by Elle Keating
She remembered walking through a department store and the puzzle of all the baseball parks across America had caught her attention. Her dad’s decline had been tough to witness. Some days were worse than others. On his good days he would make it into the kitchen, fix himself a snack and watch some television. On his bad days he just lay in bed, often staring at the ceiling. “My dad was. Practicing medicine and baseball were the two loves of his life,” she said. As if on cue, she felt Mack nudge her leg. “Practicing medicine, baseball, and Mack. How could I forget you, boy?” she said, petting him on his big head.
Mack looked up at her with so much love in his eyes. Whoever said dogs didn’t have souls were out of their minds. And for whatever reason, maybe it was because she was reminded of her dad, she felt herself well up, which was strange. She wasn’t an overly emotional person, never had been.
“Hey, you okay?” he asked, his hand now covering her own. It should have added to the strangeness of the morning, but oddly enough his touch didn’t creep her out. In fact, it made her feel protected and she realized that she had been deprived of this, of human compassion, for far too long.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she said with a forced smile. He looked at her for a few seconds and then removed his hand. She instantly missed his touch, the warmth. As soon as they finished breakfast she cleared their plates and deposited them into the sink while he cleaned up the island in what felt like seconds. “Wow, you’re fast,” she said.
“Not something you want to say to a guy,” he said with a naughty grin.
She gave him a playful punch to the arm. “Not what I meant and you know it.” She appreciated his off-color remark as it lightened the mood. That was until she caught the time on the microwave and her eyes grew wide “Shit. I gotta get moving. I have to be at work in less than an hour and I still need to shower.”
His gaze dipped below her chin and she felt the blood rush to her cheeks. She wasn’t wearing anything revealing, sporting an oversized shirt and pajama pants, but she just realized that she was braless. And her nipples picked that very moment to pierce her shirt and prepare to cut glass if needed. His eyes heated and he bit his lower lip. Luckily, Mack wandered over to him and sat at his feet, his tail wagging. Brennan cleared his throat. “Well, thanks for the flour,” he said. He bent over and scratched Mack between the ears.
“Thank you for the delicious breakfast.”
“It’s what friends do,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. He backed away a few steps and bumped into her coffee table. He stumbled before he caught himself, which she found both endearing and sexy. Because he probably prided himself on being put together, suave, around the ladies. And here he was being… normal.
No, this wasn’t normal. He was Brennan McGinnis, millionaire, ex-reality television star, playboy. Not her type, not anymore.
“Have a good day,” he said with a smile that made her want to take back what she had said last night.
Because how the hell was she going to be able to remain just friends with this man?
Anna watched him leave and then retreated to her dining room table. She sipped her coffee and peered at the puzzle. And remembered the last time she and her dad had worked on it…
Seven months ago
“How about some tea, Dad?” Anna asked, making her way over to the stove. She didn’t expect him to answer her. He had provided one-word answers here and there over the past several weeks but wasn’t interested in engaging in conversation. She didn’t press him. He knew he was dying and now his estranged daughter had agreed to move into her old childhood bedroom and take care of him in his final days. This was tough on both of them.
“Anna… sit with me… please.”
She stopped and turned. Her dad did not meet her gaze. Instead his head was bowed, but she was confident that he wasn’t focused on the puzzle pieces laid out before him. His right hand trembled slightly while the fingers on his left twiddled with a solitary puzzle piece. Anna went to the table and took a seat across from him. After over a minute of silence, she picked up a puzzle piece and attempted to connect it to what she believed would be part of Yankee Stadium when she heard him clear his throat and say, “You don’t have to stay here. I can afford a nurse.”
“Is that what you want? For me to leave?” she asked.
“It’s what I deserve.” He briefly glanced at her before his eyes settled back on the dining room table. He may be right, but she wasn’t going to let him off easy.
“Why did you have that nurse call me then? Why inform me at all?”
