She set her fork down again as she listened to him with her full attention.
“When Shannon had troubles at home, it seemed so natural to step in. To take over. I guess it’s easier for me to take care of people than…”
He couldn’t bring himself to finish. He didn’t know how to finish.
She nodded. “I think I get it. It’s easier for you to play the role of caretaker and protector than to just love and let yourself be loved in return.”
He stared at her. How did she do that? “It’s what I’m used to,” he said, his voice gravelly and raw. “But when I meet the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, I want it to be real.”
She nodded. “I get it.” Her laugh was rueful. “Believe me, I get it.” She tilted her head to the side. “Do you think we’ll ever find that?”
He smiled in return. It wasn’t an answer, but he didn’t quite trust himself to open his mouth. If he did, the truth might come out.
He was fairly certain he already had.
Chapter Ten
Katy wasn’t sure she’d ever had a conversation with someone that was at once the most entertaining, lighthearted, fun she’d ever had…and also the most intimate, the most heartwrenching, the most soul-bearing.
She certainly hadn’t experienced anything like it while on a date.
Once dessert arrived at their table, the conversation turned back to lighter topics, though she couldn’t quite shake the feeling that the deep-seated fears and wants she’d accidentally uncovered while talking to Dax wouldn’t just fade back into the background.
But she needed time to process, time to think it through and figure out what to do with these new insights.
These new emotions.
This trip to Montana was supposed to have been about work, nothing else. It was supposed to be a duty, an assignment—one she grit her teeth and got through.
It wasn’t supposed to be fun. It definitely wasn’t supposed to be life-altering. And she sure as heck wasn’t supposed to be having eye-opening, soul-searching conversations with a cowboy who was quickly becoming as necessary in her life as water and air.
As dinner wrapped up and Dax paid the bill, she reminded herself of their earlier agreement. They were supposed to be enjoying this rare connection while this trip lasted. That was it.
She’d have all the time in the world to explore these new realizations and emotions once she was back in LA.
The thought of leaving filled her with dread. It was ridiculous but true. She needed more time. Maybe with a little more time she’d have this all sorted. Maybe Dax would be out of her system by then.
Yeah right.
She ignored that voice and then forgot about it all together as Dax helped her out of her seat. Her initial reaction was to get huffy.
She didn’t need help getting out of her chair, for mercy’s sake. But she just couldn’t find it within herself to get irritated. She was starting to recognize that Dax’s old-fashioned ways had nothing to do with backwards, chauvinistic thinking and everything to do with being raised to be a polite gentleman.
There was a difference and, sadly, she just wasn’t used to seeing the latter in action out in the real world. She’d actually started to think that sort of behavior only existed in old movies.
Old movies and Lulu, Montana, she thought with a grin.
“What’s so funny?” he asked as he held the door open for her. She shook her head. “Nothing. Just happy.”
“It looks good on you,” he said. He’d leaned down a bit to say it close to her ear. He’d done it so the people passing by them to get into the restaurant wouldn’t hear, but the effect was still heady. She’d felt his breath on her neck and a shiver ran through her as the deep timbre of his voice reverberated through her.
Wow. She would happily curl up on her sofa and listen to this man read the phone book. She wondered if anyone had ever talked to him about narrating audiobooks. He would make a killer narrator for a steamy cowboy romance.
She giggled at the image in her head of an actual cowboy narrating a cowboy romance. He didn’t ask her what she was laughing about this time, but he gave her cute grin as he reached for her hand.
It was too easy. That was about the millionth time she’d had that thought, but it was true. It was just too easy with Dax. Holding hands had never felt so natural. Talking about intense emotional baggage had never been so effortless. Seeing someone for who he really was had never been so instinctual.
After a moment she realized he was steering her away from the truck, through town once more. But he seemed to have a mission.
“Where are we heading?” she asked.
He turned back with a grin. “You’ll see.”
Soon enough she did see. He led her off Main Street and through some side streets before it opened up to a clearing where hundreds of people were lying out on blankets or talking in groups.
It clicked once she saw some kids run past with sparklers. “Fireworks?”
He nodded. “It’s a Lulu tradition. Claire’s mother runs it.” He shook his head as he led her toward the center, giving a small wave or nod of greeting when people called his name.
She was suddenly incredibly aware of the fact that everyone here knew Dax. Not only that, but he was clearly beloved. She’d thought that earlier when they were walking Main Street. She knew she’d been right that most of the interest in her had to do with the fact that she was there with him. With everyone’s favorite hometown cowboy. The man who stayed to take care of his sister and his family’s land.
She felt a surge of emotion that she couldn’t quite explain as she let him lead her to a clear spot, where a couple of lawn chairs were waiting for them. It was a bittersweet feeling of pride at being with this solid, dependable, beloved man and a little heartache at knowing that he wasn’t hers to keep.
Dax gestured for her to take one of the seats. “My lady,” he said with a flourish as he pulled a blanket from a stack of goodies she hadn’t seen beside the chairs.
