by Dee Jones
"You have to forgive Adaline," Lena explained after a moment's humor. "She was married to a very vane man once. She thought he loved her for herself, but found out quick enough it was her money he loved. She comes from a very wealthy family, don't you know. Well, when she found out she had married a whoremonger, why she became quite snippy. She felt certain it was because she was unattractive, so she stopped eating and nearly killed herself with starvation. She was sick for weeks in fact, and when she finally regained her strength, she learned her husband had run off with a perky little tramp, barely sixteen years old. She hasn't been the same since." Louise nodded silently at the woman's discomfort, understanding exactly how it felt to lose the man you loved to another woman.
Julia listened to the women’s gossiping with only half an ear, as she looked carefully in the mirror, examining her shape with scrutiny. She had noticed the slight weight gain, but she hadn't thought it was so bad; in fact, Daniel really did seem to like it. She frowned as she turned this way and that, smoothing the material of her thin chemise across her narrow hips and slender waist. She didn't look any different to her, she still had a small waist and her hips were as firm as ever. Perhaps it was just Adeline’s complaints that made her worry; the idea of losing Daniel to a thinner girl frightened her and she was anxious to make certain it never happened. That did it, she scolded herself with strong determination. No more deserts and no more rich foods for her. She would just have to learn to say no.
"We'll stop by Ronald's next," Lena began, making a mental note of their day. "He's the best hairdresser in all of New England. After that we'll take in Petite's, that's the new jeweler's not far from here; I've wanted an excuse to stop in and have a look around since they opened, and then we can stop for an ice cream soda and sandwich before going home. I'll have to be back before long, little Walter will need feeding and I don't think it would look very good to have my dresses stained with milk."
"If we do all of that today, there won't be anything left for us to do the rest of the time we're here," Julia insisted, feeling the desire for a nap beginning to call out to her again.
"Nonsense," Lena insisted. "This is Boston, there's plenty to do. The Mitchells are having a party the day after next and I promised to bring you both, so we have to shop for that; then there's the Hansen's ball this weekend. Their daughter is coming out and we just have to be there for it. There's the opera and the ballet next week; Rupert and I have box seats for the season, and we can't forget the Arndell’s tea party a week from Sunday. Heaven's, there's so many things still to do I can't imagine having enough time for it all." Louise and Julia glanced at each other and smiled their weariness. The woman's itinerary made them both feel dizzy and exhausted. The next month couldn’t pass by fast enough, for either of their sakes.
As promised, the remainder of the afternoon was spent with Lena dragging her sister and niece through the town of Boston. They visited shop after shop, stopping and talking for what felt like hours with those she knew who happened to be in the same vicinity as the woman. They bought so many clothes and accessories; they had to send the carriage driver home twice to unload their packages. Each time he returned, he would look at the three and shake his head, going back to the shops they had visited to pick up more of their purchases.
By the time supper rolled around, Julia and Louise were exhausted. They retired to their rooms to freshen up before eating, encountering a large supply of packages as they entered their private chambers.
Julia tossed the boxes off the bed and onto the floor, slipping her shoes off and throwing herself to the satin duvet. She didn't remember shopping to be so totally exhausting. The idea of moving made her legs ache, her head pounded and every muscle in her tired body screamed for a reprieve, begging to remain in complete limbo. All she wanted to do now was sleep until it was time to catch the train back to Kentucky.
A soft knock on her bedroom door brought Julia's eyes open and a moan of disbelief from her overly tired body. She couldn’t stand listening to more of her aunt's rambling. At first she thought about not answering it, but knowing she couldn't ignore her visitor for long, she sat up and padded her tired feet across the room. Instead of seeing Lena or even her mother as she had expected, Julia found the small figure of her four year-old cousin, Marybeth, standing timidly outside in the hall.
"Well hello there," Julia greeted the child, hoping her voice sounded more cheerful than she knew it did.
"Are you awake?" the little girl asked, her tiny feet twisting under her lacy skirts.
"It looks that way," Julia answered with a smile. "Would you like to come in?" The dark ringlets bobbed on her head as she nodded, skipping into the room. Julia chuckled to herself as she closed the door behind the child. The energy she had endured all day with Lena was nothing compared to what was pinned up inside this little version of her mother, now bouncing on the end of her bed.
"Would you like some chocolate?" Julia asked, knowing the child's weakness and also knowing the new nanny rarely allowed the children sweets. Marybeth nodded her head excitedly and began bouncing harder on the firm mattress, watching as Julia rummaged through the boxes on the floor until she found the bag of gourmet candy she had purchased.
"Don't tell Beatrice, okay?" the child asked, taking a piece from the bag as Julia sat down next to her.
"It will be our secret," Julia promised, taking a piece for herself. Another knock echoed through the room and before Julia could get up to answer it, the door swung open and in walked William and Lucy, both as dark headed as their sister. They spied the bag in Julia's hand and quickly shut the door hurrying over to the bed.
An hour passed while the cousins and a bag of chocolate eagerly became better acquainted. By supper time, there were four less hungry people to feed, but much happier knowing their little picnic was shared with the promise of secrecy.
