by Taylor Rose
Figgy cleared her throat.
“Figueroa Ryan,” she declared.
Dr. Harper’s eyes opened widely in shock. He mumbled something inaudible.
Figgy squeezed my hand.
“Well, Miss Ryan, although this looks bad, you will eventually heal, I promise. The injured area may be tender for a while, that’s your body’s way of telling you not to push it too hard, too fast. First, I’m going to numb the area around the cuts and then I’m going to stitch you right up,” he explained. “You will scar, nothing can be done about that and for that, I am sorry.”
Figgy squeezed her eyes together tightly and nodded her head in total understanding.
I watched as the doctor moved around the room, collecting the items he needed to stitch my girl back up. A needle, surgical thread, gauze, a bandage, and a squirt bottle full of a clear liquid sat on the metal table to Figgy’s right.
A snapping sound echoed throughout the room as the doctor pulled a new pair of latex gloves over his hands. He moved over to Figgy’s left side and started cleaning her cuts with the solution in the squirt bottle.
Air hissed between Figgy’s teeth as the clear liquid made contact with her exposed flesh.
“Mother fucking shit,” Figgy cursed. Her hand gripped mine tighter than before, almost to the point where she was cutting off my circulation.
The doctor’s eyebrows shot to his hairline. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t think that it would hurt you after–,” his voice trailed off, and his face paled as he realized what he had just been about to say. He gulped and his Adams apple bobbed around in his throat. “I’m just –I’m really– sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Figgy ground out, her teeth clenched together tightly.
He filled a needle with a murky colored liquid and numbed her skin before proceeding.
Methodically, the doctor got to work on stitching up her cuts. First under both of her breasts and then the larger cut on her stomach. Little black lines with little black dots in the center of each line were visible on her skin. The doctor applied some kind of gel on each stitched up wound before placing the gauze and bandage over them.
Figgy opened her eyes a crack and her grip loosened up a little as the doctor turned away from us, pulled his gloves off and threw them in the trash can by the door. Before turning back to face us, I watched his shoulders rise and fall rapidly as if he was trying to catch his breath.
“I’ve got to go and grab some papers for you to take with you. It’ll explain everything you need to know about taking care of your cuts while they heal. What you can and can’t do, how to make sure they stay clean and uninfected, and even a way that might help you so that you don’t scar as much. I’m also going to grab some disinfectant gel that you’ll need to apply to your cuts twice a day. I’ll be back in just a second.”
Dr. Harper rushed out of the room like a bat out of hell.
“We have nowhere to go,” Figgy whispered to herself, just now finishing our conversation from earlier.
I scoffed.
Her head snapped to the side and our gazes locked. Only, she wasn’t actually looking at me, she looked like she was gazing off into the distance. Hollow. Empty. A-fucking-lone. “Really, though. This whole time, I was sitting here thinking – contemplating – what to do. Where we would go,” she whispered, her voice hoarse. “Only to come up with nothing. Not a damn thing. We have nowhere to fucking go.”
I scoffed again. This time, angrier. My lip curled up, because was she kidding? They had nowhere to go? Did she really think I was letting either of them out of my sight for even a second? As-fucking-if.
“What?” she asked irritated, her temper flaring. She cocked her head to the side with more attitude then before. Her blue eyes blazed to life as she glared at me with menace.
“Both of you are coming home with me, baby,” I gritted out, jutting my chin out in warning.
She rolled her fiery blue eyes at me. “Am not,” she quipped, her head snapping straight up and her shoulders locking up. Stubborn shit.
“Like fucking hell you aren’t,” I growled. No way in hell were either of them going anywhere else.
She opened her mouth to reply, but I cut her off by placing my index finger over her pink, puffy lips.
“Keep those beautiful lips sealed. This is how it’s gonna go. You’re coming home with me. End of discussion. No if’s, and’s, or but’s fucking about it. I will not stand for anything else. Your fine ass may be stubborn, but I will not budge about this. Get me?” I drawled, my voice deeper, huskier and holding more authority than usual.
She nodded, her eyes open wide with shock and a little bit of arousal. She blinked slowly, as if trying to determine what and the hell had just happened.
I crossed my arms over my chest and smirked at her.
“I said, get me?” I asked once more, needing to hear the words straight from her lips.
“Got you,” she murmured breathily.
“Thank fucking god,” I breathed out. Fucking Christ.
“Time to go,” Cooper whispered to us, speaking up for pretty much the first time since we got here. Looking over, I noticed Aqua’s head leaning in the crook of his neck. Her eyes were closed, she’d fallen asleep.
“Meet you at the car,” I told him, giving them a head start. He’ll need a few minutes to get her in the car anyways.
He grunted at me, but got up with Aqua still sleeping in his arms and walked out the door. Once the door closed, I looked at Figgy. My eyes slowly traveled down her body, lingering on the hem of my shirt that reached about mid-thigh. I licked my lips, grinning to myself.
My dick was hard as a fucking rock, pressing up against the zipper on my jeans. All this, just from looking at her.
