by Rue Volley
“Oh…? What exactly does „oh" mean Theodore?”
He started to walk out of my room and I followed. “You need to expand on that…like right now.”
I followed him down the stairs and he still didn't say anything. He stepped into the kitchen and pulled out a pan.
“You have to be starving,” he said.
“Umm, actually no, not really… I…I don't care about food Theodore, tell me where Johnathan is.”
“He asked us not to tell you.”
“What?” I said, as I sat down at the kitchen table.
He turned around with that look on his face, the one where someone doesn't want to tell you something… Maybe he didn't think he would have to, but I had successfully retained my memory and now he had too.
“After you two came back through the mirror…Johnathan stayed… He sat by your side for quite some time and then one day, he came to me and asked to be removed from this. He wanted me to take his memory…to send him back to his family. I protested, I knew he was upset about you, he felt responsible… I guess he had come to realize that maybe you would be better off without him.”
“Without him…? I don't understand…are you saying that you did it for him Theodore?”
“No…no I did not, but he found someone who would… He went to Josh and he agreed to do it… So Josh stripped him of everything concerning us and you...
Especially you.”
“Oh my god…I have to go to him Theodore!”
“Well…that may prove to be a little hard to do.”
I felt my heart flutter. “Why?” I asked.
“He asked that Josh put a protection on him…one that would make it virtually impossible for us to track him down.”
I pushed myself up, all my strength started to return to me. “Well…we will see about that,” I said as I headed to the stairs. I bounded up the stairs and grabbed the first clothes I saw in my closet. I returned downstairs just as Josh entered the front door. I stood there staring at him, with hate in my eyes.
Josh looked at Theodore… “I thought you said that she would not remember,” he said calmly.
“Yes, well...we should not be surprised…it is Rue after all, Josh.”
He walked up to me and looked down. “You need to understand that he asked me…begged me Rue.”
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I stood there and I didn't even realize that I had slapped him across the face, before I felt the slight sting on my hand. He stood there and I watched the red start to form on his face. He bit his lip and blinked a few times.
“I would say that I don't believe it...but it is you Josh… In fact, I'm not even going to ask how you could do that for him… You know he was probably so upset… I don't even know what he experienced while he was there with me… I didn't see him until the end.”
“I know what happened,” Josh added. He stood his ground in front of me.
“Okay…well?” I put my hands on my hips.
“He spent the whole time with his family…and with you Rue… The happiest he had ever been.”
“Awesome…so you got to see that…? Did you „feel" it too?”
“Yes…I did, part of the deal when you strip memory....good or bad, you get to absorb it forever,” he said, without a change in his face.
“That is sooo like you…what…? Coming in when I'm taking a bath not enough for you…? How dare you take that from him, from me Josh…it doesn't belong to you.”
He ran his hand through his hair and cleared his throat. “Listen, I didn't offer…he wanted it Rue…! He said that he wanted you to have a life without him… He felt like he was the reason that you had been hurt over and over.”
“And that's when you say…"No Johnathan…it is not your fault, you are blaming yourself for things that you could not possibly control".”
“Huh…” he said.
“Oh my god…"Huh" is all you got?” I asked, with disgust in my voice.
“Seemed like a good idea at the time,” he grinned. Big mistake.
“You are the biggest ass…I swear to god… We will find him…and you will fix him… I'm not asking you…I'm telling you, Josh.”
Josh turned to Theodore. “Looks like a road trip,” he said.
I swear to god, sometimes Josh just lives to make everything a thousand times harder then it has to be.
Theodore stopped chopping up his vegetables. “I don't know how easy it is going to be to find him, under a protection spell Josh.”
Josh looked at me. “ We will find him…I think Rue will lead us right to him.”
He smiled at me and I pushed him aside.
“If we don't find him Josh…I will make your life a living hell, for the next hundred years.”
“Only a hundred...? Really?” He laughed out.
“You are lucky that I need you to reverse this or I'd knock you out and duct tape you to my bed.”
“Oh...really?” He said, with some sarcasm in his voice.
I spun around to him. “Don't even think about it,” I said as I pointed a finger at him.
“I don't know…it sounds like I might make out better, if I just refuse.”
Kai and Sam walked in the front door. I must have looked like I was about to stab him with a blade.
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“Holy shit Rue!” Kai yelled out. He flashed across the room and grabbed me up, in a huge bear hug. As he swung me around I could see that Sam had a concerned look on her face. She looked at Josh.
“She remembers everything…doesn't she?” Sam asked him.
Josh nodded, as he rubbed the back of his neck.
“Oh…that's great Josh…!” She headed towards me and placed a hand on my face. I looked into her eyes, really wanting to cry, but refusing to give in to it. She turned to Theodore. “Why did you let her wake this way?” she asked him, with force in her voice.
“I didn't „let her" do anything Samantha… It seems that Rue does what she wants, I have no power.”
She turned her head back to me. “You okay?” she whispered.
I nodded. “Just pissed Sam.”
She grinned and pushed my hair behind my ear. I closed my eyes for a second, remembering my mother"s touch. I quickly dismissed it.
