by Liz Isaacson
“Ready.” He beamed at her, took her hand, and led her out the basement exit. The sidewalk had been cleared, and it took a sloping path up to the driveway.
“You shoveled?” she asked.
“Doc says I can do anything that doesn’t cause pain.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m trying to do more than watch Food Network.”
She admired his strength. He seemed better than he had two weeks ago, but she also knew that sometimes looks were deceiving. That sometimes darkness crowded in when it was least expected. That sometimes it only took one wrong step to fall again.
“You learn how to make anything from those cooking shows?” she asked.
“Oh, yeah,” he said. “Been experimenting and stuff.”
She laughed, the sound free and full. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt that way—or the last time she’d expressed it in front of someone. “Maybe you can cook me dinner.”
He gained the top of the path, the ground leveling out. Sliding his arm around her shoulders, he drew her into his body. “I’d like that. When can you come?”
“Maybe tomorrow after church?” She watched him, trying to gauge his expression. The last time she’d invited him to church, he looked like she’d suggested he eat raw eggs followed by a shot of lemon juice. Then he’d scampered into his bedroom and closed the door with such finality, she wondered how long it had been since he’d gone to services.
“Church.” His voice held a far away quality, and he moved into the garage with a glazed look in his eyes. “That’s tomorrow, right?”
“Yes, it is Sunday tomorrow.” Norah added a flirtatious smile to her teasing words as she extracted the keys from her pocket and unlocked the car. Why she thought she needed to secure her decade-old sedan inside the garage of a cabin that sat in a gated community, she wasn’t sure.
Oh, but she was. She didn’t dare leave her car unlocked in her own garage. Her neighborhood didn’t have gates, or long driveways, or the luxury of peace of mind. Such thoughts came at such random times, that Norah had a hard time reconciling them with her feelings about Sterling. When she was with him, everything felt right, like he would protect her and provide for her and love her. The look in his eyes and the softness of his touch spoke of that kind of relationship with him, the promise of an amazing future with him.
“What time is church?”
“Ten.” She started the car and backed out of the garage. As soon as she pulled into the street, Sterling reached over and took her hand.
“You like going to church?” He asked in a genuine tone, a look of puzzlement on his strong brow.
“Yes,” Norah said. “I like it. It’s….” She exhaled, not quite sure how to sum up how she felt about attending church, about her relationship with God, in just a few words. She wasn’t used to sharing personal things with people—even her few friends were more like acquaintances. She chanced a glance at Sterling and decided that she could trust him with this part of her life.
“It’s an escape from Mama, number one.”
His fingers on hers tightened for the briefest of breaths.
“I feel peaceful there,” Norah added, her breath stuttering the tiniest bit as she inhaled. “Like things will work out and everything will be right in the end.”
He allowed several beats of silence to pass before he said, “What’s number two?”
Fear punctured her lungs, spread through her core. “I promised someone a long time ago that I’d make something of my life.” She glanced at him to see if he could detect the slight untruth in her words. He didn’t seem to, though his delicious, dark eyes drank her in. “Going to church helps me keep that promise.”
She re-focused on the road so she wouldn’t crash the car. Staring at him when he watched her with such intensity was definitely dangerous to her health.
“Who’d you promise?” he asked.
How he knew to ask the exact question she wished he wouldn’t, how he knew to order her favorite foods, made her skin prickle.
She didn’t want to tell him she’d made the promise to herself. That after she made it out of Silver Creek’s treatment program, she needed something in her life to keep it on the straight and narrow. Her counselor, a forty-year-old woman with the most sarcastic sense of humor, had asked her to think about her life. In that rare moment of soberness, with Kathy looking seemingly into Norah’s soul, Norah imagined what her life could be.
It had been eleven years, and Norah wasn’t yet where she wanted to be. But she was working on it. And part of that included attending church and serving her neighbors.
“A friend of mine named Kathy,” Norah said, so close to the edge of the truth it could’ve been the right answer. She hadn’t said the words out loud to Kathy, but it was because of her counselor that Norah had decided to make something of her life, that she’d started going to church after her release from Silver Creek.
She pulled into the parking lot behind the stables and shifted her weight toward him. “So do you want to go tomorrow? We can get groceries after this, go to church in the morning, and you can demonstrate your new-found culinary skills tomorrow afternoon at the cabin.”
The way he devoted his attention so fully to her made heat squirm through her veins, under her skin. She could practically see the wheels turning in his head. Finally, he said, “Sure, I can do that.”
A grin burst across her face. A giddy grin, one she tried to wipe away before he saw it. But see it, he did. And he matched it with one of his own. A charge bolted between them, and Norah reached for the door handle before their first kiss happened in her beat-up car.
No, that wasn’t where she’d first kiss Sterling. But she knew he wanted to kiss her, and the very thought made her lips tingle.
He straightened and strapped his leg brace on while she waited near the passenger door. “Here,” he said, holding something toward her. “Gas money.”
As quickly as her euphoria had flooded her, embarrassment chased it away. But she really couldn’t afford to drive up to the cabins everyday, even if the craving to see Sterling called to her as loud as an air raid siren, so she took the money and moved to shove it in her pocket.
