by Heather Wood
She began walking again; Gno and Finch followed.
Rae spun around, Lucky Cat aimed and ready: “Ha!”
But right before she was about to spray, she was hit by a whirlwind.
She was blown off of her feet and hit an artfully graffitied wall with more force than would be comfortable for most living beings.
The air was knocked out of her. Her shoulder screeched in protest. She flailed on the gum -covered and grimy West Hollywood sidewalk as she fought for breath.
She could hear Gno and Finch spring to action and the clang of some kind of metal, but these details were less important at the moment than breathing.
Then she heard another familiar voice.
“How dare you interfere! I’ve risked my life and my honor to escape my unfair punishment and prove myself to Lunalet! I’m here to save the moon! Major Knuffin! I order you to kill the Lavender Hair!”
Rae gasped, air finally entering her lungs. It felt great to be close friends with oxygen once again.
She turned on her side and was treated to the familiar view of a very short woman with a very high ponytail. She looked the same as she did when she destroyed Rae's shop, except a lot dirtier and somewhat smellier.
“Manic Pixie Asshole!” Rae wanted to shout, but as she was still collecting her breath, it came out as: “Mnpx ssole.” Definitely more of a whimper than a shout.
MPA was fighting both Finch and Gno simultaneously. They all seemed to be using some kind of light-beam-swords. Not quite like the ones Rae was used to seeing in certain popular science fiction franchises, but more like holographic outlines of swords. The shapes of the otherwise invisible weapons were defined by outlines of light. It looked like they were all fighting with super cool neon signs made to look like swords. With each clang of sword, Ember ground out her admonishments.
“Gno. You. Traitor. How. Dare. You.”
Ember did a backflip, and the men followed suit, still fighting. A crowd had gathered and took pictures. The internet was blowing up.
“No!,” Ember shouted as she landed. She flung her free hand in a wide arc around her, and people shrieked, dropping their fried electronics.
“Get away from The ChatSnap!” Ember shrieked, swinging her sword around her as Gno and Finch closed in. The area cleared quickly as there was the clang of swords once again.
“Purple. Haired. Foe. Your. technique. Is. Good. But. Your instincts are flawed!”
There was another loud clang as Ember leapt to the wall Rae had hit, connected to it with her feet, and slid down it like some kind of hybrid surfer. She landed next to Rae and pulled out what looked like a glowing ball of playdough.
“Stop!” shouted Gno.
The ball exploded outward, creating a wave of sound that knocked the men off their feet.
Victorious, Ember turned to Rae and pulled out what looked like neon- glowing handcuffs.
“Where is the Pook?” Ember demanded.
In response, Rae sprayed Ember right in the eyeball with the Lucky Cat pepper spray.
Ember screeched and jumped back, dropping the handcuffs. Rae jumped after her and sprayed her other eyeball.
“Aaaaaahhhh!” Ember shouted.
Gno and Finch recovered and ran to Rae.
Finch had picked up the handcuffs, but before he could attach them to Ember’s wrist, there was a puff of blue smoke.
“Traitor!” accused Ember as she disappeared.
“Blast!” shouted Finch.
“Are you alright?” Gno asked Rae.
Rae aimed the pepper spray at him.
“I’m going,” she rasped.
“You need protection,” Finch insisted.
“What, your protection?” Rae inquired. “Looks like I did just fine on my own.”
“That tiny woman will be back and with reinforcements,” said Finch.
Gno shook his head. “Looks like Ember’s gone rogue for some reason."
“You know her?” Rae accused.
“She’s his cousin.” informed Finch.
“Second cousin,” Gno amended.
A crowd was gathering.
“Time to go,” Rae muttered.
Rae was discomfited to notice that the two men again flanked her as she walked.
“Seriously?”
Gno’s voice was infuriatingly reasonable. “You know that if we hadn’t been there to fight her, you wouldn’t have been able to use your weapon, skillful as you were,” he acknowledged.
With a sigh, Rae put Lucky Cat back into her purse.
The three walked in relative silence to her car.
“Samantha destroyed your place, too,” added Finch matter-of-factly.
