If he’d married a high-ranking royal from another feline nation, she would have come to court with a full entourage of guards and ladies who were loyal to her above all else. Though her entire royal guard was executed after the kidnapping, not one of them confessed to betraying her and letting it happen. Still, ocelots were superstitious, and there had been murmurs that if he’d chosen wisely, disaster could have been prevented.
“So, how do the amulets know who you’re supposed to marry?” I asked Camila. “And do you have to marry who they choose?”
“They only choose the clan,” she said. “I would get to choose who amongst the clan members was most suitable.”
“Sounds very clinical,” I said.
Lord Balam chuckled. “Trust me, there’s nothing clinical about shifter mating. We are animals, after all.”
“Some people more than others,” Camila said, folding hands primly and looking about as far from an animal as was humanly possible.
“Do you get any clues before the amulets are pieced together?” I asked. “Or is there anyone you’re hoping for?”
“It would be pointless to speculate,” she said. “Tradition dictates that I choose the clan the amulets show. It doesn’t matter what I want or expect.”
“So you’d be happy with anyone?” I asked.
“I’m sure I could find someone in every clan who would satisfy our people.” Her eyes moved to Shadow, and a grimace of distaste twisted her pretty face. “Except maybe a panther.”
“You should be so lucky,” Shadow growled.
Thirty-Four
Camila turned pleading eyes my way, obviously wanting me to defend her as I had all our lives. The urge to defend my sister was as much a part of me as my own humanity. No one talked bad about Camila, especially not a man who had never bothered to get to know her. Shadow had hated her from the start for no other reason than I’d given her the amulet.
“What are you saying?” I demanded, twisting sideways to stare him dead in the eye. “I’m sorry that you still feel some misplaced sense of loyalty to them, but in case you forgot, your people would have killed you, Shadow.”
“I was the one being disloyal,” he said, his head dropping in shame, his hair swinging over his face.
“Yeah, well, what about my mother? Was she being disloyal when panther rebels dragged her from her bed and ate her alive?”
“Bull. Shit,” Shadow rasped.
Blood pounded in my ears as anger pulsed inside me until I couldn’t see straight. “What?”
“That never happened.”
“Don’t you dare defend panthers to me,” I said, my voice shaking with rage. I wanted to throw him from the moving helicopter, to rip into him with razor claws and slaughter him the way his people had done my mother.
“Panther ‘rebels’ are refugees who sought asylum in your country,” he said. “When your father wouldn’t let them in, they snuck in at night and were shot down by your people.”
“That’s what happens when you enter a country illegally,” Camila said, raising her chin and staring down her nose at Shadow.
“I wouldn’t know,” he said. “I never set foot in the Ocelot Nation. When the boats got close to the coast, your people started shooting. Some of the boats were hit. I was pulled into another boat and pushed into the bottom with some other children. The next day, we started back. We didn’t eat for three days, until we got home. A few days after that, I found out that my parents had swam to shore and hidden in the jungle until they were hunted down and shot.”
My stomach twisted, and my fingers began to shake. “I’m sorry,” I said, feeling about as big as a pile of shit after going off on him. I started to reach for him, but Camila captured my hand, squeezing my fingers in hers.
“It doesn’t change what your people did to our mother,” she said.
“Panthers never made it anywhere near your precious palace,” Shadow said.
“How would you know?” she demanded. “You weren’t there, and you said you were just a kid. It’s not like your people would tell you they’d eaten our queen.”
“They didn’t,” Shadow growled.
“Fine,” Camila said, crossing her arms over her chest. “If you’re so all-knowing, who killed our mother? If it wasn’t rebels, then who was it?”
“I don’t know,” Shadow admitted. “I just know it wasn’t us.”
“How do you know?” I insisted, my eyes narrowing at him. “Do you have some kind of oracle in your clan? You said you have a shaman.”
I wanted him to know for sure, to give us answers. In truth, I didn’t want it to be his people that had killed my mother. I didn’t want it to be anyone. I wanted her to be alive.
“I just know,” Shadow said quietly.
