by Holt, Leah
Levi was keeping me steady, holding me up from falling flat on my face. “So this makes two,” he said, stepping up to the front door of my apartment.
“I just keep tacking them on, huh?” I asked, pushing my hip against the railing to balance myself, I turned to face him.
“Don't worry, I won't keep track, as long as you let me call you tomorrow.” Sliding his hand down my arm, he drew small circles over my wrist.
“Well, you'll just have to try and see if I answer.” Teasing the hem of his shirt, my eyes locked on his. And I could feel him, feel the way he was looking at me.
Levi didn't have the look other guys did. He wasn't fucking me with his eyes, or trying to force himself up into my place; he wasn't taking advantage of the situation.
I knew if he had agreed, if he let his cock do the talking, I'd be inside with him getting my brains fucked out.
And even though that raw desire was riding my spine like a million grains of sand, I was happy he didn't.
Watching his eyes shift, they moved around my face. Drawing his hand up, he brushed the apple of my cheek, and I felt my skin flush. The fire hit my face, spreading its fingers over my body.
The tingles were numbing, flooding my spinal cord. And I couldn't stop it, I didn't want to stop it.
Leaning in slowly, Levi pressed his lips against my forehead. “Goodnight, Avni.” Turning, he stepped off the landing.
On impulse I grabbed his shoulder. “Wait,” I said, fingers curling into his hair. Driving my lips onto his, I kissed him. And my entire body went up in flames.
His tongue danced across the ridges of my mouth, coiling around mine. Sliding my hands up, I tugged on his roots, twining around his dirty blonde hair.
Levi wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me with steel muscles. Pushing himself back, his fingers dug into my hips.
He stood motionless, gazing into my eyes. Bringing two fingers to his face, he ran them over his lips. “See you later, Princess.” Slowly turning away, a fleshy grin filled his face, tongue riding across his teeth.
And I watched him go, unable to pull myself off the railing. He wasn't the man I pegged him for, he wasn't a sex-driven man whore.
Levi... He was something different.
And for the first time, I wanted more.
***
Flopping down onto my couch, I kicked off my shoes. T jumped up into my lap, attempting to lick my face over and over.
Pushing his tiny head away, I asked, “What do you think of Levi?” Scratching his scalp, he peered up at me, ears perking as I spoke.
Letting my head fall into the cushion, I closed my lids. Levi was hanging in my eyes, hovering in the mix of blackness against the thin layer of skin.
Why does he have to be a soldier? I can't date a soldier, I just can't.
I had made a promise to myself, a promise I needed to stay true to. I didn't want to ever go through that again, the pain was too much.
It had all been too much.
And no matter how hard I tried to push him from my mind, I couldn't. He was strangling my every thought.
The way his muscles felt when he pulled me in close sent electricity crackling through my veins. Just thinking about him was turning my pussy into a watery mess.
Slipping my legs free of my jeans, I lifted them onto the couch. Rolling to my side, I could feel my still heated body yearning to be touched.
Squeezing my eyes tighter, I tried to force myself to sleep. But Levi just sat on my brain like hot tar.
His shirtless chiseled body kept popping into the blackness. The formed ripples of muscle across his chest, the intense pop of colors across his flesh. I wanted to touch him, stroke the hardness of pleasure his body would consume me with.
Slowly walking my fingers over my thigh, I gently brushed the tender flesh. I pictured his hands, his thick fingers; the massive erection he wore when he got up.
Flicking my panties to the side, I started to stroke my pussy. The single finger danced over my lips, teasing the entrance.
I wanted that finger to be his, I wanted to feel the warmth of his breath float across my belly as he danced around my sensitive button. I wonder if his touch is as firm as his arms? Would he be gentle, or would he just take what he wanted?
And what I wanted to give.
Rubbing my clit faster, I could feel the juice thicken, aching for his cock. I tried to imagine what it looked like, and how thick it would be.
From the look of his pants, there was more of him to give than I ever experienced before.
