“Nope, sorry, pal,” Hal said, laughing as he ruffled the hair partially hiding Sebbie’s mischievous face. “Although, maybe we can build an ice slide outside. What do you think of that? I’ve never tried that!”
“Yeah! An ice slide! Hey, Daddy!” Sebbie ran off to share the news with Lucas, leaving Hal and Cheyenne to walk the rest of the distance alone together.
Chapter 50
MILO Personal Dictation: Jane Whyse
Boy, they weren't kidding! I guess a project involving space equipment and astronauts is more than the next level. It's like 86 levels up. We have so many new people involved, here, but especially stateside. I won't know all their names for weeks! Rumor has it, Colonel Edwards is even planning a personal appearance after he attends the launch of the final space catch from Cape Canaveral with the Chapmans. Bonnie and Rich will need transport down to The Dome that week, anyway, so what's an extra passenger?
Lucas suddenly has a team of assistants and students to manage. I think he's overwhelmed just trying to give them all something to do. The regular duty schedule doesn't start until tomorrow, so getting settled with everyone arriving at different times is a little disorganized.
Sebbie is so happy to be back. These Antarctic summers are his best memories. I love that kid.
Poor Candace. We didn't get to talk much, but she stayed in her room most of the day anyway. She said she’s putting the finishing touches on her thesis, but I wonder if she’s just trying to be invisible.
Even if I didn't know her, her face would be awfully familiar by now. What crappy luck. You'd think the tabloids would be bored by now. It sucks that no one cares she’s a NASA medical scientist, not a political sex scandal.
Ugh, I regret that choice of words. But that is what Candace has become. I'm sure she'd never have come back if it weren't to escape all that for a while.
It's weird being here again.
I feel closest to Emily down here. It's so bittersweet. I hate it, and I love it. All the memories of being pregnant seem so real. Too real. Unforgettable. Can’t let it go. So many reminders.
Is it possible she'd be walking by now? Sippy cups. Little pigtails and always missing a sock, I bet. Dresses that would make her want to twirl.
This is where I had so much time with her. This is where I felt her move for the first time. It was all good news down here.
Semotus Dome feels more like home than our house sometimes. I feel like she could be here. When I try to think about her at home… that house is ruined by the memory of coming home from the hospital empty-hearted. And watching Mom cry while hiding all the baby gifts we’d already opened.
More than half the time I was imagining her, I was here. Coming to The Dome feels like visiting her. Certainly more than visiting her tombstone. I can't ever go back there. It's so cold there, even in a New York July.
Chapter 51
Cheyenne stared around the crowded room after the last introduction and smiled.
“Well, I guess you won't remember each others' names yet,” she said, “but at least we tried. That's a mark of good leadership, right?”
Most of the faces chuckled, and some people started to stand up.
“Until Dr. Chapman arrives, I'm running the base,” she continued, over the rising noise. “Dr. Whyse over there is running the project on-site. You can let us know if you need anything or if you have questions. You should all have your duty schedules, so don't pretend you didn't know you were supposed to get something done this morning. Jane, anything to add?”
“Nope, everybody get to work,” Jane said.
“All right, class dismissed.”
Jane turned to say something to Lucas, but closed her mouth sadly when she watched the new people all try to stare at Candace without being seen. The nurse's face turned red under the scrutiny, and she quickly grabbed up Sebbie and called for Dám to follow her.
Poor girl hasn’t even unpacked yet, Jane thought in annoyance. She wanted to go shield Candace from their looks but didn’t know how to do it without making things worse.
“What were you going to say?” Lucas asked her.
“What?” Jane said with a frown. “Oh, I wonder what these new people think of our kids being here.”
“Is that what you were going to ask?” Lucas replied with a lowered voice.
“No. Forget it. I'm already annoyed at them for staring.”
“At least they're trying to be subtle. No one's tried to take a selfie with her yet.”
“Yet?” Jane said, turning toward the door to begin the first day's work. “Well, I'm off to my lab with Ana. What are you up to today, Dr. Whyse?”
