“I just think of someone, and they appear?”
“More or less,” he said. “More powerful people can summon you if they wish. But usually, a mutual desire to see each other is enough.”
Kwame stepped through as if the wall were nothing but air. I balked, expecting to smack my forehead against it, but instead, I moved through without so much as a hair on my head being disturbed.
We stepped into a large yet cozy room with a stone wall opposite us, a fireplace burning in the center of it. Brown leather couches and chairs sat facing the fire, and a thick woolen rug covered the floor. A woman sat on the sofa, a stack of thick leather tomes on the end table beside her and a lamp burning beside them. For one horrifying moment, I was sure that if I looked too close, I’d see someone else. But it was her. It was my mom.
“Mom?” I whispered, not daring to hope but not able to stop myself. My heart was pounding so hard I couldn’t even think. Could she hear me? Speak to me?
“Itzel.” She shot to her feet and rushed at me.
“Mom,” I cried, dropping Kwame’s hand and leaping toward her. I crashed into her arms so hard the breath was knocked out of me. Relief crushed me with painful force when my arms circled her, clinging tightly to her solid form. For a second, I’d been sure my arms would cut right through her, that she’d be nothing but an illusion.
“It’s you,” I said, relishing the bruising force with which we both held on. “It’s really you. I never thought I’d see you again.”
“I hoped I wouldn’t,” she said, detangling herself and holding me away. “At least not yet.” Her eyes were sad as she searched my face. She looked exactly as I remembered her—exactly as she’d been before she died. Kindness pooled in her big brown eyes as she stroked my wavy black hair, so much like hers, behind my ears. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“Neither should you,” I said, sliding my hands over hers, not wanting to let go of her in case she disappeared when I did.
“What happened?” she asked, sorrow weighing on her strong features. “How are you here?”
“I’m not dead,” I said. “Prince Kwame said I could come to visit and then go back.”
“I know you’re alive. Did he tell you the rules of moving between worlds?” she asked, her voice tight with fear.
“No.” I turned to confront Kwame, but there was no one behind me. Damn it. I’d known it sounded too good to be true, but I hadn’t been able to resist seeing Mom and Tadeu. I could tell from Mom’s voice that had been a mistake.
“You’re in grave danger,” Mom said, grabbing both my hands and squeezing. “You must get back. If anything happens to your body while you are here…”
“I’ll never get back,” I finished, swallowing hard.
Fucking Kwame.
Mom’s lips tightened, her eyes soft with concern. “You must go back at once.”
“But I just got here,” I said. “I’ve barely seen you. Mom, I have so much to ask you.”
“As do I,” she said. “But your life is more important. There is one thing I must tell you. Beware of the men in your life.”
I drew back in surprise. “Which men? Kwame? Shadow and Balam? Can you see us in our world? Do you watch over us?”
“All men,” she whispered. “Now, go. Find Kwame and go.”
“It was worth it to see you even for a minute,” I said, throwing my arms around her again.
“It was,” she agreed softly. “You’ve grown up so beautifully, Itzel.”
“How do I get back?”
“Kwame is a bridge,” she said. “That is someone who moves between worlds. He can take you back.”
“Where is he?”
“We’ll find him,” she said, gripping my hand. “I don’t know how much time we have. Where did you leave yourself in the human world?”
I swallowed hard, my throat aching with the effort. “Out in the open,” I said. “With lions.”
Mom shuddered, her fingers going cold in mine. “You have to get back.”
“Is Tadeu here?” I asked, feeling greedy for wanting more but unable to keep myself from the thought of him. If I wanted hard enough, would he appear, too? Could I apologize to him, be with him for even a moment, long enough to make peace?
“I don’t know,” Mom said, shaking her head. “There are many here.”
“I have to see him before I go.”
“You don’t have time.”
“I do,” I said, a flicker of anger going through me. If everyone in the spirit world knew I was here, and he saw me leave without even attempting to contact him…
No. I wouldn’t leave without seeing him.
I pulled my hands from Mom’s and pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes as if I could push the tears back into my eye sockets. According to Kwame, I could bring Tadeu here with just my thoughts. My love, the man whose death had set all this in motion. He’d opened my eyes to what my father really was, to the monster ruling our nation. If it hadn’t been for his death, I might have lived in comfort in the castle while my sister went on her tour. I had vowed his death wouldn’t be in vain.
I called to him, my chest aching with the need for his wide, smiling face and his rough humor. He had taught me that even a mere human could have value. He had taught me about love, about life, and how it felt to be a woman. I’d planned to elevate him in status, to show our world that humans could have important roles in our government, too.
Suddenly, I felt his powerful, bright energy connecting to my own. I’d found him! My heart swelled with love and excitement, and my eyes opened, laughter coming through my tears at the thought of seeing him again. The man I’d loved all my life was here. I could feel him.
And then something yanked tight inside me, as if I’d been drawing him to me and then he’d stopped short. Something had interrupted our connection.
“What’s happening?” I asked, turning to Mom. “Is Kwame stopping me from seeing Tadeu?”
Mom shook her head, her eyes sad. “No,” she said. “Tadeu is stopping it.”