The number on the bill stunted her movement, stunned her into a statue. Sterling limped several paces away before Norah could look away from the hundred-dollar bill. She hurried after him, anger slashing through her with the force of a Montana hailstorm.
She darted in front of him. “This is too much.” She pressed the money against his chest.
He looked at her fingers on his body and then lifted his eyes to hers. Desire, and danger, and determination danced in their dark depths. “It’s all I have.” He moved to step around her.
“All you have is a hundred dollar bill?” She twisted and walked beside him. “I don’t believe that. It’s too much.”
“Believe what you want. You’re coming to get me everyday for the foreseeable future. I told you I’d pay for gas.”
Norah shoved the money in her pocket and set her mouth in a tight line as he entered the stables and Owen greeted him. She couldn’t have this conversation in mixed company. Wouldn’t. So she glowered at the ease with which Sterling seemed to be able to do everything, despite his injury.
He brushed Blackjack, fed him, saddled him, and led him out to the walking circle. Norah followed along like a kicked puppy, the hundred-dollar bill burning a hole in her back pocket.
7
Sunday morning, Norah found Javier perched at the kitchen counter, a bowl of oatmeal in front of him.
“I have to go pick up a friend. Save me two seats?” She flattened Javier’s collar as he took a bite, his eyes trained on the sports highlight show. She still hadn’t shown him the picture she’d snapped with Sterling, and adrenaline shot through her.
“Javier?” she asked as she moved into the kitchen to make hot chocolate. “You’ll save me two seats, right?”
“Yeah, sure.” He didn’t look away from the TV.
“My friend is
Sterling Maughan.” Norah nonchalantly poured milk into a mug, noting the clang of silverware on their cheap formica. She opened the microwave and set her milk to heat for one minute before turning to face her brother.
“Sterling Maughan?” Javier’s eyes looked wild, rabid almost.
Norah pulled out her phone and flicked to the picture she’d taken two weeks ago. “Yeah, I clean his family’s cabin, and he was there, recovering after his injury.” She showed Javier the picture. He clutched the phone, staring at the screen like he didn’t believe the image to be real.
“He’s coming to church with you?” Javier handed the phone back.
“Yeah.” Norah turned when the microwave beeped and pulled her mug out. She added the hot chocolate mix and stirred. “We’re going back to the cabin for lunch. Think you can handle making spaghetti for everyone?”
Javier’s eyes narrowed. “Are you dating him or something?”
Norah choked and nearly spit out the mouthful of hot chocolate she’d taken. “No,” she sputtered. “No, we’re not….”
She couldn’t even say the word dating. She wouldn’t even think about that. So he’d held her hand a couple of times. Fine, every time they were alone together. He’d paid for dinner that one time, and he didn’t know it, but he’d just bought Norah’s family their groceries for the next week.
That didn’t mean they were dating.
Her brain rioted against her heart, and Norah couldn’t get anything involuntary to work. Her feet wouldn’t move, though it was time to leave. Her hand wouldn’t lift the hot chocolate to her mouth, though her thirst bordered on desperate.
Maybe you are dating Sterling Maughan, her brain said as it started to agree with the frantic pounding of her heart. That thought calmed her pulse, and she swung into motion. “Just save us two seats, okay?”
“Sterling Maughan is gonna sit by me at church,” Javier said, his voice clouded with wonder.
Norah left her hot chocolate sitting on the counter. She wouldn’t be able to drink it now anyway, not with the way her stomach tangoed with the possibility that she could be dating Sterling Maughan.
Church with Sterling felt like a science experiment, like everyone in Gold Valley had placed her and him under the microscope and couldn’t stop adjusting the dials to get a closer look. Norah had given herself plenty of time to get up to the cabin and back, which meant they arrived early to the service.
A mistake, but not her first.
Oh no, that had come when she’d arrived at the cabin and found Sterling sitting at the dining room table on the main level of the house, decked out in his finest Sunday clothes. Norah wasn’t sure what about a man in dark slacks, a white shirt, and a tie the color of rubies made her pulse pound, but seeing Sterling dressed up real nice certainly did the trick.
He stood—no leg brace—and smiled at her. He seemed genuinely happy to see her, and the squeeze in her fingers and the quick brush of his lips along her forehead spoke of that too.
She’d seriously underestimated what going to church with him would be like. Her thoughts had scattered upon seeing him, and she hadn’t found them all yet. And now, the gossips of Gold Valley had zeroed in on the two of them together.
“You weren’t lying.” Javier arrived, which usually relieved Norah. “I totally thought you were lying!” He slid onto the bench next to Sterling. “You’re Sterling Maughan. I just can’t believe it. I didn’t know you lived here.”
Sterling’s grip on Norah’s fingers increased, but she slipped hers away. She’d told her brother she wasn’t dating Sterling, and Javier hadn’t seen them holding hands yet. “Sterling, this is my brother, Javier. Remember I told you he was a big fan?”
Sterling’s jaw relaxed and he started talking to Javier like they were old friends. Their conversation allowed Norah to squeeze a few more inches between them, especially once Alex and Erik arrived, tumbling and talking, at their bench.
