Lawfully Festive

by Natalie Middleton

  Martha and Edward sat snuggled into each other, watching the movie Meet Me in St. Louis. Jerry glanced at them. They seemed to be completely absorbed in the movie. He quietly left the room and walked up the stairs. There were three doors in front of him. He walked up to the first door and knocked. He waited for a few seconds and knocked again.

  “Who is it?” A voice called out.

  “It’s me, Jerry. Can I come in?” He patiently waited for a response.

  The door opened and a visibly deflated Riley waited for him to enter. He walked into the room and the first thing he saw was a giant poster of the world. It was a huge map of the world, with pins. He looked at her, surprised.

  “I didn’t peg you as a travel person. From our initial conversations, at least.” Riley stayed silent. He walked up to the poster and examined a few pins. Norway, Poland, Egypt, India, Argentina —Jerry was stumped.

  “Have you visited all these places already?” Jerry asked with awe in his voice. Riley walked to the map and picked a pin and moved it to China. She turned to look at him.

  “No, not really. These are some of the places I’d really love to visit.” She sat on her bed and stared vacantly.

  “Why haven’t you visited then?” Jerry was confused. Riley sighed and avoided his stare.

  “Because I was broke after college,” she snapped. She took a deep breath and looked at him. “I told you, I needed a job to pay back a student loan. That’s why I got into business. Anyway, it’s been a dream to backpack through a few countries. I’m just waiting till a few thing work out. Maybe once I’ve built a corpus for travel, or after the business becomes stable. Then I’ll pack my bags and set out on an adventure,” she said, sounding a little excited as she opened up about her dream.

  A warm feeling spread across Jerry’s chest. This, this, was what he loved. The easy conversations he had with Riley. Each conversation peeled away another layer.

  “That sounds like a great plan.” Jerry hovered by the world map, reading names of cities and checking out the different countries.

  Riley walked up to him and stood beside him. “Why are you here, Jerry?” She sounded weary.

  “I don’t know. I missed you while watching movies, I guess. Why are you here? It’s Christmas.” He crossed his arms.

  “I—I just didn’t feel too well. I think I’ll lie down now,” she said, getting under her blanket.

  “I’m going to sleep for a while, if that’s okay, Jerry. I’ll see you later?” She asked. She closed her eyes.

  Jerry nodded, his face pinched. His behavioral analytics skills came back in command. He narrowed his eyes and stared at her. She was lying, he could tell, and he wanted to figure out why. He waited in confusion for a while. Riley tossed off her blanket and just sat up.

  “Okay, I’m going to rip the band-aid off. I think we should just be friends.” She watched his face for a reaction.

  “What?” His voice was a few notches higher than usual.

  “I think we should just be friends. I—I can’t be with you. I don’t think it would work out.” She crossed her arms.

  Of all the things Jerry would have expected, this was certainly not it. This was why she was so distant? Because she suddenly thought it wouldn’t work out between them? Jerry struggled to control his rising temper.

  “And can you tell me why you think it won’t work out?” Jerry couldn’t keep the anger out of his voice.

  “I—I,” she stuttered. “I just don’t think we’d be right. You need someone who accepts you wholeheartedly, and I’m not sure I can be that person right now. I’m too messed up in the head right now for this.” She avoided his glare.

  “Don’t push me away then, Riley. Is it because things are moving too fast? We can take it slow. Who says we need to get together before the holidays?” Jerry’s voice sounded desperate even to him. Riley shook her head.

  “I know my thoughts, and I’m not the person you’re looking for. You deserve someone so much better. I think we should just be friends. Please.” Her eyes pleaded with him.

  Jerry felt as if the ground had been snatched from beneath his feet. He felt miserable. This was what he got for putting himself out there. Before he said something he would regret, he turned from the room and walked away. Just as he was descending the staircase, he came face to face with Edward. He nodded curtly and was about to walk away when Edward stopped him.