“What?” I demanded. “Why?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t know what has come and gone in the human world. I only know what is happening here.”
So, she could tell he was refusing to come to me, but she didn’t know why. Relief and shame washed through me at once. She didn’t know that Tadeu blamed me for his death, but I knew. I’d seen it in his eyes the moment he was killed. It hadn’t hit me fully, though. Not like this. I didn’t know he hated me so much that if he got the chance to see me again, even after death, he’d refuse. My heart wrenched, and my stomach churned with so much hurt I thought I’d be sick.
“You must go,” Mom said, laying a gentle hand on my arm. “I’m sorry, but you can’t stay here, Itzel. It is too dangerous.”
“Wouldn’t I feel it if something happened to my body up there?”
She shook her head. “No, and it’s not only that. You are in danger here. If the spirits here can find a way to you, they’ll swarm a living soul with demands. If they are strong enough, they will take what they want, whether you give it freely or not.”
“Take what?” I asked, my cheeks warming at the memory of Kwame’s ghost pushing into me.
“Your life,” she said. “Your life force. They will drain it away.”
“How does that help them?” I said. “They’re already dead.”
Mom shook her head, her eyes wide and serious. “Prince Kwame didn’t tell you? Itzel, if a living soul is strong, she can bring back someone from the spirit world when she returns.”
Forty-One
“What?” I asked, spinning to my mother, my eyes wide. “I can bring you back? As in, bring you back to life?”
“Not me,” she said gently. “I lived my life. I’m at peace here. Bring back someone young, someone who can still make a difference in your world.”
“But I don’t need anyone else,” I insisted, my heart twisting inside me as I clutched her hands. “I need you,
Mom.”
She shook her head, tears pooling in her eyes. “Not me,” she said again.
“Why not?” I demanded, balking when she tried to pull me from the room. I understood now. I understood why Kwame had dragged me here and what he wanted. If I brought him back, his mother would give me the amulet. He’d told me as much. I just hadn’t realized I’d be bringing him back to life. Or that I’d be choosing him over my mother.
“Itzel,” Mom said. “Think clearly. I know you are emotional right now, but you must think of your country, your world, in this moment. Not only the people you have lost, but those the world has lost.”
I took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to accept the fact that my mother didn’t want to go back. She didn’t want to return to us. Maybe she’d never wanted to be our mother at all.
“Why not you?” I asked, refusing to let her push me away so easily. “The world lost you. You could make things better. You’d be a queen again. You have influence.” If she wasn’t the woman I remembered, if I’d built that in my head after she died, she was going to have to tell me straight.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s not safe for me there.”
“And it’s safe here? Mom, you’re dead.”
“And you’re not,” she said. “It’s your turn to live. You must do it now, before it’s too late. Surround yourself with strong people you can trust, Itzel. That was my mistake. I chose one man who loved me above all else, and that was my downfall. You need more than that. You need loyalty on every side, but you need them to be accountable to each other. Never trust one man with your whole safety, no matter how much he loves you.”
As she spoke, she dragged me through the wall, and we were back in the bedroom where I’d woken with Kwame. He sat on the edge of the bed, his earnest smile ready for me.
“Mom,” I said, turning back to her and taking her hands in mine. “Come back with me. There’s so much I need to know. You can teach me.”
“Is my mate leaving me so soon?” Kwame asked, looking wounded.
“You didn’t tell her the rules of the spirit world,” my mother said, her formidable dark eyebrows drawing together. “You think you can trick my daughter?”
“N-no,” Kwame said, his smile melting. He looked almost…scared. He may have been a prince, but my mother was a queen. And even though she’d come from nothing, not even the staunchest proponent of keeping royal blood pure had ever dared say anything derogatory to her face.
My mother’s only answer was a fierce frown that made even me feel sorry for the Lion Prince.
“I only meant to spend more time with my mate,” Kwame said.
“By bringing her to the spirit world forever?” my mother asked.
“I didn’t think…” Kwame broke off and shook his head. “It was the only way. I have to be with her. You don’t understand. She’s my True Mate.”
“Sorry to disappoint you,” I said. “But I don’t think I’m your mate.”
“Of course you are,” he said, drawing back with a look of surprise. As if to prove it, he rolled up his sleeve and showed me a mark like the one I’d seen on Shadow. “I saw you when you marked my arm.”
Shadow had said the same thing. I didn’t know either man well, but I knew Shadow better. I knew he’d held me all night when I needed it. Was that a trick? What about everything he’d said on the helicopter? He’d told me he loved me.
Still, what did I know about shifter mating marks? That pawprint could belong to anyone. I didn’t even have a paw, for fuck’s sake. I wasn’t a cat.
I turned to my mother, but she just nodded, her lips pressed together.
“He’s my mate?” I asked, my mind reeling.
Then Camila had been right. Shadow had lied to me.
“How is that possible?” I asked. “I’m not a shifter.”
“Sometimes it’s more complicated than that,” she said, sounding tired and resigned. “You have shifter blood running through your veins.”
