Draven gets out of his chair and sits down on the bed in front of me, my hands in his. “Listen to me, I know they scared and hurt you, and if I could bring them back from the dead and kill them all over again, I would. I want you to know that no one will ever take this baby from you, Marnie.” He lays his hand protectively on my stomach.
“How do I know that you won't?” It's not like I haven't heard about how Mafia Don's take their firstborn sons from the mother so the elders can raise them. How am I to know if my child is a boy I'd be able to keep him? It's not like I could go against Draven, he'd kill me. Not that I would give my child up willingly, but people like Draven are not people you take lightly.
“Marnie, I know it's going to be hard for you to trust me for a while, and maybe you want to get as far away from me as possible, but I promise on everything I love that I will not take this child from you. My father tried to take me from my mother the moment I was born. She never hid from me the pain that caused her. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.”
I stare at Draven, my mind wondering how his mother coped with almost losing her child to the Mafia. I also wonder how she persuaded them not to take him. She must have been a very strong and determined woman.
When I look in Draven's eyes, I see the truth; he won't take my baby from me. I feel in my heart that he won't let anyone hurt me again. He will do everything in his power to protect me. I'm not saying I love the man, I hardly know him, and I know that he doesn't love me, but I'm hoping I mean more to him than just the woman carrying his child.
“Would you like me to call you sister?” I shake my head. I don't want Brooke or anyone else knowing about what happened. I don't want to hear, ‘I told you so.’
I don't know how I really feel at the moment. I have a lot of them rushing through me, anger being one of them. However, I don't want to give into it. I don't want to tell Draven that I want to walk away because I know I'll regret it in the end.
We have so much to talk about, but I am so tired.
“Marnie, I'll understand if you want to leave, and I won't stand in your way. I will always look out for you, and I will always be in my child's life, I won't be the Dad who never sees his child.”
I don't know why that makes me smile, but it does. We both want the same thing for our baby, two parents who will always put him or her above everyone and everything else.
I squeeze Draven's hand. “I would never stop you seeing our baby, Draven. I'm not going to lie to you, I'm still angry about what happened, but you dealt with those men. I'm still scared, and I think I will be in some way for a little while, but I will get over it.”
I will because I'm stronger than this. Either I succumb to constant fear, always looking over my shoulder for the next person to attack me, or I can put this behind me. I won't let my guard down so easily with Draven's men, but I can make myself stronger in their presence. I can't let fear take over my life, because if I do, I'll be no use to this baby at all. I cannot fail as a mother. I won't let my child down, not when I've been enough of a failure in the past.
Moving forward with Draven, I know he can be the father mine never was. I don't believe he meant for anything to happen to me, although I do believe he should have warned me that the council wanted to test me.
“Being my wife won't be easy, Marnie. There will be times when you feel suffocated, but I need you to know that I will never physically hurt you.”
“I know that. All my life, I have been controlled by one man or another. I never had a chance to use my voice when it came to Paul and my father. I know you have your reasons for doing the things you do, for expecting me to behave a certain way,” The Don's wife cannot be seen to cause disrespect or shame to the Don. I've heard terrible things about what happens to wives who do either thing. “I have no problem with respect, Draven. I will show you respect every day, and I know you'll give me the same grace. I like to think we're friends.”
“Of course, we are. You're the most loyal woman I've ever known, Marnie. Thank you.” Draven smiles.
“You don't need to thank me.”
“I'm so sorry for what they did to you.”
“Stop apologizing.” I smile at him. He doesn't need to keep saying he's sorry, nor does he need to keep thanking me for my loyalty. “Draven?”
“Yeah?” He runs his thumb over my hand, and it's soothing to the point it's making me sleepy.
I smile and force my eyes open. “I care about you.” I see the smile creeping across his face through my tired eyes. “I'm going to...stay with you...” My eyes close, and I can't open them again. “Don't let...anyone...”
“I won't,” He cuts me off because he knew exactly what I wanted to say. I sigh sleepily as Draven kisses my lips softly. “I care about you too, beautiful.”
* * *
Ugh! This tastes awful.” Draven chuckles, and I playfully narrow my eyes at him while smiling. This soup really is awful though.
After falling asleep last night, I slept without disturbance. Weirdly, I didn't have nightmares. Don't get me wrong, I dreamt about the men who hurt me, but in my dreams, I saw Draven killing those men. In my dream, I stood to the side and watched my future husband as he committed murder, and my heart pounded in my chest. Watching Draven at work, beating, stomping, cutting, killing, something inside of me was thrilled, and a little turned on.
When I woke up and saw that Draven was still with me, I couldn't help the smile creeping across my face. I lay there watching him sleep; he looked so handsome, and I couldn't help biting my lower lip. Does it make me some kind of freak to be feeling the way I am about Draven after everything that happened?
Maybe I have a screw loose. Most women in my situation would have taken the out offered to them and never looked back. Me? I took Draven's hand in mine and kissed his knuckles. I then stroked my cheek against the back of his hand, and I laughed when I realized he was watching me curiously. Draven smiled at me, and I felt my heart opening to let him in.
