My thoughts turned to Ajax and the cold mountains, now a fading memory. I wanted him to be next to me, to share this confusion and to discover the truth for ourselves, together. I wanted him, and nothing the Commander could do or say would change my mind. I didn't want to care about genetics or what was best for everyone else, but I had to, didn't I? It was what I was brought up to do.
I stared at Professor Baal feeling betrayed, hurt, confused, and lonely. She did not turn or acknowledge my presence at all, until we were several meters away. She led me away from the compound and in to the surrounding woods. We would trek a few kilometers to the launch station that would transport me to Danu.
"It isn't the worst thing he could do, Kaia," Professor Baal stopped walking and turned to look at me. "Please understand I'm doing my best. Sending you to Cadmus is not a bad thing," she admitted, looking glum about it nonetheless.
"Which side are you on, Professor?" I asked directly. The queasy feeling was growing inside of me. I didn't want to be sent to Danu. I didn't want to be sent anywhere without my Crusade team, without Ajax.
"I'm on the side of the planet. I'm trying to make things right, to do what's best for the common good as the Commander puts it, but as you can see, that's not always easy to determine." As usual, her answer was ambiguous, but I had other things on my mind.
"Ajax is not inferior," I insisted. I let my head drop and stared at the ground, watching as my breath floated from my mouth with every exhale.
"No," Professor Baal agreed. She touched my shoulder and I looked up to meet her eyes. She didn't mask her emotions and I could see the hurt there. She was terribly sad. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from the Commander. He knows more than I realized."
"What's going to happen to me, Professor?" I just wanted a straight answer.
"I don't know. Much of what is to come will be up to you. You will have to decide where you stand."
"Where do you stand?" I asked again. How did I know who I could trust?
"I stand with you. And there are many others who do the same."
I shook my head in frustration. "But I don't even know where I stand. How can anyone believe in me simply because of my genetics?"
"You will know, Kaia. Your choice is coming. You will make decisions and many, more than you can imagine, will follow you."
Again, I bowed my head, trying to conceal the tears in my eyes. None of it made sense to me. I wanted to go back to the mountain, back to Ajax. "I am nothing without him," I admitted. I didn't want to go, didn't want to make any decisions without Ajax. Professor Baal put her arms around me and held me close. I let my body relax against her and a few tears rolled down my cheeks.
"I'm sending him after you," she whispered in my ear. "I am sending them all."
"Professor!" I pulled away, some of my despair dissipating. "What about the Commander? Does he know?"
"No. He is not the only one who keeps secrets or has power. His time is coming, too, and he will answer for the things he has done." She pulled her mailbox from her pocket and called a file.
"Hello, Mother," Ajax's weary voice answered her call. My heart swelled. She turned her mailbox to me and I could see his face again.
"Ajax!" I reached out and touched a finger to the screen and he touched back.
"Kaia," he answered. He let me feel what it was like to wake up and find me gone. His despair felt as deep as my own and in turn, I let him feel what it was like for me, waking up in the Commander's presence. I showed him silently all that had transpired since we parted.
"So you're going to marry my brother after all?" he smiled wryly, trying to make light of the situation.
"Cadmus is like the sun," I reminded him, hoping he would remember our conversation in the ruined city.
"And his brother?" Ajax prompted, smiling brightly.
"His brother is like water."
"Something you could never live without," he finished. I put my forehead on the mailbox, trying to feel him as I did on the mountain.
"I love you, Ajax," I told him, holding back my tears.
"I love you more," he answered. "Keep your chin up, okay? You're going to see Tiergan again. He'll take care of you. Cadmus will take care of you. He's my brother and he knows how I feel about you."
I didn't want to go to Danu, even if it meant seeing my brother again. I didn't want to do any of this; I wanted to go home.
"My parents…Derek…tell them, Ajax. Will you get word to them?"
"Yes, I'll tell them. They're my family too, right?" He held up his arm and showed me my cuff, secure about his wrist. "I'll stay true to you. Whatever the Commander says, there is something between us and there always has been. He can try to separate us, but I'm coming for you. And when we're together, we are more powerful than anyone, even the Commander. I know that now. Remember how much energy we had between us, when we came together? I'm beginning to understand what we can do together," he finished.
