Sugar Plum

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Sugar Plum Page 2

by Reginald Bretnor

needn't worry."

  Cousin Aurelia paled. She started to sway. Then, perhaps recalling theuncarpeted deck, she recovered and looked haughty instead.

  "I am going right back to my cabin," she proclaimed, and stalked off thebridge.

  "Cousin Aurelia is very genteel," Betty snapped at the captain. "You hadno right to insult her. Besides, she's only twenty pounds overweight."

  "Don't mind me. I go for her type." Possett shook his head darkly andturned toward Charles. "Button, man to man, a back-country planet's noplace for the ladies. Look, I'll take the thing off your hands. I canhandle Burgee. Twelve thousand cold cash for your stuff and the deed,and I'll throw in a lift to New Texas. There's a liner from there."

  Charles thought of the comfortable Earth and was tempted. "But I paidthirty-five," he protested uncertainly. "I mean, twelve is--"

  "Take it or leave it. I'm trying to do you a favor."

  "No, I guess we'll leave it," answered Betty.

  Charles looked around in surprise. Her lips were compressed, her blueeyes narrowed with astonishing determination.

  "We've come all this way," she declared, "so we might as well keep it. Ithink it has--well, possibilities. We've had the whole house done overand the servants remodeled. And we'll have all the DoItAllservices--teleprojection, medical care, and everything else--from theNew Texas substation. I'm sure we'll get along nicely."

  The skipper of the _Beautiful Joe_ wasn't pleased. "It's your necks.Don't be blaming me for what happens," he growled. "Well, where do youwant to set down?"

  "Set down?" gulped Charles. "R-right now?"

  "Land and unload, it says in the contract. I ain't got all day. I'lldump you at Burgee's old landing, load up with fresh water, and blastoff for New Texas."

  Charles had no other spot in mind.

  "Okay," Possett said to the two robot crewmen at the main controls,"take her down."

  * * * * *

  At the waterfall's edge, flowering trees twisted their roots in thecliffside, and a fresh wind scattered plumes of its spray through theirleaves. Taller trees, bell-blossomed, fanned out from the pool, gave wayto a meadow, and followed the course of the stream down a broadeningvalley--among faceted boulders of translucent quartz, rose-pink, green,and golden, sheltering small, lustrous spires of fragile fungi.

  On the meadow stood the house, the latest in Second Victorian, completewith carved plastic false-front in early Schenectady Gothic. The Buttonsthemselves, with Cousin Aurelia, stood in front of it. They wore longlinen dusters and sun helmets with heavy mosquito veils. They were goingexploring.

  Cousin Aurelia was sputtering: "Do you know what he said when he left?'Kid, you come along with Mike Possett. You don't want no part of thatplanet. I'll show you a ripsnorting time!' Then he gave me a lookthat--that was positively _lecherous_." She shuddered. "At least we'llhave no more of that nonsense. Your planet is uninhabited."

  Betty looked worried. "I've the funniest feeling," she said. "As ifsomeone was watching."

  "That's absurd!" snapped Cousin Aurelia. "You must be imagin--" Shestopped in her tracks. "Wh-what's _that_?"

  They looked. A large, soft, fuzzy beast had come out from under thetrees. It was reddish and had very big feet. It blinked at thembrightly, climbed a transparent green rock, and started to whistle, nottoo tunefully, through its long Roman nose.

  Almost instantly, another emerged, a size smaller. Lowering its eyelidscoquettishly, it began clapping its forepaws.

  "Charles, they must be the 'critters' Burgee mentioned in thatcatalogue. Remember? I'm sure they're perfectly harmless."

  Two more animals appeared and made for a rock of their own. And thenthere were, suddenly, dozens--all around the edge of the meadow. Thesewere petite, creamy, with lavender ears. They came bounding forward inpairs, sat up and regarded the Buttons solemnly.

  Charles began to relax. Somehow, Sugar Plum didn't seem half so enormousany longer, now that they weren't so alone.

  "I wonder if they could be tamed." Betty was wistful.

  "They're certain to be just full of fleas," sniffed Cousin Aurelia.

