by Sylvia Day
But I wanted to see her. Touch her for just a moment. Remind myself that the man I’d been when I’d screwed women like Deanna no longer existed. Never again would the scent of sex turn my stomach and make me scrub my skin nearly raw in the shower.
I was passing through the security turnstiles in the lobby when Raúl escorted Eva through the revolving door, then retreated to his post outside. My wife wore a wine-colored jumpsuit with sky-high heels so delicate I couldn’t see how they stayed on. Her tanned shoulders were bared by thin straps, and gold hoops dangled from her ears. Sunglasses partially hid her face, drawing the eye to the plump mouth that had ringed my cock just hours ago. She carried a nude clutch in her hand and walked across the golden-veined marble with a naturally seductive sway to her hips.
Heads swiveled as she walked by. Some of those gazes lingered to admire her ass.
What would they think if they knew that deep inside her, she was still creamy with my cum? That her nipples were tender from the suction of my mouth and the plump lips of her perfect little cunt were swollen from the friction of my cock sliding through them?
I knew what I thought. Mine. All mine.
As if she felt the heat of that silent demand, her head turned sharply, catching me coming toward her. Her lips parted. I watched her chest lift and fall with a quick intake of breath.
Same here, angel. Like a punch in the gut every time.
“Ace.”
Catching her slender waist in both hands, I pulled her into me and pressed a kiss to her forehead, breathing in the scent of her perfume. “Angel.”
“This is a nice surprise,” she murmured, leaning into me. “Are you heading out?”
“Just wanted to see you.”
She pulled back, her eyes bright with pleasure. “You’ve got it real bad for me.”
“It’s highly contagious. Caught it from you.”
“Oh, did you?” Her laughter flowed over me in a warm rush of love.
“There’s the big man himself,” Steven Ellison said, coming up beside us. “Congratulations, you two.”
“Steven.” Eva turned from me and offered the brawny redhead a hug.
He caught her in an embrace that lifted her feet from the floor. “Marriage looks good on you.”
He released her and shook my hand. “You, too.”
“It feels good,” I said.
Steven grinned. “I can’t wait. Mark’s kept me waiting for years.”
“You can’t keep kicking my ass about that,” Mark said, appearing next to us. He shook my hand, too. “Mr. Cross. Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you joining us for lunch?” Steven asked.
“I wasn’t planning on it, no.”
“You’re welcome to. The more, the merrier. We’re heading to Bryant Park Grill.”
I glanced at Eva. She’d pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head and eyed me expectantly. She gave a little nod of encouragement.
“I’ve got a lot to catch up on,” I said, which wasn’t a lie. I was two days behind. Considering I needed to be ahead before we left for our honeymoon, I’d planned on eating in and working.
“You’re the boss,” Eva said. “You can play hooky if you want to.”
“You’re a bad influence, Mrs. Cross.”
She linked her arm with mine and pulled me toward the door. “You love it.”
I held back, glancing at Mark.
“I know you’re busy,” he said. “But it would be nice if you could come along. I want to talk to you both about something.”
With a nod, I agreed. We exited out to the street, immediately hit with the heat of the day and the sounds of the city. Raúl waited at the curb with the limo, his gaze catching mine before he opened the door for Eva. A glare turned my head, drawing my attention to the telephoto lens of a camera peering at us from a car parked across the street.
I pressed a kiss to Eva’s temple before she slid into the back. She glanced at me, delighted and surprised. I didn’t explain. She’d asked for more photos of us to combat the upcoming release of Corinne’s book. It was no hardship to show my affection for her, regardless of whether that damned tell-all ever saw the light of day.
It was a short drive to Bryant Park. In moments, we were taking the steps up from the street and I was taking a trip back in time, remembering when Eva and I had fought in this very location. She’d seen a photo of me with Magdalene, a woman I considered a longtime family friend but who was rumored to be my lover. I’d seen a photo of Eva with Cary, a man she loved like a brother but who was rumored to be her live-in paramour.
We had both been crazed with jealousy, our relationship too new and stunted by too many secrets between us. I was already obsessed with her, my world tilting on its axis to accommodate her. Even in her fury, she’d looked at me with such love and accused me of not knowing it when I saw it. But I did know. I did see. It terrified me as nothing ever had. And it gave me hope, for the first time in my life.
She glanced at me as we approached the ivy-covered entrance to the restaurant, and I could see she remembered as well. We’d been here more recently, too, when Brett Kline had tried to win her back. She was already mine then, my rings on her fingers, our vows exchanged. We’d been stronger than before, but now … Now, nothing could shake us. We were anchored deep.
“I love you,” she said, as we followed Mark and Steven through the door. The sounds of a popular restaurant inundated us. The clang of silverware against china, the hum of multiple conversations, the barely discernible piped music, and the bustle of a busy kitchen.
My mouth curved. “I know.”
We were seated immediately and a server stopped by right away to take our drink order.
“Should we order champagne?” Steven asked.
Mark shook his head. “Come on. You know I have to go back to work.”
I held my wife’s hand beneath the table. “Ask again when he’s working for me. We’ll celebrate then.”
Steven grinned. “You got it.”