Rae whirled on him.
“What?!”
“Finch! We just convinced her, and now you bring this up?” Gno growled.
“It’s true. That Samantha is not who she says she is” Finch said.
“I KNOW!” shouted Rae. “Will you please act normally for two seconds!”
Rae gesticulated wildly.
Suddenly, with the reflexes of a snake, but the gentleness of a butterfly, Gno grabbed her hand, turning it to reveal a glimpse of a tattoo that spiraled delicately down her arm.
“What is this?” he asked tracing the circles lightly.
Rae pulled her hand away, rubbing her wrist involuntarily.
“Ember will return,” said Gno.
“And I must protect you from her and from Major Knuffin,” said Finch.
“Wait. What?” asked Rae.
“I must protect you from Ember-“ Finch started again.
Rae waved her hand to stop him. She knew she was being rude, but she had no more reserves for these two.
“What was the other thing you said?”
“What other thing?” Finch asked.
“Major who?” Rae asked.
“Major Knuffin,” Finch answered, gesturing to Gno and looking confused.
“Your name is Gno Nuffin?" Rae asked incredulously.
Gno bristled a little at her manner. “Yes. Is there a problem?”
Rae exploded into laughter: a four-star guffawing that her lungs couldn’t keep up with. She laughed for a full minute, gasping for air, leaning against a storefront. People on the street gave her a wide berth.
Rae caught her breath, suddenly feeling very tired.
Gno had his arms crossed but stayed silent.
Finch looked confused.
“Fine.” Rae finished the walk to her car. When the two men got into the car with her, she didn’t stop them.
13.
Her Vega rumbled as it pulled into the driveway. Having a parking spot in West Hollywood was about the same as owning a small island in the Pacific.
Having a home for her Vega was especially helpful during The Halloween Season, when all of West Hollywood was a party and a parking lot.
The drive home was…awkward... to say the least.
Finch’s huge frame filled the front seat. Finch took one look at Rae and didn’t dare put his feet onto the console. Instead, he sat curled over his knees, trying not to hit his head against the roof.
Gno sat in the back, shoving art supplies and ramen wrappers out of his way, more comfortable with the silence than Finch was.
As they stepped out of the Vega, Rae pointed her house key at the two men like a knife.
“Don’t,” she rasped, “say anything weird.”
As Rae entered her home, she smelled the crackle of bacon on the stove and the rich tones of Mrs. Delancy’s voice as she huddled with Comet, making a snack.
They were making bacon pancakes.
Bacon pancakes…one of Rae's favorite things.
Before Rae could say anything, Gno and Finch appeared in the doorway behind her.
Instinctively, Comet let out a war cry, which was somehow more intimidating due to Comet’s perfectly pressed pencil skirt under a perfectly ruffled kitchen apron.
Then Comet crouched low into a fighter’s stance,
“
I have a double black belt in hot yoga, bitches.” she growled. “I’ve had to register this gorgeous body as a deadly weapon in four states.”
“It’s okay, Comet, they are with me on purpose, I think.” Rae assured.
Comet studied Rae uneasily, maintaining her stance. Furtively, Gno and Finch each put a hand to their weapons. The tension was electric, the silence deafening.
"Who wants maple syrup?"
Mrs. Delancy spun around with a huge smile across her round face, holding a plate piled high with pancakes.
"Oooh!" The boys immediately dropped their butts into kitchen chairs, folded their hands, and looked up at the beaming lady expectantly. She placed a stack of the hot cakes on each of the plates in front of them, which they hunched over greedily.
Mystified, Comet shook her head.
"Ok, girl, let’s eat."
Within minutes, everyone was chewing and chatting, passing syrup and thanking Mrs. Delancy who stood at the stove mixing more batter.
"Poookkkaa.."
A weak voice caused them all to turn towards the doorway, and the newfound camaraderie was instantly overturned as Gno and Finch leapt atop their chairs, screaming, "Pook! Pook! "
Comet rushed over and scooped The Pook into her sinewy arms.
"Oh, my baaaaaabbby. There you are. Oh, look at his fur. It's all singed."