  “I was wondering if we could talk for a bit, Jerry,” he said gravely. Jerry stopped in his tracks. Edward opened the front door and stepped out. Jerry followed.

  “Is something the matter, Edward?” Jerry asked, confused about his sudden change in behavior.

  Edward sighed. “There’s no easy way for me to tell you this. But your father and I promised, many years back, to take care of each other’s children if anything happened. Now that Charlie isn’t here, I feel responsible for you, even though we don’t know each other much.”

  Jerry stood with his arms crossed. He wondered where this conversation was going. He gave Edward a serious stare. Edward matched his stare.

  “I wonder if Charlie ever had this conversation with you. It’s about joining any arm of law enforcement, the army, the navy, the air force, the police. Or in your case, SWAT.”

  Jerry narrowed his eyes. “What about it, Edward?”

  “A military life is hard. Not only on yourself, but also on your family. It may seem fine right now, but what happens if you get hurt tomorrow? Living with a disability is not easy. And the society doesn’t always remember your contributions. You still need to go out there and fend for yourself.” Edward sounded disgruntled.

  “Look at me. Ten years I spent in the army. I was thankful I didn’t lose an arm or a leg. But I see people in the army now, those who get sent overseas, and they return back broken.” He stared at him. Jerry tried to grasp what Edward was saying, but to him, it just sounded like a rant.

  “I’m sorry, Edward. I don’t see the point of this, and the relation it has to me.” Jerry tried not to sound too curt.

  Edward shut his eyes. When he opened them, he looked tired. “When I heard you narrate the recent raid, and how you narrowly missed getting killed, I had to talk to you. Is it necessary for you to continue in SWAT? You’re young. You can easily find a job somewhere else. Keep yourself safe. Do something else.”

  Jerry’s head started pounding. Edward had pounced on his insecurity about his job. He massaged his head. He couldn’t think of a life without SWAT, without his team, without serving the public. But the failed raid had made him feel doubtful, doubtful about his future, doubtful about when he could return. All of this coming after Riley pushed him away, it was too much.

  “You’re here to take a break. Use it well.”

  Edward stood up and put a hand on his shoulder and left. Jerry sat still, thinking about what Edward had just said. He walked into the front yard. It was filled with snow. This was such a different experience. For so long, he’d been away to college, and then work, he never made it home for winters. He reached out and lifted a scoop of ice. He moulded it to form a snowball and threw it against the fence. It missed the fence completely and fell in front of it. Throwing the snowball gave him some release.

  He picked up snowball after snowball, throwing it hard. A few hit the fence, but the others missed. After he was spent, he fell to the ground. The pounding ache in his head came back. He picked up his phone and dialed Alice. She picked up on the first ring.

  “Hey, what’s up?” Her cheerful voice made Jerry miss her with such ferocity, he was surprised.

  “Alice, she broke off everything. She—she didn’t want to be with me.” He mumbled. He couldn’t find words to describe the raw pain he felt.

  “What happened? Tell me everything,” Alice commanded. Jerry complied. This time, he told her everything from the time they first met to the conversation they just had.

  “Oh.” Alice paused to think.

  “Jerry, I think Riley likes you, a little too much for h
er own good. I—I hate to admit it, but I did the same to Jake.” She stopped and shooed away someone in the background.

  “I did remember him being down in the dumps a few months before you got together.” Jerry’s mind flashed back.

  “Yeah, so I’d pulled away and told him we needed a break. I just wasn’t sure about us. It—everything seemed to be moving so fast. I felt all these emotions that I wasn’t ready for. I couldn’t manage.” Jerry was surprised.

  “That was just what happened right now? Do all of you women function on the same frequency? Did Riley just borrow what you felt?” Jerry was stunned.

  Alice laughed. Jerry didn’t know what to feel.

  “You women just like playing with us men. Poor Jake. I feel sorry for him now.” Jake frowned.

  “No, no. Don’t be mad. Jake gave it back to me. And that made me realize I wanted him in my life.” Alice said. Jerry thought hard.

