by Dee Jones
She had to get out of there. She had to go someplace where he wouldn’t follow; take a walk, ride her mare, perhaps, anything, she just didn't care. She had to leave, run as far and as fast as she could, just so long as it was away from Turner Stables and its new owner.
Julia hurried to her closet and pulled out her wine colored velvet riding habit and quickly tugged it across her naked body before Daniel had the chance to catch her. She ignored her usual undergarments as she buttoned up her jacket and tugged on her boots, wiping the tears away with the back of her hand. Her heart couldn’t bear to feel his touch again, knowing she really wasn’t what he wanted. She grabbed her hat before heading down the stairs, tears staining her cheeks as she slowed her departure. Julia could hear her mother and Thompson in the library and groaned to herself, forcing back the sobs she wanted to set free. She wanted to leave the house without any confrontations with either Louise or the family butler. She had to get away from Daniel and as far away from the feelings still echoing within her aching soul.
Quietly she tip toed to the front door and slipped the latch open, moving out the heavy wooden barrier. A minute later she was on the gravel path that led to the stables, running at top speed. She would saddle Biscuit and ride until she couldn't think any more. She would go so far away she'd never find her way home and perhaps then she'd find the freedom she so desperately sought; freedoms from Daniel, freedom from her father’s curse but most of all freedom from the knowledge that she was desperately in love with her husband.
The stables were nearly deserted with only a couple young boys tending to the horses. There was no sign of Rally, so there was no chance of him alerting Daniel she was leaving, as he had done so many times before with Victor when she was a child. She was able to saddle her mare with very little difficulty and slipped out before anybody took notice of her.
Julia headed Biscuit toward the open fields, not knowing where they were going or much caring when they would return. She knew it was dangerous to ride in the open fields at night; Biscuit could stumble and fall, or break a leg, even throw her rider and then where would she be?
It had been a long time since she had ridden her mare and Biscuit was as anxious to stretch her legs as Julia was to let her. They rode for a long time, over the flat lands that spread as far as the eye could see, into the night where only shadows would witness their foolish behavior. She made a large circle of the property and was near the outer boarder that connected her land with the Farnsworth’s.
Julia pulled back on the reins, looking toward the flickering lights of the large mansion in the distance, inhaling a deep breath. She would have to go back, she knew that and so did Biscuit, but neither of them was ready. There would be more arguments when she tried to sneak in and her head still ached from the last one. She glanced across the open range recognizing the thick brush beyond.
The swimming hole; she hadn't been there since the day Heather died. She had lost all interest in ever seeing the place again, but right now the need to talk to Heather, the need to be close to her seemed overpowering. There was no other place she could feel her friend's presence than the last place she had been on this earth.
With slow movements, Julia turned her horse toward the secluded pond. An eerie chill trickling down her spine as she thought about the last time she was here; she could still see Heather’s dead body floating in the water and frowned. She could barely remember what her best friend looked like before that fateful day.
She remembered their friendship, their laughter and their dreams, but she could not recall her face in clear detail, not as it once was; young and beautiful, carefree and innocent. All she could see was the grotesque, bluish face; bloated and distorted, not at all the girl she loved and needed to speak with.
Heather would know how to handle her feelings, Julia thought. She was always the rational one, able to think clearly in any situation and able to see outside the lines of now or then. She could tell her what to say or how to act; she’d tell her whether to try and make Daniel care for her, or to slug him in his pompous nose and tell him to get lost! Heather had a way of making Julia feel like things weren’t as bad as she thought, even when Victor was furious because she disobeyed him, again.
The night was clear with just a few clouds darkening the sky and the moon was full giving the path a shadowed light. Julia could hear the sounds of horses neighing in the open fields as they grazed the sweet spring grasses. Rally and the others would be rounding them up soon enough, which meant Biscuit would be missed and Daniel would be alerted to a problem at the stables.
She stopped her mare at the top of the small hill that led to the pond and left her untied to graze on the grass. Carefully Julia edged her way through the underbrush and around the trees that lined the water's edge.
The swimming hole seemed so different now, so strange and spooky and smaller than she remembered when she was younger. She sat down on the old stump where she and Heather would sit, watching the ripples on the water from the insects that danced along the surface. The sound of crickets chirped all around her as she sighed; life goes on, she thought with a sadness that seemed to grip her entire soul.
Her heart was filled with remorse; she hated what had happened to her life, but she hated how she felt about it even more. She was in love with her own husband, a man who didn't want her for his wife, but for the land and all that went with it. Daniel may have been somebody in England – if his story was true, but here he was just another citizen among the many. She was the means for something better for him, his meal ticket as her father would say. Her father, Julia growled under her breath; this was all his fault. Everything that was happening to her was because of him, even Heather's death.
If she had been here that day as she promised; if she had come when she said she would, Heather would still be alive, Julia would be in Boston where she wanted to be and Daniel would be back working with Harold. She'd never have known him or fallen in love with him and she wouldn’t be sitting here, feeling sorry for herself or wishing for a past that would never change.
