I tugged Camila behind her curtain without waiting for an answer. I pulled it shut, trying not to crumble from the ache in my chest when I saw the eyes of the men I was closing out.
“Camila, you need to take me,” I said. “When you go to the other kingdoms. If something happens to you…”
“That won’t be necessary,” she said, opening her bag and nestling the cheerful bead in next to the polished stone jaguar, the panther crystal, and the cheetah’s ruby. “I’ve negotiated brilliantly for the Lion Amulet, haven’t I?”
“I promised Mom,” I blurted, not knowing how else to break through her poise.
“When?” she asked, her hand flying to her throat.
I realized how long it had been since we talked, and how very strange it would sound to her if I tried to explain the night before.
“Okay, this sounds insane,” I started. “Just listen to what happened before you say anything.”
I quickly ran through the night before, skipping the weird ghost sex and going straight to the part where Kwame tricked me into going to the spirit world, how I saw Mom for just a minute, and what she’d told me about Father. When I finished, Camila stared at me a long minute. “What—is wrong—with you?” she hissed out through clenched teeth.
I took a step back, not sure what I’d expected, but it wasn’t this.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You got to bring one person back from the dead?”
“Technically,” I said. “But I didn’t know that when I went.”
“And you thought you’d bring back some guy you just met instead of our mother?” Camila asked, her neck beginning to redden. “What is your problem, Itzel? You’ve always been common, running around with that nasty little stable boy and all his friends, and I looked the other way. I was still going to let you be my advisor. People might whisper, but no one was going to make a big deal of it. They wouldn’t dare. But this? Are you really such a whore that you’d sacrifice your own mother so you can add one more dick to this dirty little harem you’re collecting?”
“What?” I asked, stumbling back as if she’d slapped me.
“Or is it because he’s the prince?” she asked. “Maybe I was a little slow to think that one through, but you weren’t, were you? You knew that if you got him thinking he was your mate, he’d do anything for you, even elevate you to queen. You’ve always been ambitious, but I never realized you were so cut-throat you’d kill your own mother for a throne.”
“I didn’t,” I said, my hands balling into fists.
“You might as well have,” Camila said. “You could have saved her, but you chose someone else instead. Someone you could fool into marrying you.”
“I’m not fooling anyone,” I said. “And I’m not the one who set up this marriage. I didn’t ask to marry Kwame. You traded me for the amulet.”
“You know, at first, I thought Shadow was trying to trick us, but now I see that it was you. When you didn’t need him anymore, you found someone else to believe he’s your True Mate. How’d you do that, anyway? Put that mark on them?”
“I didn’t,” I said through clenched teeth. “And I wanted to bring Mom back. She told me not to. She told me to bring Kwame. It was the only thing that could have gotten you the amulet.”
“I don’t even know if I can trust you anymore,” she said. “I always thought you’d do what was best for me. But obviously you were looking out for yourself first all along.”
“That makes two of us,” I snapped, finally unable to stand there and take her insults. “And if you’re so upset about me marrying Kwame, maybe you should let me out of that one. That’s not who I’d choose to marry, anyway.”
“Oh, no,” she said. “You’d choose to keep running around with your fan club, making them all think they’re the one. I knew you were just a human, ruled by your baser instincts, but you really have made a scandal of yourself. I’m glad Father’s not here to see it. Now I just have to make sure Gabor keeps his mouth shut.”
I swallowed hard, wondering if that’s how he saw me, too. But I was too mad to hold my tongue. “You know, that’s pretty rich coming from someone who has to lock herself in her room when she goes in heat. How’s that for baser instincts?”
Camila’s face raged a flaming red, and I knew I’d overstepped. I wasn’t supposed to know about shifter customs, let alone speak of them. But fuck it. She talked about my humanity all the time. Everyone did. How come it was okay for them to insult my common human nature, but I couldn’t criticize their shifter nature? I didn’t choose to be human any more than they chose to be shifters. I couldn’t help my nature any more than they could help theirs. So yeah, I was going to be petty and pretend that it was okay for me to do wrong since I’d had wrong done to me.