Leaning down, I wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t have pants or shoes on, so there was no way she was just walking out of here like that. I had to carry her. Without complaint, she let me lift her into my arms. Looking up, she smiled at me with her white teeth gleaming, and a little dimple on the right side of her face.
I stared at her for minutes on end without a word. It was as if I was placed on pause with her safely wrapped up in my arms.
Even after all the terrible that happened today, my girl was still smiling.
Goddamn beautiful.
Tragedy doesn’t define you.
Tragedy will never define you.
What defines you is how you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and rebuild from that tragedy.
As I carried Figgy out the door, Dr. Harper stood at the reception desk waiting for us. He handed Figgy a manila envelope.
“Read this when you get home, dear,” he explained and handed her a card. “Once you’re feeling better, please call me. We have something we need to talk about.”
He scurried away from us without a reply.
“Thanks!” Figgy yelled to him, but I just kept on moving. The faster we got out of here, the faster we would be home.
Home with Figgy.
Making the best of a bad situation was something I excelled at. Always had, always would.
Practice makes perfect and all that shit.
Boom!
A crash sounded, shaking the walls of the room I was in, jolting me from dreamland. A florescent bright light blinded my vision, leaving me temporarily unable to see.
Voices murmured and mumbled things I was unable to comprehend.
Warmth seeped into my right hand, which was surrounded by a warm shield. It calmed my rapidly beating heart, soothing my nerves with its heat.
I blinked rapidly, clearing my vision. What I saw shocked me to my very being.
I was in a bright room, shiny metal instruments lined a metal table, and machines hung from the very white walls. An older doctor stood on my left, leaning against the wall with wrinkled skin. His eyes looked haunted, as if he had just witnessed something pure evil. Standing on the wall opposite of me was a guy I had never seen before. His
tall body was crumpled a little because he was slouched over with his head hanging down. His hands were stuffed in his black jeans pockets. A tight grey colored t-shirt looked painted on his upper body. His muscles were taut under the fabric and flexed every couple of seconds. He had blonde colored hair, longer in the front and shorter on the sides. The front part kind of angled at one side.
I was unable to see his face, and yet I knew without a doubt that guy was goddamn gorgeous. An Adonis of the now for sure.
Moving on.
Continuing my attendance of the room, I moved my head to the right wall. My heart slammed into my rib cage while fear clawed up my throat.
Sitting in a chair on the right wall of the room was Aqua, my innocent little sister.
She was curled up in the lap of her dark angel, who seemed to watch out for her at all times. Cooper was her defensive wall, always blocking her from the bad. Just like now. His arms were curled around her small body, protecting her. Her head was nuzzled into his chest, her legs wrapped around his torso. Rather than looking haunted, Cooper looked right through me. As if I wasn’t sitting here at all. His eyes had glazed over, leaving him unaware of what was actually going on right in front of him.
Sitting next to me on right, was Kieran. My prince. My charming. His honey colored eyes filled with worry, ribbons of white swirled in them creating a storm effect. His brown wavy hair was pulled into a man bun on his head, some random curly strands stuck out. His plump lips formed a pout. Stubble lined his cheeks, upper lip, and chin. This casted a five o’clock shadow on his beautiful face. His right hand was holding onto his chin and he let his nails rake back and forth over his skin. His left hand was clutching mine in a death grip, my small hand was swallowed up by his huge one.
I tightened my hand, squeezing his in the process.
“Kieran?” I rasped. My throat felt like razor blades had sliced through it.
Kieran’s head snapped up and his golden eyes locked onto mine. I felt heat creep up my neck, causing a blush to sweep my face.
Moving quickly, he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on my forehead.
“I’m here, baby,” he murmured. The heat from his breath floated across my skin. “I’m here.”
I shuddered.
“Where am I?” My lips felt parched, so I licked them. My tongue left a path of saliva in its wake.
Kieran cleared his throat in a loud and long cough. His eyes were locked on mine as if he was unable to look away.
Eyes are the window to your soul, so the saying goes.
One thing nobody wants to see reflected in the gaze of another person, is pity. No matter the circumstances. Pity was a toxin, one that would rot its way through your very soul, ripping you to shreds even deeper than the thing that actually happened to you. Pity was a miserable bitch who loved to drag anyone and everyone down with her.
But unless you’ve been on the other side of the equation, you wouldn’t know that.
People look at you with pity when something bad happens to you. They “feel bad” about whatever the problem was, when in all reality, it has nothing to do with them and they are just glad it wasn’t them in that situation.
Take your pity, and shove it up your tight little asshole.
So when I locked eyes with Kieran and saw hope reflected in his gaze, my heart thumped harder in my chest, my blood quickened and rushed through my veins, and my spirit lifted.
No pity.
His hope.
His strength.
His support.
For me.
My chest puffed out with pride, knowing that the man in front of me has faith in my abilities. That he could see my strength, even when all of the evidence suggested I was, in fact, very weak.
He gave my hand a squeeze before letting go, his fingers leaving behind a trail of heat across my skin in their wake.
“The hospital, baby,” he coaxed, his voice all breathy like.
I tilted my head to the side, looking at him with my heart in my eyes.