Draven is more than the man I've heard about. I know that now. I see the real man in his eyes when he looks at me. I also do not yet want him to know that he was right; I think I'm falling for him.
“I can get you something else.”
“No,” I shake my head. “Thank you, but this is fine. Did the doctor say when I can go home?”
Draven smiles as I push the tray away from me, and he climbs onto the bed in front of me. He takes my hand in his. “Home. I like how that sounds.” I smile shyly. It came naturally for me to say that. “The doctor said you have no serious injuries, no lasting damage, but you do need to take it easy for a few days. That means no work, no lifting, no...”
“Draven,” I laugh and cut him off with my finger against his lips. “When can I go home?”
He smiles, and I move my finger. “An hour or so. They wanted to make sure you can keep the food down.”
Thank God. I really want to take a long, hot bubble bath, and then lie on the couch and watch a film. I'd like to at least pretend to be an ordinary woman who can do as she pleases for a little while.
“Marnie, are you sure you're okay after everything that happened?”
“I'm fine, Draven. Honestly. You seem surprised that I'm not hysterical.”
“With all due respect, Marnie, but most women who went through what you did yesterday would be.”
I bite the inside of my cheek and study him. Draven seems concerned that I'm not a basket case. What does he think is going to happen? I'm not going to have a breakdown over the past. I am a little surprised if I'm honest that I am handling this so well. Maybe the only reason I'm not a basket case is due to the things I've already been through. Whatever the reason, there is no point trying to figure it out.
“I guess I'm stronger than people give me credit for.”
“That you are. That you are.” Draven leans in and kisses my head. “I'll go find the doctor.”
I grab his hand, stopping him from leaving just yet. He looks at me curiously. “Thank you
for everything.” He knows why I'm thanking him, that's why he smiles, only then do I let him leave.
I lean back and close my eyes, hands on my stomach, and a smile on my face. Everything will be okay. I know it will.
Chapter Eight
Draven
I wouldn't say I was a total psychopath. I wouldn't say I was completely sane either. I take pleasure in hurting those who deserve it, and I do mean l love it.
What man wouldn't love to have ultimate power over another human being?
What man wouldn't want to see the look of fear in a man's eyes as he looks down the barrel of your gun? Or the force of a powerful fist?
What man wouldn't want the power to give or take a life?
Don't lie. You know you would.
Take the guy I ended tonight. He was nothing special, didn't pose any real threat to me, or my family. All he really did was mouth off about not wanting to pay for the protection I offer. By doing this, he disrespected me. No one disrespects me and lives! Especially when I'm still angry about what happened to Marnie. Still, I can't stop the rage or need to hurt those around me.
So, what do you think I did with him?
Well, let's just say he looked nothing like the man he used to be by the time I was done with him. Having your face burned off with acid will do that for you. That's not even the worse thing I did to him. Trust me; there are far worse things.
One thing he should have remembered was never to disrespect me. You disrespect me, and you end up a broken mess of burned and charred skin and bone. But not before I've carved and mutilated, electrocuted, waterboarded, starved, mentally tortured, stress tested, and broken every bone in your fucking body with my bare hands! And not necessarily in that order.
When I'm finally done with you, after I've put you somewhere even the crows can't feast upon what's left of you, I'll end your entire bloodline! Every last man, woman, and child.
Lucky for the wife of this motherfucking piece of shit, she didn't deserve it. He beat her all the time, abused her badly. She deserved to be free of him. Cunt gave her a life of hell, and I gave her freedom, money, and a way out of this town for good.
The woman didn't even bat an eyelid. She asked me if her husband was coming back, and if he'd find her. I told her he'd never, be coming back. She looked at me for only a second before smiling and telling me, Thank you.
Thanks aren't needed in those situations. Women like her remind me of my mother and how I wish I could have helped her leave my father before it was too late. However, I didn't help her, she died, and there ain't a damn thing I can do about it now.
I can make sure nothing like that ever happens to my sister, to Marnie. Marnie. I still haven't been able to put what she went through at the hands of the elders out of my head. They may have paid, but I almost lost her in every way but death. For a while there, I honestly thought she'd walk away from me with my baby, and I couldn't have blamed her.
I don't know what it is about Marnie, but she does something to me that no woman ever has. When I told her that she was free to leave, that I wouldn't chase her, but that I would always look out for her, no matter what, I really thought she'd go. I thanked her for her loyalty, and I apologized yet again for my men had done to her. I told her how they'd paid for it all, and I could only hope she'd see that I was sincere. When she told me that she didn't want to leave, I knew I had to do everything in my power to keep her safe. That included letting each one of my men know what would happen to them if they so much as look at Marnie wrong.
I slick back my dark hair after showering the blood and crap of the day away. I splash on a little aftershave before clutching the sink and staring at myself in the mirror.
When did I become the monster I see before me?
I enjoy what I do. I like the power I have over others, but is this really all there is?
If I have a son, is this what I want for him?
Do I really want to put this burden on my child?
Even if I have a daughter, the hell will be the same.
There is no motherfucker in the world smart enough to actually get to my family, but it doesn't stop me worrying that one day somebody might. I worry even more after what Carlos and Louis did. I know there's always some way to get to someone, some leak in the cracks of the foundations of the world I've built around me. Always one person ready to turn on me.