Dipping my finger inside my pussy, a soft moan escaped my lips. Raising my other hand to my breast, I pinched my hardened nipple. Tingles started to course through my body, the flutters emanating up from my belly.
Slipping a second finger inside, I worked my hand faster. Pumping it in and out, thumb flirting with my swollen clit. In my head it was Levi's hands bringing me to climax, causing the intense buzzing hitting me in the core.
Then our kiss, reliving the taste of his lips against mine; it drove me over the edge. My entire frame began to shake, the orgasm coating my hand in one quick swoosh. Cupping my mound, I curled my legs over my hands, coiling into a small ball on the couch.
What am I doing? Why am I doing this to myself?
Deep down I knew I could never let myself have any true feelings for him. I made a promise to never have another soldier in my life.
Exhaling a heavy breath, I let my body drift off to sleep.
The soft whimper in my ear, turned into a loud bark. “What?” I said, rolling onto my back. The awful sound cut into my head, twisting at the pain sitting behind my eyes.
And this is why I don't drink.
A few beers, that was all it took. Call me a cheap date, call me a lightweight; regardless... This sucked.
Thumbing my temples, my dog nipped at my elbow. “Stop it, what do you want?”
Opening one eye, I peered at him. The instant he saw my eye open, Mr. T ran over to the door, scratching at the base. “You need to go out.”
Grunting, I lifted myself up, resting my head for a moment on my hands. I tried to open my eyes fully, but it hurt. Blinking rapidly, the glare from the sun sent my eyes into shock.
And the pain; well that just grew tenfold.
Finally forcing my lids open, my tiny dog was doing circles around the doorway. “Alright, alright. Give me one minute.” Grabbing a pair of pants from my room, I slid them up.
The last thing I wanted to do was step outside into the full blown light of the sun, but if I didn't want a mess on my floor, I had no choice. Maybe a little fresh air would help me feel better.
Standing, my legs felt wobbly and unsteady. I was trying to collect my thoughts, get my mind to go straight. A heaviness was sitting on my chest, a realization of what I had done the night before.
I kissed him. I fucking kissed the man I knew I could never be with. How the hell did I let myself get wrapped up in him?
Levi was everything I swore myself against. He was a soldier, and I knew what happened when that was your career. I learned that first hand, and I could never knowingly put myself through that again.
Fucking booze! Clouding my brain. I hope he doesn't call me, just let him disappear into a distant memory.
But I knew that was easier said than done. There was something about him that drove me wild, and deep down...
He had wrapped a piece of himself around my soul. How? I wasn't sure, but he did.
Grabbing the leash off the table, I hooked it in my dog's collar and opened the door like I was walking into the apocalypse. Squinting my eyes, I held my hand up to block the glare.
T bolted down the steps, and jerked me forward. “Slow down, we're going.” Taking a deep breath, I let the fresh morning air fill my lungs. It felt sweet, sending a new burst of life into my bones.
Letting T lead the way, I followed him down the sidewalk. Sniffing everything he walked by, I let my mind drain empty. I pushed everything out and away, there was n
o need to overthink anything.
It was just a kiss, Avni. That doesn't mean shit, it's not like you're suddenly devoting your entire life to him.
Shaking my head, the world around me started to stream to life. The sounds of passing cars, the chirps of tiny birds; it all filled the empty space of my brain. And that's what I needed, a head filled with nothing but aimless sounds and no thoughts.
It was bad enough I had to deal with Vito, with what my brother left for me to clean up. But that was the weight on my shoulders, and I had to bear it. Me and me alone, because that's what you do for family. Even when they're gone.
My brother was a legend in our family, and I planned to keep it that way.
Watching T kick the grass, I pulled the small plastic bag from my pocket, scooping up the largest shit I had ever seen. “You know...” Scrunching my nose, I tied up the handles tight. “For such a small animal you make a big mess.” Chuckling to myself, I turned to throw it in the garbage can on the sidewalk.