With tears streaking her delicate face, Julia sighed a sobbing sound. She knew none of it was true; Heather's death was an accident, her father would still have died and even if she had been there to help her friend, who would have said whether she could have prevented Heather's death or not. The worst of it was, she would still have met Daniel and - unless she had married some local farm boy - she'd have still been forced to marry him. Her father would have won out either way.
The sound of the water rippling against the bank brought Julia back to reality with a start. She had to get back home; even if she stayed out here all evening somebody would eventually miss her and they'd come looking for her. With a ranch the size of Turner Stables, nobody was ever free from spying eyes. She had probably been witnessed leaving the stables by at least a dozen people, including Daniel. He'd be the first to bring her home; she meant too much to him to let her go. She was his means into a better life and richer future; even if she wasn't a part of it, her inheritance was.
Julia sighed again, wiping the tears from her face as she heard her mare whine her discontent. It was time to get back before she had the whole town out looking for her. The thought of a posse hunting the countryside for her didn't exactly set well in her mind. It was bad enough to feel like a disobedient child for running away, but to be dragged back home as a deserting wife, was unthinkable.
Standing up, Julia brushed the dirt from her velvet riding habit as she moved around the log and back to the muddy embankment. She had just turned to leave, when a noise in the bushes caught her attention. The chirping of crickets grew silent and she felt the sudden chill of danger scratching along her spine. She strained her eyes to see what had caused the noise, but couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. The swimming hole was so well hidden from the rest of the world that only the slivers of moonlight filtering through the treetops that danced around her illuminated the area of the brush with light.
It
was probably only Biscuit, she told herself, hoping to calm her twitching nerves. After all, she hadn't tied her up and she may have gotten snagged on a branch or caught in the brush as she searched for hidden treats. She thought about her mare trying to work her way down the small embankment and falling; she could break her leg or cut herself seriously.
Julia frowned as she headed in the direction of the noise, her old temperament and stubbornness refusing to permit her to think before acting. If her horse had gotten stuck, she may need help getting her out, which meant she’d have to walk all the way back to the barn to get someone to come back with her. Daniel would be furious, even more than he already was and that in itself meant another long evening of arguing between the newlyweds.
She heard the noise again and sighed; it had to be Biscuit stuck in the thick bushes, no doubt from trying to get to the thick grasses growing underneath. She pushed the limbs away and called softly for her horse and even whistled for her, but received no response. She called louder and heard the mare whine from the top of the hill behind her. Biscuit hadn't made the noise in the brush after all, so what had? Julia felt the chill return, as she strained her eyes again peering through the thick overgrowth. What if it was a vagrant or a drifter? She should not have come out here alone, especially at night, she thought.
"Who's there?" she called out, silently cursing herself for allowing her bravery to overcome her common sense. There was no answer, nothing, and she wasn’t sure if she was glad or not’ then the rustling sounded from somewhere behind her.
Julia’s heart was pounding as she turned around and started out of the bushes, eager to get away before it was too late; but as she neared the edge that led to the path to take her out of the overgrowth, she stopped and frowned, her feet unwilling to move any further. Standing in the middle of the pond, wearing a robe of white was the figure of a woman.
"Who are you?" Julia demanded, cursing the moon for going behind a cloud.
"Julia." She heard her name whispered in the still night air and froze in her spot. Oh God, it couldn't be, it wasn't possible!
"Heather?" she whispered, her heart pounded wildly inside her chest, her palms sweating with fear as her legs tried to buckle beneath her.
"I've been waiting for you Julia," the figure said, barely more than a whisper on the night wind. "It was your fault. You killed me. I've come back to avenge my death." The figure raised her arms slowly toward Julia as she spoke.
"No...I didn't...Heather, oh God please," Julia pleaded, as thunder exploded in her head and she found herself falling to the ground, rolling down the hill. The sound of water sloshing against the bank grew louder with each beat of her heart and she heard herself moan against the pain.
Julia couldn't open her eyes; her head grew heavy and thick with every breath she took. Suddenly she felt herself being pulled forward by something beneath her arms. Her head was spinning and darkness was beginning to swell up around her as her face hit against water. Julia couldn't to move on her own accord, a heavy weight seemed to be pressing in around her shoulders, holding her down. She tried to cry out, but the attempt only aided in her lungs filling with water. Her throat closed off unwilling to divide the air from the water but she knew it was too late. She was drowning at the hand of her best friend and she was helpless to fight.
Through the haze of fear and the burst of agony inside her head, Julia could hear her name being called out through the night’s stillness. She opened her mouth and tasted the rush of cold water filter across her tongue. She saw the darkness descend on her, still hearing her name echoing all around her as water filled every pore of her soul. Then there was nothing left for her, only cold emptiness and dark space in which she found herself floating. She couldn't breathe anymore, she couldn't fight, her soul ached for release, begging to escape to a world she knew awaited her.
Julia felt herself being pulled forward; she could see herself walking through all of this, the swimming hole, the water, her family's ranch; the fear even the pain no longer mattered. Her spirit was being pulled through an endless passage of time. She heard her voice and saw a figure; a man...Daniel? No, he wasn't tall enough, wasn't slender enough or young enough, but then who?
