by Drew Sera
After having spent two hours walking around the Luxor this morning, playing video poker and watching basketball highlights in the sports book, I had a pancake breakfast in the café. Finally, I made it to work and met Colin in the atrium for coffee. He was already seated and sipping on his coffee when I sat down.
“Hey, man,” he greeted me. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like shit.”
“Good. I spent a few extra minutes to make sure I perfected the ‘looking like shit’ look,” I jabbed back sarcastically.
I really was feeling down, and my face probably couldn’t hide it. I needed to keep this under control and not bring Colin down. I decided to let him enjoy the paper and his coffee.
“I’m going to head up to my office and work on the first quarter reports,” I said and stood.
Colin looked surprised and set the paper down.
“I’m sorry about the ‘looking like shit’ comment. You ok?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I didn’t sleep well and just have some stuff on my mind. Getting busy with work will be good for me.”
He nodded, and I grabbed my coffee and headed to my office. Sometimes I forget I’m the CFO now and will go left towards my old cubicle when I get off the elevator instead of veering to the right toward my office. On my way, I was hit by many of the morning greetings that the ladies often throw at me. They feed my ego, but this morning I just didn’t have the energy to flash a smile or wink at them.
“Happy Birthday, Mr. Graves,” Hannah, my secretary said.
I stopped in my tracks. I didn’t want anyone to know it was my birthday.
“How did you know?”
“It’s on the calendar, sir.”
“The calendar?”
“Human Resources sends out a daily birthday email.”
Shit.
“I know, I’ve seen them. I just thought that was for people who volunteered to give out their birthday info,” I said.
I went into my office and shut the door. I’m hoping that with my door being shut it’ll keep birthday well-wishers away. Around 11:30, Colin came in and sat down in front of my desk.
“Let’s go. It’s lunchtime,” he said.
I nodded and grabbed my keys; it was my turn to drive. He talked sports with me on our way, but when we sat down for lunch, the conversation shifted some and I hadn’t been prepared for it.
“Lots of people hate celebrating their birthdays. You know, they’re a whole year older and stuff,” he started.
I nodded and sipped on my Coke. I think Colin was trying to get me to elaborate on why I wasn’t fond of my birthday. I wasn’t going to though. He didn’t need to know what truly had me down.
“It’s your first birthday without your dad,” Colin said quietly.
Fuck me.
I was glad we were sitting outside and I was hiding behind my sunglasses, just in case I wasn’t fully in control of my emotions.
“You’re still very young, so I didn’t think that you were upset over the age thing.” Colin joked, and I smiled even though I felt the ache in my chest gathering strength. Colin leaned back in his chair and sipped from his water glass. “I turned ten for my first birthday without my parents and my brother. Fucking sucked. I hated the world. I didn’t want anyone to say anything to me on my birthday. It had been a tradition in my house that on our birthday, my dad and Matt’s dad would take us and some friends to see a Giants game. I didn’t want to go that year when I turned ten, but Matt’s dad insisted. He said it would be good for me and that my dad and brother would be there in spirit with me.” Colin paused and took another drink from his glass. “I went, and I cried throughout the game and leaned on Matt’s dad’s arm. We went the following year when I turned eleven, and I still cried. I think it wasn’t until my twentieth birthday before I could get through a game without crying or getting watery eyes.”
Colin and I laughed a little.
“The heartache gets better with time, Anth.”
I nodded and took a deep breath. My chest felt like a car was parked on it. It was heavy, and I felt like I could be crushed under it at any given moment. Blake has said this to me as well, though I hadn’t believed him. It wasn’t that I thought he was lying to me, but was skeptical that this ache will ever go away.
“Did you and your dad do fun stuff on your birthday?” he asked.
“Yeah. Well, sort of. I hadn’t seen my dad for my birthdays when I was little. When I moved in with him during my senior year of high school, we did stuff together.”
Colin smiled and nodded along.
“I won’t get all college-girl chatty with you, but I just wanted you to know that I remember what my first birthday was like without them. I know what you’re feeling, and I know you’ve got a rock sitting on your chest today,” he said.
I was quickly losing control of my watery eyes and took another deep breath and looked away before the tears embarrassed me. Colin seemed to understand exactly how I was feeling. It was great that he knew, but I didn’t need to say anything about it.
Colin paid the bill for lunch, and as we got up from the table to head to the parking lot, he flung his arm around my shoulder and squeezed my upper arm.
“Heavy heart day, Anth.”
On our way back, he nonchalantly asked me if I liked cupcakes.
“I do.”
“Good, because there’s a strong chance that the ladies at work have thrown together cupcakes for your birthday.”
“What? They didn’t have to do that.”
“Oh, trust me, they were more than happy to. A slew of them came to me this morning asking if they could organize a quick afternoon gathering. I knew you weren’t feeling too hot today, so I asked them to keep it low key.”
I laughed at the thought of all these women who seem to “love” me. If they only knew I had nothing to give, they’d learn. They’d learn quickly that I’m a shell of a man that would never be able to give any of them anything other than quick, earth-shattering sex.
Around 2:00, Colin came into my office to take me to my little party.