  “How did Jake give it back to you? He’s putty in your hands. You’re joking,” Jerry said. Before they got together, Jake followed Alice like a puppy. Jerry found it very amusing.

  “No, he did. I had asked him to stay away. So, that’s what he did. He went completely rogue. I didn’t know where he was, what he was doing. He wouldn’t reply to any of my texts or messages. I started getting so worried, it was crazy.” He said.

  “That’s evil.” Jerry laughed.

  “Yeah, he was evil. But, that distance gave me the space to realize how much I missed him. I wanted his counsel, I wanted to share my life with him. I missed that dependable rock who would be there whenever I wanted him. And so, I gave in. I allowed myself to fall in love.” Alice sounded dreamy.

  “So, what are you suggesting I should do?” He said.

  “Let her be. Give her some space. Don’t talk to her. Do what Jake did to me. It made me feel miserable, but I realized how much I wanted him around. It’s a little tough, but, well, you’re really just doing what she wanted,” Alice said.

  “Oh you’re evil, Alice. So so evil.” Jerry chuckled. He would do just as Alice said, he decided.

  “Well, we do require reminders about what is important for us. I hope you’re feeling better, and remember, I take checks for such consults. You can pay me the next time I see you.” Alice said.

  “What? Your voice is breaking up,” he laughed. “I’ll see you soon Alice. Thanks a lot,” he said.

  He looked up at the house and thought about Riley. They would stay friends. He would make sure they did. He rubbed his hands in anticipation. As for what Edward said, he didn’t want to think about it right now. He chalked that conversation to friendly advice and let it go.

  It was going to be an interesting couple of days.

  Chapter 9

  Jerry walked out of his room when he heard sounds.

  “Jerry, we’re going to town. We plan to go look at the decorations and wait for the carolers. Would you like to join us?” Martha asked.

  Jerry almost agreed, but remembered what Alice had said. He looked up the stairs to see Riley come down. He looked at Martha and shook his head.

  “I’m sorry, Martha. I’m a little tired. I think I’ll just watch some shows on Netflix and relax.” Riley reached the bottom of the stairs and slipped into her coat.

  “It’ll be fun, the carolers sing well and the town’s centre has beautiful lights. Please come,” Riley asked.

  Jerry gave her a small smile and shook his head.

  “No. That’s alright. You go. I’ll be here.” He waved to Martha and Edward and looked into Riley’s eyes. They looked at him in surprise and confusion.

  “Riley, are you coming?” He heard Edward call his daughter. She looked behind, and then looked at him. When he made no signs of moving, she turned around and left.

  * * *

  “Don’t you think it’s weird Jerry didn’t come with us to town today? I thought he was enjoying Christmas,” Martha noted. Edward coughed when she said that and Riley moved around awkwardly.

  When nobody responded, Martha pressed the matter further.

  “I hope he’s not upset about something. He’s such a sweet boy. I want this holiday to be a good one for him.” She sighed and looked outside the window.

  Riley moved around uncomfortably. Her mother had hit the nail on the head. Jerry was upset, and she knew the reason why. She had pushed him away. She swallowed.

  The Northampton town centre was beautifully decorated. There was a huge Christmas tree in the business district and each light pole was adorned with fairy lights. There were many decorations on the Christmas tree. Riley could see gift wrapped boxes, candy canes, gingerbread men, snowmen, ornaments, silver and golden bells. She was amazed.

  She immediately took out her phone to text Jerry and stopped. She had asked him to stay away. It wouldn’t be fair if she didn’t keep up her end of the bargain. She gulped and looked at the decoration. Her parents walked in front of her, hand in hand. She trailed behind them, walking slowly. She looked at them and marvelled at their relationship.

  They had survived all the challenges that life had thrown at them. This was in spite of her father being in the army. That’s not to say they hadn’t had any ups and downs, but, they were still deeply in love and committed to each other.