That's why I'm always on my game, always ending anyone I think might turn on me for any reason before they get the chance to do so. This fucking position I'm in can make a man paranoid. Tips a man's mind right close to the damn edge of true insanity sometimes. That's why I have to fight every day of my fucking life not to lose my mind or my life.
I have to pull my shit together. I cannot show one man that I'm having these thoughts. Just one idiot picks up on it, and they'll use it against me. I'm the Boss, dammit, it's my duty to show everyone that they can't shake me. Nothing can rattle me. Usually, it can't. Why is it now? Have those dead fuckers really tipped the point of paranoia this close?
I stand tall, grab my gun and slot it into the holster at my side, then I slip my jacket on and make sure I look presentable. These fucks waiting for me need to see that I'm calm and collected. They need to know that I won't back down on the rules I set in place. I killed Carlos and Louis, two of the eldest members of Famiglia for what they did, and that has every member on high alert. More than one of my men will want me dead. They'll want to overthrow me, that's just the way it goes. Those men will be found out, and I'll end them. I rule by fear. I keep my word, and I never make idle threats. I learned from the best, my uncle, Vinny.
“Boss,” Roberto bows his head in respect as I walk through the door to my office.
My most trusted guys are here, along with the elders. The elders seem to think I'll put up with them keeping watch on my every move. I'm growing pretty tired of the lot of them, and I can feel myself even now, wanting to blow their brains out. I don't give a damn about the council; I am the boss not them! Oh, they may think it's them who really runs the Famiglia, but they are very much mistaken. They couldn't pull my uncle’s strings, and they will never pull mind.
I scan the room and notice half the men and a couple of the women – I do have females working for me – have unlit cigarettes or cigars in their hands. I don't give a shit if they smoke or not, but they're not doing it in my office. I put a stop to it after Marine told me she couldn't bear the smell of smoke on me when I got home at night.
We may not have slept together yet, but I want her to feel comfortable with me. I don't smoke myself, never have done, apart from the odd cigar when there's something to celebrate, so I won't be a damn passive smoker. I'll be damned if I turn my unborn child and its mother into one.
“Anything yet?” I direct my question to Tony while taking my seat behind my huge oak desk.
“Marco has been keeping an eye on his family in case he contacts them. So far he hasn't.”
I nod my head in thought. Paul Simpson is a slippery motherfucker. How is it he managed to escape my men and hide from me ever since? Fuck knows. The men who were supposed to be guarding Simpson are dead. I won't have men or women working for me, being my soldiers if they can't even keep hold of a rat cunt like Simpson.
I have eyes and ears everywhere; that piece of crap can't avoid me forever. The longer it takes us, the worse his death will be.
“I want two men outside Simpson's parent's house, two outside his place, and whomever you can spare around all the main places he's known to be.”
“Don't you think our time is better used on more important things?”
I lean back in my chair, my fingers steepled together. “Are you questioning me, Roderick?” Roderick is in his thirties, smart, strong, but seems to think it's okay to question me, which means he's disrespecting the man I am.
No one disrespects me!
“I just think you're putting a lot into this, Boss. I don't think we need to be on this twenty-four-seven. You took his girl...” Is a
ll he gets out of his mouth before I tear my gun my its holster and put a bullet through his thick fucking skull!
The room is deathly silent but for the buzzing in my ears from the pop of the gun. I am not playing with these motherfuckers! “Anyone else wanna question me on this?”
There's a collective mumbling of no, and you're the boss. Damn fuckin' right I am!
“No one is getting off this job until that cunt is dead! Marnie is the woman I am marrying. She's carrying my child and future heir, that means she's a damn queen! And you better believe you'll all show her the same damn respect you give me. After what those fuckers put her through when I'd warned you all what would happen, she was still loyal to me, to the family. Meaning she was loyal to everyone in this room, you own her the same grace! One more person disrespects her, and I will slaughter your whole family in front of you before I rip your spine from your body! Now find that fucker Marnie was married to, she deserves to be free. I want his head on a damn plate! Don't think for one fuckin' second that you won't end up like Roderick should any of you cross me on this!”
“Don't worry, Boss, we'll find him. He can't hide forever.”
“Good.” I nod at Lorenzo, one of my most loyal men. The man who almost lost his life trying to protect my sister the night my father kidnapped her. “Good. Now, it's late, and I need to get home to my woman. Tony, get this shit cleaned up.” He nods. He'll force somebody else to do the cleanup, but I don't care as long as my office is cleaned up by the time I get back here tomorrow.
“Something you wanna say, Paulo?”
“Boss?” Old fuck looks at me confused. Fucker hadn't taken his eyes off Roderick's body since I shot the cunt. You'd think he'd be used to seeing death how long he's been a member of the family. “Sorry. I have nothing to say.”
“Let's keep it that way.” He nods erratically — silly old fool. Always so damn scared of me and the things I do. For a wiseguy, he's pretty fucking stupid, but he comes in handy when it comes to money and how we make it. That's the only reason I keep him around.
Vidal!: Snakes Henchmen MC Page 8