by Lea Coll
“Okay.” Did he plan to ask me for a ride or did he keep his helmet here for other women?
“Luke has a helmet for Emma. They rode one time but she didn’t like it. I brought it with me because I was hoping you’d say yes.”
“Oh.” He’d planned to give me a ride and specifically brought me a helmet. Then he smiled, but I couldn’t forget his hands on Cindy’s calf. “Is Cindy going to be okay?” I tried to keep the bite out of my voice but was unsuccessful.
“Yeah, probably just a sore muscle. She’ll be fine in a day or two. She said she injured herself at a party last night.”
“That happens,” I said, remembering my own wild days in college. Getting too drunk and smacking my head on something or falling down the stairs. Maybe she really was injured and I was overreacting. But then why come to practice? Why not go directly to the physical trainer? Unless she wanted Sawyer’s hands on her.
“Let me get back to coaching. We should be done in,” he checked his phone, “about thirty minutes.”
I smiled. “I’ll be here.” The rest of the practice went smoothly, as far as I could tell. I had no idea what rowing actually involved besides strength training and practicing your sweeps which I assumed was the way they used their oars, including timing, technique, etc. The rowers had to be completely in sync for the boat to move the way they wanted it to in a race. That seemed to be the hardest part. Cindy was gone so I didn’t feel the need to watch practice as closely and I could relax.
I checked the paper’s social media page to see the numerous posts about online dating horror stories. Someone private messaged me about their experience meeting a man at his house and how he’d had porn on the TV, which made me feel a little sick. It was definitely not something I could print and I was grateful I wasn’t online dating anymore.
“Ready to go?” asked Sawyer in a low gravely voice. I looked up to find him standing there with a helmet in his hand.
“Yes.” I stood taking his hand to help me down the bleachers. I’d never ridden before and I didn’t think I would have agreed to get on the bike, had I not trusted Sawyer. Looking around, I saw that the team had already secured the boats on racks and was walking up the steps to the boathouse. “I didn’t even realize you were done with practice.”
“You seemed pretty engrossed in your phone, so I went to my office to grab the extra helmet and lock up.”
“I was checking the paper’s social media site. I asked for online dating stories and I got a ton of responses.” We slowly made our way to the gravel lot, coming to stand next to his black chrome bike. “Honestly, some of the stories were horrifying.”
“Are you glad you aren’t doing that online dating anymore?” Then he settled the helmet over my hair, tucking my long red curls underneath it as best he could.
“I am.” Grinning, I added, “I’m glad you saved me from that.” No matter what happens I couldn’t regret Sawyer, even though crying in his office the other day and baring myself to him had left me feeling especially vulnerable. The way Sawyer and I were together was not something I’d ever experienced before. I was on the cusp of something new and exciting.
“Are you ready?” he asked, strapping on his own helmet, which only made him look sexier.
“Yeah.” Definitely. Even though I’d never done it before I was always up for an adventure. “Where are we riding to?”
“I want to show you something.” Sawyer swung his leg over the bike to get on and held his hand out for me to climb on the back.
“That sounds nice.” And it did. Something pinged in my heart. He wanted to show me something important to him. He might have not answered me directly when I asked how he felt about me the other night but every action he’d taken since seemed like a step forward in a relationship with me.
I wrapped my arms around his waist, very aware of my breasts pressed tightly to his back and my legs gripping his. Then he turned on the bike and the vibrations shot straight through my core. “Hopefully we’re not going too far,” I shouted over the roar of the bike.
His hand covered mine and he shouted over his shoulder. “Why, you don’t like it?”
“I like it a little too much and we’ve haven’t gone anywhere yet.” I winked when he turned his head to look at me so he’d get my meaning.
Chuckling, he removed his hand from mine and gripped the handlebar. My breath caught because I did trust Sawyer with my body, but did I trust him the way I should? My mind went back to Cindy’s hand on his arm and Sawyer’s fingers on her calf and I reminded myself it was purely a coach examining a team member until the trainer could arrive. Nothing more.