She gaped at the seating setup for a moment. “Where did this come from? I’ve been with you pretty much all day.”
“I have my ways.” His grin was wicked and delicious. This was an entirely new side of him, one she had a feeling most didn’t see.
She loved it. Playful and mischievous, flirtatious and intimate. This was a side of him only a woman he was in a relationship would see.
Or a woman he was dating for one holiday weekend.
She held back a sigh and forced a smile as she sank into the lawn seat. She found herself blushing when he draped the cozy blanket over her bare legs. She wasn’t embarrassed by the display of affection or even irritated at being spoiled. It was just so new. This feeling of being taken care of…but in a good way. There was nothing condescending or controlling about Dax.
Sure he might be old-fashioned but she never once felt like he doubted her competence or wanted to have some sort of power over her. The lucky woman who ended up with Dax would be an equal partner—cherished and respected. That woman would never have to doubt his fidelity or his honor, that was for sure. And she wouldn’t have to fear that he would try and steal her independence to compensate for some sort of overdeveloped male ego.
This time she did sigh and Dax, who’d just sat beside her, leaned over. “Is everything okay?”
Her smile was genuine as she leaned forward too so their noses were nearly touching. “I was just thinking that you are quite possibly too good to be true.”
He widened his eyes in surprise before bursting into laughter. “I doubt that, but if you could say something to that effect to my siblings, I’d be much obliged.”
She laughed too. “Speaking of your siblings…” She caught sight of Cole and Claire a short distance away watching them with encouraging smiles.
Dax looked too and rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine. My secret is out. I called ahead and asked Cole to give me a hand setting up while you and I were at dinner.”
“That was
nice of him,” she said.
“That’s what family’s for.” He said it so quickly, so easily, she knew it was something he said often. Probably something they’d all grown up saying.
“You’re lucky, you know that?”
He must have heard the seriousness beneath her light tone because his gaze met hers straight on and he turned serious. “I know that.”
“I don’t have any siblings,” she said. “I often wonder if maybe I would have turned out differently if I did.” Like maybe her father wouldn’t have been so crazy controlling and maybe she would have had people around her to help navigate the dating world so she didn’t end up with someone exactly like her father.
He studied her expression. “I often wonder how different I’d be if my parents hadn’t died when they had.” He gave a little shrug. “I wonder how different we’d all be, me, Cole, and Alice.”
She nodded. “Well, from where I’m sitting, you three turned out pretty darn well.”
Their gazes locked for so long that she forgot what they were talking about. She forgot where they were and what they were doing. They could have been sitting anywhere and talking about anything. All of it was secondary to this overwhelming feeling of rightness.
This feeling of belonging, of being home for the first time in her life, this feeling had nothing to do with Lulu but everything to do with this man.
The sound of the first fireworks finally interrupted their gazing and hand-holding, and brought her back to the moment. They were being watched but she didn’t care. Not anymore. His hand was firm around hers as she leaned back in her seat, tipped her head back, and watched brilliant lights fill the night sky.
After a moment she felt him lean in her direction and heard his voice close to her ear. “I’m glad you’re here with me, Katy Hunter.”
She smiled up as another round of fireworks filled the air.
She couldn’t have said it better herself.
Chapter Eleven
When the fireworks came to an end, he started to gather their blankets and the lawn chairs but soon enough Cole and Claire were beside them.
“You two go on and enjoy the rest of your night,” Cole said. “Claire and I will take care of this.”
He almost argued the point. He hated putting people out. But then he caught Katy’s yawn and realized this night was almost at an end. This magical night couldn’t last forever and he aimed to make the most of every available moment.
“Thanks,” he said to Cole. His older brother wore a smirk that was knowing and teasing all at once.
“Anytime, little brother.” He was joking, of course. Dax had never done anything like this before. He rarely dated after Shannon left and even when he had, it had never been anything special. He’d sure as heck never called in favors or set up a surprise on a first date.
Alice used to tease him for being a romantic since he’d married so young. She’d been a teen-ager at the time and had thought his urge to take care of his high school sweetheart was swoonworthy, as she’d called it.
But now it was all so clear. In hindsight and with Katy’s help, it was so obvious now that it hadn’t been love. Not real love.
He’d laughed off her comments that he was a romantic, but now… He glanced over at Katy, who held tight to his hand as he navigated the departing crowds.
Well now he knew better.
He made a beeline for Main Street, where the truck was parked, but getting out of that crowd was easier said than done. Every few feet he was stopped by someone he knew who wanted to talk.
He hated to be rude but his desperation to be alone with Katy was making him unusually on edge. The time until she left was a constant tangible ticking clock between them. He’d wanted to press her further on whether she might stick around for Cole’s wedding next weekend, but there had never seemed to be a good time.
They were supposed to be enjoying the moment, wasn’t that what they’d agreed?