“You’re in denial,” Camila said. “You can’t know, can you? No one from your clan saw something in a magic crystal ball that doesn’t exist. You just don’t want to admit what you’re capable of. For all we know, it was your parents who killed her.”
This time, my stomach dropped so fast I thought I’d puke. What Camila said was true. His parents had invaded our country. It could have been them. No matter what I wanted, it didn’t change the fact that my mother was dead, and she wasn’t coming back. And I was sleeping with someone from the clan that had murdered her, maybe the son of her murderers. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe.
“I’m sorry about your mother,” Shadow said after a minute. “I wish I could tell you who it was, or what happened.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said at last. “I’m sure there are political murders in every country. Maybe it was a panther rebel and maybe it wasn’t. I guess we’ll never know for sure.”
“Maybe we could,” Lord Balam said. “I could try. The oracle doesn’t always tell me what I want to know. It has a mind of its own, and it doesn’t always like to talk about the past. Or the future, for that matter. But I could try.”
“Really?” I asked, sitting up straight.
“If you can give me any details first, that would help,” he said. “If there’s anyone who might have wanted the queen dead. Your father never remarried, so it seems doubtful a mistress would have gone to all that trouble if she wasn’t sure she’d be elevated to queen. But if he had a particularly volatile relationship with one, or perhaps one who might have thought he’d marry her…”
“My father is not that kind of king,” Camila said icily, her fingers digging into the arms of her chair so hard her knuckles went white. “There were no mistresses in the castle when my mother was alive. She wouldn’t have it.”
“It’s true,” I said with an apologetic shrug. “My father has plenty of women around now, but he was entirely devoted to our mother. She’s probably the only person he’s ever loved more than himself.”
“His True Mate,” Shadow murmured.
“Was she?” Lord Balam asked. “His True Mate, I mean?”
I turned to Camila. “I mean, she must have been, right? I assumed she was, but if it’s that rare… Could the amulet have shown him a woman who wasn’t a True Mate?”
“Any shifter can have a True Mate,” she said, looking uncomfortable. “Not just feline shifters. It’s so rare, though, that some people don’t even believe it exists anymore. It was something primitive, necessary when we were hidden from humans and other supernaturals. Ocelots use the amulet to find a mate to fall in love with. This True Mate thing is so rare, Itzel. No one has one anymore.”
“So, they weren’t True Mates.”
“No, they weren’t. No one is. That’s why the panther amulet didn’t work for Sir Kenosi, and why it wouldn’t work for any one of us here. We don’t have True Mates anymore. We have Furry Finders, and Chase That Kitty, and all the other online dating apps to find someone compatible.” She gestured to Sir Kenosi as she named his dating apps, and he nodded slowly, watching me as if he expected me to contradict her.
I turned back to Lord Balam and shrugged. “I’m sorry. I don’t know anyone who would h
ave wanted my mother dead. She was beloved by the people—even more so than King Ocelot.” I stopped there, not wanting to say something in front of Camila and Gabor. Even now, I had to always remember that ocelot loyals were in our presence. I didn’t think either of them would accuse me of treason when we got home, but I couldn’t count on Camila to always have my back anymore. I trusted Gabor to protect me, but that was because I was part of the Ocelot Court. If I wasn’t part of that, he would owe me nothing. He had basically already chosen his nation and his people over me, and I didn’t hold that against him. But I knew better than to say something ugly about the king in their presence.
“I’ll see if I can find out anything,” Lord Balam said, nodding. He had seen Father’s “popularity” with his own eyes, and he’d heard me talk about it enough to read between the lines.
“Thank you,” I said, wishing I could hug him. I hadn’t even thought to ask him. But then, why would I? I’d never had a reason to doubt the story I’d heard all my life, that panthers had killed and eaten our mother.
“When I’m queen, I’ll have twenty guards outside every window in the palace to make sure no one ever breaks in again,” Camila said.
