by Liz Isaacson
“I know so.”
Her phone rang, effectively silencing her protest. “It’s Sterling.”
“Tell him hi for me.” Javier grinned at her. “I can’t believe you’re dating the Sterling Maughan.”
She returned his smile. “Don’t let him hear you call him that. He doesn’t like it.”
“He doesn’t?” The panic in her brother’s voice was almost comical.
Norah stood and strode away from him as she answered. “Hey.”
“Hey, beautiful.” He wore his emotion in his voice.
“You sound happy.”
“I am.”
“Oh, yeah? Good news on the flight home?”
“Not really.”
She imagined him leaning against the doorframe, phone held casually to his ear as he tried to pretend like he didn’t have a care in the world.
“You free for a few minutes?”
She spun toward the front of the house, but darkness bathed the window. “Ye-es.” She drew out the word as she tried to tame her pulse. Was he here? Now?
“I’m standing out front. Want to show you something.”
Norah took the deepest breath she could manage with lungs that felt encased in quicksand. “You could come in, if you wanted.” She added a shrug to her statement, though he surely couldn’t see through the grimy window. “Javier would like to say hello, I’m sure.”
Sure enough, behind her, Javier said, “Is that Sterling? Is he here?”
“He’s out front,” she said to him. “Come on in,” she told Sterling, while she tried to tell herself that the idea wasn’t completely ridiculous.
She hung up as her brother leapt from the couch and opened the front door they barely used. It squealed on its hinges, and Norah cringed. What if Mama heard it and started yelling at them to keep it down?
But neither Erik nor Alex even moved, and they lay only a few feet from the door. Sterling’s impressive height and shoulders filled the doorway, causing Norah’s breath to catch in her chest. She wondered if he’d always affect her in such a way, and as she smiled at him from behind Javier’s back, she hoped so.
“Hey,” he said to Javier as he squeezed past him and into the house. “You guys got anything to drink? I drove straight here from the airport, and I’m parched.”
“Sure.” Javier went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Norah stood marveling at Sterling, who didn’t assess the peeling wallpaper, the carpet in desperate need of a cleaner, the somewhat stale scent Norah knew hung in the air.
He stepped up to her, drew her into an embrace, and kissed her forehead. Then he moved away and sat on their threadbare couch just as Javier handed him the water bottle. “Thanks, man.” He beamed up at her brother like he’d just presented him with a briefcase containing a million dollars.
All of Norah’s fears evaporated, right there in her brightly lit living room, with its mismatched lamps and crooked picture frames and a pair of dirty boys sleeping on the floor. Her heart swelled with love for the man who didn’t judge her based on her square footage.
“Thank you,” she whispered as she sank onto the sofa next to him.
“Love you.” He slid his arm over her shoulders and pulled her into his side, his adoration and attention on her now. For the first time in her life, Norah felt worthy of such affections.
Sterling ignored the buzzing in his pocket, knowing it would be his mother. He’d called her while he waited for his flight in Denver, but the time difference had proven difficult for getting in touch with her. How Norah had managed it, he wasn’t sure. Maybe it had been an act of God. A true miracle.
Now, though, sitting on Norah’s couch while she dozed against his chest, he wasn’t going to answer. He’d call her on the way up the mountain, because he was sure he wouldn’t like what she had to say.
Still, Norah was being brave about him meeting her mom, and Sterling owed it to her to talk to his parents. He should probably send an email to his nosy brothers too. Rex had already gotten an earful—Sterling had called him as soon as Norah had boarded her plane.
With lots of apologies and reassurances that he and Emily would mind their own business, Sterling had then set his sights on his parents.
“I should go.” He fought against a yawn and lost. “I have to work in the morning.”
“Mm.” Norah snugged deeper against him, and he wanted this reality to become permanent. He wondered what a full life with her would hold, and a smile formed on his face.
