“Holly, Jake was in a twelve-hour surgery with Dr. Huyo that day…you couldn’t have spoken to him.”
“But I did!” she cried out, slapping the cushion with both hands before she pushed herself up off the sofa and hurried to the bathroom, her lower lip trembling. She managed to close the door just before the dam broke and her tears spilled over.
Why was Bernie here? Her presence complicated things for Holly. If it weren’t for Bernie, she could have kept her distance from the Peterses the whole weekend. It would’ve taken a lot of effort, but she’d worked it out in her panic-stricken mind, because she knew there’d be no way for the three of them to leave.
The truth was going to come out. Jake couldn’t have been in a twelve-hour surgery that day, because she’d spoken to him. He’d said those words. She wouldn’t have run without talking to him. She would’ve stayed, she would’ve been happy, and Romy would have more than likely survived.
“No!” She heard Bernie’s cry.
Holly recognized that tone, and tears streamed down her face. Jane must have told Bernie about Romy.
There was an almost imperceptible knock on the door, and then Bernie rushed in, her face red and blotchy, tears streaming down her cheeks. She sank down in front of Holly, who was sitting on the floor of all places, and wrapped her arms around her.
“I’m so sorry about…” she trailed off, unable to say Romy’s name.
Holly returned Bernie’s embrace, sobbing into her neck.
The two of them sat there, holding each other while they cried, until Bernie pulled away and wiped her eyes. She shuffled across the floor until she was sitting next to Holly, at which point Holly rested her head on her friend’s shoulder. They sat in silence for a long while.
“I was so mad at you. I questioned myself and thought I had no idea who you really were, meanwhile, that bastard found a way to speak to you, pretended he hadn’t when he came out of surgery, then pretended like he couldn’t breathe when he found out you were gone.”
“What do you mean?”
Bernie gave a sarcastic chuckle. “Oh, the show he put on, he could have won a fucking Oscar for that performance.”
“He said that? He couldn’t breathe?”
“Yeah. He called you a fucking bitch for not waiting, for deciding to abort his baby, and because you didn’t call me,” she started to cry again, “I didn’t know what to say.”
Holly squeezed Bernie’s hand. “I’m sorry. Leo’s his best friend. I couldn’t put you guys in the middle. Not contacting you was the best thing for me to do at the time. I couldn’t abort her, Bernie. I would never.”
“Well, fuck that. Leo will never see him again.”
“Bernie—” Holly’s heart raced.
“Do you want to leave this place? Because I don’t want to be here anymore, either.”
“We can’t leave.”
“Why not? Jake doesn’t deserve to know that girl in there. What’s her name?”
“My mom didn’t tell you?”
She shook her head.
“You’re going to hate me.”
“I doubt that. You, my girl, are back on that fucking pedestal.”
Holly let out a small chuckle. She couldn’t believe her best friend had thought she’d abort her child.
“Her name is Jamie—”
“Jamie is wonderful name,” Bernie cut in before Holly could finish.
“—Bernice.”
The woman who had once been her best friend simply gaped at her. “Jamie Bernice?”
Holly nodded.
“Why didn’t you phone me?” Fresh tears pooled in Bernie’s eyes and she wrapped her arms around Holly. “Fuck Leo’s and Jake’s friendship. We’ve known each other far longer. We were the three musketeers, for crying out loud. Didn’t I mean anything to you?”
“I’m so sorry, Bern,” Holly mumbled into her friend’s neck where she’d burrowed her face.
Bernie’s phone vibrated. Releasing her hold on Holly, she fished it out of her pocket. She grunted when she saw the name on the screen, but answered, anyway.
Holly put her hand on Bernie’ shoulder and mouthed, Don’t say anything.
Bernie nodded. “Busy,” Bernie said into the phone. “Leo, just give me time. I’m busy with something really important.” She ended the call. “You know we’re going to have to tell him sometime, Holly.”
“He’ll tell Jake.”
“Not if he knows the truth.”
“C’mon, Bern, they’re like you and me, thick as blood. Leo will for sure tell him, and I don’t have the money to fight him in court.”
“He has no fucking case, Holly.”
“That’s not how it works and you know it. Money talks in court.” She suddenly remembered the rainbow story she’d told Jamie. “Fuck!” she cried.
“What?”
“Jamie knows him.”
Bernie gasped. “What do you mean she knows him? Please, don’t tell me you told her stories about him.”
“What do you think? She’s a Peters through and through. She looks just like him, and what I meant was that I showed her his picture. Oh, and the intelligence is there as well. You have no idea how difficult it is to keep her stimulated. She asked the daddy question when she was two. I couldn’t tell her the truth, Bernie. I just couldn’t.”
“Why didn’t you tell her he was dead?”
“I’m not like you. If I did that and she discovered the truth when she grew up, she’d be devastated.”
Bernie sighed. “You are way too good for that fucking asshole.”