That night Julia slipped her diary out of her nightstand and marked off another day. Forty-three left to go.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Day after day Julia and Louise found themselves dragged from one event to another. Each new invitation had to have a special gown, matching shoes and of course a different hair style. All of this meant days on end of shopping, buying, measuring and fittings, while they prepared for yet another festival, outing or ball. Julia felt like a child's yo-yo; pulled in one direction only to wind back up and extended in another; but what was worse was her growing exhausted. She felt as though there just weren’t enough hours in the day for sleeping.
Thirty-two days had passed, each one highlighted with a red mark on the hidden calendar in her diary. Two weeks remained before she could go home and fall back into a quiet routine - and Daniel's arms. Julia made herself a silent vow; once this vacation ended she would never again complain of how boring Kentucky was.
Breakfast was served later than usual the mornings after their parties and Julia found herself waking to pangs of hunger, only to be followed by grumbles from her stomach that quickly worsened with each day. Her throat would tighten in spasms until she was forced to flee to the private bathroom and vomit whatever was left in her stomach from the night before.
For five days now Julia had awoke to these aliments, each starting off as the day before. Spells of nausea and vomiting in the mornings disappearing by lunch, followed by an afternoon of total exhaustion that lasted until early evening, when - if she wasn't up to her neck in a ball gown and yet another endless social gala - she could escape to the quiet confines of her bedroom. She didn't think there was any real reason for alarm, since she had no fever or any other symptoms to go along with her morning rituals.
It wasn't until the Friday evening before she was scheduled to return to Kentucky, that Julia slipped her little diary out of the drawer and began glancing back across the pages. The marks she always made in the book to keep track of her monthly period were absent for that month and there wasn't any indications for the two months before, either. This was when Julia realized the gravity of the sit
uation. She had seem her Aunt Lena go through two pregnancies and remembered when her mother was expecting Jeremy; but never once had she considered it happening to herself; yet it all added up. The sickness that lasted until midday, the fatigue, the hunger pangs, even the thickening waistline and hips her tailor had scolded her for. She wasn't getting lazy as she had silently accused herself of, she was pregnant!
The thought echoed around her head the rest of the evening, and into the break of day the next morning. Julia tossed and turned sleeplessly in her bed, thinking about Daniel and their lives together. She thought of how he would react when she told him he was to be a father, and what he would think of her as she began to grow larger. She thought of the baby lying asleep within her, wondering what it might be, what it would look like and the color of its eyes. She wondered if it would have her quick temper or its father's even control and good nature. She calculated how far along she was and how many months she still had to go, and then she considered how far away she was from her home - and her heart.
Julia hurried out of bed before dawn the next morning, eager to bypass her morning ritual and was nearly dressed when she realized she couldn't fool her stomach quite as easily as she had hoped. She ran to her bathroom and made it just in time to prevent a nasty accident; she found herself feeling happy for being sick. At least it meant her suspicions were right, she was indeed going to have Daniel's child.
Several minutes passed by before Julia felt secure enough to finish dressing and head downstairs. She knew the only one awake at this hour would be her uncle Rupert and found him sitting alone in the dining room, reading the morning news. He glanced up at her with surprise and frowned, his thick eyebrows falling down across his grey eyes.
"What on earth are you doing up at this hour?" he asked, setting his coffee cup back to the saucer in front of him. Julia smiled and eagerly took one of the pastries the cook had set out before her affliction reared its ugly head again.
"I have a few errands to run this morning before mother and Lena wake up," she told her uncle, refusing the maid's offer of coffee and asked for milk instead. Might as well get a start on health, she thought with a private smile.
"There's very few people working this time of morning, and I don't think your dressmaker will be open for at least another four hours."
"It's not those kinds of errands, Uncle Rupert," Julia answered politely. "I didn't want to tell anybody until I'd made the arrangements, but I'm going to the train station and booking passage back home on this afternoon's train."
"Good heavens girl, why? Has something happened you didn't tell us? Has somebody done something I should know about?"
"No Uncle Rupert, it's nothing like that. I'm just need to get back home."
"It's not Daniel is it? He's not sick?"
"No, no, he’s fine. The truth is, I'm tired of parties and I'm anxious to go back to my husband. I miss him, Uncle Rupert, and there really isn't any reason for me to stay any longer. I'm sure Aunt Lena can handle her endless invitations without me tagging along."
"Without a doubt; but if there isn't anything wrong, why not stay until next week? It's only a few more days."
"Six days and eight hours to be exact and I really can't explain it right now. I just need to go home. You won't be upset with me if I leave early, will you?" Julia frowned, thinking of how selfish she was acting. She hadn't considered her aunt and uncle's feelings or the children or even whether or not her mother wanted to leave this soon. All she could think of was getting home to Daniel and telling him about their baby.
"You know you'll be missed," the older man assured her, leaning across the table to pat his niece's hand gently. "But you can always come back and visit, or we can come to Kentucky. It's not exactly another country you know? Actually, I sort of envy your husband. I've been married so long I doubt Lena would even think about me if I was to send her away on vacation."
