"Do you plan to snack while you attempt to kill me?" he wondered sneeringly. "Or give me a lesson in nutrition?"
I smiled as coldly as I could, though my heart was throbbing madly. "No. I'm going to feed these to you."
Was that a flicker of something—fear, or uncertainty maybe—in his glittering eyes? I couldn't be sure. He laughed derisively, making me doubt my plan all over again.
"You won't be so confident when this is done," I promised. "Guys, hold his mouth open please."
Brandt and Austin did so, Brandt holding the head back and Austin gripping the lower jaw, his fingers well away from those disconcerting teeth. Ripping the package open, I grabbed two or three of the fruit snacks and dropped them in Merko's mouth. Austin clamped the jaw shut, forcing Merko either to chew or swallow.
"Is he human?" Brandt wondered.
"Human?" Austin echoed, puzzled.
"I don't know," I said. "He swallowed."
I turned and withdrew from the backpack the steak knife Brandt and I had taken from our kitchen earlier. I pointed it at Merko, watching his expression carefully.
"Whoa, Lilly, what are you doing?" Austin said.
I stepped closer to Merko. There was no clue to be had from his eyes or the angle of his mouth. I touched the point of the knife to his throat, holding his black gaze.
He killed you, I reminded myself. Twice now, heartlessly and brutally. Here's your chance to repay him.
"Wait," Merko said, his face cracking at last into vulnerability. "Wait. Lilly, please."
His plea took me by surprise and I lowered the knife a fraction, then all the way so it was straight along my side. It was strange to see him looking so desperate and afraid. I had become used to him as a freakish, otherworldly villain and I wasn't prepared to see him acting so . . . human.
And then I knew we had done it. We had made him human.
I couldn't kill another human, not even knowing he'd once been an evil sea creature with murderous tendencies. He posed no threat now, tied to a chair. He was as fragile and vulnerable as me, as any of my friends. Still, I couldn't let him go. I wondered if we might reach some sort of understanding, a truce maybe.
"Merko—," I began with a sigh.
Suddenly his face twisted into something terrifying, a snarling, sneering expression that wasn't even close to human. I dropped the knife as I jumped back, gasping with horror. He lunged forward, having somehow managed to slip free of his bonds. Brandt and Austin were shouting but I couldn't understand them. I smelled saltwater, the scent so strong it nearly gagged me. The slick, pallid shape of Merko's blurred, distorted face filled my vision, and it was the last thing I saw before suffocating blackness overtook me.
~
The tastes of salt and sand in my mouth. Cold wind numbing my ears and nose. Hair and clothes wet, heavy . . .
I opened my eyes to see sand. I was lying in it. Gray-blue rock curved above me but I also spotted a snatch of sky, stormy and dark. The caves, I knew instantly. Merko had brought me to the caves. But it had been nearly dawn when we'd taken him to Austin's basement. How long had I been unconscious?
Struggling into a sitting position, I coughed tiny grains of sand from the back of my throat. They coated my tongue and crunched between my teeth. I spat several times but still my mouth felt gritty. With a grimace I looked around the cave. This was not the first one, the one Ahaziel and I had been to, but some other cave I had never seen. A quick glance to the silvery ocean below told me this cave was much higher and had no convenient landing, which meant it probably wasn't accessible by climbing the rocks. Merko must have taken me through the network of winding passages connecting the caves to get me here. I'd never explored further than that first cave so I had no idea how far he’d brought me.
I was relieved to see he wasn't in the cave with me. My heart ached with helplessness and all I wanted to do was lie down and cry and scream until I couldn't feel a thing. But if I was alone, I had to take the chance to escape. He wouldn't leave me for long, I was sure. And I couldn't trust that Brandt and Austin would come looking for me. Aside from the fact they probably had no clue where I was, Merko might have incapacitated them in some way.
And I'd failed to make him human. There was no telling what he could have done to them.