“Come on birthday boy. It’s cupcake time.”
I followed him out into the main area and saw a few balloons and on a large table were cupcakes. The table was surrounded by the several women who put this together. I looked down, and the cupcakes had bear faces on them. Not scary bears but a goofy faced bear grinning. A UCLA Bruin looking bear. I turned and looked at Colin, and he shrugged his shoulders as if he were innocent.
“You ladies came up with these bears on your own?” I playfully asked.
“We had a little help, Mr. Graves,” one of the red-cheeked ladies replied.
Another lady pushed a closed pink bakery box toward me.
“Mr. Everett said for us to get these special for you,” another lady said.
I opened the bakery box and laughed. Inside were six cupcakes and they were decorated with either dark blue frosting or white frosting, and in yellow or blue icing it either said: “Cal” or “Bears” on it.
“Yeah! Now you guys are talking,” I said and pulled out a “Cal” cupcake.
Colin stood next to me and ate his goofy face bear cupcake that was decorated with UCLA colors.
“Thanks, man,” I said as I shoved the cupcake in my mouth.
“You didn’t think I was going to make you eat Bruin decorated cupcakes, did you?” Colin said.
“I wasn’t sure.”
We stood around with the employees and ate cupcakes, and I took the remaining ones to my office. Colin followed me with what appeared to be a ball that was wrapped up, and he tossed it to me after I set the cupcakes down. I tore the paper off and stared at an orange foam ball with “Cal Bears” stamped on it. It was about the size of a basketball, and I tossed it in the air.
“This is great, thank you. You didn’t have to do this though; the cupcakes and ball.”
“Cupcakes were a must. It’s part of the job. The ball, on the other hand, I thought that was right up your al
ley.”
Colin and I wasted the afternoon away sitting in my office, eating cupcakes, and talking about some of the unattached subs and bottoms at Irons. I never thought I’d have a friend; like a really good friend to laugh or watch a game with. Colin and I were becoming good friends, and I started to feel a little better the longer I sat there laughing with him.
“So, dinner and Irons tonight?” Colin asked.
“You already bought me lunch, cupcakes, and a ball. Now you want to buy me dinner and take me to get my rocks off?” I asked him.
We both burst out laughing. It has to be all the sugar I’ve ingested. Colin threw my foam ball at my chest, which made us laugh harder.
“I’m not buying you dinner; Matt is.”
“Does Matt know he’s buying me dinner?”
“Not yet.”
I was high on sugar. Everything was hilarious to us. Colin looked at his watch, and I apologized for taking up most of the afternoon doing unimportant things.
“This was important, Anth. So, it’s 4:30 now. Go home, change and meet us at Vito’s Restaurant at 7:00. You and I can tie up that little caramel colored hair bottom tonight.”
I laughed at his description of one of the submissives.
“Caramel colored hair,” I tried containing my laughter. “What, are you some hair stylist color expert?”
“Details, my dear Anthony. It’s all in the fine details,” Colin pretended to have a serious tone but failed miserably when he laughed.
As he headed out of my office, I threw the foam ball at his back and hit him square between the shoulder blades. He pointed at me with the ball and lobbed it back to me.
“You started a war there, birthday boy.” I laughed and shook my head. “See you at seven, Anth.”
I nodded and quickly shut down my computer and headed home. I was feeling so much better than I had been today.
By dinner, the sugar had worn off, and I was ready for real food. The three of us took our seats, and Matt asked how the office birthday bash went.
“I was surprised! And he didn’t make me eat one of those UCLA Bruin cupcakes,” I said to Matt.
While I was talking about the cupcakes, Blake approached the table. I had no idea he was going to be here too.
“Good, I didn’t miss dinner,” Blake said as he put his hand on my shoulder before sitting down by Matt. “Happy Birthday, Anthony.”
“Thanks! I didn’t know you were coming tonight,” I said to Blake.
Blake smiled and glanced at Colin before looking at me. He pointed to Colin and said, “Better keep your eye on this one...he’s a sneaky organizer.”
Colin’s a great friend. I now know what it’s like to have a real friend. I didn’t know what to say, so I just smiled and nodded.
“So, what’s the plan tonight, gentlemen?” Blake asked us.
“Anth and I are going to take that little caramel colored hair girl down into the depths of the dungeon tonight,” Colin said.
“She does have a name,” Matt pointed out. “But now that I think about it, I’m not sure what it is.”
The four of us laughed, and Blake said that her name was Ella. I nodded and would try to remember that for tonight. I hope she’s there. I haven’t had my tongue in Ella before, and the thought of it filled my mind during dinner.
An hour later, and after a giant piece of chocolate cake, my tongue was buried in Ella. As Colin and I walked out of the dungeon stall with Ella, Paul was leaning against a stone pillar in the hallway. Our eyes connected as he approached me. Colin and Ella continued to the care stations, but I stopped. Mostly, I stopped so that he wouldn’t follow us to the care stations.
“Master Graves,” Paul sneered. “In need of that beating yet? Maybe a birthday spanking.”