It was true. What was left of The Pook's pink coat was covered in black soot and ash, and the ends of his wings were burnt. His eyes were weary, and he snuggled against Comet in a most despondent way.
"What are you doing?" She asked the men tiredly.
"THAT! That...THING...is incredibly dangerous; you must instruct her to put it down and shield herself while I dispose of it!" Finch drew his sword.
Comet glared. ”What? Now you listen to me....First of all, no one 'instructs me' to do anything, sweet face. But secondly- you will NOT 'dispose of' Pookie; he's a sweet little fellow, and he's had just as bad a night as we have!"
Gno climbed down from his chair.
"Pookie?"
The Pook gazed up at Comet adoringly.
“Pooooookkkkaaaaaaa.”
Carefully, Comet carried Pook into the bathroom.
“Let’s get you patched up, poor little thing,” she crooned.
Gno rubbed his forehead.
"This planet gets stranger and stranger."
Finch smacked Knuffin's arm and stared at him.
"This... PLANET?!” Rae shouted. “OK, seriously. We need to get some things straight. No, ‘I’ need to get some things straight. These last few weeks have been weird as hell, and I feel like they've all been related to you guys somehow. Who ARE you? What IS this animal thingy? WHY are you all here!? WHAT IS GOING ON!?"
CRAAAACK-THUMP.
The next few things happened very quickly.
The whole crew turned to the front door, which now lay helplessly on the floor.
Standing upon said door was none other than Ember, face dirty and ponytail bent, but otherwise as mad as hell.
“Oh, no,” Rae heard herself say, “not agai-“
But she didn’t get to finish her sentence, because Ember had sliced the air with a dart, which landed directly into Rae's neck.
Rae crumpled over.
Before she hit the ground Gno and Finch leapt in front of her in battle stances, Gno igniting his laser scimitar and Finch aiming his blast gun. Before the men could get to the second move of their melee, Ember waved her hand, and the two brawny men were shoved to the ground, seemingly pinned under the weight of a thousand pounds.
As the two struggled, a ceramic plate flew through the air, thoroughly and completely missing Ember. Mrs. D. stood panting.
“Dammit,” she muttered as she reached for another plate, but Ember pulled a cord from her tiny supply pack and had Mrs. D. tied to a chair in two winks.
“Oh, that is not happening right now.”
Ember spun to see Comet standing in full Amazonian glory, muscles tensed as she stood in a perfect Warrior Two stance. She beckoned to Ember.
“Only Madonna can wear a ponytail like that.”
“Your words are strong, but are you, Earther?” Ember seethed.
The fight was deadly, nimble, and completely silent, except for whooshes of air. But it was a waft of air that awoke Rae.
She blinked her eyes to see that her Ikea lamp was the first casualty of the fight... then her coffee table… then her TV...
“Ung.” Her hands felt like overripe bananas as she fumbled for the dart in her neck. She sluggishly pulled the dart free.
It was painful.
Blood trickled down her neck in a thick line. Did it look purple?
Her eyes couldn’t track the whirlwind that was Comet and Ember. An idea came slowly to Rae, blossoming in her foggy mind.
“Don't give us none of your aggravation; we've had it with your discipline-“ Rae rasped.
Rae felt another puff of air, this time a whirlwind.
Pook appeared before her, between her and the fighting warriors, the center of its own personal tornado. [1][2]
Comet and Ember froze.
“Pookie!” called out Comet worriedly.
“Pook!” Ember shouted. She faced the Pook, planting her feet firmly. “Polly wa shuga ney nah nah.” She said with dignity.
Pook didn’t move.
“Pook?” queried Ember, “Remember your oath! Polly wa shuga ney nah NAH.” She repeated, clenching her fists.
Though the tornado took it down a few pegs, the pink, fluffy death-ball didn’t move.
“Pook?” Ember’s voice trembled.
“Pookie, baby, you do whatever your pink fuzzy heart tells you to do,” crooned Comet.
Pook wavered between the two women.
“Pook!” snapped Ember.
Rae could have sworn she saw a bead of sweat on the beast before she again passed out cold.