Carefully I stepped to the cave opening and peered down. The rock face below was alarmingly sheer and slick with ocean spray. I edged away from the opening and cautiously made my way towards the back. I eyed every shadow to make sure Merko wasn't hiding, though I didn't know what I'd have done if he jumped out at me. I reached a forking tunnel. Right, I decided after a moment of indecision. That way would lead me down, I hoped, to the beach below Havelock Point, to town. To safety.
Before I went home, though, I would need to find Ahaziel.
The thought of him motivated me and I started into the tunnel. I had hardly taken a step when Merko slithered around a corner, blocking me. My feet kicked up sand as I retreated back to the cave. So much for my stealthy escape.
"Oh, Lilly." Merko smiled, enjoying my distress. "Here we are again."
I backed away from him all the way to the mouth of the cave. My heels came up to the edge and I looked down over my shoulder. Oh, it was so high, so steep . . . I experienced a moment of vertigo. The rocks looked dangerous, but if I wanted to get out alive I couldn't see a way other than to climb.
"You won't come back this time." I shot a questioning glance at Merko. Was there some truth to Brandt's number three theory? "I plan to drown you. I'll devour your soul. It will never find its way here again because it will no longer exist."
He didn't know anything about a possible limit on my lives, then. He thought I'd keep on coming back unless he drank my soul, and maybe I would. Either way, I didn't want to die. It wasn't my time.
"You'll fall if you go that way," he said conversationally. "You may die before you hit the ocean. I wouldn't want that."
"My soul doesn't belong to you," I informed him, a statement that only caused him to laugh.
It was now or never. There was a good five feet of space between us, so I took the chance he wouldn't be able to reach me before I made it out of the cave. As quickly as I could I knelt down and stretched my legs out behind me, searching for some kind of foothold. I found nothing so I stretched my body further, pointing my toes. It was too much. My fingers slipped and slid uselessly down the sharp-edged rocks as my body descended a few heart-stopping feet. I kept myself as flat as possible, hoping wildly I wouldn't fly off the rocks altogether and plunge into the ocean.
A few seconds later my face and hands were scratched up but I had mercifully come to a halt. Taking a deep breath, I continued my precarious descent, refusing to look up, refusing to acknowledge that Merko was chasing me.
Because he was. I could hear him calling down to me, taunting me with mocking, cruel barbs. I concentrated on placing my feet and holding onto the edges of the rocks so I wouldn't slide again. It was a tedious process. My hands were bloody and the scratches stung with salt. A harsh wind picked up, blowing hair in my eyes and making them water. But I'd shoved my fear deep down where I couldn't feel it anymore. My mind was focused solely on survival.
I stopped for a moment, leaning forward against the rocks to catch my breath and give my hands a rest. Peering up through strands of tangled hair, I saw Merko struggling down after me.
"I'm coming, Lilly," he called, as if he'd been keeping me waiting. His voice sounded strained, though.
He looked to be moving faster than I had been, so I started climbing down once more. The rocks were leveling out, allowing me to move quicker and affording me better stability. I'd passed a number of small cave openings and I reasoned I had to be nearing the bottom. As soon as I reached the beach, I'd run and put some distance between us. I nearly cried out with happiness when at last my foot touched sand. It was the landing in front of the very first cave. I had almost made it.
Just as I started to climb the rest of the way down, somethin
g slammed into me from above. I fell sideways onto the landing as the thing tumbled past me. Shocked and gasping for breath, I peered down the rocks to see Merko's body hit the beach below. When he landed he lay there unmoving, his dark eyes blinking at the sky, his mouth open to suck in what looked like pained breaths.
Human, my mind whispered.
Wasting no time, I scrambled down the rocks and stood a few feet from where he lay, studying him. He wasn't dead, but he no longer seemed like a threat. His left arm looked broken. He was scratched and bloodied all over, just like me, only he didn't know how to deal with the pain. He wasn't used to it.
"You're human," I told him. My stupid fruit snacks plan had worked after all, only it had taken longer than I'd thought. He'd been able to escape the ropes and bring me to the caves using whatever supernatural water powers he'd possessed, but since then the powers had diminished, leaving him as vulnerable to death as me. In pursuing me he'd fallen off the rocks and this was the result.
"Why did you do it?" I demanded in a quiet voice. "Why did you kill me?"