“Because I’m selfish and weak. I needed to see you one last time… to finally admit that it was all my fault. And because of what I did, I lost Tim and your mother… and you. I lost my entire family because I was an unfaithful husband, one who didn’t appreciate what he had.”
He covered his face with one hand as the other hand gripped that puzzle piece. A sob escaped him and his shoulders shook. She had never seen him look so helpless, so broken. He had confirmed what she had suspected, that he had cheated on her mom, his family, but it was still difficult to hear.
“I took the easy way out, the cowardly way out and blamed a twelve-year-old girl for the consequences of my infidelity. When you left for college, I thought I would be able to finally breathe again, because your presence up until then suffocated me, reminding me of the kind of man, if you could even call me that, I was. But you leaving didn’t help, didn’t make me forget, didn’t stop me from wanting to end things. I had come close a few times, one night in particular. I had waded out into the ocean, first to my knees. I had been drinking, but the memory of that night was crystal clear in my mind and why I wandered out farther until the water was chest level. I looked up to the sky, told God I was sorry and drifted out until the water was above my head. I let the ocean swallow and take me under. With my eyes closed, I tried to clear my mind, but you were all I saw, and what made me come up for air and swim to the shore. I decided that night I would never try to end my life again, because I didn’t deserve an easy way out.”
Anna didn’t know why he had chosen this moment after so many weeks of silence to unload on her, this burden that he carried in his heart, but she was glad that he had. She reached across the table and covered his hand with hers. He dropped the puzzle piece and laced his fingers with hers. “I’m sorry, Anna. I can’t go back in time and change things, but…”
“No, you can’t,” she said. He sniffed and looked at her. He didn’t even try to hide the tears that had begun to fall. “But we can start over and get to know each other again.”
“You would do that?” he asked, his eyes wide.
“I’m here, aren’t I?” She squeezed his hand. “Even if you told me to leave, I wasn’t going anywhere,” she said.
“You’ve always been stubborn,” he said, giving her a smile she hadn’t seen in over a decade.
“Just like someone I know.”
They didn’t end the conversation with a hug and a promise that everything would be okay. But it wasn’t necessary. Because they understood that they both needed each other right now.
Chapter Twelve
Brennan
Brennan stared at his opponent, if that was what he could call him. The few punches he had gotten in occurred because Brennan had allowed them. A shot in the ribs and one to the face. Brennan had known it was going to be a waste of his time, but he had called Tony anyway and asked him to arrange a fight.
Fuck! Tony had to start bringing in better competition, because what the hell was he going to do?
Brennan had cut out of work early because he couldn’t concentrate, because one particular redhead was messing with his mind. Yesterday morning had played on a loop in his head. Eating breakfast at her dining room table, chatting like actual friends, recognizing the sadness in her eyes when she spoke about her dad. His passing was enough to make her melancholy, but he suspected something else invoked the tears that she had fought to hold back. And he wanted to know what it wa
s. He had never wanted to dig deeper where women were concerned, didn’t care enough, as he was only interested in taking them to bed. But with Anna, yes, he wanted her in his bed, but he knew having sex with her wouldn’t be enough. He was somehow certain of that, and that pissed him off so much so that it had driven him to the ring tonight. It was either fight or find someone to fuck and he just couldn’t do the latter. Guilt clawed at his stomach whenever he thought about going to one of his old stomping grounds and picking up a woman.
Brennan collected his money, told Tony that his last two fights had been shit and went home. It was past midnight when he pulled into the driveway. He got a quick shower and was on his way into the kitchen to make himself a sandwich when he received a text:
“Are you awake?”
He stared at Anna’s text for over a minute before he responded:
“Yes. What’s up?”
One word appeared on his screen seconds later:
“Good.”
His eyebrows knitted together as he stared at her text:
“Anna, are you okay?”
Brennan leaned against the wall and waited for her response. A minute went by and then another. And he grew concerned. He was just about to call her when he heard a knock at the door. He answered it and found Anna on his stoop holding what looked like two coffees and a white paper bag. “Oh my god! What did you do to your face?”