I had no doubt my sister would do just that if she could find enough guards who met her standards. If possible, she was even more paranoid than Father about betrayals within her court. After what happened with our mother, they had every reason to be cautious. Now that Shadow had planted a seed of doubt in my mind, I was starting to feel a little paranoid myself. What if it hadn’t been panthers? What if one of the guards or another royal had killed our mother? If so, did Father know? He might. A cover-up was the kind of thing he might do—execute the traitor on the spot and hide the assassination, blaming our enemies so no one would realize how easily it could be done. After all, if a guard could get the queen, maybe they could get the king next.
“You must not trust your people very much,” Shadow muttered.
Camila glared. “I don’t trust your people. Who knows when they’ll try to invade again.”
Shadow glowered.
“Speaking of, where’s the panther amulet you stole from me?” she asked. “Are you going to return that?”
“We didn’t steal it,” I said. “We traded its use for the Cheetah Amulet. He has it.”
“You gave it to me,” she said, narrowing her eyes at Shadow. “You can’t take it back.”
I turned to find Shadow leaning almost over my shoulder, his stance that of someone on alert, ready to pounce. “Whoa,” I said, pushing him back before he could leap over me and attack my sister.
“I gave it to Itzel,” he said, his eyes locked on Camila.
“I’d like it back,” Camila said, lifting her chin.
Shadow held her gaze while he reached into his shirt, yanked off the amulet, and deposited the crystal amulet in my palm. Camila’s nostrils flared, and I thought she was about to slap him.
“What would happen if I opened it?” I said. “Nothing, right?” I thumbed the smooth surface absently. Without warning, it popped open as if loaded with a spring. Pain seared up my arm, and I yelped and grabbed my forearm. The three men sitting closest to me slapped their shoulders in unison, as if swatting a hornet that had just stung them. Gabor grabbed for the gun in his holster.
Thirty-Five
Camila jumped up, her eyes wide. “Close it,” she screamed. “What are you doing?”
“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” I said, frantically pressing it to get the top closed again. “I didn’t think it would just shoot open like that. Oh my god, what do I do?”
Lord Balam stared at me, his mouth gaping. Kenosi crossed his arms, watching me from hooded eyes. Gabor’s eyes were flying around the circle, from me to Camila to the three men seated with us. Only Shadow looked unruffled, a grave expression on his face.
“What the fuck just happened?” I asked him. It was his amulet. Of course he wasn’t surprised by whatever magic was still pulsing up my arm like a hot brand. Humans didn’t have magic. That didn’t mean it didn’t affect us.
“So, now you know,” he said, looking almost sad.
“Know what?” I asked, glancing around at all the stunned faces.
“You’re my mate, Itzel.”
“What?” Camila spluttered. “That’s not possible. She’s a human, and you’re—you’re…” She trailed off, her face crimson.
“I know,” he said quietly.
She turned her wide eyes to me. “Itzel, he’s a panther.”
She said the word like it was dirty, and I didn’t miss the way Shadow flinched.
“I know,” I said, lifting my chin to her, refusing to back down. Yes, I still had my own misconceptions about panthers to get past, but that was not even close to my main concern right now. Shadow had done nothing but protect us both, even though he and Camila obviously despised each other. He’d protected her—for me.
I turned to Shadow. “You knew?”
He nodded, his eyes downcast.
I took his hand, lacing my fingers through his. “Since when? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I opened the amulet the morning…after,” he said.
I knew he didn’t like to speak of the night in the swamp when he’d chained me to his bed, but I had to know. “Why then? Don’t you usually have a ceremony or something?”
“We don’t follow the old traditions anymore,” he said. “There is no ceremony. I don’t know how long it had been since anyone opened it. A few years, at least.”
“But you wanted to open it before you gave it away,” I said, nodding.
“No,” he rasped. “I already suspected. I felt an unnatural pull to be with you, and I didn’t think it was the jaguar potion.”
Lord Balam cleared his throat.
“It’s not possible,” Camila said before he could speak. “Our True Mates aren’t human. They can only be other shifters—other feline shifters.”
