“She will no doubt hold the new queen and her attendants to those same high standards. You will need to use the utmost discretion in your dealings with Beast, lest the connection draw your reputation into question.”
“Thank you for the warning, Captain Dunois, although I expected as much. Well, perhaps not the revelation about the king.” I smile wryly so he will not see my embarrassment.
As I watch Captain Dunois disappear down the hall, I feel like a brittle autumn leaf that has been caught up in a windstorm. I have been praised, warned, and admired, all within a quarter of an hour. All by the same man.
I wonder which of those he will feel when he learns what transpired this afternoon.
Chapter 16
y noxious brew of emotions propels me down the hall, the lies I have just told sitting like a lump of lead in my gut. I cannot even enjoy Captain Dunois’s hard-won respect without the actions I was forced to take against Pierre tainting it. I should have killed the bastard when I had the chance.
But that is far easier to say without Charlotte and Louise standing here with their wide, frightened eyes. Nor do I think that would have warranted Captain Dunois’s respect any more than what I did. But by not killing Pierre, I feel as if I have allowed a poisonous serpent to roam free, endangering not only my sisters, but Beast.
Would killing Pierre have been the right thing to do if not for my sisters’ presence? How thin is the line between self-defense and willful murder? I fear it will be too thin for me to recognize as I cross it.
I cannot even turn to my sisters for comfort right now, afraid they will see my anger and be frightened by it.
It frightens me.
Anger, along with violence, is the favored currency of my family. The family I want no part of, and yet is always there—in my memories, in the world, in my actions.
When I step outside the palace, the gathering storm clouds have grown so dark that the late afternoon sky looks as if night has already fallen. The wind that howls through the courtyard mirrors the storm in my own heart.
I draw my cloak more tightly around me. Go ahead and try, I mutter. I would welcome the chance to fight something—even the wind.
Because I still can, I slip one of my knives into my hand, concealing it among the folds of my cloak—but only barely. I am not required to hide who I am just yet.
The courtyard is still full of Rohan’s men, but the chaos is giving way to order as the castle’s steward and stable master see that all the men and horses are cared for.
I plunge through the crowd, not caring whose arm I jostle or elbow I bump. A heavily bearded soldier looks up with a growl of warning. I meet his gaze, praying he will start something. Instead, he mutters an apology and steps aside. Coward, I want to shout at him, but he has given way and that will have to be victory enough.
Deciding to put my anger and restlessness to good use, I head for the perimeter wall that separates the palace from the rest of the city. I want to know how Pierre got in.
Rohan’s troops had only just arrived as I chased him out of the garden. If Pierre had come through the gates prior to the troops, the sentries would have questioned him. He would not have risked that.
Unless he was there with Rohan’s knowledge. I turn sharply and begin walking the perimeter. No, that cannot be. The houses of Rohan and d’Albret have never been close allies. Indeed, they have often competed for the same crumb of power or land. They would not collaborate on this.
Which means Pierre likely breached the palace wall. A ladder, grappling hooks, a rope. Any of those could create a way in. In addition to the main gate tower, there are two smaller gates. They are also guarded, but by fewer men. If Pierre gained entrance there, one of the sentries will know.
As I scan the thick stone walls of the palace’s outer bailey for any signs of forced entry, yapping hounds of guilt nip at my heels. Could I have prevented this?
It is not possible to keep my sisters locked inside the palace every moment of every day, nor personally guard them every second. If so, how would I serve the duchess?
* * *
When I reach the southern gate, a frisson of unease slithers through me. The guard who should be on duty is not at his post. I tighten the grip on my knife and pull a second one from its sheath. At the door, I pause. There is nothing. No sound. No beating hearts. Frowning, I slip around the corner, then cautiously peer inside.
A man is sprawled on the floor.
Swearing under my breath, I hurry to his side. The sentry lies face-down in a pool of dark blood, a knife protruding from his back. It is a common weapon, the kind many soldiers favor. Because it is so unexceptional, it is precisely the sort I would choose for such a task.
I slip my own blade back in its sheath, then gently pull the dagger from the dead man. “I am sorry,” I whisper as I reach out to turn him over.
The moment my fingers touch his shoulder, his soul unfurls from his body and rushes at me. Even as I reel in shock, I recognize it at once. It is the vibrant one I encountered just a few short hours ago while up on the battlements, where I was cradled in Beast’s arms. Laughing and complaining of my small problems. Ignoring this very soul and accusing him of acting like an indulged cat.