  Riley’s mind kept flashing back to Jerry and their conversation from earlier that day. He looked so shocked when she told him they should stay friends. Was that what she truly wanted? If he was a friend, and supposed to stay a friend, why was she thinking about him now? She groaned in frustration.

  She whipped out her phone and fiddled with it. Should she message him or not? Would that be too suggestive? She threw caution to the wind and typed,

  The town’s quite decked up. You should have come.

  Before she could double guess and doubt herself, she pressed send. Her heartbeat escalated as she waited for a reply. Her father called out to her, and she walked ahead. They had found a spot near the carolers. A crowd was slowly gathering behind them. It seemed like the whole town had gathered to listen to the carolers. The whole town, except the one person she wished was here. She sighed and checked her phone. No response. Well, she deserved it. She had pushed him away and he was doing exactly what he asked. That didn’t mean she liked it. No! It was terrible.

  Everyone around her started singing with the carolers, but her mind was not on the songs. Her mother looked back at her and squeezed her hand and Riley pretended to smile and sing. But truth be told, she was confused. The reason she had pushed Jerry away was simple. He was in the SWAT, and she couldn’t deal with one more person being in such a risky profession. But, is that the real reason, a voice inside her asked? She gulped, feeling uncomfortable. She adjusted her jacket and unzipped it. Were there too many people around? Why was she feeling so hot?

  She tapped her foot impatiently. She checked her phone. No response from Jerry. She groaned in frustration. She wondered how much longer she would have to wait before they could go home. Unfortunately for her, the carolers had just begun. The crowd cheered for them and they sang one carol after another. She tried to smile and sway when the crowd did, but her mind kept going back to the person she had left behind in her home.

  * * *

  Riley was the first person to enter the house. She couldn’t believe it had taken them that long to reach home. She walked in, took off her jacket and went straight to the kitchen to grab a drink of water. She looked in the living room but saw nobody. That was odd. She thought Jerry would probably be watching something on TV. She quickly gulped down water and sat on the couch. She picked up the remote and browsed the programs on Netflix. Where was he?

  Her mother walked into the kitchen and started taking out leftovers to heat.

  “Honey, would you call Jerry? Let’s have dinner.” Riley nodded and got up. She walked to the guest room and knocked on the door. That’s odd, she thought. There was no response. She started getting worried. Where could he have gone? She took out her phone and dialed his number. She could hear a
phone ringing in the room, but nobody was picking up the call. Her heart thumped. Did he leave and go?

  “Riley, did you call Jerry?” Martha called out from the kitchen.

  “Mom, I think he’s in the bathroom,” She replied. She frowned as she walked into the kitchen to help her mother with heating dinner. Edward joined after some time.

  All the food had been set on the table, but Jerry still wasn’t here. Guilt enveloped Riley. Was he so upset with what she had said? He would be, she had pushed him away. Could he have done something rash? No, he was too centered to take any reckless decision. Before she could think further, she heard a voice.

  “Hey everyone. Sorry I’m late.” Jerry walked in. He had his coat on. Riley started at him dumbfounded.

  “I went out for a walk. This is a very nice and quiet neighborhood, Edward.” Riley looked at her dad. He looked a little uncomfortable and she wondered why.

  “Well, come and join us,” Martha said. Jerry nodded and took a seat. They held hands and said grace.

  Conversation across the dinner table was a little strained. Jerry paid little to no attention to Riley, except a few smiles. He would answer her questions, and throw out another one at her parents that would completely change the topic. It was infuriating. Riley almost blinked back tears at one point. Why was he treating her like this? Could he not see she was upset?

  After dinner, her parents retired to bed. Riley nervously paced around the living room. She kept wondering what she could do to break the awkwardness between her and Jerry. There was so much she wanted to talk to him about, and somehow, spending half a day away from him had been torture. She didn’t like this distant Jerry. She wanted the person she could discuss anything with.

  She mustered the courage to go up to his room and knock on the door. Jerry opened the door. He looked so handsome, Riley melted. She cleared her throat to try and bring her back to the task.