“I don’t know how it happened,” Shadow said. “I only know what I saw. My instinct told me it was right. Maybe because there are so few panthers, our mates have to be something else.”
“Princess Itzel was born to two shifters,” Gabor said, as if that might explain it.
“What are you saying?” Camila demanded, crossing her arms. “That Itzel is human, but she’s magically going to save the panther race by making panther babies?”
Well, fuck. This was what happened when you slept around with shifters. No wonder the different species didn’t like to mix.
“Hold up,” I said, lifting a hand. “It’s one thing to be magically bound to a shifter even though I’m human, and we don’t have True Mates. But I am absolutely not going to be anyone’s baby factory.”
“I don’t expect that,” Shadow growled, his eyes narrowing at my sister.
My head was spinning with all this new information, and a weird fuzzy feeling was taking over my brain. When I turned my head, light tracers shimmered in the corners of my eyes. “Shadow,” I said. “If you knew all that time that I was your mate, why didn’t you tell me? You let me be with other men. You don’t care?”
“I care that you’re happy,” he said. “I told you before. A True Mate wants nothing more than to please his mate. When I see that you are happy, I am happy.”
I fought to swallow, squeezing his hand to anchor myself. “But why didn’t you tell me?”
He dropped my gaze, studying our linked hands and running his thumb gently across my knuckles. “I wanted you to make the decision yourself,” he said. “I was going to tell you once… I hoped we would grow close naturally.”
I leaned in to kiss his cheek, but dizziness made me almost topple to the floor. His long arms wrapped around me, steadying me. “Thank you,” I said, clinging to his neck.
“You should lie down,” he said. “It takes a few hours for it to wear off.”
“Give me the amulet,” Camila said, holding out a hand.
I’d forgotten I still held it clutched in my free hand. I held it out
to her, depositing it in her palm. “I’m sorry,” I muttered. “Don’t open it. It hurts.”
My entire arm seemed to be pulsing with fire, as if the sleeve of my cardigan would burst into flame at any moment.
“Well, this is one way to enter the Lion Nation,” Sir Kenosi said.
“Drugged is better than infected,” I said, laying my head on Shadow’s shoulder and closing my eyes. I wanted to ask more, to find out how I could be mated to a shifter, but it would have to wait. I only knew that for now, I was content to be Shadow’s mate. His long, ropy arms wound around me, and he pressed his lips to the crown of my head.
When he’d come with us, when he’d fought his own clan for someone he’d only just met, I had wondered. It hadn’t made sense to me. Now it did.
If I hadn’t trusted him before, that was because I hadn’t known. All along, he had been willing to fight for me, to die for me, because I was his mate. Now I knew he would do anything to protect me, and I trusted him completely. I may not be a shifter, but I knew what it meant to them. I knew that he wouldn’t betray me, no matter what his people had done.
Panthers may hate ocelots, but he didn’t hate me. And I didn’t hate him, either. I didn’t feel the True Mate bond in the way that a shifter might, but I felt closer to him, nonetheless. Trust and compassion had bloomed inside me. I liked that he hadn’t told me, that he’d come with me and waited, hoping I’d fall in love with him instead of claiming me or pressuring me into being his alone.
I nuzzled into his neck, inhaling the green smell of him, like dewy grass on a cool morning. My mind wrapped around him, seeing every inch of him, though my eyes were closed. He became so vivid I could see every individual strand of hair streaming down his shoulders, the smoothness of his brown cheeks, every fleck in his magnetic green eyes. I could see the straightness of his noble nose, the line of his serious mouth, the hint of muscles in his slender but strong body. The cut of his narrow hips, the hard muscles in his long arms, the definition in his tall frame. I could perfectly picture each of his dark nipples, his long, smooth cock, his long legs down to each individual toe on his brown feet. I could picture a glowing mark on his bicep that hadn’t been there before, a cat’s paw with claw marks above it, lit with the silvery-white glow of the moon. I’d never seen one, but I knew instinctually what it was. His True Mate mark. A mark I had given him.
Captive Princess: A Dark Paranormal Romance (Feline Royals Book 2) Page 17