“Well, well, well, look who we have here.” The raspy voice filled my ears, sending chills over my spine.
Whipping my head over my shoulder, there stood Vito. The last man on earth I ever wanted to see in that moment.
His hair was slicked back tight, eyes hiding behind a dark pair of sunglasses. His mouth was twirling around a toothpick, fingers gingerly rolling a pack of cigarettes.
I wanted to vomit, and spit at him all at the same time. My stomach had dropped, nerves bursting at the seams. He wasn't supposed to be here, he wasn't supposed to come back for two months.
And yet, here he was. Here he was standing two feet from me, filling the fresh spring air with his nasty cologne.
“What are you doing here, Vito?” I asked, nostrils flaring as the words scratched off my tongue.
“Where's your friend today? You know, the prick who did this?” Pulling the glasses off his face, he had two black eyes. The deep purple bruises spread under his sockets, mixing to green at the edges.
I couldn't stop myself, the laugh hit my lungs before I could even think about it. Covering the smile across my lips with my wrist, I said, “Well, don't you look pretty?”
“Fuck off, Bitch.” Placing the shades back over his eyes, he tugged on the hem of his jacket. “What I told you before, well that's changing. You have one month, one.” He held his index finger up, bouncing it in the air.
All the life drained from my body, down to the very last drop. The air spilled from my lungs, my heart stopping briefly in a long pause.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I could feel my muscles start to tremble, explosions in the sinew were firing off with anger.
This man had been making my life hell. And the worst part, he was trying to use my family against me. I had told him I would take care of this mess, and to leave my parents alone.
My parents didn't have anything to give, everything they had went into caring for my sister.
But did Vito care? Not one fucking bit.
He only cared about one thing... His money.
“I assure you I'm not fucking with you, Doll.” Teasing the thin mustache staining his upper lip, Vito stepped in closer. Draping his long fingers across my shoulder, he pressed the fabric down. “I'm tired of waiting, and after the other night...” His lip curled up, snarling like a rabid dog. “Your time is running out, no more games.”
Slowly, I pulled a heavy breath in through my nose. I was ready to hit this motherfucker myself. But I knew he was dangerous, knew he could end my life with a snap of his fingers.
Should I have been scared? Probably, but I wasn't. Should I have been cautious and concerned about what he might do to me? Maybe, but I wasn't.
Vito was dangerous, yes. But he also displayed this aura of insecurity, a smell of bullshit.
Maybe he was more talk than actions? That was the image I held onto, the ideal villain for my issue. A man who wanted what was his, but used weightless threats to cement the fear.
How the fuck am I going to come up with that kind money? Fuck, Kevin!
I had learned of my brother's debt on the day of his funeral, three weeks after he was gone. Real nice, right?
I had just buried my best friend, my brother, and that asshole thought it was the perfect time to trap me in an alley and threaten my life.
Vito showed up out of nowhere, demanding payment for the money Kevin had promised. Money for the greedy thirst my brother had developed.
I'd been able to keep that man at bay, draining my bank account, giving him everything I had saved up. All five grand, but Kevin owed double that. I had been trying to come up with a way to get out of this mess without having to go to my parents.
And without having to even seriously contemplate Vito's alternative.
No way in hell. I'd let him kill me first.
My brother was thought of as a hero, and I didn't want to taint his image by them finding out about this. My parents spoke so highly of Kevin, and I was afraid this would make them look at him differently.
Kevin deserved to be remembered for who he was, nothing else. My parents had dealt with enough; between losing him, and having to care for my little sister. They didn't need to worry about this too.
So I took the weight, took the giant bolder that was thrown onto my back. Now I needed to come up with the money to knock that fucking rock off me.
I was pinned between living a coy existence and hell. The only way out was getting him what he wanted.
“And how the hell am I supposed to do that?” I asked through slit lids. “You won't let me make payments, and I told you I'd pay you each week what I could.”
A wicked laugh fell off his lips as he spoke. “Honey, that's not how this business works. You have one month. I've already given you over a year, that was me trying to show sympathy.”