He rode through the streets of Chestertown at a leisurely pace. I squeezed my arms around him tighter when he picked up speed driving past the firehouse and out of town. The roads on the Eastern Shore were generally flat and it was nothing but miles of green grass, tall trees, and farms. The wind blew my hair and made the air feel cooler than when I was watching practice in the stands. The experience was exhilarating and I loved that I was experiencing this for the first time with Sawyer.
As beautiful as the scenery was, as amazing the last few days with Sawyer had been, somehow I knew this could be my last quiet moment with Sawyer and I wanted to make it last. I knew this bet could be the beginning of the end of us even if it was a harmless joke.
But the vibrations under me and his proximity made my muscles tense as my thoughts turned to the memory of his hands on my body. I wanted him now and I wanted the distraction from my thoughts, the bet, everything. As if Sawyer sensed my thoughts, he slowly drove down a small beaten path and stopped at a stream. The path was so smooth it was like he’d come here often. When he turned off the bike, I asked, “What is this?”
“A little plot of land our family owns. Since Luke got the farmhouse, I’m going to build a house here when I have a family.”
The land by the road was a flat field and the backyard was the woods and stream. I closed my eyes to envision it. It had everything you’d want if you were building a life, a family, with someone. I wanted to be part of his vision more than anything. I opened my eyes, seeing the light filter through the leaves, the wind rustling the branches. When I stood to get off the bike to explore, Sawyer tugged me until I fell sideways onto the bike in front of him. His feet on either side of the bike to balance us, his hands went to my head as his lips crashed into mine. We kissed until I forgot where we were, the awkwardness of my position on the bike, and the bet.
“Here?” I managed between kisses. I was lost in the reverent way he touched me, the slow exploration of his lips, but I wasn’t sure the woods was the best place to continue this.
“No.” Sawyer looked around. “I didn’t bring a blanket.” Then quieter, “Want to head back?”
I was throbbing with need at this point. “Yes.”
I moved to my original position behind him on the bike before he started it. “It’s beautiful here, Sawyer.” The fact that he showed me this place, which was special, gave me a glimpse of him. I wanted more of these moments, more of this feeling.
“It is. I come here often just to think.”
I could hear his unspoken thoughts. To dream about my future.
“As nice as it is to live close to campus, this is where I want to end up. I just need to make sure I get tenure. I can’t imagine living anywhere else.” And I knew he’d never told anyone else this or brought them to this spot. I knew that in the marrow of my being. What he’d just given me was special. Any story printed by the paper could destroy Sawyer’s dream to build a home here, to live hear near his family and friends, to make a life.
I wanted him to have his dream. I didn’t want him to leave. Not now. Not when I’d never felt closer to someone even if it scared me.
He revved the engine and drove the bike back to the road and toward town.
He finally pulled into the deserted gravel lot of the boathouse and parked next to my SUV. I stepped off the bike and unstrapped the helmet, letting my hair
shake down my back. His eyes darkened watching me. Then he secured the helmets and grabbed my hand, setting a quick pace toward the boathouse.
He used his keys to open the door and closed and locked it behind us. “No one should come in but let’s go to my office just in case.”
I followed him past the lounge and down the hallway, not needing to ask what he was talking about, because I knew he was just as affected by that ride as I was. I still felt the vibrations of the bike between my legs. He locked the office door behind us before backing me against the wall, his arms on either side of my head. “I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so worked up on my bike before.”
“I guess that depends on how many women you’ve had on your bike,” I said softly. He’d said the helmet was Emma’s but I couldn’t stop the doubts.
“You. Only you.” Then his mouth was on mine, his hands under my dress, dragging it up my legs, over my hips, my side until he was cupping my breasts through the lace bra. Whimpering into his mouth as he pulled the lace down to palm my breast, I felt like something had changed for him. I could see it in his eyes, feel it in his touch. Taking me to his property, revealing his dream to me. He’d let me in. The thought had me shaky and light-headed.
