by Liz Isaacson
“Yeah, a couple of those. I guess there are a couple of models to choose from.”
“Those won’t be ready for months.” She finished her work and gripped the handles of the basket she needed to lug up two flights of stairs so she could finish getting the house ready.
“Fall, at least. Mom said I could stay here until then.” He zipped his bag. “They won’t be back in the country until the beginning of September anyway. I guess a couple of my brothers are using the house this summer, but I can find somewhere to crash while they’re here.”
He hooked her eyes with his. “Hey, on Monday after we look at the houses, maybe you’d like to show me your house.” He hooked his thumbs through her belt loops and pulled her closer. He smiled down on her, but Norah’s heart felt like a herd of wild horses thundering through the woods.
“My house?”
“Mm.” He leaned down and kissed her, slow and careful, amping into something more passionate and dangerous with every passing second. Normally, Norah would pull back when she felt this level of desire stemming from him, but now she matched the intensity and movement of his lips with her own. Desperation coursed through her, though the moment called for her to focus on Sterling.
As his heated hands met the bare skin of her lower back, Norah managed to break the kiss. He nuzzled her neck, never pushing too far, but his desire for her obvious in his touch, in the heaviness of his breath, in the pressure against her back.
“So?” he asked. “What do you think? Think you’re ready to take me home to meet your mom?”
She gazed into his dark eyes, so open and so trusting. She marveled at the strength in him, the beauty, the kindness.
“I love you,” she whispered, unable to tell him he could come to her wrong-side-of-the-tracks home and meet her clinically depressed mother.
A half-smile quirked his mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t quite catch that.”
But he had heard her, and she matched her smile to his. “Sterling—”
“I love you too, Norah.” He rendered her silent with those words and when they kissed, she allowed herself to focus entirely on the shape, the feel, the heat of him next to her.
Sterling existed inside a warm bubble he imagined to be sunny and yellow and beautiful. Because Norah had said she loved him. And he’d been able to say it back—and mean it.
He floated through security in Denver, his driver waiting at the top of the stairs as he came gliding up. He spent the night in his apartment, and passed the hours the next day boxing up everything he wanted the movers to bring to Montana.
The time he devoted to his phone seemed endless. First to set up the move, then to arrange for someone from Goodwill to come get donations, then to all the utility companies to turn off power and heat and cable television.
He signed papers, and ordered his favorite burger from his favorite Rocky Mountain café. He strolled the streets of downtown on Saturday night, and on Sunday morning, he drove into the mountains, back to the place where this new life had started.
He stayed in the car, though, unable to get out and face the cliffs that had altered his plans and put him on a different course.
“What do you wanna do, man?” the cabbie finally asked.
“Give me a few minutes, please.” Sterling climbed from the car and headed down the trail that led to the ski cabin and lift. Though the beginning of May, a few mounds of snow remained. Mostly the ground was a sloppy, muddy mess, and Sterling stuck to the paved walkway.
He paused when the cabin came into view, as the towers holding the chairlifts broke through the trees. His eyes drifted closed, and he took a deep, deep drag of mountain-scented air. He felt the icy kiss of the winter wind against his cheeks. He smelled the fresh pines and the wax on his snowboard. Saw the shape of the snow, felt the ridges of his board catch in softer places and shoot forward in more frozen spots.
Sterling loved snowboarding. He knew with every cell in his body he’d do it again—and well. Relief and satisfaction combined in his core. He’d told his Burton rep and his Nordick rep that he’d be back on the slopes next winter. Maybe not competition worthy, he’d warned them.
But he hadn’t known if what he’d said was true.
Here, now, in the shadow of the mountain that had swallowed him, he knew.
“Thank you, Lord,” he whispered. “Thank you for everything that’s happened after the fall.”
Sterling turned his back on the mountain that had wrecked his life—and then given him a completely new one.
