The truth is, I was terrified of my father and my brother, and I had nowhere to go even if I could have escaped. I will have to live with this for the rest of my whole life. Even if I do get the girls back, the guilt will never leave me.
“Marnie, are you okay, sweetheart?”
I nod my head at Brooke and kiss my nephews head while rocking him. My way of trying to mask the tears. I don't want to cry, but Lydia and Amber, and the fact that I failed them are all I can think about these days. My arms ache so badly to hold them.
“Hey, what's wrong?”
What am I supposed to say to her?
That I'm jealous of the fact, she got to keep Gabriel?
That I feel like a failure because she did what I couldn't for her child?
That he's with her when my daughters aren't with me?
That Gabriel will know and love his little brother just a couple hours old, when my girls may never know their sibling?
That I'm dying inside because it's been months since I saw my little girls, the little girls I am fast losing hope Draven will find?
“Come here.” Draven. My sweet husband-to-be takes my shoulders and turns me to face him, kissing my forehead while wrapping his arms around me, careful of the baby. Hawk gently takes DJ from me and winks before taking his son to his mother.
I snuggle into Draven as he holds me, trying to quill these damn tears. This is my sister's special moment, how dare I let my emotions get the better of me right now? How dare I make this about myself and the fact I'm losing hope? There's a time, and a place for that kind of thing and this isn't it.
I pull away from Draven, wipe my eyes, and kiss him before turning to my sister with a smile on my face. I won't have her worrying about me, not for anything.
“Sorry, Brooke, I'm just hormonal. Seeing DJ...” I smile at her. “It overwhelmed me. I am so happy for you.”
We spend the next two hours visiting, and I love spending time with my little family. No one from our immediate family will come here. Our mother washed her hands of us, and our brothers would like nothing more than to kill us should they see us again. The only reason they haven't sought us out is because of the MC and Draven. Both have made sure since what happened with Peter that our family knows what will happen to them should they come near us.
It doesn't hurt the way I imagined it would. We're not alone, Brooke and I have each other, the men with love, our children, and our friends, but we don't feel like we've lost out by losing our family. They were never much of one, to begin with. We're fortunate to have so many people care about us. People who wouldn't think twice about killing anyone who hurts us. It's strangely comforting.
Draven leaves the room at one point to take an urgent phone call. He's gone an age it seems, to me at least. By the time he comes back, I'm exhausted, that's why he takes me home. He has a meeting to get to, so I take myself to bed. The second I lay down, I'm lost to sleep.
I wake a couple of hours later and notice I have a text on my phone from Draven. I instantly smile. God, he always makes me smile. Since telling him about Lydia and Amber, knowing he loves me as much as I love him, and knowing he is doing everything in his power to find my little girls – even though I have lost hope it will happen – and bring them home to me, I smile all the time. Yeah, I cry, but I'm a pregnant, hormonal woman, who desperately wants her daughter's back.
Draven: Dress up, baby, I'm taking you to dinner ;)
The winky face makes me laugh. I climb out of bed and spend the next hour and a half pruning myself, making myself look as beautiful as I can being the size I am right now. Okay, I mean, I'm lucky, just like last time, I haven't gained any weight anywhere other than my stomach, but that doesn't mean I don't feel like a beached whale.
Oh, god! I have nothing to wear! Not for a night out, at least. What the hell am I supposed to do?
I grab my phone and call Draven. He answers quickly. “Baby, what is it?” I can't help but chuckle. Ever since Peter hurt me, Draven panics over everything, but it makes me feel so safe.
“I'm sorry to call you at work. It's just; I don't have anything to wear to go on our date.”
Date. Paul never took me on dates. Ever. Draven takes me on dates the nights he's not working, and I love how spontaneous he is with it all. It makes it special to me. It keeps our relationship interesting, that's for sure.
“I seem to have outgrown the only cocktail dress I own.” I pout as if he can see it, and Draven laughs as if he can. That's the beauty of us, we just know.
“Look inside the walk-in closet.”