I didn't feel powerful, though. I felt alone.
"But you did feel powerful when we were together on the mountain, didn't you?" he answered my thoughts.
Yes, it was true, I did feel powerful then. Our energy was uncontainable. If we could figure out a way to harness it in the right way, perhaps we would be unstoppable.
We said our goodbyes and Professor Baal closed the connection. We continued on to the station.
"One more thing," Professor Baal said as we neared our destination. "He put the tracker in your left shoulder. Should you ever find the need to remove it, ask Malik. He will know what to do."
"Okay, Professor," I dipped my head, acknowledging her words. She embraced me again and placed an object in my pocket.
"Your weapons and other necessities will be waiting for you on the transport. Commander Renier has seen to it. He's included your mailbox as well. The one I put in your pocket is not registered. If you decide to remove your tracker one day, you might find an unregistered mailbox useful."
I tightened my grip on her and held on for as long as she let me. Finally, she pulled away.
"You continue the rest of the way on your own," she told me. I'm pretty sure there were tears in her eyes.
I bowed to her deeply, not trusting myself to speak. She touched my shoulder and I raised my head. She nodded at me and I turned and began to walk away. I didn't look back because there was no going back. Tomorrow I would be on Danu and I would bide my time until Ajax found me again.
Goodbye, Kaia, Professor Baal called in my head.
Goodbye, Mother Baal, I answered. Then I remembered the words I said as I left the Tennis Academy. Until we meet again, I added.
Until we meet again, she answered.
As I prepared to transport, I wondered if I would ever see her again.
The End
Acknowledgements
To those who would walk into the fires of Mordor with me: Michelle Parlato, Noel Medaille, Margaret Faulkner, Nicholas Reich, and my sun and stars Mike Noble. I truly could not have done this without you.
To my agent Stacey Donaghy for taking a chance on me and for her continued belief and support.
To my early readers: Tina Parlato, John Cotter, Dorra Choi, Jennifer Wiens, Serra Swift, Cammi Merriam, Ian Kwong, Stephen Alix, and Victoria Vontz. I am forever grateful.
To Sophia, Myles, and Lilly, you are the loves of my life.
To my in-laws Don and Barbara who love and support me unconditionally.
To my dear friend Kenny Reneer for never letting me forget where I came from. To Frankie for his sound advice and wisdom. To Don Burke for helping with the mark of the Unviables. To Matt Heinlein for joining in my journey and for his enthusiasm and encouragement.
And to Derek, until we meet again my friend.
About the Author
Valerie has a background in property management and an education in food science. She’s also an avid reader and tennis player. While studying chemistry, an idea for a story blossomed in her imagination. She turned that idea into her first
novel, The Energy Crusades, a young adult/ science fiction adventure.
Also from Astraea Press
Chapter One
"Mom," I whisper softly and give her shoulders a shake. But her eyes remain closed; her lips are half-parted and turned slightly up at the corners as if she's gazing at something wonderful. Maybe she is.
I sigh and lean in a little closer to her face. "Mom, are you just taking a nap?" I ask in a slightly louder voice and poke her cheek with my index finger. When she still doesn't move, my temper snaps. "Wake uuuuppp!" I yell right into her ear.
There's no response.
Great, I've lost her again. Feeling in the pit of my stomach that days of loneliness and silence are looming before me, I give up and back away from the bed.
I try not to blame her. Shoot, if there weren't bills to pay, books to write, groceries to buy, and school to attend, I'd let myself get lost in there for a couple of days too. But somebody has to take care of things out here in the real world; somebody has to make sure we stay together.
I tuck the embroidered sheet tighter around Mom's slender shoulders and bend to brush my lips on her forehead. Her shallow, measured breaths feel like a light wind blowing across my face. She doesn't stir at my kiss. Her head lays unmoving on the pillow, her white eyelashes fanning themselves over two porcelain cheeks and long, golden hair framing her face like a halo.