“We need to figure out where he is first,” I said. “I'm assuming he wanted to be completely removed from the glamor here.”
Josh sat down, taking a bite out of a plum. “Yea…his whole family is removed from it…whole new thing… I told him to imagine it and I would make it happen.”
“Well then you should still have a memory of where he chose to go,” I said.
“No…I purged it...sorry.” He kept eating. I swear I could hear him chewing. I walked over to him and took the plum out of his hand and threw it into the trash.
“Hey...! I was eating that!”
I leaned down to him. “Oh…I'm sorry, when I went to sleep I had a boyfriend and now he is missing, with no memory of me… You can eat later.”
Josh grunted and Sam came over to him and sat down at the table across from him. She smiled. He crossed his arms. “What?” he said.
“It's nice to see you shut up for once,” she muttered.
“Listen, all I did was do what he wanted… Why am I the bad guy here?” he asked everyone, as he swept his hands out.
“I will remind everyone that I did say „No" to him.” Theodore had something bubbling on the stove, it smelled amazing, but I was trying my best to keep my focus on this “Josh Sucks” moment.
“I know you did Theodore.” I stared at Josh. “Thank you for not doing it for him.”
“Really…? Okay Rue, here…let me show you how he felt!” Josh stood up and held out his hand to me.
I stood up against Sam's protesting. We walked to the couch and we sat down across from each other. I held my hands out to him and closed my eyes… “I want you to give it all to me,” I whispered.
“You can't handle me,” he whispered back. I peeked with one eye and he had his eyes closed,
with a smirk on his face. “I want you to focus Josh…slow your breathing.”
“I know…I showed you Rue, just relax, I'll show you.”
“No, I don't think so Josh, you threw some away, I am going to take this from you… Just relax,” I said, calm in my voice.
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“I doubt that you...ahhh!” Josh yelled out, as I felt his memories start to flood my mind. I felt his hands heating up on mine.
“Geezus Rue...take it easy!” he grunted out.
Memories started flooding my mind, they were so jumbled… I squinted my eyes involuntarily. I kept searching for Johnathan…weeding out all the crap in Josh's head. Flashes of me started to well up and I was hoping that we were getting to the point, but no. I walked through Josh and I first meeting, his constant intrusion into my bedroom, when I fought him… I sucked in my breath, the feelings he had for me were overwhelming at this point. I had to push on, finally flashes of Johnathan started to filter into view. It was blurred and fuzzy, conversations broken. I tried to find him, tried to understand why he would go to such an extreme, and then I saw it. Josh and Johnathan in the forest, fully clothed, blades drawn. The wind was blowing the leaves around and from the look on Johnathan's face, he was tormented. The conversation started to become clear...
“I have asked Theodore, he has refused to do it… I need for you to make this happen Josh.”
Josh sighed. “You know this is final…”
Johnathan ran his hand through his hair. “I know, I can't do this anymore… I want for her to be safe, I want a normal life.”
Josh laughed. “You will never be normal…but I can make it seem that way.”
Johnathan laid his blades down on the ground. “Just get it done.”
Josh walked towards him, light started to glow in his palms. He knelt down and started to scratch symbols into the ground. He finished the circle.
Everything started to go frame by frame in my mind. The memories were not coming in any order. Small bits of conversation welled up and faded. I got a quick flash of a cherub and I bit my lip.
“Concentrate, Josh!” I yelled at him.
“Sorry…it was funny,” he muttered.
I searched, sifting through, suddenly I felt a heavy weight on my chest.
Johnathan's memory of his parents floated in. I could see Elie standing in their house, staring at me.
“You will go to Barrington, Johnathan, it is a hard school to get into. I had to pull some strings to make this happen for you, you should be grateful. How do you expect to succeed, when all you have now is a public school in a nowhere town?
Your father wants you to handle business for him in the future…our family's future… That does not include staying here for a little girl, with no background…
You need to grow up.”
I cringed. I knew she was talking about me, “no background”? Ha, she has no idea who I am, or what Johnathan is... I sucked in my breath. I could see myself leaning down to him, I came back up, with blood on my mouth. I could feel my heartbeat speeding up.
Josh groaned. “Stop...Rue, stop,” he said.
I wanted to, but I needed to break through to his memory of the day they stripped Johnathan of his memory of us…of me. My hands were sweating and I 257
started to feel nauseous. Suddenly, I could see them both clearly in the woods.
Josh stood up and looked down at Johnathan.
“Are you sure?” he asked Johnathan.
Johnathan kept his eyes toward the ground, he was on his knees.
“I don't love her… I thought I did…but it was a glamor.”
My heart stopped in my chest, I felt a black hole fill it. I let go of Josh and stood up, stumbling back from him. I tripped and fell on the floor. I tried to catch my breath, but everything was spinning in my head, his lips…the taste of his blood in my mouth, the words... “I love you” echoing in my head. Josh stood up and came to me, he knelt down and put his hand on my shoulder. I brushed his hand off of me and pushed myself up.
“I don't believe it,” I whispered.
“I'm sorry, you saw it yourself Rue,” Josh said gently.