“You will never speak to me again,” Camila said, and she turned and marched out of her sleeping area.
Okay, that had gone badly. I hadn’t even told her about our father, which had been my main concern. Before I could get myself together, the curtain opened, and Gabor slid through. His eyes cut to me, but he went to Camila’s bag and picked it up. I hadn’t even considered saying goodbye to him, but of course he would be leaving with Camila. He was her guard, not mine. Still, the thought of never seeing him again made my heart clench with an unbearable ache.
“Gabor,” I whispered.
“Your Grace,” he said, the muscle in his cheek twitching. So much had happened that I’d barely seen him on this trip, and yet, my feelings had not faded. When his eyes lingered on mine, his gaze drinking me in, a rush of warm goosebumps swept over my whole body, and my breath caught in my throat.
“You’re leaving,” I managed.
“Yes.” He stood with Camila’s bag in his hand and a thousand unspoken possibilities on his tongue. I knew he would never voice them, no matter how badly I ached for him to say the words I needed to hear.
Before I could think better, I strode across the space between us and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my cheek to his solid chest as if I could memorize the rhythm of his heart. It beat within me, too, the same broken beat, the stutter-step when our bodies collided. Instead of pulling away, Gabor’s arm wrapped around me, and he pressed his nose into my hair, inhaling my scent without pretense this time.
He dropped Camila’s bag and threaded his fingers through my hair, tugging my head back. My heart stopped beating entirely when his gaze swept over my face and settled on my lips.
“Kiss me,” I breathed, my whole body swooning into his, my limbs turning to liquid with one look.
“Itzel,” he said, his voice barely a murmur. “I’ll never love another woman. A guard is married and mated to the throne he has vowed to protect. I am bound by that oath. You know that, don’t you?”
I nodded, tears clogging my throat. I didn’t know why he was telling me this now, but I knew it. Guards couldn’t have families, couldn’t marry. It was a liability to the throne. And they couldn’t leave their post. They had promised their lives to protect it, and the only way to quit the job was to give their lives. Having a guard leave his post, possessing all the knowledge and skills Father had given him, was unthinkable. Gabor had sold, if not his soul then his physical being, when he’d taken the job. The only freedom from the ocelot crown was death.
Tears spilled down my cheeks, and Gabor cupped my face between his hands, swiping them away with his thumbs. He lifted my face and gently brushed his lips against mine. Everything in me melted at the tender gesture. Hot tears flooded from my eyes, and I choked back a sob, collapsing against him. He held me tightly to his chest for a minute, letting me cling to the front of his shirt even as I wet it with the proof of my heartbreak. At last, I heard a rustle behind me, and Gabor tensed. I had to let him go. I didn’t want to, didn’t want to let him walk out of my life, but I couldn’t make him stay. I couldn’t make him sacrifice for me, couldn’t stain his reputation.
Sucking up my tears as best I could, I released him, though it felt as if my h
eart were being slowly shredded as he stepped back.
“I wish you great happiness, Princess Itzel,” he said. He stooped to pick up Camila’s bag and then hesitated to give me one more searching look, as if he expected me to have the answer. When I didn’t speak, he strode past me and out of the room.
Forty-Five
I turned to see Shadow standing in front of the fluttering curtain. We stared at each other a minute as I tried to think of what to say. Ask why he’d lied about me being his mate? Tell him I knew his people hadn’t killed my mother?
“You’re marrying the prince?” Shadow asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I guess so. That’s the way it works, right?”
Shadow’s scowl turned fierce. “You really mean to choose a mate for the political gain of your sister?”
“I didn’t choose anyone,” I said. “You chose me. You said I was your True Mate. Humans don’t even have mates.”
“But you do.”