I walk over to the white double doors on the far end of our bedroom. I put my phone on speaker, set it on the dresser, and open those doors. Right in front of my eyes, on a hanger, is the most beautiful, silver, ankle-length cocktail dress I have ever seen. It's strapless and will fit nicely around my bust and stomach, and flatter me everywhere else.
Oh, god, I'm going to cry, I can't believe he did this. Actually, yes, I can. He also bought me shoes to match, and a shawl!
“Oh, my god, Draven!”
“Don't you like it?” He asks in the most confused and disappointed tone of voice, which makes me smile.
“No, baby, it's perfect. When did you do this?”
“While you slept.” While I slept? He must have snuck home to put these here. “Get ready, sweetheart, I'll pick you up in half an hour.”
With the I love you's out the way, we end the call. I slip the beautiful dress over my special virgin white, lace underwear and strapless bra. I then fix my hair into a stylish bun at the nape of my neck and slide a diamond pin in the top to keep it together. I only apply light makeup because Draven prefers light over dark, he says someone with my complexion should never wear dark makeup. I wear what I want to wear, but right now, all I want is to please him. He's doing everything he can to fix my messed up past. I need to be more grateful.
A spritz of perfume, a chunky diamond bracelet that Draven bought me for my birthday a couple of weeks ago, the heart-shaped necklace that my sister bought me for the same reason, and I'm ready.
I stand back and look at myself in the floor-length mirror, turning from side to side, giggling to myself. The dress fits me perfectly, showing just how round my belly is now. I probably sound stupid, but I have never felt this happy in my entire life.
I look down at my diamond engagement ring, the ring Draven gave me the day I fully committed to this relationship, the day I told him that I couldn't wait to be his wife. As I look at it, I realize Draven, and I will never be married before the baby is born. Paul is too good at hiding from view, which is crazy when he's not all that smart. However, he comes from a wealthy family with many connections. I guess it's easy to hide when you have the means to do so.
My lawyer has tried to track him down with no joy. Draven had told me not to bother going down that route because he'll find him, and he will get me the divorce, but even Draven and his men have had no luck. I have to wonder if Paul is even alive anymore. Draven won't even tell me much about what he's working on to find Paul. I ask him a lot, but he keeps so much close to his chest.
I get it. Draven is a big bad Mafia Don, his business isn't mine, but sometimes, I wish he'd confide in me and let some of the burden drop from his shoulder. I in no way want to know about the awful things he does, because knowing about that stuff will play on my mind the way my brother’s death has these past weeks.
I had to read about it in the papers. The cops said a gang of kids murdered Peter and that it was drug-related. My brother was never a drug addict, but according to the reports, my brother was pumped full of heroin, beaten, and shot. Brooke and I weren't invited to his funeral. No one even came to tell us he was dead. Not that I expected anything different.
I'm glad in a way that no one spoke to us about it, the two of us know who killed Peter, but for some reason, it hasn't bothered Brooke at all. She's been able to push it out of her mind like it was nothing to her. Like Peter was nothing to her. I guess Brooke
hardened her heart after what he and Hank tried to do to her, and what she did to get away from them, what I wasn't strong enough to stop them doing to me.
The only good thing about knowing what Draven is, is the fact I know he's not a sex trafficker. I don't think I could be with him if he were. Actually, I know I couldn't be with him. I would never have so much as told him about the baby if that's the kind of man he was. To be honest, I thought he might have been because men like him usually are. However, he swore on our baby's life that he's never been that man, and I believed him.
Drugs? He's neither confirmed nor denied, but I imagine his men traffic those. How else would he control things? And believe me, he does control this town. Hell, this state.
Guns and ammunition?
Yes.
Protection rackets?
Without a doubt.
Killer?
Of course, he is.
He's dangerous beyond words, he walks into a room, and everyone falls silent, then bends over backward to do anything for him. I don't think there are many people who aren't scared of the Don. To be honest, I think everyone is, even if it be a small way. I wouldn't say I'm afraid of him, but he doesn't frighten me sometimes. I'd be a fool not to admit it. Although, I know deep in my heart that Draven would never hurt me. I feel that deep in my bones.