His whispered words of gratitude followed him back to his apartment, where he worked to finish everything he needed to before his flight left that evening. He didn’t want to come back to Denver until next winter, when he was ready to show the world the new Sterling Maughan.
He hummed under his breath as he thought about Norah coming with him, standing beside him at all his press conferences, cheering for him from the stands as he did his run. In Sterling’s fantasy, Javier was there too, and Erik and Alex.
Norah’s mother remained a shadow in Sterling’s mind, someone he couldn’t quite picture but couldn’t ignore either.
His phone rang, forcing his fantasy into the recesses of his mind. “Hey, Rex.” Sterling collapsed on the couch as his stomach roared. He’d worked through lunch.
“Hey.”
Sterling didn’t like the edge in his brother’s voice, though he’d only spoken one word. The fact that he didn’t continue meant Sterling wouldn’t like the conversation.
“What’s goin’ on?” he asked, his heart doing a little tap dance in his chest.
“It’s about Norah, Sterling.”
15
Sterling’s ears turned deaf after Rex said the words, “She was a patient at Silver Creek, Sterling.”
He’d stood up for Norah until then. Now he sat on the line, unlistening, as his brother continued to detail Norah’s secrets.
Not lies. Sterling knew she’d never lied. She just hadn’t given him the truth.
“I have to go,” he blurted when Rex finally paused to take a breath. He didn’t wait for his brother to confirm; Sterling simply hung up.
We looked it up, Sterling.
Unless you pay to have your name sealed, it’s a public record.
She was there eleven years ago, Sterling.
Honestly, how well do you know her?
She was addicted to hydrocodone, Sterling.
Sterling groaned, bent forward, and put his palms over his ears in an attempt to get Rex’s accusations to silence. Sterling hadn’t been able to say much during the call. A few “That’s not true, Rex,” and one “She would’ve told me,” and “She’s not like that,” and the worst fuel he could’ve given Rex: “I love her.”
Things and feelings that had gone dormant now surfaced. How dare Rex and his wife, Emily, “look into” Norah’s past? What gave him that right? The anger directed at his brother quickly got redirected at Sterling.
Why hadn’t he pressed her further about her family? About her past? About why she loved Silver Creek so much?
At the same time, why did it matter? Would he want someone judging him by who and what he’d done eleven years ago?
He shook his head, his emotions tangled and jumbled and knotted. He didn’t even want Norah to know how ungodly he’d been six short months ago—but at least he’d been honest. He’d told her he’d stopped going to church, that he wasn’t sure God had been there for him, all of it.
Because he trusted her.
He sat back as if someone had punched him. He trusted and loved her.
She claimed to love him, but she certainly didn’t trust him. Not with the good, the bad, and the ugly of her life.
A sharp pain started in his chest, and he found it difficult to take a breath. He’d felt this way after he’d woken in the hospital too. Trapped. No way out. Alone. Hurt.
Phantom pain cascaded down his injured leg, and the muscles spasmed and jerked. He had to get up, get out, go.
&nb
sp; Now, at least, he could. In the hospital, his leg had been attached to an apparatus in the ceiling. Here, he leapt from the couch and strode toward the door, his limp pronounced and sending pain through his whole body with every step.
He didn’t care. He needed to get out into the open, free from the walls that echoed his brother’s words back to him again and again.
Norah’s somber mood matched Javier’s as they sat through their second week of church without Sterling at their side. His absence seemed heavier this week, almost like a physical presence she couldn’t shake.
With ten minutes left in the service, she got up to leave. “Meet you in the car,” she whispered to Javier. “Bring the littles out when it’s over.”
He looked like he wanted to go with her right then, but she shook her head. She needed some time alone—though she’d had plenty of that this weekend. She’d breezed through her other cabins in the mountains, and sat outside Six Sons, wishing she could go in and find her peace in the bunk bed room.
But half a dozen cars had littered the driveway; Nancy’s important client had obviously brought friends. Norah would go up on Tuesday evening to clean up after them, just to give them an extra day if they decided not to leave this afternoon, as scheduled.