  The creatures were playful. As the Buttons walked over the meadow, theyfrolicked around them--

  But they also were very affectionate. As they frolicked, they flirted.Every once in a while, each pair would pause to rub noses, to murmurseductively, to nip one another.

  At first, Cousin Aurelia tried to pretend they weren't there. Butfinally she halted. "Charles Edward Button, I won't go a step farthertill you drive those nasty things away. It's disgraceful. They're apt todo--anything!"

  Charles flushed under his netting. "Shoo!" he said ineffectively. "Beatit!"

  There was a swift patter of feet straight ahead and a figure flashedinto view. She was slim. She was small, with a girdle and headdress offeathers. Her skin was sky-blue, and her ears were pointed, and her eyeswere simply enormous. But she looked distressingly human.

  In an instant, she vanished. As the Buttons stood there goggling, theyheard more running footsteps, somewhat heavier, and a scuffle, a giggle,a clear, tenor laugh, and then silence.

  "Why, that was a girl!" Betty gasped.

  "She was being pursued!" Charles exclaimed. "He--he caught her!"

  "Oooh!" moaned Cousin Aurelia, covering her eyes. "Charles, how _could_you? Enticing us here, saying it was uninhabited!"

  Then, before Charles could find a reply:

  "Unin_hab_ited?" chuckled a deep male voice right behind them. "Itcertainly isn't. It's just unin_hib_ited!"

  * * * * *

  Slowly, the Buttons turned around. There, by an odd square tree, stood aman even bigger than Possett, smoking a pipe. He was middle-aged. Hewore a heavy brown beard, khaki shorts, a deep coat of tan, and aself-possessed smile.

  He bowed. "Burgee is my name--Space Captain Alexander Burgee. Glad tomake your acquaintance."

  "It's him!" screamed Cousin Aurelia. "And he's practically naked!" Shepointed a cotton-gloved finger, began backing away. "You fiend, don'tyou come any nearer. Don't you _touch_ me!"

  The captain looked very surprised. "Why would I want to?"

  Her voice reached a new high and clung there. "You--you libertine! Youmay lead a riotous life with these natives, but you won't work your willon me. I'll lock myself in till the police can come from New Texas!"

  And, tripping and stumbling over her duster, she fled.

  As the door banged behind her, the captain nudged a large beast off anearby rock, and sat down. "I can see that Earth hasn't changed," heremarked. "You tourists still seem to have the daffiest notions." Hesounded quite hurt. "Look, these natives are nice little people. They'reharmless. I call 'em my Sugar Plum pixies, and sometimes we grin at eachother. But that's all. They aren't much past the animal stage. Besides,they lay eggs. Oh, well--" he shrugged as the Buttons exchanged knowinglooks--"I have plenty of room at the house and I guess you'll bepermanent guests, so welcome to Sugar Plum, anyway."

  Betty said angrily, "Sugar Plum's ours. You didn't pay taxes and theysold it at auction. Charles has the deed in his pocket."

  "You poor, dumb kids!" The captain seemed really concerned. "You boughtsome fool bureaucrats error. I'm paid up in advance. Come on down, youcan see the receipt."

  "Aren't you clever?" said Betty scornfully. "Well, you won't trap us aseasily as that. We don't need you or your house."

  "You just might want something to eat, or a hot, soapy shower, or atight roof over you when it rains."

  The Buttons smiled triumphantly. They had their own house, with aDoItAll to do everything for them.

  "You can leave us alone, Mr. Pirate Burgee. Captain Possett told us yourwhole horrible story, and Cousin Aurelia is calling the police rightthis minute."

  "Possett?" The captain's face twitched. "Mike Possett, of the _BeautifulJoe_?"

  "That's right." Charles felt very superior. "Now you beat it before--"

  He didn't finish. From the house came a loud, anguis
hed cry.

  They whirled.

  Cousin Aurelia, disheveled without helmet or duster, was almost uponthem.

  "Charles! It won't work!"

  She reached him, threw her arms round his neck and hung on.

  "I can't turn the servants on, or the teleprojection, or even the keysto the closets. Oh, Charles, we'll have nothing to eat, or to drink,

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