"Don't be silly. She'd be as devastated as I am." Rupert smiled and squeezed her hand before kissing her cheek tenderly and straightening up.
"The least the mayor of this fine town of ours can do is to offer you a carriage and driver to run your errands." Julia smiled as he stood up and walked toward the front door. She snatched another pastry and hurried out the door behind her uncle, anxiously counting the hours before she would be on the hot, smoking engine that would take her home to her husband and her horses.
Passage was booked for four thirty that same afternoon and tickets purchased for both herself and Louise. Julia only hoped her mother would want to leave Boston this soon. She hurried to the telegraph station next and ordered a telegram to be sent to Daniel, telling him of her arrival. She paid the man behind the counter sixty-five cents to send the cable and thought of exactly what to say.
Daniel would want to know why her sudden change in plans, but the reason couldn't be told through miles of lines and station personnel. It had to be said in person, when they were both alone and could express their joy in private.
She picked up the pencil and jotted down the message then handed the paper back to the clerk. He read it over once, looking up at her with a frown.
"Is this all you wanna say?" he asked her with a note of sarcasm etching his tone.
"What's the matter with it?"
"Well nothing I reckon, it just ain't very personable if you ask me," he replied reading the words she had written. "Arriving on four fifteen Sunday - stop - Please meet us - stop - Julia. I thought you said you were sending a message to your husband?"
"Please just send it as I wrote it," Julia instructed irritably, leaving the building before the man could scold her further. She climbed back into the Victoria waiting outside for her and pulled the shade down to block out the bright morning sun.
Perhaps the man was right, she thought, perhaps she should have been more personal. After all, it wasn't as though she was arranging to meet a complete stranger. She could have at least signed it love or miss you. Before she could change her mind and ask the driver to head back to the telegraph office, the carriage came to a halt and the door opened to reveal the mayor's mansion. Well, the cable would have to stand just as she had written it. She had too much packing to do to worry about it any further. Besides, she could tell Daniel how much she loved him when she was back in his arms.
Julia had just finished closing the remainder of her new dresses in her trunk along with the items she had purchased for Margie, as well as the number of presents she was bringing home with her, when the door opened and her mother poked her head through. Louise smiled at her daughter in surprise, stepping further into the room
"I wasn't expecting to see you up so soon. Didn't you sleep well?" Julia smiled and took a deep breath. Trying to explain her reason for wanting to leave so soon wouldn't be easy, which was probably the real reason she wanted to get their passage booked before her mother found out.
"I slept fine mother, but I do need to speak with you." Louise frowned and sat on her daughter's bed next to her. The massive pile of boxes were missing and the number of dresses that had been laid out to air were also absent.
"What's going on?" Louise asked, eyeing the room and its occupant suspiciously.
"I've arranged for our return to Kentucky. We leave at four thirty this afternoon." Louise stared at Julia for a long moment before smiling.
"I was wondering whether or not you'd be able to stick it out until next week," she replied sympathetically. "I know how hard it's been for you to be away from Daniel. Actually, I'm surprised it's taken you this long to change your mind."
"You don't mind then?"
"Of course not; to tell you the truth, I've rather grown tired of all your aunt's parties and shopping sprees. I can't imagine Rupert putting up with it as long as he has. If it were me, your father would have had kittens with all the bills they will be getting. I'm rather looking forward to going home and reading my poetry again."
Julia and Louise laughed for a few minutes, teasing each other with images of the first things
they were going to do when they returned to the ranch; Julia of course didn't tell her mother what the first thing she wanted to do really was. She wasn’t sure how to explain to her mother that she wanted Daniel to take her to their flat in Mayfield for a long, passionate night alone.
After a few minutes of joyful teasing and eager talk of their impending trip, both Julia and Louise became quiet, each thinking of Lena and all she had planned for the remainder of their stay.
"Do you think she'll be very upset?" Julia asked her mother with concern.
"Lena will be devastated, but then she takes everything very personal. We'll have to have a better excuse than your being homesick to soothe her ruffles."
"What if we told her I had to go home?" Julia asked with a sly grin.
"Why on earth would you have to go home early?"
"I'd have to go back if I was pregnant, wouldn't I?" Louise thought for a moment then smiled.
"I'll bet that would do it. Lena knows how much attention you need when you're expecting, and a woman would want to be with her husband when the baby arrived. I think she'd go for it and now that you and Daniel have set things right, it's not totally out of the question. I think I'll go tell her right now and start packing."
Louise left her daughter sitting on the edge of her bed, still rambling on as she closed the door. Julia stared at her departing posterior and smiled, gently tapping her finger against the mattress. Any second now her mother would realize what she had said and would come back in to ask...
"Julia Dennese!" the door swung open and the older woman exploded back into the room like a bolt of lightning. "Was that just an excuse or are you really pregnant?"
"Yes mother," Julia blushed. "I've been having morning sickness for the past several days, and I haven't had my monthly for three months now."