Norah’s heels clicked on the wood floor of the lobby as she escaped the church. A set of footsteps and Dr. Richards saying, “Norah, wait,” made her pause before exiting the building.
She took a deep breath to stuff the threatening tears back where they belonged: out of sight.
“Doctor Richards?” She turned toward him, unsure as to when she’d spoken to him so much outside of work.
“Are you heading out?” he asked, his wise eyes searching hers. “I need to speak with you, privately.”
Her nerves pulsed out a jolt of fear, and Norah almost bolted. “I was just going to wait in the car for my brothers.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Not enjoying the sermon?”
Norah rubbed the back of her neck. “Having a hard time concentrating today.”
Dr. Richards opened the church door and gestured for her to go in front of him. “I’ll make this quick.” He walked next to her as they circled the church. The weather was cooperating, for now.
“Norah, I’m concerned about your relationship with Sterling Maughan.”
Norah’s feet froze along with her internal organs. She tired to say something, but nothing made it past her iced lungs.
“I saw you two at the grocery store last night. Shopping. One cart. You obviously followed him up the mountain to his house.” He held up his hands. “I’m not saying anything inappropriate is going on, but well, I’ve got eyes. I know you like him.”
“I love him.” Norah’s vocal chords thawed with the words. “I’m sorry, Doctor Richards. I know there’s a policy at Silver Creek and all, but we’d started dating before he started working there, and I kept telling him we needed to talk to you, that you’re reasonable, but he doesn’t think the policy means anything. He’s never really thought he’d lose his job over it.”
Her words rushed and tripped and fought against each other. “I can’t lose my job,” Norah blurted. But she couldn’t lose Sterling either. She bit down on those words.
“And I know you need Sterling.” She waited, hoping and praying with everything she had that Dr. Richards wouldn’t fire her. Not here. Not at church. Not when she was trying to do the right thing by being at church when she really wanted to nap.
“I do need Sterling.” Dr. Richards sighed and looked up to the mountains where Sterling lived, as if he could see him there. “And I need you, too.”
Norah didn’t dare hope, didn’t dare to speak.
“I suppose a policy can be changed,” he said.
“Sterling will probably quit in the fall anyway,” Norah said. For some reason she couldn’t name, her voice trembled. “He’s re-joining the snowboarding circuit next winter. He’ll need to start training.”
Dr. Richards studied her. “Maybe you two can keep your relationship under wraps until then? Do you think anyone else knows about you two?”
Norah shrugged, more and more tremors wracking her body. She couldn’t understand her reaction—she should be happy Dr. Richards hadn’t fired her on the spot.
“I doubt it,” Norah said. “I haven’t told anyone, and I don’t think Sterling has either.”
“Maybe we just keep it a secret for now.”
“A secret?” Norah smiled at him. “I didn’t think those were allowed at Silver Creek either.”
“Well, I am the boss.” Dr. Richards flashed a rare smile that lasted less than two seconds. “So it’s not really a secret if I know about it, is it?”
“If you say so.” Norah grinned at him and managed to make it to her car just as the first patrons exited the church.
Feeling like she wanted to cry, but unsure as to why, Norah dropped her brothers off at home and drove around Gold Valley. The urge to turn and head up the mountain grew to unavoidable levels.
Still, Norah kept the car in the valley. She drove past the elementary school where she’d attended for six years. She admired the stillness of Main Street in the late afternoon: the bank, the chocolate shop, the movie theater, the pharmacy, and the dog spa all lined up. Across from them sat the cupcake eatery, the dry cleaners, the salon, and the best pizza joint Norah had ever eaten at. She hadn’t been surprised to see Luigi’s boxes when she’d first discovered Sterling in the basement.
She maneuvered through the town in a circular radius, noting where the post office was, and her favored childhood park. She entered the new development—or what would be the new development—where she and Sterling would look at the two available models the next evening.