“Take me back with you, my queen,” Prince Kwame said. “If you must go back, it’s the only way. We have to be together. I cannot bear to know you are out there and not be with you. I’ll—I’ll—.” He broke off, looking stricken, like he’d just realized he couldn’t say “I’ll die.”
How long had he been dead?
Before I could ask, my mother was nodding. “You must go, Itzel. You must go now.”
“With him?” I asked, a knot the size of a pineapple forming in my throat. I couldn’t just walk away from her. I’d spent nearly half my life wanting her, needing her, and being unable to have her. Now I had a chance to take her back, to make her live again. I couldn’t give that up for a man I’d barely met.
Mom was already pushing me toward him, though. “Go,” she said again. Tears leaked down her cheeks, and she turned me toward her, holding my face between her hands. “It’s not safe for you here. I’m sorry, Itzel. I would like you to stay, to see you longer. Believe me, I would like nothing more than to spend another day with my daughters. But not like this.”
“Then come,” I said, gripping her hand. And even though I knew she was strong, and her grip was firm, there was something fragile about it, as if I might squeeze too hard and my fingers would disappear through hers altogether. If she vanished on me, I thought I’d be the one to die.
“If you choose me, I can’t stop you,” she said. “A living soul is stronger. But you’ll be making a huge mistake. Please trust me. If there’s one person you can trust, one person you know is always on your side, you must know it’s me.”
“I do,” I said, closing my eyes against the tidal wave of tears that threatened. It was so painfully unfair I could hardly breathe knowing that I was leaving my mother here, that I was leaving Tadeu here. I could force him to come back with me, give him back his life. If I did, maybe he’d forgive me.
“Are you sure?” I whispered into her ear. “Mom, I need you so much.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, drops of hot tears falling on my shoulder as she embraced me. “I’m so sorry, mi vida. You must get your sister to the throne.”
“If you are returning to the world of the living, you must go now,” Kwame said. “With or without me, my queen. Your time here is over. If you don’t go now, you will not be able to go at all.”
Mom pulled back, grabbing my shoulders with both hands. “You must get rid of your father. He’s a dangerous man—more than you know. Promise me, Itzel.”
I sniffed and wiped my face hard, mopping up all the snot and tears that had come as I said goodbye to my mother. In all the years since I’d lost her, I’d wished that I’d at least had a chance to say goodbye. But it turned out that there was never a right time, a right way, to lose your mother. Words were inadequate, especially in a rush. This decision was impossible, and yet, I had to make it. I had to choose someone I had just met over my mother, as if his life were more important. I might as well be killing my mother all over again, and I didn’t know if I could do it.
But I had to do it. She was right. It didn’t matter what I wanted. In some twisted way, all of Sir Kenosi’s games, his lessons, had prepared me for this moment. I might not be a queen headed for the throne, but I was a princess, and sometimes, a princess had to do the impossible. Sometimes, a princess had to do what was best for everyone but her. Sometimes, she had to listen and trust the people who had been there first, had to follow their advice even if it meant tearing out her own heart.
Even if it meant sacrificing her own mother.
All I could do was wrap my arms around her one more time and choke an inadequate promise into her hair. “I promise,” I said. “I love you.”
“Go,” she said, crushing me to her one more time. “Don’t ever come back here.”
“I won’t,” I said, swiping the tears that wouldn’t stop. “Please don’t ever forget that I’m doing this because you asked me to. Not because I don’t want to take you with me.”
“I know. Thank you.”
Kwame�
�s hand closed around mine, but I hesitated. One last time, I reached out for Tadeu, aching for a chance to explain. This time, I didn’t have to search at all. He was right there. But he didn’t let me tug on him this time. The sense of his presence was immediate, but the door to him slammed in my face instantly, as if he couldn’t stand to even feel me in his world.
I choked on a sob, turning to the one pair of arms that still opened to me. Prince Kwame pulled me in, and I pressed my face to his chest, too wrecked to be upset that he’d basically brought me here to trap me, thinking I’d die and live in the spirit world with him forever.
Just as the strange sensation of moving between worlds gripped me, I realized something. My mother hadn’t known my father for most of his reign. They had ruled together during her life. If she couldn’t see our world and watch over it, how did she know what he was like now?
I lifted my head, desperate to ask one more question. “Mom,” I gasped, even as my body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, as if I’d sink into the earth any second. I reached for her, and her cold fingers linked with mine, as if she couldn’t bear to let me go, either.
“You said Father is dangerous,” I said. “How do you know that? What did he do?”
I was already falling, and her fingers slipping from mine when she answered. “Itzel. Your father killed me.”
Forty-Two
When we arrived back in our world, I jerked upright, sucking in a breath. The lion beside me sighed, and Kwame appeared over it in human form. He laughed, spreading his hands and staring down at them in the starlight as if he’d never seen something so incredible. Before I could even dry my fresh tears, someone had leapt at us out of the darkness.
I screamed, scrambling away as a shadowy form slammed into Kwame, knocking him to the ground. Growls and snarls ripped from the figure, animal sounds coming from a man.
Shadow.
Captive Princess: A Dark Paranormal Romance (Feline Royals Book 2) Page 20