“Come on, sleepyhead. You need to get to bed too.” She’d napped in his apartment that morning, but she’d been up all night, and a couple of hours on his couch wouldn’t cut it. “Javier’s already got the other boys down the hall.”
She sat up and covered her eyes with her hand. “All right. I’ll walk you out.” She stood and stretched, the hem of her T-shirt lifting slightly above her waistband. Her delicious, dark skin called to him, and he swallowed.
After moving around the couch, she flipped a light switch and turned toward him. “See you tomorrow.” She pressed her palms against his chest and leaned into him for a kiss. He obliged, a rush of electricity sparking through his chest.
He ducked out the doorway, aware of Norah’s eyes on his back as he crossed the lawn to his truck. His boots bore the remnants of winter, and he cranked the heater once he’d started the engine. He drove away, his mind simultaneously whirring and withering from exhaustion.
Tapping his screen, he dialed his mother. She answered on the second ring. “Mom.”
“Sterling.”
She wouldn’t start the necessary conversation. She never did. “So I heard my girlfriend called you.”
“Nice to know you have a girlfriend.”
Sterling chuckled. “We hadn’t exactly talked about labels yet, Mom. It’s no big deal.”
“The girl flew to Denver to see you.”
Out of desperation, Sterling thought, the familiar taste of bitterness on the back of his tongue. He swallowed. No, she hadn’t told him everything, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t planning to. His meddling brother had just beat her to it.
“Thanks for giving her the code to get in the building.” He turned and went across the railroad tracks, his headlights cutting swathes of light through the dark neighborhood. “My apartment sold really quickly. I need something here.”
“You’ll find something. So you think you like Norah?” Her voice strayed into the you-don’t-have-to-tell-me-but-you-really-do range.
Sterling took his time answering. He did like Norah. Her house had been about what he’d expected, but only because he’d spent ten minutes in the parking garage at the airport on Google Maps, looking at it. If he hadn’t done that, he might have been more shocked. He wasn’t sure. And he didn’t know how to feel about it. Should he be upset at himself for being shallow? Should he beat himself up for having somewhere nice to live?
“Sterling?”
“Yeah, Mom. I like Norah.” He wanted to tell his mother that he’d actually fallen in love with Norah, but he bit the words back.
“How much do you like Norah?”
“Mom.” He sighed and eased the truck onto the main road that would lead him past Silver Creek and up the mountain.
“What? I’m just trying to figure out if there will be a wedding soon.”
Sterling laughed. Tossed his head back and guffawed. “No, Mom. But one day.”
The lengthy pause on the other end of the line told him she hadn’t been expecting that.
“Really? You’re going to marry her?”
“As soon as she’s ready.” Sterling saw a light on in the cabin where his boys lived, and his heart jumped over one of its beats. Who was up? What did they need?
He forced the worries away when his mother said, “Well, I don’t know how I feel about that.”
“Doesn’t matter how you feel about it,” Sterling said, a hint of ice in his tone. “I love her, and we’re gonna get married one day.”
> Deal with it, he added silently.
“She’s a nice woman, Mom. Goes to church every week. Takes care of her brothers and her mom. Works two jobs, and goes to school at night.” He couldn’t see why his mother wouldn’t approve of her. Maybe what Rex had said had been wrong.
“I know all about Norah Watson.” The volume on the line halved. Or had she just spoken quieter?
“I know you do, Mom. She’s worked for you for years, so you know how reliable, honest, and godly she is.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Tell Rex, would you?” Sterling asked as he maneuvered around the curves of the mountain. “I have to go, all right? I’ll call you later.”
She said her good-byes, and Sterling hung up. By the time he got to the cabin, exhaustion was winning over everything else. He towed his luggage inside, made it down the spiral staircase without dying, and collapsed in bed.
18
“He’ll be here in about five minutes, Mama.” Norah couldn’t sit. She paced from the living room to the kitchen and back, about five steps. She’d told Mama about Sterling last night, after he’d left. Again this morning. For a third time when she got home from work.