I push myself off the bed, the soles of my sneakers making scuffling noises as I drag them across the soft, cream-colored carpet that covers the floor of Mom's bedroom. It's not as if I need to keep quiet though — a herd of wild elephants won't wake her up now, not until she decides she wants to be awake.
And who knows how long that will be this time.
* * * *
I pad through the bedroom door, flicking off the lights and pulling the screen shut behind me. My heart sinks heavily in my chest as I walk into the kitchen and plop down onto one of the high stools tucked under the island in the middle of the room.
Two days this time. My hand slams down on the marble countertop, and I lose my cool for the second time in five minutes. Only two days! Is it so awful out here with me she can't even last a week anymore? I let my head hang and rest my elbows on the counter. My eyelids flutter closed, and I take a deep breath, then another. In and out. In and out. This is what I do to calm down when life seems overwhelming.
Life seems overwhelming a lot these days.
It wasn't always like this, though. The three of us were a happy family once, a long time ago. But then she started leaving me to be with him. We got evicted from place after place because Mom wouldn't work. There never seemed to be enough money, even when I ran errands after school to try to make ends meet. I remember how my teeth chattered when the heat was finally turned off in our last house, and how Mom's eyes slowly became dull and haunted. The only thing I could do was watch helplessly as she fell deeper and deeper into the other world.
There is one good thing about what we are. When we're asleep, we power down. Our physical bodies don't need food, or water, or anything except somewhere to curl up and dream. So at least I only had one mouth to feed — my own.
A twelve-year-old girl should never have to make her own way in the world. And yet somehow, I've managed these five years since. Because unlike my mother, I choose to live my life, not dream it away.
* * * *
Once my pounding heart slows and I feel myself relax, I take one last breath and open my eyes. The glowing numbers on the countertop tell me I've been standing here for fifteen minutes. Too long. There are only a few minutes to spare before I miss the morning train and am late for school again. Not wasting any more time, I scoop my bag and sweatshirt off the floor and head for the front door.
As I punch in the code to unlock the door and slide it open, I quickly scan the screen mounted on the wall of the hallway. There's a wall screen in each room of the house, and I always leave a couple of windows open so I can keep tabs on the serious stuff, like how much money is left in the bank, what bills are coming up this month, tests, homework assignments, and most importantly, when Mom's pages are due.
Which apparently, was yesterday.
Crap! I can't believe I missed a deadline. I'm always so careful about keeping track of the exact dates and times. A deep sigh escapes my lips as I quickly type out an apology to Evan, Mom's book editor, promising to have the pages for him by tomorrow morning. He doesn't know the books by his most famous client, Lily Dal Monte, are actually written by her seventeen-year-old daughter. I wait until I hear the deadbolts for the front door slide into place. Once they do, with two heavy, reassuring clunks, I take off down the stone steps leading from our secluded house to the street below.
My thoughts swirl as I make my way towards the main gate, frustrated that I've forgotten the pages. I've been so excited to have Mom awake, all my other responsibilities just slipped my mind.
But I'd rather have an angry book editor, hundreds of miles away, holed up in his little cubicle of misery, than hear one more lecture from Mr. Thorne about being late to school. And I definitely don't need to try to finagle my way out of another parent-principal conference with Thorne. He's sort of obsessed with Mom, even though he's only met her once.
As I fly down the main road of our super-private community, I wave at the guard posted by the large metal gate that blocks my route out to the world.
From inside his tiny hut, Gus waves back. "Don't be late again!" he calls out to me and winks. He tips his hat, a tan-colored monstrosity the neighborhood makes him wear as part of his uniform.
"That's the plan," I yell back and imitate his gesture even though I'm not wearing a hat. It's our little morning routine. I squeeze through the small opening he's made for me in the bars, and wave as I rush off to catch the train. My sneakers slap hard against the pavement as the cold autumn wind blows right through my dark blue sweatshirt; I should have worn something warmer.
As I race toward the train platform at the end of the street, I gaze back at the big gate and let it comfort me. No one knows this is where my famous mother lives. No one's ever been able to find her.
And until I turn eighteen, it needs to stay that way.
The Energy Crusades Page 28