“And if I don't, then what? Are you going to kill me?” Snapping my head to the side, I stared at Vito.
The sun was shining down on his head, and I could see his beady little eyes behind the dark plastic, darting back and forth over my body. “I've got plenty of plans for you, Honey. Don't you worry about that.” Biting his lower lip, Vito yanked a cigarette from the pack, and strolled up the street.
“Fuck you! You're a fucking weak little man!” Screaming at the top of my lungs, my arms flew up over my head. And he just kept walking, head held high, back straight as an arrow.
Watching him climb into his car, I couldn't help but think how casual he looked. A small plume of smoke spilled out from behind his face, rolling and morphing in the breeze. He was acting like he didn't have a care in the world.
Vito had the demeanor of a guy who just had small talk with his neighbor before leaving for work. He didn't smile, he didn't raise his eyebrows up, he didn't do a fucking thing. He just drove off not caring about anything but his money, and he was going to do anything to get it.
Even if that meant trying to sell me. No fucking way!
Prick.
What the hell am I going to do? This sucks, it royally fucking sucks. Cupping my forehead in my hand, I dragged my fingers over my cheek.
Could my life get any worse?
Chapter Six
Levi
Pacing around my apartment, I was kicking myself in the ass for not taking Avni up on her offer. I wanted to, fuck I wanted to. Every God damn inch of my body wanted her, and yet I couldn't take her.
Why didn't I fuck her? She wanted it, she practically begged for it!
The way her lips warped to fit in mine, the way her tongue licked, the intense passion that filled her eyes; she was the fuel and I was fire.
But I knew I couldn't, she was drunk.
That was wrong in so many ways, and I wasn't about to cross that line. I'm not that kind of guy.
If I'm going to take her, it'll be on my terms. Not by a plighted chick who only wants it in the moment, only to turn around later and regret what she did.
I wasn't about to cause any woman one ounce of embarrassment; that's not how
I worked. But I knew I didn't need her to be drunk to make her mine.
Tugging the phone from my pocket, I scrolled to her name. Hovering my thumb over the call button, I stood in a momentary pause, unable to push it.
What if she tries to dodge me? She did kiss me, and I know that wasn't in her plans for our dinner date.
There was a fresh breath of air that hit my lungs when I was around her, a second beat would flutter across my chest. And in her eyes, there was life. A bold new life I wanted to have, wanted to call mine.
I wasn't about to let this girl walk out of my world, if I wanted her, I had to take her. She wasn't going to run to me, I could see that as bold as the day is bright. Dragging my hand over my jaw, I slipped my feet into my sneakers and headed out the door.
Avni didn't live far from me, only a few blocks. After coming home, the Army stationed me in a quaint little town. I was happy for this placement too, I grew up in Mass, so my home town wasn't far away.
And the little city they placed me in wasn't so bad, I could walk to everything I needed. Driving always came second, if I could walk it then I did. There wasn't any need to waste the gas, especially when the shit's so fucking expensive.
Besides, walking was a gift. One I wouldn't waste if I had the choice.
Gripping the cold handle of the coffee shop, I pulled the door open. The cool breeze from the central air hit my face, chilling my skin. The small beads of sweat that had started to trickle down my temples began to dissipate.
It had really warmed up quickly this morning, the sun beating down on me as I walked had made that clear.
My shirt was sticking to the bulges of my back, suctioning itself to my flesh. Lifting the trim, I shook my shirt up and down to let the cool air fill underneath.
After ordering a couple ice coffees, I leaned my elbow against the counter, looking out the window. I wasn't that far from Avni's place, I could see it up the street.
That's when I saw her walking her small dog with a man standing in front of her. The same asshole who I laid out a couple days before.
What the hell is he doing?
Stepping closer to the window, I watched her arms flail rapidly. Even from this distance I could tell their conversation wasn't good. I didn't wait for the coffees, I was out that door in one long stride.