"Julia," the man called, and she reached out for him. Their hands came close to touching and she saw his eyes...her eyes, emerald green in a face of pale white, but they weren't hers at all, they were..."Daddy?" she gasped, but he didn't answer.
He walked further away from her as she felt herself being pulled back into the emptiness that surrounded her. She tried to call to him again, but he was gone, the darkness swallowing him up like a sponge.
Her lungs began to ache again; her head throbbed like the boom of fireworks on the fourth of July. Her chest exploded with heavy pressure and her stomach heaving in response, but she couldn't wake herself up.
The thought of dying was vivid and the feeling of regret weighed heavy against her soul. In that moment Julia realized she was still alive and why she couldn’t follow her father. She wasn’t ready; she wanted to live and she hadn't been able to tell Daniel the one thing her heart ached to say. She loved him, and she wanted to tell him this, but the words wouldn't form.
She searched for him, but found only thick, dense space; cold revenge and endless pain surrounded her. Daniel was not there; no eyes of turquoise splendor, no arms strong and gentle to hold her. And then the pain stopped, it was over; there was no water, no Heather…and no hope. Her life had ended and she was alone.
Daniel heard the door to the room next to his shut and heard the soft sound of shoes scrapping along the carpeted hallway as Julia hurried down the stairs. After closing the door to his wife, he began pacing the room naked, nearly breaking his toe when he kicked the dresser. If he could have, he would have kicked himself instead. He hobbled to the bed and checked his injury then pulled on a clean pair of jeans and a soft flannel shirt. He was just slipping his feet into a pair of boots when he heard the door close.
He needed to see Julia; he needed to make her understand what was happening between them, even if he didn’t completely understand it. He wanted her to love him on her own terms, without persuasion from him. It wasn’t her land he wanted and he had to make her see that.
Daniel could hear the voices of Louise and Thompson, Mrs. Lester and Bridget as he descended the stairs. He turned the corner to the parlor and looked around, but there was no sign of the young brunette.
“Where’s Julia?” he asked, ignoring the curious looks the four occupants offered him.
“I thought she was with you, dear,” Louise answered.
“She was, but we had an argument…about the bathtub and she left.”
“I’m sorry Daniel, but I haven’t seen her. I don’t think she came downstairs.”
“Yes she did, I hear her. I’m going to the stables to check on things. Will you tell her I’m looking for her when you see her, please?” Louise nodded as Daniel turned and left the room, closing the front door behind him.
She waved the others away, handing the menu back to Mrs. Lester and frowned as they left her alone in the parlor. There was something not right between her daughter and her new son-in-law, but she couldn’t even begin to understand what. Certainly it wasn’t sexual, she thought. She may not have explained everything to Julia that she should have, but her husband would surely have made her understand the benefits of marriage. With a husband like Daniel Browning, it was not likely sex could be instigator to the argument between the young lovers. But if it wasn’t, then what was?
His blood still boiled for her as he left the house and headed down to the stables, seeing the dark figure of his bride riding off into the night. Perhaps now wasn't such a good time to approach her, Daniel thought. It was probably best if they both put some distance between each other, and right now Daniel felt too emotionally jumbled inside to reason with her. One word - one wrong word - and she'd find herself flat on her back in the middle of pile of horseshit or over his knee where she would find pleas
ure among the pain.
With a heavy sigh he stopped his path to the stables. He was just as eager to avoid the stable hands, as he was to avoid his wife. He had spent the better part of fourteen hours there, working like a madman in hopes of burning the green-eyed beauty from his mind, and he wasn’t prepared to start all over again. His muscles still throbbed as he thought about picking up another pitchfork.
Reluctantly, Daniel turned around and headed back to the house. He was amazed to discover how easily that little vixen could wrap him around her finger. He was whipped and he was allowing her to control the reigns, telling him just how much he was allowed to taste of her in a single day. Less than an hour ago, he had vowed never to touch her again until she was ready for him and here he was, chasing after her like some lovesick mutt.
Daniel grunted as he walked around the side of the house to the back door. All it took was for their tempers to meet and he found himself a rutting horny fool, lusting after her as though he hadn't had a woman in years. Granted it had been months since he last felt the pleasure of a woman's touch, not since before he'd first met Julia, had he lain between a woman's legs.
It didn't matter how logical he tried to be, or how much he promised not to rush her, he forgot all of that when she was in his arms. He cursed himself under his breath, and then cursed Julia even louder. What the hell was she doing playing with his emotions like this and why in God’s name was he allowing her to do it? Didn't she know how desperately he needed her? Didn't she know how much pleasure she'd find in his bed? Perhaps not, he thought, she wasn't that educated in the field of men to know she was torturing him beyond reason or rational thought; she had no idea how many long nights he paced the floor waiting for her to join him. And wait he would, he told himself with a sigh, reaching for the handle to the back door, wait until she needed him, wait until she no longer had control, wait until her conscious took a back seat to her desires.