We placed our drink order—flat and sparkling water and one soda—and the server took off to fill them.
“So here’s the thing,” Mark began, straightening in his seat. “Part of the reason Eva quit was because of the LanCorp proposal …”
She preempted him, her mouth curved in a cat-that-ate-the-canary smile. “Ryan Landon offered you a job.”
His eyes widened. “How’d you know?”
She looked at me, then back at him. “You’re not taking it, are you?”
“No.” Mark sat back, studied us both. “It would have been a lateral move. Nothing like the bump I’ll get with Cross Industries. More than that, though, I remembered you telling me that there’s bad blood between Landon and Cross. I looked it up after you quit. Knowing the background, the whole thing wasn’t sitting right—him declining to work with us, then trying to poach me right after.”
“Could be he just wants you, without the agency,” Eva said.
Steven nodded. “That’s what I said.”
As he would, I thought, because he believed in his partner. But it appeared Mark knew better. Eva glanced at me. I clearly saw the I told you so in her gaze. I squeezed her hand.
“You don’t believe that,” Mark countered, proving us both right.
“No,” she agreed. “I don’t. I’ll be honest, I baited them. Told them Gideon and I are very fond of you and look forward to working with you again. I wanted to see if they’d bite. I figured if it was a great offer, I was doing you a favor. And if it wasn’t, no harm no foul.”
He frowned. “But why would you do that? Don’t you want me at Cross Industries?”
“Of course we do, Mark,” I interjected. “Eva was honest with them.”
“I was testing the waters,” she said. “I debated saying something to you, but I didn’t want you to feel awkward if he offered you a great job that you might seriously consider taking.”
“So what do you do now?” Steven asked.
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“Now?” Eva shrugged. “Gideon and I are planning a vow renewal ceremony and then taking off for a long honeymoon. Ryan Landon isn’t a problem that’s going away any time soon. He’ll be around, doing his thing. I just won’t underestimate him. And Mark is going to start a great new job with Cross Industries.”
Eva glanced at me and I knew. Like all of my other battles, Landon wasn’t going to be something I took care of on my own anymore. My wife would be there, doing what she could for me, fighting the good fight.
Mark’s smile flashed white from within the frame of his goatee. “Sounds good to me.”
“Do you want to play naughty secretary again?” Eva whispered.
Her hand was in mine, her other hand cupping my biceps as we entered my office. I glanced at her, enjoying the come-on, and saw the warm laughter in her eyes.
“I do have to work sometime today,” I said dryly.
She winked and released me, dropping dutifully into one of the chairs facing my desk. “How can I be of service, Mr. Cross?”
I was smiling as I hung my jacket on the coatrack. “What do you think about me asking Chris to stand with me at our wedding?”
I turned just in time to see her surprise.
She blinked at me. “Really?”
“Thoughts?”
Sitting back, she crossed her legs. “I’d like to hear yours first, before I give you mine.”
I joined her in the chair beside her rather than taking a seat behind my desk. Eva was my partner, my best friend. We would deal with this, and everything else, side by side.
“After Rio, I was going to ask Arnoldo, once I’d discussed it with you.”
“I’d be okay with that,” she said, and I could see she meant it. “It’s a decision you should make for yourself and not for me.”
“He understands what we have together and that it’s good for both of us.”
She smiled. “I’m glad.”
“Me, too.” I rubbed my jaw. “But after last night …”
“Which part of last night?”
“Dinner with Chris. It got me thinking. Things have changed. And there was something Dr. Petersen said. I just …”
She reached over and took my hand.
I searched for the right words. “I want someone who knows everything to be standing with me when you come down the aisle. I don’t want there to be any pretense. Not for something this important. When we face each other and say our vows again, I need that to be … real.”
“Oh, Gideon.” She slipped out of her chair, crouching beside me at my knee. Her eyes were wet and luminous, like a stormy sky just after a cleansing rain. “You beautiful man,” she breathed. “You don’t even know how romantic you are.”
I cupped her face, my thumbs brushing over the tears that slid down her cheeks. “Don’t cry. I can’t stand it.”
She caught my wrists and surged up, pressing her mouth to mine. “I can’t believe I’m this happy,” she murmured, her lips whispering the words against my skin. “It doesn’t seem real sometimes. Like I’m dreaming, and I’m going to wake up and realize I’m still on the floor in the lobby, looking at you for the first time and imagining all this because I want you so badly.”
I pulled her up and onto my lap, holding her, burying my face in her neck. She could always say what I couldn’t.
Her hands ran through my hair and over my back. “Chris will be delighted.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I held her tighter. “You did this.”
She made everything possible. She made me possible.
“Did I?” she laughed softly, pulling back to touch my face with gentle fingertips. “It’s all you, ace. I’m just the lucky girl who gets a front-row seat.”
Marriage suddenly didn’t seem like enough to safeguard what she meant to me. Why wasn’t there something more binding than a mere piece of paper that gave me the right to call her my wife? Vows were a promise, but what I needed was a guarantee that every day of my life would have her in it. I wanted my heart to beat in rhythm with hers and stop when hers did. Inextricably entwined, so I would never live even a moment without her.
