by Kate Stewart
“Yeah, I missed ya,” I agreed. “But I think you should know I’m the one leaving next.” I brushed past him as the breeze played with the hem of my long T-shirt.
“Oh yeah? Where are you going?”
“Anywhere. I can’t take it here with her, not anymore. I want to go to college.”
Laz stayed silent, and when I turned to look at him, I saw he was staring at me openly with something new in his eyes.
“You’re beautiful, Red. I knew you would be, but I didn’t think it would hurt so fucking much.” He made two quick strides toward me.
Surprised and confused, I asked, “Why would it hurt?”
Flicking his cigarette, he placed his hand on his chest, rubbing back and forth as he gripped my hip and pulled me closer. “Because when you want something this much, it hurts.” I looked up at him as he smiled down at me. “And it’s time to make you mine.”
I didn’t have time to answer as his mouth descended. I inhaled as he kissed me with hunger and separated my lips to explore with his tongue. I felt my nipples tighten in response to him as I kissed him back. Eager fingertips gripped me tightly to him as I wrapped myself in his need for me. The sensation of his closeness, his tongue, his taste, his touch had me leaning into him, wanting to feel more. He pulled away, placing his forehead on mine. “I missed you. I thought about you every day.”
“You could have written one letter,” I scorned, though his kiss melted every single bit of anger I’d harbored. It was the first time anyone had touched me tenderly in years.
“I couldn’t do it. I knew…” He gripped me even tighter. “I knew I’d fucked up. I knew it would be hard on you with me in there.” He kissed my lips again softly then pulled away and ran a frustrated hand down his face. “Fuck, Red, I was so fucking worried about you, but with every letter you sent, I knew you could handle this without me. You had to.”
“I didn’t want to,” I said tearfully. “Laz, I almost ran away so many times. She’s so much worse now.”
“We will leave,” he said and pulled me back to him. “You believe me, right? I will get you out of here, I promise.”
I nodded into his chest as he tilted my head up at him.
“You have an objection to being my girl?”
I shook my head no.
I didn’t know why he’d decided I was his in his time away, but I was beside myself with the knowledge he wanted me. Still, a large part of me was wary of his words. It seemed liked so much more time had passed since he’d left. The hell I’d had to endure at home and the hundreds of hours I’d spent daydreaming about my escape and starting a better life. None of those dreams had ever included him, and now I felt guilty as to why. He took me by the hand and made his way to our pond.
We sat for hours as he told me of the friends he’d met in juvie. He’d decided not to go back to school and start working with Cedric’s father. Cedric was hell bent on staying out of trouble, and Laz explained he would be keeping his nose clean until he left for the Army.
“He blames me for the bust, Red. He barely spoke to me in juvie. It was my fault.” Somewhere between his guilt for Cedric came his promises to me. “I’ll make some money, and we’ll get the hell out of here, first chance.” He pulled me to him, engulfing me in his arms. “You are the only reason I came back.”
“I am?”
He simply shook his head as if I should’ve known better and promised me again. “As soon as we have enough money, we are gone.”
With all my heart I wanted to believe him. To trust him to help me escape the hell of my mother and the gun toting traffic that had become more frequent in the last year. I clung to Laz until the sun came up and we were forced to separate. He kissed me again—the kind of kiss full of promise and seemed more important than anything else you could do.
That was the night I learned that a promise in a kiss was a lie.
I came to with the blaring of the interior light and the door chime. How I managed to drift off with a full bladder and burning wrists would remain a mystery. I saw the softness in Daniello’s stare as he assessed me and took the driver’s seat. I remained silent on the drive to my house as he kept me tied up like a dog, full of rage and humiliated. As much as I wanted to assault him with an arsenal of choice words, I remained silent as he glanced at me in the rearview. Once inside my garage, he pulled the seat up quickly and started my release. He sat on the edge of the back seat, blocking my exit as I pumped my hands in an attempt to get the blood flowing.