Now, a few early homes existed, as well as cement curbs and leveled dirt for roads. The model home shone as dusk fell, and finally Norah gave in to her desire to go to the cabin.
When she arrived, the driveway and garage sat empty, so she pulled in like she normally did. She entertained the idea of grabbing her bucket of cleaning supplies from the shelf in the garage as she entered. In the end, she left them where they were, not wanting to do today what wasn’t expected of her until Tuesday.
She entered the sleeping house, and became instantly aware of the activities that had taken place over the weekend. Pizza boxes and takeout containers sat stacked in the too-small trashcan. Soda cans and water bottles littered the counter. Blankets lay in heaps in the living room, and blinds had been left open for all to see.
Norah didn’t care. She’d bill Nancy for the extra hours it took to haul out trash and re-organize everything. And Nancy would pay. She always had; never questioned.
With every step up to the bunk bed room, Norah’s spirits lifted. She didn’t dare cross over to the master bedroom—it wasn’t her goal anyway. She entered the room and sat on her bunk bed to watch the sky swallow the sun.
As the radiant beams of light turned from gold to crimson to blue, Norah thought about Sterling. With a start, she realized he should’ve called already. Called to say he was boarding and would be home soon. Called to find out if he could come home to the cabin or if he needed to find somewhere to crash that night.
He’d wanted it to be at her house.
She’d distracted him with a declaration of her love. Even if it was true, she shouldn’t have used her affection to deter him from coming to her house. Sharp guilt pulled against her stomach, tore holes through her conscience.
Why had she done that?
She tipped her head back, and asked God. “Why do I do that?”
He didn’t answer, at least not in verbal words Norah heard in her ears. But she felt something prick her mind, touch her heart.
She needed to trust Sterling.
“How?” she begged the Lord. But no feeling came, and Norah clutched her knees to her chest as she searched her brain for an answer she didn’t have.
Norah waited at the cabin until the edge of night. She rationalized that
Sterling had simply forgotten to call. She’d looked up his flight, and it was on-time, due to arrive in Missoula in twenty minutes.
“What are you doing here?”
Norah swung her attention from the dark horizon outside the window to the woman standing in the doorway of the bunk bed room. She stalked a step closer, her expression dangerous. “You shouldn’t be here.”
Adrenaline urged Norah to stay, hold her ground. “I was just waiting for Sterling.”
“He doesn’t want to see you anymore.” The woman cocked her hip and placed a perfectly manicured hand on it. She screamed money, from the color of her bottle-blonde hair to the gold sandals she wore.
Norah blinked at her. “I’m sorry, ma’am. But who are you?”
“I’m Emily Maughan.”
Emily, Emily. Norah racked her brain to figure out which one of the brothers had married an Emily. She couldn’t come up with an answer before the woman added, “Rex’s wife.”
Not wanting a repeat of the emotional turmoil she’d endured when Rex had said “the help,” Norah scooted to the edge of the bed and stood. “I’m sorry. I’ll go.”
“That’s right you will. And you won’t come back.”
Norah paused next to her. Though the woman stood only an inch or two shorter than Norah, Norah felt as small as an ant. Smaller even, from the glare Emily gave her. “I’ll be back on Tuesday to clean up.”
Emily sniffed. “That won’t be necessary. I’m sending a cleaning lady.”
“But I’m—”
“Fired,” Emily said. “I’ve already spoken to Nancy about your…inappropriate advances toward Sterling. She authorized me to fire you.”
A cold hand reached into Norah’s chest, wrapped its icy fingers around her heart, and squeezed. Squeezed tight.
“Sterling is staying in Denver,” Emily continued, as if she had no idea how her words had strangled Norah. “We told him everything about you, Norah Watson.” Her eyes burned with repressed anger as she sneered out Norah’s name. “You should’ve told him everything. He’s devastated. Claims to love you and everything.”