“I don't know, Dr. Whyse,” he said, offering her an elbow to hold as they walked out. “I thought maybe I'd start with a nap, then read for a while. I don't really have anything to do now that I have seven other people to do my work for me.”
“You're afraid of the lab, aren't you?” Jane teased.
“Terrified!” Lucas said. “You don't understand! They all stand around watching my every move. I knocked something over last night and two of them stopped taking notes to help clean it up. What were they taking notes on, Jane? I was just opening boxes and shuffling things around on the counter!”
Jane laughed and kissed him, smacking his bottom as he turned to leave.
Ana had entered the hallway and winked at the Whyse’s antics as Lucas walked away.
“Ok, Jane,” Ana asked, “What shall we do today?” She was carrying a box containing a few framed photos and an artificial orchid.
“I wanted to peek in on the kids first, if that's ok,” Jane replied.
“The kids that just left this very room?” Ana teased. “Got it. We'll see if they've even sat down yet.”
“Sorry,” Jane said. “It's just that Sebbie is starting to read, and I kind of want to hear Candace's reaction. We've been working so, so hard on it. Plus, I want to be sure he feels settled. First day jitters.”
“Him or you?” Ana said with a nod in the direction of the school room. “And wow, that's amazing. Must have genius parents.”
“Well, not like photosynthesis and aerodynamics, but bus, airplane, train, you know.”
“Motor vehicles, primarily?” Ana asked and Jane chuckled. “I can't wait to hear it,” she added. “Let's grab coffee and then head down.”
Jane reached to help with the box, exposing her forearm.
“Hey!” Ana exclaimed, the colors catching her eye. “Whoa, what’s on your arm? A tattoo? Jane! You’re so cool now!”
Jane waited with her hand out as Ana read the scripted words from Lamentations 3, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,” and gently smiled.
“So, when's Bonnie calling?” Jane asked as she tugged her sleeve back into place.
“Not for an hour,” Ana replied as they walked toward the cafeteria. “We have time to get down there and still look like we know what we're doing.”
“How about all these new people, huh?”
“Yeah, I feel old somehow,” Ana confessed. “I guess 'cause this is all familiar now. I can't wait to show Ian around.”
“I bet,” Jane said. “It'll be fun to have him so close.”
“I know. Seeing him every weekend?” Ana said, shaking her head at the welcome change. “That's awesome. Almost like being home at the same time, which only happens every so often for the McDells.”
“How do you think Candace'll handle all this?” Jane asked with a lowered voice.
“Ugh. I know. I guess only twenty-some people staring is better than everyone everywhere you go. Plus, they'll get used to seeing her, and she'll feel normal again.”
“I hope so,” Jane said.
Ana looked around as they walked down the hallway.”I can't believe we're, like, in charge of NASA now,” she said.
“What?” Jane laughed. “We're not in charge of NASA. I'm only in charge of this project until Bonnie comes back. Split Horizon is a high priority though. It does feel kind of spe
cial, doesn't it?”
“I'll say,” Ana agreed. “I can't believe how many minds they had working to make this all happen in time for another Antarctic summer.”
“They didn't want to lose a year.”
“And they didn't,” Ana said, shaking her head. “Assuming the launch in Florida goes well, we'll be on track for some huge leaps this year.”
“Pun intended?”
“Ha, oh, maybe, I don't know,” Ana chuckled.
“Excuse me, ma'am?” said a male voice behind them as they left the cafeteria a few minutes later, warm drinks in hand.
“Yes?” Jane asked, turning around.
“Sorry, but it's base policy that you have to have your ID visible,” he said.
“Yes, of course,” Jane said, pulling her lanyard out of her pocket. “Sorry, here you go.”
The man checked the badge, smiled, and waved them on with a ‘have a good morning.’
“Goodness, we aren't in Kansas anymore, are we?” Jane whispered as they rounded the corner. “I just got carded in my own house.”