He was expecting an explosion but instead got a stare full of blatant hatred.
“You want me to be sorry. I will not be. You will get no apology from me.” His tone was arrogant, as if he was speaking to a child after time out.
He really had no idea who he had fucked with.
“As soon as I get a gun in my hands, I’ll be using it on you, so I suggest you make your exit, Daniello, and don’t fucking come back.”
He gripped my arm, and I pulled it away with ease. “I explained to you—”
“I’m done,” I seethed. “This isn’t worth the trouble. You are not worth it! Take your fucking watchdog and leave!”
I saw nothing change in his expression as he watched me. “Get out! Get the fuck out!”
He again reached for my hand, and I slapped it away.
“Fucking lies. Jesus, I’m so used to it,” I mumbled, more to myself than to him.
“What are you saying now, woman? More words you do not mean.” He looked bored, which only fueled my anger. I flew at him, fists balled. “Fucking bastard!”
He laughed as he easily dodged my angry fists.
I worked up the best mock accent I could muster. “I will treat you well.” I curled the L in horrid exaggeration as I snarled at him.
He burst out laughing, and I opened my hand and struck him hard in his smug face.
Before I could register movement, my back was flat against the garage wall, and Daniello’s hand was wrapped around my neck.
“You get in the way of my work again, Taylor Ellison, I will not hesitate to end your life, understood?”
“Hey, asshole, I know my ‘south’ accent is funny to you, but I said it pretty clearly, we”—I gestured between us—“you and I are over.” He let go of my neck as I blew past him and ran to my bathroom, slamming the door behind me. My relief was audible as I drained my bladder, my face in my hands. I was sticky from sweating in the car, and my arms were weak. I felt the anger bubble from inside and couldn’t help the small sob that escaped me. I picked up the clock off the shelf beside me and threw it at the wall. I ripped the clothes from me, taking deep breaths to calm myself. Fighting the urge to make good on my threat, I stepped into the shower. More angry tears bubbled and spilled over as I placed my hand on the shower door in an attempt to calm down.
This kind of anger had always been dangerous for me. It reminded me of a time when I’d lose control and lash out without consequence. The result had never been pretty.
I was utterly confused at the arrival of my tears, but it took very little time to remember why.
I’d tried to trust another man with just a small part of myself, and the same thing happened that always happened. I got fucked, lied to, and made to feel unimportant. But I couldn’t entirely blame Daniello. No, this was a sickness I’d started a long time ago with Laz.
I’d always wanted to believe and trust in the wrong type of man.
I heard the bathroom door open and saw Daniello sweep up the glass from my shattered clock before stripping bare and joining me uninvited in the shower. I hid my tear-streaked face under the showerhead, avoiding his eyes.
“Just leave,” I said, defeated. “I don’t trust you, either, and I don’t want to.”
I ignored the large build looming over me, perfectly cut, and completely viral. Nothing about Daniello was subtle. “Those tears are for me, Taylor,” he said, holding my face with one hand while he pushed me gently against the tile.
“My tears are for my stupid
ity, you unbelievable asshole.” He leaned in, his grip tightening as I tried to resist his kiss.
“I will be taking my pussy tonight, Taylor. You fight me, and I will take it anyway. It has been a…rough day,” he admitted, using my words, “and I just need my woman’s legs around me.”
“I’m not yours.” I resisted as he cupped my face, pulling me close. “I’m not your woman.”
“You know that is a lie,” he countered, forcing my eyes to his. “That changed today.”
“We fucked. You got no such confession from me. If you think a good fuck negates my intelligence, think again,” I said tearfully as they continued to fall. Daniello sighed as he released me and dropped to his knees, burying his forehead in my stomach. I froze as his hands began to mold my body with his touch. I gripped his hair hard in an attempt to yank him away from me as he held onto me tight as his touch roamed, tested, teased. Angry at my body, my mind, and the sudden erratic beating of my heart, I protested.