My stomach curdles at my own stupidity. This is how I could have prevented Pierre’s attack. By listening to this soul’s warning.
Sickened and ashamed, I open myself to the dead guard.
A sense of outrage crashes into me like a wave, nearly causing me to sway. Outrage at treachery inside the walls of the palace. Outrage that some coward would strike him in the back. Outrage that he had become the weak link in the duchess’s defenses.
As the first wave of emotion recedes, bewilderment takes its place, resulting in a dizzying swirl of images: Pierre’s face, the tabard of red and yellow, the bitter taste of betrayal, a lingering sense of loss. The man is young, not yet married, and just setting out to make a name for himself.
When he has finally quieted, he pauses, radiating a faint sense of indignation as he studies me.
“I’m sorry I failed you,” I whisper. “I should have heeded your warning. Please forgive me.” The soul withdraws in on itself, feeling as if it is not in any position to grant or receive forgiveness.
But the soul is wrong. It was my error, not his, that allowed Pierre to get as far as he did. My arrogance and complacency did this. While I did not kill the guard, everything that came afterward is my fault.
I close my eyes and let the caustic shame and bitterness burn through me, turning that arrogance and complacency to ash. When I have grown accustomed to the pain of it, I open my eyes and stare down at the fallen guard.
How can I grant this loyal man the peace he deserves? I do not have a misericorde, the most rare of Mortain’s weapons that will instantly send a soul on its journey, relieving it of the need to linger for three days. Only Ismae has that.
But . . . the misericorde is made of Mortain’s own bones, or so they said. I am no longer certain if I believe that to be true, if I ever did, but within that legend is the seed of an idea.
I take the point of my knife and prick the thick pad of my littlest finger. Dark red blood oozes up. I stare at it for a moment. Blood and bone, the very stuff we humans are made of. The very stuff the gods themselves were once made of. Held sacred by all the Nine, and the new Church as well. Flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone.
“You have served your duchess and country well,” I whisper. “May the Nine grant you peace.” I reach out and smear the drop of blood onto the man’s forehead, the precise spot where the marque of Mortain most often appeared when he still guided my hand.
The results are as shocking as they are sudden. The soul grows buoyant, lighter, as if unraveling from the tether of earthly guilt and fear. After a brief flash of delighted awe, it circles me once, twice, and a third time, then rushes upward and dissolves, becoming a part of the very air itself.
I gape openmouthed as I look back down at the body, then
at the space above it. The soul is truly gone. Was that gift always available to me? Or is it something new caused by the shift in the Nine?
I look down at my own finger, a small drop of blood brilliant against my white skin. A sense of lightness fills me. Like that soul, I almost feel as if I could rise up into the air.
Even with the passing of Mortain, I might still contain mysteries I have not yet discovered.
Chapter 17
y the time I get back to the palace, dusk has fallen. Torches are lit along the wall, their flames stretched thin, sparks fluttering in the strong wind.
The courtyard holds easily twice as many of Rohan’s men as when I left earlier. Disappointed that Beast is not there waiting for me, I snag a page hurrying from one of the outbuildings and tell him to fetch Beast from the garrison. The boy tries not to let his annoyance show—I have probably just delayed his dinner—but bows smartly and does as instructed.
Surely Beast is back by now, and I am anxious to hear what happened. I must also let him know what has transpired here this afternoon. We will need to assign double watches on the lesser used gates as well as arrange for a proper burial for the fallen sentry. This has been an important reminder that not all our enemies became allies when we signed the betrothal agreement with France.
While I linger in the shadows waiting for Beast, I listen for any whispers of why Rohan and his men are in Rennes. There is talk of horses, complaints about the crowded quarters, and assurances that Rohan will put all this to rights soon enough. My ears perk up at that, and I take a step closer, only to have the page call out to me.
My pleasure at how quickly he has returned turns to dismay when I see he has brought not Beast, but Captain Lannion. “My lady.” Captain Lannion bows. “How can I be of help?”
“Beast is not back yet?” He has been gone more than four hours. It should not be taking this long.
“No, my lady. Is there something I can do for you?” His voice holds a faint note of concern.
Captain Lannion and I have traveled together, camped and fought together, but I am not ready to share my concerns with him. “Thank you, but no.” After one last polite bow, he returns to the garrison.