She kissed me again, softly. Sweetly. Her lips so gentle. “I love you.”
I would never tire of hearing that. Never stop needing to hear it. Words, as Dr. Petersen said, that needed to be spoken and heard. “I love you.”
More tears fell. “God. I’m a mess.” She kissed me again. “And you have to work. But you can’t stay late. I’m going to have fun helping you into your tux—and out of it.”
I let her go when she slid away and stood, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
She crossed the room and disappeared into the bathroom. I sat there, not sure I had the strength to stand yet. She weakened my knees, made my pulse race too hard and fast.
“Gideon.” My mother pushed into my office, Scott hot on her heels. “I need to talk to you.”
I rose to my feet and gave a nod to Scott. He retreated, closing the door. The warmth from Eva bled away, leaving me feeling empty and cold as I faced my mother.
She wore dark jeans that fit her like a second skin and a loose shirt she’d tucked in at the waist. Her long black hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her face was bare. Most who saw her would simply see a stunning woman who looked younger than her years. I knew her to be as worn and weary as Chris was. No makeup, no jewelry. It wasn’t like her.
“This is a surprise,” I said, moving into position behind my desk. “What brings you into the city?”
“I just left Corinne.” She marched right up to my desk and remained standing, much as Deanna had only hours before her. “She’s in pieces over that interview you gave yesterday. Completely destroyed. You have to go see her. Talk to her.”
I stared at her, unable to comprehend the way her mind worked. “Why would I do that?”
“For God’s sake,” she snapped, looking at me like I’d lost my mind. “You need to apologize. You said some very hurtful things—”
“I told the truth, which is likely more than can be said about that book she’s publishing.”
“She didn’t know you had a history with that woman … that ghostwriter. She told her editor she couldn’t work with that person as soon as she found out.”
“I don’t care who writes the book. A different author won’t change the fact that Corinne’s violating my privacy and putting something out in the world with the potential to hurt my wife.”
Her chin lifted. “I can’t even talk about your wife, Gideon. I’m upset—no. I’m furious that you would get married without your family, your friends. Doesn’t that tell you anything? That you had to do something so important without the blessing of the people who love you?”
“Are you implying that no one would’ve approved?” My arms crossed. “That’s certainly not true, but even if it were, choosing someone to spend your life with isn’t decided with a majority rule. Eva and I married privately because it was intimate and personal and didn’t need to be shared.”
“But you shared the news with the world?! Before you shared it with your family! I can’t believe you could be so thoughtless and insensitive. You need to make things right,” she said vehemently. “You have to be responsible for the pain you inflict on others. I didn’t raise you this way. I can’t tell you how disappointed I am.”
I caught movement behind her and saw Eva fill the doorway of the bathroom, her face hard with rage, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. I gave her a curt shake of my head, my gaze narrowing with warning. She’d fought this battle enough for me. It was my turn, and I was finally ready.
I hit the controls to opaque the glass. “You don’t get to lecture me about inflicting pain or feeling disappointed, Mother.”
Her head snapped back as if I’d slapped her face. “Don’t take that tone with me.”
“You knew what was done to me. And you did nothing.”
“We’re not talking about this again.” She slashed her hand through the air.
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“When have we ever talked about it?” I bit out. “I told you, but at no point were you open to discussing it.”
“Don’t make this my fault!”
“I was raped.”
The words lashed out and hung in the air, sharp as a blade and raw.
My mother jerked back.
Eva reached blindly for the doorjamb and gripped it hard.
Taking a deep breath to regain a modicum of control, I drew strength from my wife’s presence. “I was raped,” I said again, my voice calmer. Steadier. “For close to a year, every week. A man you invited into your home fondled me. Sodomized me. Over and over again.”
“Don’t.” She breathed harshly, her chest heaving. “Don’t say those ugly, awful things.”
“It happened. Repeatedly. While you were only a few rooms away. He’d be nearly panting with excitement when he showed up. He’d stare at me with this sick gleam in his eyes. And you couldn’t see it. Refused to see it.”
“That’s a lie!”
Fury burned through me, made me restless with the need to move. But I held my ground, my gaze moving to Eva. This time, she nodded at me.
“What’s the lie, Mother? That I was raped? Or that you chose to ignore it?”
“Stop saying that!” she snapped, straightening. “I took you to be examined. I tried to find the proof—”
“Because my word wasn’t enough?”
“You were a disturbed child! You lied about everything. Anything. The most obvious things.”
“That gave me some control! I had no power over anything in my life—aside from the words that came out of my mouth.”
“And I was supposed to just magically divine what was truth and what was a lie?” She leaned forward, taking the offensive. “You were seen by two doctors. You wouldn’t let the one anywhere near you—”
“And have another man touch me there? Can you even grasp how terrifying that thought was to me?”
“You let Dr. Lucas—”
“Ah, yes. Dr. Lucas.” I smiled coldly. “Where did you get his name, Mother? From the man molesting me? Or from your doctor, who was overseeing his dissertation? Either way, he steered you right toward his brother-in-law, knowing the well-respected Dr. Lucas would say anything to protect the reputation of his family.”