Merko coughed and rested his good hand on his chest, his face a grimace of pain. "Hatred. Jealousy. Because it is my nature. There are many reasons but it's not likely any of them will satisfy you."
Tears filled my eyes. I remembered the pain of Eve dying in the fire. The snap of Olivia's arm as Merko broke it and tossed her carelessly onto rocks. I imagined what he must have looked like hurting those girls, hurting me. Maybe he'd lingered outside the door of the room where Eve burned, laughing as he listened to her screams. Maybe he'd smiled triumphantly to see Olivia hit the rocks with a heavy thud. And he'd done these things for no reason.
Suddenly noises reached my ears, carried on the wind. Car doors slamming, voices calling. What were they saying?
My name. The voices were shouting for me, and they were familiar.
"Here!" I cried. I ran past Merko's body, skidding, panting, desperate. I wasn't alone. Friends had come for me. "I'm here! I'm coming!"
It was day, I realized at last. The clouds were heavy and dark, yet a telltale glow lit the air. I guessed it was approaching afternoon, just a few hours after Merko had taken me from Austin's house.
Brandt and Austin appeared on the path at the other end of the beach. I could have wept with the relief of seeing them. They looked pale and clear-eyed, puffs of breath escaping their cold, trembling lips.
"Are you all right?" my brother asked, grasping my arms and looking me over. I could see him taking in the cuts and forming bruises with widening eyes.
"I'm fine," I assured him.
"Look," said Austin.
Their eyes traveled past me to where Merko still lay on the sand. The water was choppy in the wind and waves lapped at his legs. I felt a twinge of sympathy, which surprised me. Maybe my capacity for compassion was greater than I ever knew if I could bring myself to feel sorry for this man who had killed me twice and attempted to do so a third time.
"Leave him," Brandt suggested angrily.
"No," I said. "We should at least call for help. It can be anonymous."
"Are you crazy? He tried—"
"I know what he tried. And I know what he's done, better than you. Maybe a hospital can save him, maybe they can't. I don't really care." I broke away from my brother and started towards the path. "You guys get help, then do whatever you want. We're finished with him, but I have to find Ahaziel."
I turned and ran, wincing from the pain stinging at various parts of my body. I left behind the beach and the parking lot where Brandt's car sat, headlights blazing. I saw the lighthouse to my left, rising above snow-dusted trees, and imagined it crumbling into the sea. I wondered if I could petition the town to have it razed. Glaring at the lighthouse roof, as if it had single-handedly caused all my problems past and present, I turned away and headed into the forest as fast as I could manage.
The blood on me had dried over my cuts but now they opened again. I could feel warm trickles on my skin but paid it no heed. Nothing mattered but Ahaziel. I knew for certain he was hurt or else he would have come for me. As I ran I heard a crinkling sound in my jeans pocket that told me I'd stuffed the remaining fruit snacks in there at some point. That was all the help I could give him, but hopefully it would be all he needed.
He couldn't die. Not before I told him how much I cared for him.
I could picture the scene perfectly in my mind, Olivia sitting by the river at night, a silver necklace in one hand. Ahaziel was stepping out of the trees. I tried to remember the path she had taken to reach the river. Finding the spot where she'd first seen Ahaziel would get me closer to him. That was where he lived, I knew. That was where I'd find the yew tree from which the leaf had come. Where I'd find Ahaziel.
Still alive, I promised myself. Still alive.
The river was far. Farther than I'd expected. I heard the distant wail of sirens, barely within earshot, before they faded completely. Cold, humid air filled my lungs as I half-walked, half-jogged through the trees. With each stinging inhale I felt ever more anxious and afraid. Doubt and worry pulsed in me with every step. Shadows infused the forest and I wished I had a flashlight. I'd be there soon, I kept telling myself. Just past this tree . . . Just past the next one. Just a few more steps . . .
And then I was there, at the tree-lined edge of the river. The clearing looked much the same as it had in Olivia's time, though the log she'd sat on was long gone. I wiped my clammy, blood-encrusted hands on my jeans and glanced around. There were no footprints in the cold-stiffened mud, no sign that anyone had been here recently. Was I too late?