She’d been scrubbing surfaces for the past two hours, though Sterling had already been inside the house. Javier came down the hall, spraying continuously with the air freshener. “Bathroom’s done.”
Norah flashed him a grateful look, but couldn’t seem to articulate anything. Please let her be nice, she prayed. Just this once, let her be nice.
Norah had never brought anyone home to meet Mama. Everyone in town knew it. She didn’t even know how things like this normally went.
The timer in the kitchen went off, and Norah jumped from the shrill beep. She spun and hurried back the way she’d come, snatching the oven mitts from the counter where she’d left them. She pulled out the once-frozen lasagna and put in the waiting garlic bread.
A knock sounded on the door.
She froze.
Her heart raced.
Mama swung her head in Norah’s direction. At least she’d showered that day. And Norah had insisted she get dressed. Thankfully, Mama had complied.
Norah wondered what the price would be.
Javier opened the door, moving time forward again and unfreezing Norah’s feet. “Hey, man.” He grabbed Sterling’s hand and they patted each other on the back. “Come on in.”
Norah made it to the spot where the carpet met the linoleum, her fingers twining and untwining. “Hey,” she said.
“Hey yourself.” He strode toward her and embraced her. “You look great. Don’t worry so much.” His whispered words in her ear brought her little comfort.
He stepped back and turned toward Mama. “Mama, this is Sterling Maughan.”
Recognition lit her mother’s face. She released the dark ends of her hair, which she’d been playing with. “Sterling Maughan. Nice to meet you.”
Every muscle in Norah’s body sighed in relief. Mama was going to be nice.
“Come sit over here,” she said, gesturing to the couch.
Sterling laced his fingers through hers and brought Norah with him. “Nice to meet you too, ma’am.” His cowboy accent slipped out, and Norah grinned.
“Tell me all about that Amber Lyons. She sure was a pretty thing. Saw her on the TV a time or two.”
Norah couldn’t suppress the groan fast enough, and it slipped between her lips. Thankfully, Javier called, “Bread’s done. Let’s eat,” before Sterling could bolt.
A week later, she stood against the fence separating her from a large yard, watching him ride a much bigger horse. Owen’s new one, Pompeii. Sterling was doing just fine, like he did with most things. They’d gone to look at floor plans in the new development on the north edge of town, and he’d chosen one. He wouldn’t tell her if he’d bought the two-story model or the more Montanan rancher-style. He said it would be a “surprise.”
She was just glad he thought she’d still be around come winter.
Stop it, she told herself. Sterling showered love and adoration on her. On Saturday, she’d entered the cabin to find two dozen red roses waiting for her on the main level kitchen counter. Sunday after church, he’d taken her brothers to the movies so she could sleep.
And still, she doubted he could keep up this behavior for much longer. That he even wanted to. For her.
Not for her.
Maybe for someone like Amber.
Familiar melancholy descended on her, and when she caught Sterling’s eye, she indicated she’d see him later. He waved, and she left. With dinner on the table and Mama tucked safely in her bedroom, Norah finished her homework while she waited for Sterling to show up. Since he’d met Mama, he’d been coming to her house after work. It worked better for her to feed her brothers and complete classwork. He kept longer hours than her, but he never complained about sitting on her couch until late at night, the thirty-minute drive up the mountain, or the early hours at Silver Creek.
On the phone with my mother. Might be late.
Sterling’s text made Norah’s blood cool. He hadn’t said anything about his mother since Denver, and though Norah had emailed and texted a thank you to Nancy for the building codes, she hadn’t gotten a response either.
How are you texting while talking to your mother? While she considered him capable of all things, even he couldn’t text and talk at the same time.
She’s talking, he sent. I’m supposed to be listening.
What is she saying?
Something about not starting snowboarding too soon.
I agree with her.