“I bet he feels stupid now that he saw who you are.”
“Oh, I hope not,” Jane said. “We should all follow the same rules. There's enough people on base here to create a security problem if we aren't careful. It isn't the same as our tiny group from the first year.”
“Ah, the good ol’ days...” Ana smiled. “That was a great year, wasn't it?”
Jane smiled but her mind slipped to a sad place. Ana immediately stopped. “Oh, Jane, I'm sorry, I didn’t forget, I just meant that was a special year for us to start—”
“I know, Ana, and it's fine,” Jane said putting her hand on Ana’s arm. “It was a good year! I have great memories from it. Thank you for reminding me.”
Jane's swirling thoughts threatened to change her mood, so she pushed them away deliberately as they approached the sound of Sebbie's voice in the school room.
Chapter 52
“Well, this is a change of pace, isn't it, Split Horizon?” Colonel Edwards said over the monitor from Cape Canaveral four days later. The console room in The Dome was full of bodies but void of its usual tension on a launch day.
“Yes, sir,” Jane nodded. “You get to be on the exciting end this time.”
“Sure do! Although Bonnie has had the best of both worlds.”
“Hi, Bonnie,” chorused the team at Semotus Base.
“Hello,” Bonnie replied in the screen, adjusting her headphones. “We're excited to join you shortly. Ready to get to work again! I hope you're off to a good start.”
Rich leaned into the picture to wave, and Bonnie recoiled visibly as he brushed against her. Jane tried not to roll her eyes.
“Soon as we shoot this little guy into space, we're flying down to see you,” Rich said. “I’ll have to trade in my flip flops.” He either hadn't noticed her reaction or didn't care.
Ana waited until the focus of the team in Florida was diverted back to their task, then commented to Jane, “Is this what it's been like for them the last two years? If so, the launches aren't as exciting as I think they are. Watching someone else work is the world's boring-est movie.”
Jane laughed. Lucas checked his watch absent-mindedly, which Ana took as his agreement.
“T minus 60 seconds,” said a voice over the monitor.
“I'm not nervous,” Jane mused, adjusting her ponytail. “I thought I'd be nervous. Maybe I don't get as nervous when I have no way to mess anything up.”
“You haven't messed anything up,” said Cheyenne.
“Not yet at least,” Jane said, “but our launches always make me worry I'm missing something. Like when you leave the house and can't remember if you turned off the oven. Ana's counting down, and I'm thinking, 'Did we put all the gems in the canister?' and 'Did we target the catch?' even though I know we did. I just worry that I'm going to blow up thirty million dollars.”
“Well, we did that already,” Lucas teased.
“Don't remind me!” Jane said, poking his arm.
“Fifteen seconds.”
“Ok, hush now, let's watch and give the Colonel his moment of glory,” Cheyenne said, pointing at the monitors.
The countdown continued and at the blast-off, they were rewarded with an alternate camera view that showed the launch pad itself instead of the control room.
“Looking good,” a voice said. “All systems go.”
“Confirmed.”
The chatter bounced around many voices as different departments checked in and confirmed success. When the view changed back to the control room, the Antarctic team witnessed all the applause, handshakes, and back-slapping of people who were glad to have been responsible for avoiding an expensive disaster.
“Well, that's how you do it, eh, Semotus?” Colonel Edwards said as he walked over to confer with them once more.
“What a treat, sir,” Jane said. “Glad you got to be in the hot seat for once.”
“That's enough to make you sweat,” he agreed. “But I loved it! Now, I'm off to pack. I'm coming down with the Chapmans, so go clean up your bunks.”
“That’s good news, sir,” Cheyenne said. “Split Horizon looks forward to hosting our patron. See you in a few days. Bring your shorts; it's positively balmy this week.”
Chapter 53
“Stop, Candace, you’re making me look bad,” Jane said as she toweled off the back of her neck a few days later.
“I’m almost done,” Candace replied from the elliptical machine.