I sighed. “I don’t know what’s going on, Shadow. I don’t know why you and Kwame both think I’m your mate. But my destiny was decided the moment I was born. I was never going to be anything but a political pawn. That’s what princesses are in our nation.”
“You’re not in your nation anymore,” Shadow said, his green eyes blazing with intensity. “This is your life, Itzel. When will you stop living it for her?”
The answer that rose to my lips out of habit, out of eighteen years of saying it, was that I’d never stop living for Camila. But then the reality of my situation knocked the air out of me like a fist to the gut. Camila was leaving me here. She meant for me to marry the Lion Prince, to live here as a princess until his parents passed, and he took the throne. I wouldn’t be living for her anymore, anyway. I’d probably only see her every few years, when the clans in the International Feline Council of Nations joined for a conference. Camila had just thrown me out of her life. She didn’t care who I lived for now.
So, maybe it was time to start living it for myself.
Before I could answer Shadow, the curtain curled back, and Kwame stood in the entrance. “My queen,” he said, glancing between me and my panther lover. “Is everything all right?”
Here goes nothing.
“I don’t want to get married right now,” I blurted. I’d decided to take the reins on my life, and I wasn’t going to back out so soon. But I remembered what my mother had said. I’d promised to get Camila to the throne, so that’s what I had to do, one way or another. And that’s what I would do, no matter what it took. My father had killed her, and she had asked for only one thing in revenge—to get him off the throne. A promise to my mother came before anything in my life.
Sending Camila to the Tiger Nation with only Gabor and one human woman from the Lion Nation wasn’t going to get her anything but dead. If I wasn’t going to live my life according to her dictates, that meant I was free. I didn’t have to stay here and marry Kwame. I had to do what I’d always intended. I would see my sister to the throne whether she liked it or not.
Kwame licked his lips and glanced back toward the group of celebrating royals. Then he stepped closer, letting the curtain drop behind him. His coppery eyes searched mine. “I know what you gave up for me to live,” he said. “I know my mother is hasty, but I will do anything to make that up to you. I will give up just as much. You gave me back my life, and I pledge that life to you.”
“Oh,” I said, drawing back in surprise. I’d expected him to be angry or even hurt. I definitely wasn’t expecting him to be… Nice.
“I am Itzel’s mate,” Shadow growled, pulling up his sleeve to reveal the luminous tattoo.
Kwame’s eyes narrowed, and he turned, sliding up the sleeve on his tunic. The exact same mark glowed on his skin. His frown deepened, and he focused on me. “How is this possible?”
“You tell me,” I said. “I don’t know anything about it. And honestly, it’s not my top priority.”
Kwame reluctantly pulled down his sleeve. “What is on your mind, my queen?”
As I looked back and forth between them, I realized that even if it didn’t make sense to me, this was nothing short of a miracle. I had two men here who wanted nothing more than to serve me in whatever way I wanted.
For the first time in a long time, I didn’t have to think about what someone else’s needs above my own. I knew exactly what I wanted.
“I want to talk to my sister,” I said, straightening. “But first, I need to explain things to your parents, Kwame.”
“They will understand,” he said. “They’ve gotten what they wanted most in the world. They want only for you to have the same.”
I nodded grimly and looked from one of my mates to the other. “I may not understand how I’m the mate of both of you, but I’ll do my best to learn when this is over. For now, I can only thank you for sticking by me and promise I’ll do the same for you. I may not understand it, but I know how important it is to the feline people.”
Shadow frowned at Kwame, but after a second, he seemed to decide something within himself. He gave the lion a respectful nod and turned to me. “What do you want us to do?”
“Kwame, come with me to talk to your parents,” I said. “Shadow, go out and make sure the helicopter doesn’t leave without me.”
Forty-Six
After our audience with the Lion Royals, I walked out into the blazing sun with Prince Kwame at my side. The shiny beast we’d ridden in on, now crouching in the golden grass like some kind of spaceship, had just started up. My heart did not race at the thought of what I had to do. I was sure in my resolve.