“It doesn’t help blaming it all on him. I should’ve stayed. Should’ve just stopped him in his web of lies. Do you think that Gus would’ve—”
“Holly, of course he would’ve. He would never abandon a sick pregnant woman because his son suddenly lost his balls. Gus probably would have beaten him silly. Both Jake and Mara lied.” Bernie shook her head. “I should’ve seen right through Jake that night. Should’ve known everything was a fluke, a lie to cover up his mess. His cowardice.”
“He could’ve changed his mind,” Holly said.
“Whatever, I don’t care.”
“What changed your mind now…to believe me, and hate him?”
“I knew you loved him with all your heart and the true Holly…she hasn’t change one bit. You wouldn’t have run if you had spoken to him. I told them you would rather die than abort. I told them that. I guess my words made him feel like he was responsible. He didn’t want you to die, probably just wanted to find you to make sure that you had the abortion, which would have let him off the hook.”
“Yeah, probably.”
“I’m sorry I gave up. I never should have given up. Where did you go when you left?”
“I went to my father. I had nowhere else to go.”
Bernie grunted. “You forgave him, didn’t you?”
Holly nodded. “I shouldn’t have. I left one devil to make a deal with another.”
“And what price did you have to pay?”
“He wants every single penny back.”
“I don’t understand him. Why?”
“Because of the occupation I chose. He thinks my reason for choosing to go in that direction is shallow.”
Bernie squinted. “What occupation?”
Holly laughed. “I’m in my final year of med school, Bern.”
“You’re going to be what, a nurse, a doctor?”
“Doctor. But my father wanted me to join his firm. I didn’t. He discovered that Jamie’s father is a doctor, has his suspicions on who it might be, and hated the fact that I was being so pathetic.”
“Pathetic? You dad is seriously screwed up.”
“I would also be if I was married to a wicked witch,” Holly said on a laugh, and Bernie chuckled.
When their laughter died down, Bernie rubbed Holly’s back. “How was it?”
“Horrible, just horrible.”
“You know you need to tell me more than that.”
She went on to tell her about the girls’ birth, and even the stupid vision she’d had of seeing Jake when she’d flatlined.
Bernie’s bottom lip trembled. “You died?”
“I did…and I came back, but when Romy died, I wished I hadn’t.” She wiped her eyes with her hand. “I don’t wish it on anyone.”
They spoke about Romy, her symptoms, what it was like, and how badly Holly had wanted her to pull through but that she had just been too weak. And then she tried to explain the pain.
Bernie had experienced the pain of loss when Holly’s sister died, but there was no way she could make her friend understand the pain she’d felt at the loss of her daughter—was still feeling. Losing a child was so much more painful than losing a sibling, a parent, a friend. She struggled to find the words to explain it, then finally gave up.
“I now understand why my mother started drinking after Jamie died, why she just gave up. I wanted to give up. I wanted the pain to go away, but she”—she pointed in the direction she thought her mother still was—“pulled me through, gave me hope. She is my rock, Bern.”
“I was your rock, too. You should’ve phoned me.”
“I’m so sorry. I wish I were stronger, tougher, so I could tell everyone fuck off,” she said, putting emphasis on the last two words.
Bernie chuckled. “Just a little, though. But I love every bit of you.” She brushed a strand of Holly’s hair out of her face. “Let me guess, you cut it because of little hands pulling and tugging.”
Holly chuckled and nodded.
Bernie sighed. “You deserve the world, Holly.” Her phone rang again. “I said I need time,” Bernie hissed the minute she answered, then promptly ended the call before Leo could say anything.
“It’s not Leo’s fault.”
“No, it’s just his fault that his asshole friend was more important to you than me.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Yes, it was. But it’s okay now. I’ve got you back. Never again. I don’t care who the other person is. It could be my brother for all I care, but no one is coming between our friendship again.”
“Oh, please.”
“You know what I mean. It’s you and me, girl, against the world. Always was. Why did you forget that?”
“Probably for the same reason why you gave up on me, Bern. We’re just human.”
“Well, never again. Promise me, Holly.”
“I promise.”
“Pack your bags. You’re not staying here, and I don’t care what Frank says.”
Holly sighed but nodded.
Bernie got up. “I’ll tell Leo in private, okay? Jake won’t know about her, I promise. He deserves Kate. I hope she makes his life a miserable hell.”
Holly raised her eyebrows. Clearly, Bernie didn’t like Kate one bit.
Four
JAKE
* * *
Jake leaned against the bar and admired the surroundings. The lodge was majestic and relaxing, the scenery around it awe-inspiring. He threw back his drink, his eyes trained on the strawberry-blond waitress who was serving guests a few tables away.
Whenever he saw a flash of strawberry-blond hair, he thought of her, and he’d inevitably end up screwing the strawberry-blond—he was already planning on doing just that with the waitress.
Sighing, he took a swig of the drink the bartender placed before him. He shouldn’t ask Kate to marry him, especially not when he knew he’d never stop cheating on her with every damn woman with a particular shade of hair color he happened to cross paths with.
When had his life become so screwed up? He was a monster, and he disgusted himself.
He looked over at his best friend, Leo, who was slipping his phone back into his pocket. Worry creased his friend’s brow. He’d just gotten off the phone with Bernie for the second time. She’d disappeared during dinner without telling Leo where she was going, and when he phoned her the first time, she’d told him she was busy and hung up.