Memories flooded back. Bile rose up my throat, burning on its way up. Forcing the muscles in my throat to constrict, I stopped myself from vomiting. Barely.
They saw.
They saw what he did to me.
They saw the damage he inflicted on my body.
They saw the weak person I was, unable to fight back.
They saw me at my weakest. Broken and beaten.
Completely lost.
I clenched my jaw, as a cool focus took over my thoughts.
There’s a difference between losing, and being defeated.
I may have lost the battle, but I will not lose the war. I will not be defeated.
I let my mind recant the events of what happened tonight. I steeled myself for the thoughts that would swirl through my mind, I clenched my fists, my nails digging into the skin of my hands, leaving indentations in their wake.
I was the one this happened to, but if I broke, I would give Buzz what he always wanted.
My compliance.
My fear.
My sanity.
My life.
So instead, I stayed strong. I fought to get myself back. I’d even go to therapy to help with the mind mumbo jumbo this inflicted. I would do anything to become stronger, and use this to help me become an even better person.
To fight.
To be the real me.
Replaying the night in my mind wasn’t bad. It was awful. It was dis-fucking-gusting.
You can break my body, but you will never break my spirit.
Hazy thoughts floated through my mind, the end of the night finally replaying as if on repeat. In shock, my jaw dropped.
I blamed the blood loss.
I blamed the shock my body had been in.
I blamed the stories my mom used to tell me before bedtime about fairytales.
Because what the fuck?
This wasn’t Camelot. I wasn’t some helpless damsel in distress in need of a goddamn knight in shining fucking armor. Especially one who happened to be royalty.
And yet, I called him my prince. My charming. My knight. He swooped in and saved me from more horrific events.
Blood loss. I blamed the blood loss.
“What happened to you, dear?” the doctor asked me as he leaned up against the wall.
My eyes were opened wide with shock as I looked around the room once more, flitting across the occupants. They would hear my answer. Panic hit me in the gut like a freight train, because even though all of these people saw what he did to me, they didn’t know the details. If I answered the doctor, they would.
“I…Um…” I stumbled over my words, trying to figure out the best way to handle this.
“Baby?” Kieran murmured as his thumb lightly traced the fingers of my hand.
I sighed.
“It’s a long story,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.
Adonis guy grumbled.
Cooper growled.
The doctor quirked an eye brow, but kept quiet.
I sighed again, realizing that I wasn’t going to be able to get out of this. Maybe it would be good to say it out loud. Give it less power over me or something.
Kieran squeezed my hand, his strength flowed into my body. His support had already started gluing pieces of my heart and soul back together. Little by little.
I took a deep breath, letting Kieran’s spicy scent coat my lungs.
“Are you going to tell them later?” I decided to ask. Better to be sure before I start this. He nodded, giving me the last bit of confidence I needed.
Nodding my head, I took another deep breath. Kieran’s scent infecting my nose and lungs, calming me in the midst of all the crazy.
My eyes filled with tears as I told my story to the men in the room. I tried my best not to give too much detail, they didn’t need to know the nitty gritty. But even without all of the details, they freaked out. Like, hard core.
As i
f something like this happening to me was unimaginable.
“What?” Kieran whispered, eyes glazed and lost in a world of his own.
Cooper gasped.
Adonis guy was pissed. He had his phone clenched in one hand, squeezing it so tight his knuckles had turned white. The other hand was still in his pocket as he walked out of the room and slammed the door.
“You’re not going back there,” Kieran growled loudly. His chest rumbled with rage, but I still opened my mouth, ready to tell him to go to hell when the doctor agreed with him.
I cursed. Motherfucker.
“Fine, I won’t go back,” I gritted out. I was pissed as hell that I was being told what to do. I mean, it’s not like I’m a child who needs rules anymore.
I’m a grown ass woman.
I huffed, giving up winning this one. Two against one is no fair.
The doctor proceeded to explain to me the extent of my injuries. The cuts on my skin would eventually scar, becoming a constant reminder of not only this night, but of Buzz himself, which is exactly what he wanted. Control over my thoughts. Control over my emotions. Reality hit me square in the face. If I can’t go back to my apartment, I have nowhere to go. No, what’s worse is that Aqua has nowhere to go.
Fuck.
I closed my eyes tightly and sharply nodded my head. I understood exactly what the doctor was telling me, I just didn’t like what the words meant. A snapping sound made me jump slightly in my seat. I peeked out of one eye, and noticed all of the surgical tools sitting on the table to my right. I squeezed my eyes together even tighter this time as a shiver flew through my body. Taking a deep breath, I let all of my anxiety flow out of me.
Fuck. I hate needles so goddamn much.
A cold liquid washed over my skin. Air hissed between my clenched teeth because whatever liquid just hit my skin burned like a bitch.
“Mother fucking shit,” I cursed loudly.
A voice washed over me, but I was in so much pain, I couldn’t actually hear the words it was saying, not that I cared right now anyways. I was focused on pushing the pain away.
“I’m just –I’m really– sorry.”
Of fucking course you’re sorry. Fuck me sideways.
“It’s fine,” I ground out, my teeth clenched together in pain.