Then there are the women who fall over themselves to get Draven's attention, even in front of me. They have no respect for me whatsoever! I've never been a jealous person, but I am where Draven is concerned. I know it's silly when I'm the one who has his heart, but Draven is a powerful man, a gorgeous, well-built man with dark eyes that draw you in. Any woman in her right mind would want a piece of him. Well, if she knew who he really was, she'd have to have a screw loose, but there's something about a powerful, dangerous man that has a girl shaking for him.
I think Draven secretly likes the fact that I get jealous. I guess I kind of do too because he fucks me so good because of it. It's like it turns him on so much that he takes me anywhere he pleases. He makes me come so hard sometimes that I can't help but scream out my pleasure, no matter where we are. I've even walked out of restrooms to the feeling of people staring at me. It's a little embarrassing, but I always feel so powerful knowing those people know who I am and who I'm with.
I hear the horn of Draven's Audi and make my way downstairs. I open the front door and there he stands with a huge, appreciative smile on his face. “You look beautiful, il mio amore.”
“Thank you,” I giggle. “You look handsome, uomo di miniera.” He smirks at my use of his mother tongue, and it makes me tingle. I've been learning Italian for the past few weeks from anyone willing to give me lessons.
Draven really does look handsome this evening. He's wearing a suit as always, and as always, it's an expensive one, navy blue and tailored to fit his muscle-clad body perfectly. I slide my hands up his chest and entwine them behind his neck. “I've missed you, Mr. Vidal.”
He kisses me with a smile on his handsome face. “I love hearing you say that with such sincerity.” Because his ex-wife never did. “I missed you, too, but let's go, we have things to discuss.”
I nod and take his hand. Christ, I am so horny my clit is throbbing like crazy, and if I squeeze my thighs together, I'll come. I can't allow myself to do that, though, Draven doesn't like it when he hasn't given me permission. The thought that he commands my orgasms just makes me hornier.
God, this is going to be torture.
Ten minutes later, Tony pulls the car over in front of Tombé, a French restaurant I have never been to before. The place looks posh – very Parisian. It smells incredible in here.
We walk into the restaurant hand in hand. The concierge, a young man wearing black pants, a deep red shirt, black tie, and vest, seats us immediately. Every person knows who Draven Vidal is. Everyone treats him like a king. We're seated at the best table in the place. I've come to expect nothing less.
I like it here, everything from the music to waiters to the tables with the candle, the lone flower, and the satin looking table cloths is authentically French. It's the kind of place you se on TV, plus its five stars.
I thank the waiter, a guy who doesn't look any older than twenty, as he holds my chair out for me to sit down. “Can I get either of you anything to drink?” He's nervous about waiting on us, I can see it in his eyes.
That's the sad part of all this, people being scared of us, well, Draven. I know a man such as Draven needs to put fear into people because of who he is, but it bothers me no end. I remember what it was like to be scared of someone. I remember how I feared what came next, what would happen to me if I said something my father didn't agree with. I hate that others feel that way because of my man. The innocent, at least.
“Yes,” Draven answers the young man beside the table. “A bottle of your finest white.”
“Sir,” The waiter scurries off to get the wine. Ass didn't even wait for my order!
“Draven, I can't drink that.” I won't drink that. I won't do anything that could harm this baby's health.
“A sip won't hurt you. We have something to celebrate.”
“What?” I ask with a curious smile just as the waiter comes back with the wine and pours Draven a glass. On Draven's request, he pours a small amount in the bottom of my glass. He then asks the waiter to come back when he's called to take our order.
Draven takes my left hand across the small table, stroking my engagement ring, making me smile. I love my ring. Platinum with one large – not massive, I wouldn't've worn it – pink rose diamond, and two smaller ones either side of the large one.