Sneakily, Ember unhooked the clasp of her ponytail and with a deft flick of her wrist, threw the metal ring at Comet. The clasp glowed a strange, deadly blue.
Comet saw it too late.
“POOK.” The blue projectile cracked and spun, blocked by the fluffy warrior.
Pook was pissed.
Pook faced Ember, gathering its storm.
“Pook, no!” shouted Ember, but she was thrown from her feet. Pook funneled the wind at Ember so forcefully that the tiny woman was pinned to the popcorn ceiling.
“Po-oook,” she ground out. “Wh-yyy?”
But Pook dropped the storm so Ember fell to the floor.
Comet sprang on her, tying the smaller woman with a pair of leggings.
Ember didn’t fight. She looked broken.
“Pook, why did you betray me?” She whispered.
“Pook,” said Pook, quiet, deadly.
Comet shoved Ember less than gently against the refrigerator and searched her, pulling out all kinds of crazy objects. An unidentifiable badge, two multi-colored condoms, and a squared brown biscuit with ” }}*{{“ printed on it.
“What is this???”, Comet asked.
“A Pook treat..?”, Ember returned in a tone that seemed to say…”DUH!”
Freed from their strange entrapment, Gno and Finch went to Rae and Mrs. D.
“What is this?” Comet asked. She held up a small disc.
“Don’t press that!,” shouted Gno and Finch.
Too late.
Comet had pressed the button. There was a flash, and she passed out immediately.
Ember didn’t even gloat. She just looked at the ground.
“Pook, why did you betray me?” she mumbled softly.
Mrs. D and Finch ran to Comet.
“Is she okay? Oh, my baby!,” Mrs. D. shouted.
“She’ll be alright,” assured Finch. “It was a memory stun device. She will wake up in an hour, but it will take her about a day to regain all of her faculties.” definitely should create that trouble for Comet as we go… or at least a temporary running gag.
“Oh, no
!” Mrs. D. held her daughter.
With a cough, Rae opened her eyes to see the scene before her:
- Comet passed out with Mrs. D and Pook hovering near
- Finch checking Ember's bonds
- The deep black eyes of Gno as he checked her response.
“Hello,” Gno whispered.
Rae blinked.
He placed a soft wad of fabric on her wounded neck.
“Are you alright?”
“Think so…” murmured Rae. POSSIBLE ENDING PLACE NUMBER 1
He threw a look to Finch “I think we should all sleep here tonight to recover, then get the hell out of here. I’ll take first watch,” said Gno.
Finch nodded, as he and Mrs. D. carried Comet to her room.
14.
Rae closed the door behind her, then sat down on her bed. She reached beneath it and pulled out a bright blue box, metallic and shiny.
She pulled the chain she was wearing over her head and opened the large, round locket pendant that hung from it. She shook out the small blue key that it contained, and placed it into the lock on the box.
With a tiny click, it opened.
She pushed some papers and baubles from her childhood out of the way, revealing a stone, nestled on a pillow of blue velvet. The stone was round, and two-toned. One half was opal, the other onyx (or so she assumed from their coloring) and the whole thing had a luminescent quality that made it hard to look away from.
Rae picked it up and held it against her heart. She always felt close to her mother when she did that. When Rae was 5, her mother had left her this stone under her pillow one night with a note that said, "This is the cornerstone. The story of your life is built upon it."
When she awoke the next morning, she found the stone and raced to the kitchen to ask her mother what it was and what the note could mean. But instead, she found her father, with tears in his eyes, reading a note of his own. Mom was gone.
Ray, lanky and bookish, was already frail. The loss of his beloved wife threw him into a violent fever, and for a week it seemed that Rae might lose both parents within this short time frame.
However, he recovered, spurred on by a deep feeling that he could find his love again. From the day he left the hospital, Rae's father became a man possessed. Hopelessly in love, Ray refused to believe that Rhiannon would just leave him and her child. He combed through her letters, emails, and possessions looking for clues to her whereabouts. He consulted the stars, always his guiding lights, and soon, he was convinced that Rhi had returned to her ‘home’...the moon.