What a fucking dick. I didn’t flinch or show any sign that he was intimidating me. Instead, I wiped my mouth with my hand, making sure he caught my non-verbal reminder that I’m the one negotiating scenes while he’s watching me scene.
“Too bad you’re so caught up in me. You’re missing out on some fantastic pussy,” I said smugly and walked away from him.
“God, you’ve got a mouth on you, Graves. Someone should teach your ass some manners. If you were my slave, I’d beat you daily,” Paul said just loud enough to me to hear as I walked away. I could have kept walking but he threw gas on the fire. “I think the father you ache for should have beat your ass. A fucking spoiled prince is all you are, Graves. Your daddy raised a fucking spoiled prince.”
I turned and walked right up to him. There was barely a foot of space between us. I tried so hard to calm down.
“Don’t say a fucking thing about my father. You don’t know a goddam thing about my dad…or me.”
“I know you’re a spoiled boy who misses his daddy and desperately needs a rough, physical session.”
Stunned, I stood there staring at him. Suddenly, an arm flung around my shoulder. I jumped a little because it surprised me. It was Colin. He tugged me to walk away with him.
As we walked away, Colin shook me a bit as we approached the bench that Ella was sitting on. Paul walked behind us and said, “I see. You submit to the Casino Man.”
Colin turned to face Paul the same time I did.
“I don’t submit to anyone,” I firmly said.
“Please excuse us, Paul. But Anthony and I need to tend to the submissive we scened with tonight.”
I motioned for Ella to stand and the three of us made it to the care stations. I detested Paul. What’s worse, I hate how his words affect me. I need to pay zero attention to him. I didn’t submit to Colin, and I’m certainly not submissive. I can’t tell if Paul is just fucking with me, trying to get me to think I’m submissive…or if he really thought I was submissive.
The fact that I thought of that shit while providing after care bothered me to no end. After Ella went home and Colin and I had our wind-down time at the bar, I went home as well.
Chapter Eight
March 1997
After Anthony left for the night, I leaned against the bar with Matt and listened to him talk about his scene tonight. While Matt was chatting, Paul took a seat at a small table in the bar. I bumped Matt’s arm, and he paused with his story.
“Hey, sorry. Can we continue this in a minute? I need to talk to that guy. He’s was being a dick and interrupted us while we were on the way to the care station.”
“Isn’t that one of the board members?” Matt asked me.
I nodded.
“Be right back,” I said.
Abandoning my beer at the bar, I approached Paul’s table. He looked up at me and narrowed his eyes. What’s with this guy?
“Mind if I sit?” I asked.
“Depends,” Paul answered.
I was hoping we’d be able to have a respectful conversation, but I threw that plan out the window as I took a seat across from him.
“I’m Colin.”
“I know who you are. Anyone in this country who looks at business magazines knows who you are. Forbes top 30 under 30.”
What an asshole.
“Forgive me then,” I said sarcastically. “I assumed that since you referred to me as the ‘Casino Man’ earlier, that maybe you actually didn’t know my name.”
“I know all about you, Colin Everett.”
I laughed a bit and leaned forward, resting my forearms on the table.
“No, I’m positive that you don’t know anything about me. You may know about my business, but you don’t know me.”
“You’re just another rich kid. Now, what can I help you with? You’re interrupting my beer.”
“Well, I know you are a board member of Irons and part of the mentoring program—”
Paul interrupted me, which is what I was hoping for.
“I’m not part of the mentoring program anymore.” Paul’s voice seeped with anger.
“Oh, that’s right. Blake removed you from the mentoring program. Well, anyhow…you should be familiar with protocol and eti
quette.” He nodded. “If you ever approach Anthony or me when we’re trying to get to a care station with a submissive, I will file a formal complaint with the Irons board.”
“Who the fuck do you think you are making idle threats to me?”
“I’m the Casino Man.” I stood up, feeling confident that I made my point clear. “Oh, one more thing…stay away from Anthony.”
“Are you his keeper?”
“No. I’m his friend. Stay the fuck away from him.”
I didn’t give Paul the opportunity for another response and made my way back to the bar. Matt stared at me over the rim of his glass as he stood sideways.
“What?” I asked him.
“Nothing. Just making sure the guy doesn’t come after you,” Matt joked.
Even though we shared a laugh, I was fully aware of the seriousness of Paul’s behavior. I found it extremely odd that a board member for one of the most prestigious clubs in the country would dare interrupt after care unless the building was on fire.
Paul is a hot head, and for the most part, I have him figured out. There are a few things I’m not sure of with him; one is why he’s so obsessed with getting a rise out of Anthony. He clearly doesn’t like Anthony, and I don’t know if there is some bad blood there or what. Maybe there’s a prior altercation between them.
One thing I’m certain of is that I don’t like the guy.
Chapter Nine
July 2000
I closed the portfolio that was in front of me. I had looked at these plans a million times since winter, and I was happy with them…after close to a dozen revisions. I signed the contract and would have my bank wire the deposit to the architecture firm Monday morning. The contract took longer than I had anticipated, but I got the price down a bit more and was pleased. I was running late for my Friday afternoon golf outing with Colin and Matt.