Sterling didn’t text after that, and he didn’t show up until almost nine o’clock. By then, Norah’s eyelids felt like someone had tied bricks to them.
“Sorry,” he said as he entered the kitchen from the garage. “Everyone’s in bed?”
“Finals for Javier tomorrow,” she said. “Field day for the others. I sent them to bed early.”
He slid his hands along her waist, bringing her flush against him. “Missed you today.”
“Did you?” Why couldn’t she believe him when he said such sweet things?
He stepped back, obviously having heard something in her tone she hadn’t been able to mask. “Norah.”
She didn’t like it when he said her name like that. The vein of frustration along the edges made the snakes in her stomach riot.
“You hungry or did you stop somewhere?”
“Not hungry.”
She turned toward the kitchen anyway. Sterling would eat if she got the food out. She pulled the broccoli salad out of the fridge and reached for the package of hot dogs.
“Why do you do that?” he asked.
“Do what?” She stuck a couple of hot dogs in the microwave.
“When are you going to start to believe that I care about you?”
“I know you care about me.” With nothing left to do, she faced him.
“You know.” He gazed right at her, those dark eyes probing for the truth. If she didn’t look away, he’d find it. “But you don’t believe it.”
She sighed. “That’s not true—”
“It is true.” He glanced away, down the hall as if checking to see if Javier loitered there. He often did, wanting to say hello to his idol. “I’m tired, Norah. I’m gonna head home.”
“Tired?”
“Yeah.” He ignored the food she’d gotten out and fished his keys out of his jeans pocket. “Tired of trying to prove to you that I love you. It’s so exhausting.”
She wasn’t sure how to respond. Her mind spun with what he’d said, rearranging the words into more damaging patterns.
“Here’s the deal. I love you, but at some point I’m going to disappoint you. I’m not going to do enough, or maybe I’ve done too much. Set the bar too high. I don’t know.” He smashed his cowboy hat back on his head, effectively concealing his eyes. “What I do know is you need to make a decision. Either figure out how to believe I want to be with you, or break up
with me.”
“Break up—” The idea horrified Norah, but his statement punched her right where her pulse pounded. “I don’t want to break up.”
“Good.” Sterling swept his lips across her cheek, lingering near her ear lobe. “But you really do need to figure out how to believe me.”
Her bones felt like tofu. “I’m trying.”
He didn’t say anything, only removed his hands from her body and slipped out the door. He hadn’t said it, but Norah had heard, Try harder.
Sterling woke to his alarm at five a.m. and stayed in bed for a few extra minutes. Then he heaved himself from the warmth of his blankets and headed into the game room, where he’d set up free weights. His new morning routine: Getting back in shape.
He couldn’t run, but he could lift. His leg ached after a morning weight training session, and horseback riding didn’t help. But Sterling took painkillers and worked through the discomfort. Determination drove him. Determination to be on the slopes come winter, and that meant his leg needed to be strong.
A couple of weeks had passed, and while Norah still let him kiss her, he didn’t go to her house every night after work like he’d been doing. He probably shouldn’t have given her an ultimatum, but trying to think of ways to prove his love to her had kept him awake at night. He didn’t think being in love should be so hard.
Now, snowboarding filled his dreams at night, almost taunting him since it was almost Independence Day, and though the highest peaks in Montana still boasted some snow, it wasn’t nearly enough to board with.
After work, he usually drove to the rec center to swim—his preferred method of working out in the summer. Low resistance and relief from the heat helped. He hadn’t told Norah, but he’d ordered a swimming pool for his backyard. He wasn’t going to tell anyone, actually. Normal people in Montana didn’t install pools in their backyards. The idea was pretty ridiculous.
He sighed as he hung his cowboy hat in his locker, followed by his boots and jeans. Gliding through the cool water brought him more than just a few hundred calories burned. The relief from the sun and wind of the Montana stables would’ve been enough to lure Sterling to the pool every afternoon.