal crossed his arms. “I see you’ve been paying attention.”
Beelzebub sat down in an ancient armchair. “Of course, I have. What else do I have to do down here?”
Baal shook his head. “What you’re supposed to be doing is staying out of the way and not getting involved in this shit. Seriously, you’re going to get yourself in deep hell for doing anything to interfere.”
“So now you’re worried about me? You’re worried I’ll get in trouble? Be serious. You’re worried this will somehow come back on you. You received the letter, and you opened and read it. Your curiosity got the better of you, my dear Baal. Once you read it, you were obliged to come here and say something. If Lucifer found out you knew and didn’t attempt to change my mind, he would put you in your own little personal hell. And then what? You wouldn’t have your castle or your pets or even your little toy Moloch to play with. I swear, the two of you are like children on a playground. You don’t know which way your dicks are swinging, much less how to lead a charge.”
Baal narrowed his eyes. “We aren’t the ones exiled out here in the boonies. Please forgive me, but I enjoy having the things I’ve worked centuries for. I sure as hell am not going to let you come into the picture and ruin all of that for me. I’ve been in this business far too long to have the wool pulled over my eyes.”
Beelzebub smiled and looked Baal up and down. “Speaking of working for centuries, I heard that Moloch got a summons to the castle to see Lucifer. First time since all of this drama started.”
Baal grumbled. “Pandora and her freaks came to hell and made a huge mess of everything. Moloch got stuck in the middle of the battle trying to stop it and ended up in pieces. He hadn’t even regrown his leg yet when Lucifer summoned him. But so what? You don’t know what they spoke about or even where the conversation was aimed.”
Beelzebub opened his book and set his paws in his lap. “We both know where that conversation was aimed. Which, to me, indicates a probable new seat opening up. Those who respond to the human threat appropriately will have a chance to move up. You do know I was never relieved of my chair.”
Baal blinked at him. “It’s going to be your funeral, at which I will dance joyfully and drink myself into a stupor. What I’ll do on your grave won’t pass for flowers. I’ve given you my advice, and it’s obvious you have no intention of taking it. You’re not even listening to what I have to say. I’m not sure why you thought to write to me. You had to know I wouldn’t be interested in working with you. Was it just a ploy to get back at me for still living my life while you’re stuck down here in this cage?”
Beelzebub chuckled. “Perhaps partially.”
Baal balled his fists. “Do I need to remind you that you got kicked off the table centuries ago for your last act of stupidity? You’re going to fail again, spectacularly. I can’t wait to watch. I gave you my advice, so you do with it what you will. Just do me a favor and stop contacting me. I will not have any part in this. Lucifer isn’t taking down Moloch, not for this. He’ll return in one or two pieces, and we’ll go from there. If you want to risk what little life you have left on this stunt, be my guest.”
Beelzebub held the book open so Baal could see the picture. It was Beelzebub in his younger years, standing next to some of the highest-ranking officials in hell’s history. “I’m the only one left out of all of them. If Lucifer didn’t want me to step in at times, he would have killed me like he did the others. That, or buried me deep within the rings of hell. Instead, he put me here with the freedom to come and go as I please. It has been centuries since I was removed, but I assure you, the lord of hell still pleads for my advice.”
Baal did his best not to laugh in the crooked demon’s face. “I think you might be mistaken. Lucifer needs no one’s advice. He’s a self-made demon. He does what he wants to do when he wants to do it. Your whispers may be encouraged, but he’s only keeping tabs on you. In the old days, I believe he went soft on you to appease the council, mostly those who weren’t happy with his temper tantrums when he ripped the other demons apart. He may be the ruler, but he knows some semblance of order and respect are needed, even in hell. You were lucky. That is the point.”
Beelzebub slammed his book shut. “Then I guess this conversation is over. You’re showing me that you never grew out of being the spoiled little demon you were many years ago. Let me be clear about something: I didn’t need your help with my plans. I just figured it might give you the chance to claim a more prestigious seat at the table. After all, you have a squeaky-clean record and are always available. Surely, the master knows this. This could be your moment in the spotlight.”