The way he said it…like I was being consoled at a funeral, made my stomach turn. I put my hand over my mouth and ran out the front door. I barely made it off the front porch before I bent over and hurled in the grass. I purged everything I had in my stomach and I fell to my knees. I raised my hands to my face and a river of tears came. I sobbed…until I felt like I had nothing left. I was trying to catch my breath and I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and Sam was by my side. She put her hand on my face and I sobbed some more. She knelt down next to me and I grabbed her, burying my face in her shoulder. She had her arms around me, holding me close to her.
I pushed back and whispered, “How could he say that...? He said he didn't love me, that it was a glamor…that's all Sam… It can't be true, it just can't be.”
She touched my face and her hand felt cold against my skin, I must be burning up...I felt like it, in a fire of disbelief.
“Rue...Johnathan has a human heart, it is difficult for their kind to separate with what they know… Humans are very sentimental, they bond with their families…
We bond, but we are able to move on much easier… Perhaps it was all too much for him, after you both fell into the mirror.”
“He would never leave me, Sam,” I muttered.
She smiled at me. “You won't even consider that this is what he wanted to do, then?”
I looked at her and at my hands. “I know that he loves me, I know he does.”
She grabbed my hand. “Well, you are truly a protector Rue…we always think we know what is best for others.”
I had to think about that for a moment, then I shed the small pull of guilt of letting him make his own choices, maybe I should of respected it, but I could not.
I was sure that he lied to himself to allow his memory to be taken...right?
“We need to find him Sam... How long has he been gone?” I asked...a mission blazing in my mind.
“He left two months ago Rue... We have not heard from him since.”
“Good God...! I didn't know how long I had been out, Theodore did not say,” I said, shocked.
“Yes...over four months this time, but time is of no concern to us, we don't really count the days Rue... Eventually you will do the same.”
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I stood there wondering how I could lay still for so long. “Did Josh feed me this time?” I had to ask, I was hoping that he didn't.
“No…you refused, you said you hated him,” she said.
“Wow, okay…so what did I eat?”
“Nothing...nothing at all,” she said, as she looked at me strangely.
“Why are you looking at me like that...? I don't remember.”
“Huh,” she said.
“Well...I don't care how I went four months without food… I don't, we have to find Johnathan.”
Sam started to walk towards the porch, with me in tow. “Have you thought of what you will say when you find him?” she asked me.
“Oh...well, I will give him memory… He'll see that what he did was unnecessary and he will come back with us,” I said…hoping I was convincing not only to her, but to myself.
“Okay, well...lets eat and then we will go on a hunt... Your first real hunt Rue.”
I smiled, feeling all the grief just seeping away from me. I knew when I found him the real work would start, but for now, the thought of finding him was the most important step...after that, I would wing it.
Yep…wing it...oh crap.
******
We walked back into the house and Josh sat still on the couch… I could tell by the look on his face, that he had no idea what I was going to say. I looked at him and to Theodore and Kai.
“We are going to find Johnathan…then he's coming back with us,” I said, with a matter of fact tone.
Josh stood up and looked at Sam. “I thought you went out there
to make some sense to her, Sam?” he said, obviously irritated.
Sam put her arms up. “Really...? Okay, well...you tell her „no" Josh… Go ahead!”
Josh looked at me and I crossed my arms. He shook his head.
“Girls,” he muttered.
I ran upstairs and changed into my warrior gear. I stood in the mirror, looking at myself for a moment. I looked completely normal, my eyes looked like they had a fire lit in them. I held my hands at my sides and breathed in slowly. I could feel the core swirling deep in the earth. The tingle started in my feet and pulled all the way to my head. I opened my eyes and looked into the mirror. Blue swirled around me and I lifted my hands up, blue wrapped my skin like a mist. I moved my hands back and forth and watched the blue trail from it, but it never broke off, just laced the air like a tail behind a kite. I looked at myself one more time, and spoke out loud, “You do love me, and I will find you.” I wanted to believe that, I really did.
When I bounded down the stairs Josh stared at me. “So...you geared up I see.”
he said with little emotion in his voice.
I looked down at my outfit and back up to him. “Yea…thought maybe I needed it.”
“It's not really needed…not unless we run into trouble.”
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“Well...I feel like we already have trouble Josh… I don't know what is going to happen when I find him and give him his memory back.”
“You?” he asked.
“Yea, why not...,” I said, as I grabbed an apple from the kitchen and took a bite out of it.
He laughed…it annoyed me. “I don't think you will be able too, Rue…sorry, but it's complicated.”
“Really…? Well, you said you threw his memories away, and I found them so…”
Josh interrupted me. “Tell her Theodore, before she does something crazy.”
I looked at Theodore, who had been way to quiet. “What Theodore...? What is Josh saying?” I said as I sat down on the chair and took another bite from my apple.
Theodore looked at Josh and then to me. “Well...Josh may be right my dear.
Taking memories is a messy business, but giving them back is a dangerous proposition. If Johnathan did not want them, if he truly wanted to forget, then he will fight it and he could end up a bit on the crazy side.”