"Ahaziel?" The wind wasn't blowing here and my voice was tentative in the echoless air. I put one foot forward and it sank softly on a bed of leaves. I could hear the susurration of the river. But nothing else.
He's here, he's here. He had to be.
I walked to the far side of the clearing, my footsteps slow and measured on the hard ground. I tried to stay alert and focused, attuned to the sound of something other than me, some other footfall, some other breathing, some rustle of hair in the wind. I looked for his long sharp face, his sinewed forearms. But his skin would blend in well with all this bark, and his clothes were black as these shadows, and this was hopeless and I should never have come—
And then I saw him.
Lying at the base of a tree, a yew tree, head supported on a large root protruding from the earth, hair matted and netted over the bark. His eyes were closed but they opened as the breath whooshed out of me. He looked pale, though it was hard to tell in the failing light, and tired. Too tired. As if he could sleep forever.
"Lilly," he exhaled.
For a moment I stood there, frozen in confusion and helplessness, but then I remembered this was what I had come here for. This was Ahaziel, weak and ill in front of me. I crouched at his side, moistness seeping into the knees of my jeans. He didn't look to be broken or bleeding, but clothes hid most of his body.
"What happened?" I asked. "What can I do?"
"Nothing happened," he answered. "It's just been too long. Not since I saw you that first time."
"What do you mean?" I asked, digging around in my pocket for the fruit snacks.
"No souls." His voice was low, gravelly. "None drowned."
The blood drained from my face. He had to drown people or animals to stay alive, yet he hadn't done so since seeing Olivia? "What?" I whispered. "Ahaziel, you haven't been . . . How have you been staying alive?"
"It was the knowledge I'd see you again keeping me alive."
"Oh, Ahaziel, that isn't enough."
"It was, until now."
I dumped a handful of the snacks into one hand. "Eat these," I ordered, too confused and upset to cry. "I gave some to Merko and he turned human. It'll be the same for you. Remember when you told Olivia she could come with you by eating food from your world? This is food from mine. You can come with me."
He took a gummy from my hand and looked at it. "Food from your world," he confirmed. "Food you'v
e offered me."
I nodded vigorously. He looked at the gummy a moment longer, then put it in his mouth. I watched the muscles in his jaw ripple as he chewed slowly. I handed him another and another until the entire pack was emptied. It was crazy and it shouldn't have worked, but I had witnessed the change in Merko and now it seemed Ahaziel had regained some color and vigor.
"Do you feel different?" I asked eagerly.
"Better," he said with uncertainty.
"I have to tell you something." I squeezed one of his hands and caught his eyes with mine. "I love you, Ahaziel."
He brought my hands to his lips and kissed the knuckles lightly. "I've regretted so much," he said. "Everything you've suffered I have felt with equal intensity. The years we lost were a constant ache in me. But all the pain becomes bearable just to hear you say those words to me."
A tear slipped from the corner of one eye, trailing down my birthmark. "I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. But we'll be together now. I want to prove myself to you. I want to make you see the years you spent waiting for me weren't wasted. We'll start anew, Ahaziel, and be worthy of each other."
A break in the clouds drew our gazes upward. A clean, pale strip of sunlight fell upon us. It felt like a sign, pure and good. Ahaziel smiled and closed his eyes peacefully. I rested my head on his chest and breathed.
Epilogue
September, 2005
I've sat on the back porch for hours. This morning I sketched the red and gold trees, distant across the well-kept lawn, but later I started squeezing out watercolors for my painting. The dripping sun began on my right and now it's on my left, slanting off my elbow onto the wooden slats beneath my feet. There's still plenty of light left, but I can feel the warmth beginning to leave the crisp, clean air.
I look at the easel angled before me. Taped to the top corner is the photo I've been working from, a photo of a girl smiling, her cheeks full and shining with happiness. She is unembarrassed by the large red mark on the left side of her face, the mark echoed in diluted alizarin crimson in the painting of her, a self-portrait.
Unchanged Page 16