Baal chuckled. “The kind of spotlight I’m looking for doesn’t come from doing stupid shit. It comes from careful planning and intense amounts of focus. You think this is something that comes easily? You think screaming from the rooftops will give you a forever seat? No one is guaranteed anything, in this dimension or any other. I thought you learned that lesson long ago when you scrambled for power. You’ve lost that power now, and you’re thirsting for it. I, on the other hand, know how to control my cravings. I bid you a good day, Beelzebub. Please think about what I’ve said.”
Baal started to walk back the way he came but stopped when Beelzebub called out to him. “The spoils go to the bold, Baal. I think all those delicacies you gorge yourself on have made you soft. Perhaps you’ve realized that hell isn’t meant for the weak. You must be strong. Vicious. Simple survival is not an option. You must either thrive or wither. Right now, we are surviving, and that is all. The master makes sure no one gets too big to understand he’s in control, no matter what.”
Baal turned back to him. “I’m very aware that the master will forever be in control. There’s more than one way to skin a cat, Mr. Beelzebub. Survival is only good if you can keep it up for an eternity. From the looks of this place, you may not last the week. You’re two steps away from being an angry human cat lady.”
Beelzebub laughed and slid his book back onto the shelf. “The days are long here in hell, Baal. They will be even longer with me above you on the council. You might want to rethink your position on my plans. Those kittens, guinea pigs, and gourmet meals are turning your brain to mush, I think.”
Baal watched Beelzebub as he yawned and disappeared into the darkness. Baal turned around with tight shoulders and clenched fists. “And I think your stupidity has reached its zenith. I’m going to say I told you so, and I’m going to enjoy it more than anything I’ve enjoyed in a very long time.”
Baal rubbed his hands together and stepped into the darkness, disappearing from the old dripping cave on the outskirts of hell. From the corner in the darkness, two red eyes flashed brightly, and the same maniacal laugh echoed through the space. Beelzebub rubbed his claws over each other and stepped back out into the candlelight. “You will come back, and if you don’t, I’ll make sure you never have a position again.”
4
The condo had been quieter than normal since the battle in hell. The lack of Juntto’s presence had a lot to do with that silence. Angie wasn’t herself. She was moping around, constantly worried. She barely spoke if Katie didn’t push her for conversation. Everything had changed, but Katie knew it was only temporary. The lives of those in Katie’s Killers were always changing, but in the end, they were still the same group who watched endless hours of superhero movies and devoured box upon box of donuts.
Katie grabbed her bag out of the closet and set it down on the bed, looking at all the things she had laid out to pack. She started by putting her weapons carefully in the bottom, at least the ones she wasn’t going to be wearing. She was always armed, something she’d learned was a necessity. She never knew when
something would go south.
Behind Katie, Angie propped herself in the doorway, crossing her arms on her chest. She was wearing a warm sweater and leggings with boots. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and her eyes were dark and heavy. “You going somewhere again? I didn’t hear any calls about portals or incursions.”
Katie put one of her knives in a sheath and set it in the bag before sitting down on the bed. She smiled at Angie, noticing how tired and worn she really looked. “No incursion at the moment. I spoke to Gabriel last night, and he gave me a clue about how to bring Juntto out of his coma.”
Angie’s eyes lit up and she walked forward. “How?”
Katie hated to get her hopes up. “He said Juntto needs some sort of jolt of energy. He didn’t say what kind. Gabriel called him the ‘Energizer Bunny.’”
Angie chuckled, looking down at her hands. “He keeps going, that’s for sure. Even as an ice cube in the meat locker, he’s still making us run around for him.”
Katie smiled and put her hand on Angie’s. “I know this is hard on you. I know things didn’t turn out how you wanted.”
Angie shook her head, sniffling. “At least he’s alive, and there’s a chance we can get him back to where he used to be. This isn’t necessarily the final word, you know?”
Katie nodded. “That’s right, it’s not. He’s in some type of weird coma. We aren’t sure how he got into it, but we’re going to find a way to get him out of it.”
Angie let out a sigh. “Where are you going to look for this mystery energy?”
Katie started packing her clothes and toiletries. “Where else? The old countries. I’m sure they had this shit when Juntto was walking around back in the day. Now, we seem to have stopped selling the stuff. Gabriel gave me the hint, and unless he’s lost it, the hint has to lead to something.”
“What brought him back this last time?” Angie asked.