He pulled his lips from mine to pull my dress up and over my head so I was standing in only a black thong and my bra pulled down to expose my breasts. He reached around to unhook the clasp of my bra.
“You’re so fucking beautiful like this.” He was so open at that moment. I briefly closed my eyes at the raw emotion I saw in his. Then I tugged his shirt over his head and his hands went to my shoulders where he slowly turned me to face the wall. Uncertain, I glanced at him over my shoulder, but his hands smoothed down my arms and over my hands placing them gently on the wall. Then his hands were on my hips maneuvering me until I stood, hands on the wall with my ass sticking out. Then he slowly pulled my thong over my hips and down my legs. I stepped out of them as I heard the zipper on his pants slide down and him shrugging his pants off with his shoes.
I’d never felt more exposed, more vulnerable than I did in this position, until his hand finally touched me where I needed him the most.
“What do you need?” he asked quietly.
I had this burning need to have his cock inside me. “You. I need you.” Only you. I’d never been so bold to tell a man exactly what I wanted. But something about that motorcycle ride, what he’d revealed to me, made me desperate for him. As close as he was, I worried he was already slipping away from me. As he entered me, all I wanted was to enjoy this moment because I wasn’t sure if it would be our last.
I squeezed my eyes shut to keep myself in the moment as he thrust into me. His hand circled my clit and I bit my lip to hold off the rapidly building orgasm. I spread my legs more, arching my ass and pushing back into him to meet him thrust for thrust.
I was lost in the sensation of how deep he felt in this position and the slap of his balls against my thighs when he bottomed out inside me. I wanted to grab him and hold him to me, but the orgasm rushed over me before I could. I sagged against the wall as he thrust a few more times, groaning his release as he draped himself over my back. I could feel his rough breaths on my skin and his arm banded around my stomach, holding me up. Every sensation, every emotion was too much. I was overwhelmed with what he’d shared with me, what we’d just experienced.
The moment was so hot and real. He stood, bringing me with him.
I turned to face him. “I didn’t know you had that in you,” I joked, trying to break the seriousness of what we’d just experienced.
“I’m full of surprises.” He stood there naked and beautiful. I allowed my eyes to take him in from his broad shoulders down his tapered waist to his strong muscular legs. “Stella,” he said, my name a warning. “If you keep looking at me like that—”
I wanted him to finish that sentence to fulfill the promise in his words, his eyes, but at the same time, I felt this overwhelming desire to run. “I’d better get cleaned up.” Then I felt his cum drip from me as a roaring began inside my head. We hadn’t used a condom. I had an IUD but I couldn’t help wondering if he was clean. If he was safe? Turning my face from his, my heart raced, my breathing sped up, and panic overcame me. I couldn’t trust any man I was with. Even if I thought Sawyer was different, I still needed to protect myself.
Sawyer ran his hands through his hair as he seemed to realize what I already had. “Sorry, I forgot a condom. I got caught up in the moment, but I’m clean.”
“I am too,” I said quietly. “We’re exclusive right?” I swallowed hard trying to slow the rising panic.
“Of course.” His eyes searched mine.
“Good.” I kept my face blank so he wouldn’t know what I was thinking. Somehow I knew he’d be hurt if he thought I didn’t trust his words. At this point in the relationship, wasn’t I supposed to? I trusted him to keep me safe on the bike, but did I believe him when he said he’d only been with me?
My mind flashed to his hands on Cindy’s leg and her hand squeezing his arm during practice. Why would he want me when he could have her? Feeling self-conscious, I quickly grabbed my clothes from the floor, throwing my dress over my head and slipping my feet into my shoes. “Bathroom?” I asked him.
“Through there.” He gestured to a different door I hadn’t noticed before.
“Nice, I didn’t realize you had a private bathroom.” I smiled to cover up the panic coursing through my body. As soon as the door shut behind me, I closed my eyes, bracing my shaking hands on the sink. I needed to clean up and calm down. I couldn’t let him know my doubts. I needed to be cool. Guys freaked out when you got too serious, too clingy. I could do this. I could be the easy breezy girlfriend he needed. I just needed to act the part, which I could do even though I’d never been successful at it in the past. Repeating the mantra to myself, I cleaned up, washed my hands, and splashed some water on my face.