“Shh,” Norah admonished as she waved them closer to her. “Stay here by me.”
“I want to sit by Javvy,” Erik complained. “He brought candy.”
“Go around,” Norah said. “My friend has a hurt leg. You can’t climb over him.”
Erik scrambled down the bench and around the back. His presence on that end of the pew pushed Sterling closer to Norah. He didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he lifted his arm and rested it on the back of the bench behind her.
Javier definitely saw that, and Norah pressed her eyes closed, praying for a miracle. Praying that church would start already. Praying to know if she was indeed, dating Sterling Maughan.
“Good morning, brothers and sisters.” The pastor stood at the front of the chapel, the microphone loud enough to cover the dwindling whispers. Relief sagged Norah’s muscles—at least until Sterling’s leg pressed against hers. She tensed, but she couldn’t get any tighter than she already was. He sat ramrod straight, his fingers in fists, as the pastor spoke about seeing yourself the way the Lord sees you.
Norah had heard this particular sermon before, and she still struggled to do what the pastor advised. She couldn’t see herself the way God did. She didn’t see herself as loveable, or worthy of forgiveness, though she did feel loved by God, and forgiven for the things she’d done wrong.
She listened intently, hoping to hear something different this time she hadn’t last time—and to keep herself from obsessing over why the sermon seemed to bother Sterling so much.
Sitting in church, Sterling felt every bit as uncomfortable as he thought he would, like he’d been caught cheating on a crucial exam and everyone could see it. Everyone seemed to be looking at him, and the way Norah’s brother exclaimed his name, everyone in Gold Valley would know he was in town by nightfall.
He shouldn’t care. His family was well-known in Gold Valley, and he wasn’t here to hide. At least not anymore.
He forced himself to uncurl his fists, then he reached for Norah’s hand. She gave it to him a bit grudgingly, but he needed the anchor she provided. The pastor spoke of loving and forgiving yourself, the way God did.
At first, his words caused a sting of anger to prick Sterling’s mind. God didn’t love him. If He did, He certainly hadn’t shown it that day on the mountain.
But Sterling did believe that God forgave people. That truth sang softly to him, slowly easing the tension in Sterling’s body. When the closing hymn began, the nerves returned. Could he duck out now?
He glanced at Javier, and his plans to wait for Norah in the car vanished. He couldn’t get past the guy with his injured leg without causing a scene. So he sat rigid and still, hoping people would mind their own business until he could escape. He even found himself praying for such a miracle.
Song, and prayer, and church ended. Sterling hadn’t been to church in at least five years, and he’d survived his first time back. He took his first full breath in an hour and stood to test the weight on his leg. When it held, he followed Javier out of the chapel as fast as his limp would allow him, Norah’s hand still secured in his.
“See you at home,” Norah said to Javier. She released Sterling’s hand to bend down and give her other two brothers quick hugs. “You listen to Javvy. Don’t bother Mama.”
They nodded, their dark eyes solemn and serious.
“I’ll be back tonight.” She looked at Sterling, who took that as an invitation to leave the church. Outside, the wind howled as it brought in another storm. He ducked lower into his jacket to ward off the icy claws of the air as it tried to tickle his spine. He’d never been so thankful for a Montana storm in his life, but this one ensured no one would be stopping in the parking lot to chat. Everyone who’d exited before them bent into the wind, their collars high and their gloved hands gripping their coats closed.
Norah unlocked the car from ten feet away, and they spilled into the relative safety of the sedan. She started it and cranked the heat, though it would take a few minutes for the air to actually get warm.
“So you survived,” she said as she backe
d out.
“I actually thought that when the service ended.” He chuckled. “And it wasn’t that bad. That pastor actually said some good things.”
Norah cocked an eyebrow at him. “You think he said good things?”
“Yeah, didn’t you?”
“That’s actually a recycled sermon,” she said. “I’ve heard it before, and yes, it’s good. You just seemed….”
He waited for her to continue, interested in what she thought of him. In fact, he realized as she drove, that her opinion was the only one he cared about. Let the townspeople talk. Let them speculate why he was at the cabin, how long he’d stay, and what Norah meant to him.
He didn’t care.
He only cared what she thought.
“I seemed what?” he asked when she remained silent.
“Tense.”
Oh, he’d been tense all right. “I haven’t been to church in a long time, Norah.” His voice came out hushed, almost embarrassed, though he didn’t feel that way.
“First time for everything,” she said, either ignoring or not hearing the clumsily veiled emotion in his words.
“Is that why you bought jicama yesterday?”
She giggled, and the sound lit every nerve in his body. “It’s a great vegetable,” she said. “I emailed you that slaw recipe. Did you get it?” She glanced at him with an edge of concern in her expression he found adorable. No, sexy.
“I got it.”
“You should have the knife skills by now, considering how much television you watch.” She grinned at him, and his heart banged against his ribs. He reached for her hand, pleased when she let him take it easily this time. He brought her knuckles to his lips, wondering—not for the first time—what it would be like to kiss Norah Watson.