“What's going on?” I'm a little nervous right now. There's churning in my belly. My baby is moving around inside me, feeling my nervousness. I stroke my stomach with my free hand, calming my baby. I love how whenever my baby seems upset – yes, I said that – all I have to do is stroke my belly and my baby calms instantly. We have that bond already, and it's so special that my heart swells with even more love each time.
“I have something to show you. I don't want you to question it. Just read the papers I hand you and tell me what you think.”
I narrow my eyes and take the papers Draven hands me from his inside pocket. I open them slowly, nervous about what I'll find. My eyes narrow; further, I can't quite believe what I'm seeing. “Draven. How...?”
“We found him, and he signed.” He shrugs nonchalantly.
“Just like that? After he said, he would never sign? After he escaped you?” Am I to honestly believe that after finding Paul, getting him to sign the divorce papers, Draven just let him go? How stupid does he think I am? “What did you do to him to make him sign, Draven?”
“Nothing.” His answer is clipped. I don't blame him for not wanting to tell me, as much as I hate Paul, if Draven did something terrible to him it would play on my mind. I know in my heart though that Draven would never just let Paul go just because he finally signed these papers.
“Draven, please don't lie to me.”
He sighs, and I feel awful because I'm making him feel bad for finally setting me free, but I'm scared that he killed Paul or worse. What's worse than death? A lot where this man is concerned.
“The truth is,” He sighs again.
“Tell me.” I urge gently while squeezing his hand in mine. I don't want to spoil what should have been a special moment between us, but I won't be able to enjoy tonight until I know what happened. I just know Paul wouldn't have signed these papers willingly. My lawyer has been unsuccessful in finding him, the MC also, and Draven too. What the hell changed?
Draven leans forward in his seat. “I have a lot of people in my pocket, Marnie. A lot who owe me something. I won't have my baby born to unmarried parents! That's why I called in a few debts. The divorce is legal.”
“But the signature isn't Paul's, is it?”
“No,” He's honest with me, and that's what I wanted, right? I swallow hard and take a sip of water from the glass the waiter filled when we arrived
. “I know a good forger. My men obtained Paul's signature, and my guy signed the papers, I sent them off. That arrived this morning,” He points to the papers in my hand. “After I paid the appropriate people to rush them through.”
“Shouldn't I have gone in front of a judge for all of this?” I've never been divorced before, but I thought that's what would have happened. I don't understand how they got around this.
“According to the documents filed, you did.” What the? “Obviously, it states that, “Paul” agreed to the divorce under the grounds you filed for in order to not have a lengthy court battle. It also states in the documents that you wanted nothing from him, no property, no money. I don't want you having anything from that man. You are mine, and you need nothing from him, it's my place to take care of you. Cut and dry. Done and dusted.”
It may not have been entirely ethical of him, but the papers in my hand are legal. I am finally divorced from Paul, free to marry Draven. He did all of this for me so that we can be a real family.
Family. I've never really had one of my own, not one I could be proud of at least, aside from my sister.
I love Draven so much, I really do.
I get out of my seat and walk around the table. I touch Draven's shoulder, and he scoots his chair back enough for me to climb onto his lap with both legs to the right. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his lips softly, not caring who in this place can see me. “What was that for?”
“Because you, Draven Vidal, are amazing, and I cannot wait to marry you.”
“Does that mean I don't have to wait any longer to make you my wife?” I smile while stroking his face with the back of my hand, and his hands lock around my waist gently. I want nothing more than to marry him right now, but there are still two little people missing — my little girls.
Draven is always banging on about tradition and how he won't have his child classed as a bastard because we weren't married, but what about my little girls? If he does find them and bring them home, how the hell will he get away with telling people that he's their father? Because that's what he told me people would think, that the girls are his. That's what he wants. That's what I want. However, people know I was married to Paul without any children. I don't want people ever to think they're not mine and Draven's. Not that adoption is a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing, but Lydia and Amber came from my body, and I want people to know that.
Vidal!: Snakes Henchmen MC Page 20