“Stop!” I screamed in anger as weakness seared through me.
“No,” he said simply, lifting me to straddle him as he pulled me out of the shower. I clawed his shoulders, and he completely ignored me.
“CAVE MAN!” Soaking wet and fighting, I screamed as he pushed me on the bed beneath him and held me, wrapping my legs around his waist. He leaned in, taking my lips. I bit his hard, tasting metal.
Pulling back with a roar, he commanded my eyes and made his declaration. “Everything I tell you is for you! Everything I do and do not do is for you! Goddamn it, woman, you have moved me, and I cannot fucking stay away from you! Stop fighting me! I am giving you everything I can give you!”
I stopped my struggle to stare up at him, all fight in me vanishing with the heavy hit of each of his words. Without hesitation, he placed himself at my entrance and pushed inside. Crying out his name as both a curse and prayer, my back arched at the feeling of fullness around his solid cock. My thighs trembled along with the rumble of emotion in my chest as his eyes tore through me and his body slid along mine, powerful, consuming, intoxicating, each stroke a hard hit to my resolve. Gripping his hair, our mouths collided, insatiable with need. With his next thrust, I came so hard I buckled completely beneath him.
Deeper and deeper he consumed me as my freed hands pulled him close and my body tilted, meeting each movement of his hips.
With one last powerful push, he lifted my hips as if to prove his point and poured his hot release inside of me, holding us tightly together. Powerless and so full, I stared up at him as he slowly lowered himself to hover above me.
“When you leave…” I couldn’t bring myself to say the rest. As bad for me as he was, as infuriating and as wrong as the situation had gone, I wanted him. And if our arrangement led me to being just another women whose bedside he left without explanation, then I was asking for warning. My legs still holding him to me, he hovered, his eyes seeing right through me.
“You want to know.”
I nodded.
He pulled away, lying on his back next to me, and lifting my leg by the knee, bringing it over his torso to stroke it.
“Then I will tell you, but you have to tell me something in return.”
Turning my head, I met his eyes as we faced each other on our pillows.
“Why do you feel the need for so much protection?”
A shallow laugh escaped me. “Kind of a ridiculous question coming from a man with blood stains on his shoes and who just threatened my life.”
He didn’t respond as he waited for a worthy answer.
With a sigh, I turned to face him. “I shot my first gun at age nine. I stole it from my father’s bedside and spent an entire summer practicing. And I don’t miss. A gun for me is like lipstick in the purse for any other woman. I can’t explain it any better.”
He remained quiet and turned to stare up at the ceiling fan, still stroking the bend in my leg.
“What about you? What made you decide to be a bad guy?”
He chuckled dryly, his eyes mischievous as he turned back to look at me. “I decided to make myself incredibly wealthy. It came with the job.”
I found it ironic then that I’d fought so hard to leave the life behind to become something other than the gun-slinging misfit I was while my lover bought into the life purposefully.
“We are two completely different people, Daniello,” I mumbled with a long breath. “I fight hard every day to be legitimate, while you effortlessly remain corrupt.”
“And yet we are still a match.”
“Made in hell.” I half-laughed, half-moaned as he rolled himself on top of me. His grin was infectious as his newly hard cock nudged me.
“Tell me, Taylor Ellison, do you think I am the devil?”
“No.” Staring into his etched features, I had no choice but to draw my conclusion. “I think you are his greatest creation.”
Alone again, I dressed and was at the office early. Nina had been taking on more and more clients, and business was thriving. In my early years at Harvard, I’d pictured a career, any career that meant money, security, things I’d never had before. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined being a part of something so lucrative and satisfying. If I had nothing else in my life, I had a career to be proud of. I stared down at the tourists, a cup of coffee in hand, as I wondered what it was like to again be one of them. It was simple, really. Just a few hours touring around Charleston with a couple hundred dollars in my pocket, buying useless but necessary items from the market, hearing the history from one of the many tour guides. It seemed so simple, and yet the thought of going alone saddened me. Nina had grown up here and probably had no interest in doing such a silly thing, but at the same time, I was too embarrassed to ask. For a second, I thought of Daniello and me in a horse-drawn carriage. That happy thought was immediately interrupted by an angry Rocco on the opposite side of the carriage, glaring at me. This brought a fast laughter that rang out through my office.