“Everything okay, bud? You guys fighting?”
“No.” Leo shook his head. “She’s just acting weird.”
“How?” Jake swirled his drink around in his glass.
“I swear, if she’s pregnant again…”
“Three kids won’t be the end of the world.”
“Maybe not to you, considering you have all the money in the world.”
“Then take me up on my offer to be your silent partner and let’s start that construction business you’re keen on.”
“Yeah well, if she is pregnant again, I’ll probably have to take you up on it.”
Both laughed at that, but their laughter soon died out.
Jake had hoped that the rift he’d caused in their friendship by ignoring Leo and Bernie for an entire year would have healed by now, but things remained a little strained.
Unfortunately, Jake still craved for a mutual friend of theirs, the one who’d broken his heart into a million pieces. The reason why Kate was struggling to mend it.
This was his life now. Putting up a pretense with Kate was for the best, and he had to accept it. He wasn’t meant to be alone.
But he would never love anyone the way he loved Holly. Of that, there was no doubt.
When the bartender placed another round of drinks in front of them, they thanked him and moved to a table near the railing, which overlooked of the lake.
Their conversation was stilted, so Jake threw back drink after drink, merely to keep his hands and his mouth busy. Leo, on the other hand, checked his phone repeatedly, and occasionally glanced toward the tiki bar’s entrance.
Jake drummed his fingers on the table in time to the beat of the loud music. He was starting to get tipsy, which was a bad idea. When he got tipsy, he had no filter, inevitably saying things he regretted the next day.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Bernie returned. It was evident by her red eyes and blotchy face that she’d been crying.
“Oh…fuck, she is pregnant,” Leo mumbled, hanging his head in defeat.
“Well, you’re gonna have to deal with it, dude.”
“Yeah, she’d kill me if I suggested anything else.”
When Leo caught Bernie searching the crowd, he raised his arm and waved her over.
As soon as she saw him, she stormed over to their table, her face contorted with anger.
Jake frowned, darting his eyes in Leo’s direction.
Leo merely shrugged. “You okay, babe?” Leo asked.
“I need to talk to you. In private.”
“Babe, are you pregnant?”
She glared at Leo in such a way that Jake found it comical, but he tried his damndest to suppress his laughter.
“Oh, wipe that smug look off your face,” she snapped.
Jake laughed at that. “Sorry, Bern, it’s great news.”
“Whatever,” she huffed. “Let’s go.”
Jake’s smile vanished. She was angry, fucking angry at that, but he felt as if it was directed at him.
“Would it be a problem if I stayed?”
“Yes. I mean it, Leo. Let’s go.” Her cheeks were now red.
Leo stood. “Babe, you’re freaking me out. What’s going on?”
“Leo, can we please go to our room? We’ll talk there. I don’t want to be here,” she whispered the last bit.
Jake turned his head to Kate, who had joined them right after Bernie had. “What happened?”
“How should I know? She’s been missing for the past two hours, Jake,” Kate answered.
“Well, something happened, and as it’s usually the two of you going at it, it’s why I’m asking,” Jake muttered.
Leo was pressing Bernie to tell him what was going on, and Jake had to admit that he was curious as to why she was so upset.
“I’m l
ivid. Lies, all these fucking lies, Leo. I’m tired.”
“What lies?” Kate snapped.
“Kate…” Jake cautioned.
“She is making a scene. I told you I didn’t want scenes.”
Bernie sneered. “Don’t worry, princess, we’ll be gone soon.”
“Wait, what?” Both Leo and Jake sputtered simultaneously.
“Thank heaven for small miracles,” Kate spat scathingly.
“Kate!” Jake snapped, shaking his head at her. “Bernie, please, what’s going on?” He reached a hand out to her, but she flinched away.
Her lip curled in distaste as she looked him right in the eye. “Don’t you dare! I wholeheartedly believed you, Jake. You deserve everything you’re getting. You deserve to be fucking unhappy. Everything bad that comes your way for the rest of your life, you deserve it, you fucking liar!”
“Okay, let’s go.” Leo started to pull her away. “Sorry, everyone.”
“Oh, piss off! Go back to your perfect little lives,” Bernie yelled at the group.
“Enough. Let’s go.” Leo led her away by the arm.
Kate whirled on Jake. “Jake, she is crazy, I don’t want her here.”
Jake shook his head and glared at her. “She’s not crazy. Something happened to make her turn on me. I need to find out what that is.”
“No. You stay right here. I’m not going to enjoy this evening alone. It’s time for you to face facts. Your friendship with Leo is not what it used to be.”
“He’s my best friend, Kate,” Jake growled.
“He was your best friend. He’s not anymore.”
* * *
HOLLY
* * *
Shortly after Bernie left, Frank returned to check on them. Her mother told Frank that she’d taken some aspirin and something for her stomach, and that he didn’t have to worry; she just needed to rest.
Thankfully, Frank didn’t see through her mother’s act. They managed to convince him to go back to his friends, with Jane asking him to send her apologies to Gus and Mara.
Luck Page 3