He had caught a glimpse of his ugly mug in his bathroom mirror and knew in an instant that he would have a nice shiner tomorrow. It was already puffy and throbbing like it had its own heartbeat. Anna brushed past him, set the coffees and bag down on an end table and hurried over to him. Like she had the first time they met, she took him by the chin and inspected his left eye. “Don’t tell me. Boxing?”
“Boxing,” he lied.
Doubt radiated off her in waves.
“Sit down.”
He had never let a woman boss him around, but for some reason when Anna gave him a directive he found that to be incredibly sexy. “Yes, ma’am,” he said, taking a seat on the couch.
She disappeared into his kitchen and when she returned, she had a bag of frozen peas in her hands. She climbed onto the couch and pressed the bag to his face. “I’m calling bullshit,” she said.
“Excuse me?”
“Where is this gym you belong to?”
“Fitness Zone on the Boulevard.”
“Oh really. That’s interesting.” Uh-oh. He didn’t like the look she was giving him. “A water main broke right outside of that gym this morning. Saw the deluge on my way to work. They had to shut the gym down.” He closed his eyes as he tried to conjure up a believable excuse as to why he just lied out his ass. “What’s going on, Brennan?”
“Why are you here, Anna?”
“I was bringing over some cannoli as a thank you for yesterday’s breakfast… and I thought you would like a late-night snack.” She took the bag of peas from him and set it aside. “Why are you lying to me? Who hit you?” What could he say without sounding like some kind of animal? “You know what? Forget it. I thought we were friends,” she said, enunciating it in a way that made him feel both guilty and pissed.
“Anna, wait.” He grabbed her wrist and she froze. “I kind of belong to, well a… fight club.”
“A fight club? Like the kind in the movie with Brad Pitt? You want me to believe that you voluntarily fight men and beat the shit out of each other?”
“It’s not like that, not exactly. Just some guys who want to blow off some steam…”
“And beat the shit out of each other,” she finished. “Where is this place?”
“The location changes each time.”
“Because it’s illegal,” she said.
“I don’t keep the money I win. I donate it, every last penny.”
“Then if you don’t do it for the money, then why?”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
“What do you do when you’re… on edge?”
“Go for a run, play Mahjong on my phone, eat crap I shouldn’t.”
“I haven’t played Mahjong, but I’ve tried the other two. And they don’t work. Nothing works. Not booze, not television, or working out. Not even cooking. Only two things have curbed it.”
“What are they?”
“Fighting and fucking.”
She sucked in a breath as her face turned fire engine red. His eyes went straight to those pouty lips of hers and damn it if she didn’t just lick them. “What has you so on edge?”
For the love of God.
“Anna, I think you should leave.”
“Why?”
“Because we’re friends.”
“And friends tell each other things.”
“Look at me. Are you seeing friendship in my eyes right now?” he asked, cupping her face.
She leaned in until they were just inches apart. “Promise me that we’ll go back to being friends,” she said. He searched her eyes. “Swear to me.” He barely was able to nod before his lips crashed into hers. She groaned into his mouth as he flipped her to her back. He kissed her neck as she arched into him, as his hand slid beneath her shirt and palmed her breast. He pinched her nipple and she gasped. Too many clothes. He sat back just enough so he could do away with her shirt and his. And then he had her nipple in his mouth while he kneaded the other between his fingers. His cock was a steel shaft between his legs as he ground against her. With only a pair of mesh shorts and her yoga pants between them, he could feel her heat. Her hand made its way from his chest to his abs and then lower. Somehow, he had the strength to shift away from her. He took both her hands and lifted them over her head.
“If you touch me, then I won’t be able to keep my promise.” And that was the truth. If this went too far, then he wouldn’t be able to go back to being just friends with her.