Jane walked around, sipping her water, as she waited for Candace to finish her nearly unending workout.
“You were already started when I got here, so you can’t keep going when I stop,” Jane teased when her friend finally stepped down.
Candace smiled. “We need to shower before the heli gets back. Don’t want to greet the command team gross.”
“Sure, sounds good. Want to grab a coffee?”
“Really, Jane? Right after working out?” Candace said with a teasingly judgmental headshake.
“Um, yes. And I’m not even embarrassed.”
Candace laughed and turned toward the cafeteria to accommodate. After walking in silence for a moment, Candace put her hand on Jane’s arm and quietly said, “I want you to know I remember what today is.”
Jane looked away for a minute, then turned and smiled. “Thanks. Lucas and I talked about her this morning. It's nice to know we’re not the only ones to remember.”
“Hey, finding out you’re pregnant is a big deal,” Candace agreed softly. “I remembered when I got the reminder to start everyone’s baseline physicals, so I looked back on my calendar.”
“It’s a weird anniversary… Weird to have sad memories of being happy, if that makes sense.”
Candace looked away. “Two years, huh?”
“‘Fast years, but long minutes.’ That’s what they say, right?”
“I guess,” Candace agreed. “How was it, you know, this winter?”
Jane sighed. “The first anniversary of losing her was... rough. A couple family members sent flowers. People don’t know what to do, whether or not to say anything. My sister sent a flowering bush to plant, so that was nice. One that wouldn’t wilt right away. I didn’t like throwing away the cut ones once they, uh, died. That sounds ungrateful, but I didn’t like it.”
They walked in silence, slowly.
“Candace?”
“Yes?”
“You can tell me about your anniversary date, too, if you wanted. That would be ok.”
“Oh, there’s nothing to tell,” Candace said. “I was alone. I never even told Isaac, my boyfriend then, so there wasn’t anyone excited or angry or... anything. Just me.”
She shrugged, and Jane nodded.
“Thanks for recommending the counseling, Jane,” she added. “It’s really… it’s been good. Freeing.”
“I’m really glad,” Jane said, reaching over to squeeze her friend's hand.
They arrived at the cafeteria
where Candace waved but continued toward her room.
“Hey you,” Lucas said, looking up from his toast as his wife walked in. “Good work out, hun?”
Jane smiled and nodded as she filled her coffee. Returning to Lucas’ table, she sat down very close to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. The cafeteria was empty; the room felt large and quiet.
“Sorry I’m sweaty,” she said.
“I don’t mind,” he smiled. “You ok? Feeling…today?”
“Today’s just… heavy. Should we say anything to Sebbie?”
“Maybe we can talk about it after lunch,” he replied.
“I think it’s important to make sure he’s aware so no one freaks him out when he’s twelve by bomb-shelling him with the news that he had a sister.”
“I do, too.”
“Lu?”
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
“I love you so much, Jane.”
“Could we have changed anything?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Emily.”
“Honey, no,” he said. “Please don’t do this again.” He took her shoulders and gently turned her to face him, staring hard at her eyes.
“I’m not blaming myself, Lu, I promise,” Jane said. “I just mean, maybe not the outcome, but could we have enjoyed it more? The seven months… did we make her a priority? Were we excited? Could she tell? Did she know we loved her?”
“Yes.”
Jane absent-mindedly rubbed her belly. Does working out mean I’m trying to erase the evidence of her existence?
“It’s just… I wonder if knowing there was a problem could have made a difference,” Jane sighed as she shook her head. Weird thoughts, please go away, she thought in annoyance.
“Should I still cry over this?” she asked. “Should I be healed? What does that look like? Where am I supposed to be with God? Angry? I don’t even know. I’m over the angry, I guess, but I’m still confused. I feel like I can’t talk to him about that. Like I can talk about you, about Sebbie, and the project, but I feel like I have to leave the topic of Emily alone when I pray. I can’t quite handle that one with Him. I mean, what would He even say to me?”
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