They were nearly out of the crowd when a familiar group stood between him and Main Street. It was a group of his friends, including Alice and James, who were standing a bit apart talking amongst themselves.
Ellen beamed at him from the group and it was impossible to resist that impish grin. She was holding her little girl’s hand and it was like seeing a snapshot of Ellen back in grade school. June couldn’t have been more than eight but she had her mom’s signature red curls, along with the same mischievous smile.
“Hey stranger,” Ellen called out. “Fancy meeting you here.”
He couldn’t ignore her, or his sister, for that matter so he steered Katy over to the group, consoling himself that he’d make a few pleasantries before getting out of there, someplace—anyplace—as long as he could spend a few more precious moments alone with Katy.
June leapt into his arms as he drew near, making him laugh as she eagerly and loudly recounted her favorite parts of the fireworks display before he could get a word in edgewise. He saw Katy laughing along with the others out of the corner of his eye.
He also noticed when Deputy Leo Wilcox started chatting her up.
Now, Dax had nothing against Leo. They’d been buddies since grade school and always got along just fine. But Leo was a notorious flirt, and while that had never bothered him before, he had to resist the urge to tear himself away from June so he could physically place himself between Leo’s flirtatious smile and Katy.
A possessiveness he’d never experienced before made it hard to see or breathe. It wasn’t just possessiveness, it was something deeper.
Mine. She’s mine.
He shook off the thought. Oh heck, he wasn’t that guy. He wasn’t controlling and possessive like Katy’s ex.
But this was something deeper. Not jealousy or the urge to dominate. It was the urge to belong. The need to have her be his, and to be hers in turn. He didn’t want to possess her, he wanted to claim her and be claimed by her as well.
He wished he could hear whatever it was Leo was saying because Katy’s responses made him wary. Her eyes kept darting to him, studying him as if she was seeing him for the first time.
“I’m happy for you, Dax.”
Ellen’s voice beside him interrupted his train of thought and temporarily distracted him from worrying about Leo and whatever it was he was saying.
He glanced down at Ellen, who was smiling up at him, one hand holding June’s as the little girl moved on to James, regaling him with the same fireworks recap she’d given him. James, ever the quiet one, squatted down so he was at her eye level and nodded sagely as though her words were of the utmost significance.
Dax glanced over at Ellen and saw that she too was laughing at the sight of June holding court over the quiet cowboy.
But Ellen, it seemed, wasn’t done yet. She met his eyes and then nodded subtly over toward Katy. “It looks like you’ve finally found the real deal, my friend.”
She was teasing, he knew, but her words made his heart catapult into his throat. Was this the real deal?
Yes.
But what did that mean? For him? For her? Did she feel the same? Where would they go from here?
Too many questions and not enough answers.
Ellen placed a hand on his arm. “Just relax, Dax.”
He glanced down in surprise. He had a sneaking suspicion the little red-headed imp knew exactly what was going on in his head and in his heart.
“Trust me,” she continued, her voice and eyes soft with understanding. “If it’s meant to be, love will find a way.”
She sounded so wise in that moment, he found himself forgetting about her typical high-energy attitude and her cheerful smiles, and remembered that this woman, while around the same age as him, had loved and lost. In some ways she was as youthful as her little girl, but at moments like this she seemed so much wiser than her years.
Then she nodded toward Katy, who was still chatting with the deputy. “Now go rescue her before he really lays on the charm.”
His head whipped around as jealousy
reared its ugly head and he heard Ellen laugh beside him as she patted his arm. “Easy, tiger. She clearly only has eyes for you.”
As she said it his gaze met Katy’s and she gave him a hesitant smile. Something was off. What could have gone wrong in the few seconds that they’d been parted?
He narrowed his eyes and turned his glare to Leo. He swore, if Leo offended her—
“Go on,” Ellen said, giving him a nudge. “Go win your girl.”
He didn’t need any more prompting. Making their excuses, he managed to finagle his way out of the group, tugging Katy close so she was attached to his hip as he made it clear to the other side and onto the main road.
“Did you want to go out for a coffee or a drink?” he asked.
She shook her head and he let out a sigh of relief. This was the most socializing he’d done in ages and he was ready to get back to the private time they’d enjoyed all day. He helped her into the truck but noticed that she averted her eyes as he helped her in.
“Katy, is everything all right?”
She nodded quickly. Too quickly. Then she gave him a forced smile. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”
“Of course.” He headed to the driver’s side and tried to ignore the sinking feeling that he’d done something wrong. That their perfect night had been spoiled. It made sense she was tired. Still, he tapped the steering wheel impatiently as he joined the line of cars on Main Street trying to get out of town. They were far from the only ranching family who’d driven in for the spectacle.
When they’d finally made it to the edge of town and the traffic lightened to hardly anything, he couldn’t stand the silence any longer. “Katy, did something happen back there? You seem distant.”
Steel Toes & Stilettos (Sweet & Rugged in Montana Book 2) Page 11