“There’s something you don’t hear often,” Nina remarked as she joined me at the window. She followed my gaze. “Thinking of finally taking some time off?”
“Soon,” I replied, turning away from our view.
“Taylor, God knows you work your ass off, but let me clue you in. You own half of this company. You employ close to two thousand people. We will survive. I’m sure there is something you can do for a few days.”
If she only knew my only thought was to tour the city I’d lived in for the better part of three years she would probably laugh, or worse, pity me.
“So have you said yes to Devin yet?”
Her eyes narrowed as she sat behind my desk with a sigh.
“No, and I won’t. I said I was never marrying again and I meant it.”
I nodded, knowing it was bullshit. Devin was a magician when it came to Nina, and his brand of magic was suited just for her.
“Knock, knock.” I looked up to see Nina’s younger brother, Aaron, greet us. Nina jumped from her seat in obvious surprise and met him at the door in a long hug. For a split second, my envy got the better of me before I composed myself and smiled.
“Good to see you again, Aaron.” He gave me a warm smile and replied, “You too, Taylor.”
“How long will you be staying?” I asked for Nina’s sake. I knew her little brother meant the world to her.
“A month or so. I want to try some courses here, and Florida is getting pointless.” Aaron was a semi-pro golfer and was recovering from a terrible accident as a result of being too close to Nina’s boyfriend’s psychotic ex-wife. He’d been an innocent bystander to all the events that led up to Nina’s newfound happiness and had almost been a casualty.
“Healed up nicely?” I asked as Aaron’s eyes appraised me as they had the first time we’d met. He was attractive and had an appealing warmth about him. If I were into nice guys, I’d be tempted to learn more.
“Doc says I can ease into it,” he replied as Nina eyed him warily.
“I call bullshit. I’l
l call him myself,” she huffed and grabbed Aarons arm, pulling him out of the office while she addressed me. “See you at our three o’clock. This one should be interesting.” She gave me a wink before pulling a protesting Aaron through my office door. I smiled after the two and silently wished for Amber to call. It had been weeks and still no word. I texted Cedric.
Me: Are you sure it was her who got the message?
Cedric: Still no call?
I didn’t reply. He knew as well as I did it was a long shot and Amber was apparently holding some sort of grudge. Or even worse, she may not wish to know me at all. Still, I hoped for the chance to at least see her. To know my mother hadn’t tainted her to the point she was unrecognizable.
Finishing up my day, I let my mind wander to the last words Daniello said before I drifted to sleep the night before and he again disappeared from my bed. Words I knew he hadn’t meant for me to hear.
“Si che paralizzato?” Who crippled you?
I woke to more angry Arabic and groaned as I looked at the clock and it read 4:00 a.m. Daniello had made another appearance tonight, which did nothing but confuse me further. During dinner, I was sure an apology was on the tip of his tongue but had never made it past his lips. He seemed distracted, and I hadn’t bothered to ask why. All I did know was that his threat to hurt me if I interfered with his business hadn’t been dismissed from my thoughts.
Pushing off the covers, I winced at the soreness between my legs and walked to my dresser. Pulling on a T-shirt and panties, I made my way to the living room to find Daniello at my front door, facing off with Rocco.
The two were whispering heatedly, and as soon as Rocco saw me over Daniello’s shoulder, he narrowed his eyes and pointed in my direction. Daniello all but pushed him out the door before turning to me with reassuring eyes.
“He will not return to your home.”
“Great. And he was never invited in the first place, and neither were you,” I added, starting a pot of coffee in the kitchen.