When I emerged from the bathroom, Sawyer was fully dressed and turned from his position in front of the window with his hands in his pockets. “Everything okay?”
I realized I must have been in the bathroom for a while. “Of course.” Then I gestured over my shoulder. “I should go.” Sawyer raised his brows in surprise, but I wasn’t sure what I should do. I felt too exposed after what we’d shared and I didn’t want him to know how badly forgetting that condom shook me up. How was I so in the moment I forgot to protect myself?
“Oh, okay. I should probably grade some papers tonight anyway.” His concerned eyes were on mine. I knew he was giving me space I needed.
I smiled, my lips pressed tightly together, hoping he wouldn’t see through me. I needed time to process how raw I felt after we’d been so intimate, with nothing between us. And I couldn’t forget about the bet and my involvement in the investigation. If I wanted a man to be honest, I had to be the same and right now, I wasn’t being honest with him. I had to get out of here before every single thought I was having was broadcast on my face.
He studied me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Oh, absolutely. I’m a little stunned from that awesome sex we just had.” My voice was bright and loud, but my words sounded cheesy even to my own ears. Why did I always sound like an idiot when I was nervous around him?
“Let me walk you out then,” he said taking a few steps to the door.
“I can walk myself out. I’m sure you have some things to do yet.” I wanted—no I needed—space to process what just happened.
“I do need to fill out some paperwork since one of my team members was injured.”
I placed a hand on his chest, going up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “Goodnight Sawyer. I’ll see you later.”
“Night, Stella.” I could feel his eyes on me as I walked out. I couldn’t believe I’d fucked Sawyer without a condom. That required a level of trust I didn’t have with him or anyone. I wasn’t sure what had me running faster—forgetting the condom or the realization that what I just experienced with Sawyer w
as more than sex.
“Are you fucking Dr. Hudson?” a female voice asked.
I almost tripped down the boathouse steps at the crude words. I looked up to see Cindy Young at the bottom of the steps.
“Well, he’s not my teacher so it’s Sawyer to me.” I was aware that my hair probably did look like I’d been fucked against a wall and my dress was surely wrinkled from where it had been thrown on the floor, but I was not going to let this twenty-something girl get the best of me.
“I have to go talk to Dr. Hudson about my injury.”
I lowered my voice even though the gravel parking lot was deserted. “Did Dr. Mason dump you? Is that why you have your sights set on Sawyer?”
She laughed but there was no humor in it. “Dr. Mason? I’m not desperate enough to fuck him. He’s way too old.”
I was pretty sure he was only late twenties or early thirties, but I tried not to be offended. “A little upset he dumped you?”
She snorted. “As if. I can have anyone I want.”
And maybe that was the issue. She was so used to getting any boy she wanted that when she set her sights on Owen Mason, she was completely out of her league. He’d been playing women since she was in middle school. Normally, I wouldn’t criticize a woman for being dumped, but this girl was after my man and I wouldn’t let him go without a fight. I let all of the anger out on Cindy I’d felt for my exes who’d cheated on me and the women they’d cheated on me with. My lips curled in disgust. “I’d be careful if I were you. When word about your bet makes its way to the proper channels on campus you could get in trouble too.”
Her face was cool, calm and collected. “What bet?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. What everyone on Sorority Row is talking about.” Then I pointed at her. “Stay away from Sawyer Hudson. He’s your coach and nothing else.” I sounded more confident than I felt and she must have sensed that.
“Are you sure he’s yours?” She smiled triumphantly as if she knew all of my darkest fears. That Sawyer wasn’t really and truly mine. He was only mine for now or until he got bored of me, which was only a matter of time. The strong walls I’d erected against this girl crumbled at the first suggestion Sawyer would leave me the way all the others had.