“Please, Brennan… let me…” He brushed her clit through her soaked panties with his thumb, successfully cutting her off. Her breathless pants, the way she writhed beneath him had him pushing her panties to the side and slipping a finger into her slick heat. She was so fucking tight. He gently added another finger.
“Are you going to come for me, baby?” He hooked his fingers just so and she dug her nails into his shoulders. Screaming his name, she clenched around his fingers. He imagined what it would feel like to be inside her, bare, something he had never done with a woman. “That’s it, Anna. Let go,” he said, watching her become unhinged because of him, his touch.
It took a few seconds for her to come back down to earth and when she did, he had never seen her look so beautiful. Her lips swollen, her red hair a tangled mess, her cheeks flushed, her breathing still slightly labored. He wanted to kiss her, make her fall apart all over again but this time while he was deep inside her.
But that dreamy, post-orgasmic look on her face morphed into something else, and it gutted him. He eased off her and put his shirt back on. She did the same. It was awkward and not at all what he was used to. He may not spend the night after sleeping with a woman, but he would always hold them for a while afterward. And even though he and Anna hadn’t technically slept together, he still had the overwhelming need to cradle her in his arms right now. But that couldn’t happen. She wanted friendship. That was it. They had just gotten caught up in the moment.
He stood and retrieved the white bag and looked inside. “Mind if I have one?”
“No… not at all.” He handed one to her. “I’ll take my coffee and cannoli to go. Got to get back to Mack.”
She was on her way to the front door when he began, “Anna…”
“I won’t make this weird if you won’t.”
Her words stung and for the first time in his life he felt dirty, even though he had agreed to what they had done, knew beforehand that there couldn’t be anything more.
“Goodnight, Anna.”
Chapter Thirteen
Anna
“Thanks for the cannoli.”
Anna s
tared at Brennan’s text, which came in over a minute ago. How does one respond to that?
You’re welcome and by the way, thanks for the orgasm last night?
Seriously. What the hell could she say? She had come home, barely remembering letting Mack out to pee and then somehow ended up in bed. She had tossed and turned for hours, thinking about what had happened, what she had let happen and initiated. His mouth on her nipples, his hand between her legs. She hadn’t had an orgasm in close to a year and she was certain that Brennan and his neighbors knew that very sad fact.
Anna padded out to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. She was parched and her throat felt a little scratchy. She chalked it up to dehydration and took a quick shower in hopes that it would wake her up. She was dragging and it hadn’t helped that she had only clocked a few hours of sleep last night.
Anna left for work, but with each passing hour she could tell something was off. That scratchy throat turned into a sore one and the tiredness she had linked to a shitty night’s sleep was now full-on fatigue. And then the stomach pains started. By midafternoon, she had waved the white flag and decided to suck it up and swab herself. All the telltale signs were there. The rapid test came back positive for strep and she cursed like a sailor.
“Hey, Anna. Everything okay?”
She glared at her positive test and then at Jeff. She and Jeff hadn’t crossed paths that much since their one and only date, which she was thankful for. “Looks like I have strep. Guess I’ll be heading home.”
“Oh, that sucks.”
“Yep.”
“But look at the bright side. You can binge watch Marvel movies for days. So jealous!”
She flashed him a tired smile and went to the pharmacy where she grabbed antibiotics, some ibuprofen and vitamin C tablets. She told her colleagues that she would be out for the next few days at least and then she was out the door.
The drive home nearly did her in. She was so tired and it didn’t help that a fever had set in, leaving her cold one minute and sweating bullets the next. She threw herself into the shower, took her antibiotic, dragged her pillow and blanket to the couch and turned on the television. Moments later, her phone dinged on the coffee table. It was just six inches from her head but it felt like miles. Just reaching for it hurt. Everything ached. She looked at her phone and was surprised to see that she had three texts, all from Brennan. She hadn’t responded to his cannoli text so maybe that was why he was blowing up her phone. She swiped to the top and read them in order.