Lord Balam jogged back to me from where he’d been standing near the chopper.
“Are you going to the Tiger Nation with my sister?” I asked without a greeting. I knew I only had minutes to pull this off.
“Are you?” Lord Balam asked, a frown darkening his inked brow.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’m about to find out.”
“I agreed to escort you on the Amulet Tour,” he said. “That’s what I intend to do.”
“Thank you,” I said, my throat suddenly tightening. He could have walked away. He probably should have walked away. But he hadn’t. Through it all, every wobbling step of the way, he’d been by my side. He’d been my strength. And now it was time I was my own strength. I had to get Camila on the throne. I would save her even if she was too proud to save herself.
Lord Balam hesitated, his tattooed face serious as he watched me, his lips parting as if he were about to speak. But then he clamped his mouth shut and gave me a quick nod. That said everything. He was with me, and for now, that was all I needed.
I turned in search of Sir Kenosi, the man I’d spent so much time with, the man whose story I knew better than anyone’s. Still, his reaction was the one I could predict the least.
He was nowhere to be found.
“Where’s Sir Kenosi?” I asked.
“He’s on the helicopter,” Lord Balam said. “If we’re going, we’d better go.”
Together we ran for the helicopter. As the propeller moved faster, dust swirled up from the golden grasses. A dozen kids had run out to watch from afar, thumbs crammed in their mouths, eyes rounded with wonder. Shadow stood next to the open door, watching us approach. We crouched low and leaned into the wind, the sand burning our cheeks until we stood at the entrance. The stairs had already been pulled in. The chopping sound of the blade circling was so loud I could barely shout over it, but I saw my sister there in the seat closest to the door.
“Camila,” I yelled. Instead of looking down at me from her seat, Camila shifted her position so her shoulder was turned, her back toward me.
“Are you really going on with just one guard and a female escort?” I asked, bracing my hands on the doorframe.
“Please close the door,” she called to Gabor. “It’s loud out there.”
Before he could obey, I braced my hands on the floor to heave myself in. Lord Balam’s strong hands clamped around
my waist, and he lifted me in as if my curvy figure were as feather-light as Camila’s.
“I believe we’ve gone over this,” Camila said with a sniff. “The rest of my tour is none of your concern. And I asked you not to speak to me again. Gabor, get rid of her.”
Gabor took my elbow and steered me toward the door. Though his touch was gentle, laying his hands on me was the wrong thing to do. In seconds, Kwame and Shadow had leapt through the door. Shadow scooped me away from Gabor while Kwame manhandled the guard. I knew Gabor was armed, but he didn’t reach for his gun. He only stood bracing his arms against Kwame’s chest as the lion went for his throat. Kenosi sat back watching, but he wore a headset, and I knew he was communicating with the pilot.
“This is your last chance,” I said to Camila, who shrank back in her seat. “I have strong, loyal supporters. Mom said to surround yourself with them. They’ll get you to the throne.”
Camila straightened, her blue eyes as cold as Father’s. “Did I not make myself clear enough? Shall I spell it out for you? I’ve been trying to get rid of you for the last two stops. I will not have a would-be usurper close to my throne. Why is that so hard for you to understand?”
“It’s not,” I said, grabbing her arm and pulling her to her feet. “But I’m not a usurper. All I’ve ever wanted to do was see you on the throne. And I’m going to make sure you get there.”
“What are you doing?” she demanded, trying to wrench free. “This is my helicopter. Get out!”
“Actually, it’s Sir Kenosi’s,” I said.
“Let me go,” she cried. With a shove, she knocked me flat, taking me by surprise with her shifter strength. I was so used to thinking of her as helpless, but she’d always been stronger than I’d given her credit for. Stronger than me.
I jumped to my feet and stared at her, breathing hard. Maybe she had shifter strength, but I wouldn’t have her destroyed by doing what had to be done for the amulets.
Captive Princess: A Dark Paranormal Romance (Feline Royals Book 2) Page 22