My mind is as unsettled as a harried fox. Pierre did not have that great a head start. And two of his men were mortally injured. Beast should have been back by the time the council meeting was over, though clearly there were scores more of Rohan’s men just outside the gates that he had to search among and wade through.
Or Pierre himself could have had more men waiting outside. Of course he did—he never travels with less than half a dozen retainers, and often ten times that. True fear runs along my skin, drawing it taut. Have I sent Beast straight into a trap?
No. I clench my hands into fists, then open them again. No.
Pierre would not travel with that many men, not on this sort of mission. And Beast is not called Beast for nothing. When he was but fifteen years old, he rode into a d’Albret stronghold to ascertain the safety of his sister, Louise’s mother. He did not see her, but was met by twelve of d’Albret’s men-at-arms. He walked away—leaving eight dead and four to limp back to explain their defeat to their enraged liege. The battle lust Saint Camulos gifted him with served him well that day, and it will serve him again. Pierre’s men are no match for it.
Besides, I remember how insulted I was by Ismae and Duval’s fussing and clucking over me. I’ll not insult Beast by doing the same to him.
But Sweet Jesu, this loving someone is hard. Might as well rip a piece of one’s heart from one’s chest and feed it to wild pigs.
* * *
By the time I reach Captain Dunois’s office, my shoulders are so stiff that my entire back aches. It is bad enough that Beast is not back yet, but now I must admit that I lied to Captain Dunois. And tell him of Pierre’s visit, flaunting my family’s sordid history.
I remind myself that Captain Dunois already knows my family’s history. He knows of the treacheries and deceits they have perpetuated in the past. He did not hold me responsible then, and he will not hold me responsible now.
But who is to say he should not?
Pierre’s visit today was an ugly personal matter. One that should never have come so close to the duchess or cost her any of her men. It should not truly have even concerned Beast, except that he stuck his big lumpen nose into my affairs months ago and has refused to budge from my side.
As I raise my hand to knock on the captain’s door, the knowledge that I am the one responsible for bringing this mess to the duchess’s door writhes in my gut like small white grubs in newly turned earth. I try to use my anger at Pierre to erect a shield between me and these unwelcome truths, but the anger is no match for the carefully honed edge of my self-loathing.
“Come in,” the captain calls out.
When I enter, he looks up from the letter he is penning, his face creasing in concern. “My lady, are you all right?”
“Yes, my lord.”
His frown deepens. “Do you have news of Beast?”
“Yes. And no.”
“Go on.” Although he hides it well, there is a faint note of unease in his voice.
For a moment, the enormity of what I must tell him overwhelms me.
The truth. As simply as possible. With no nooks or crannies for me to hide in. “The story has two parts.”
Dunois sets his quill on the desk and gives me his full attention. Because I wish to rush and get it over with, I force myself to utter the words calmly. “There has been an incident.”
Captain Dunois waits as patiently as a mountain, and I think of all the soldiers who must have confessed to him over the years. My hands clench the back of the chair in front of me. “My brother Pierre paid a visit today. He came upon me and my sisters in the garden.”
Dunois rises so quickly that the force of it shoves his chair back. “Your brother was here? How in God’s name did he get past the guards?”
“He and two of his men dressed in Viscount Rohan’s colors.”
“And so had free access to the palace grounds.” His eyes narrow. “But you are all unharmed?”
“Yes.”
He studies me carefully. “Are you certain?”
“I am fine.”
“Perhaps,” he concedes. “But you are also shaking.”
I let go of the chair and wrap my arms around my middle. “It was cold outside, and my search for Pierre’s means of entry took a while. That is the second part of the story. One of the guards had been murdered.”
Dunois runs his hands over his close cropped hair. “Where?”
“At the south gate. We should send someone for his body as well as arrange a double watch on both the south and east towers.”
Captain Dunois reaches for his sword. “Agreed. We should also double the guard on you and your sisters.”
Of all the responses I was anticipating, concern for my family’s safety was not one of them. “That brings us to the third part of the story.”
Something in my voice causes him to pause. “Beast?” he asks quietly.
“Beast. He was in the courtyard as I was pursuing my brother and his men. I . . . I asked him to follow them so I could return to my sisters. I was uncomfortable leaving them alone any longer than I had to.”
“In case your brother had additional men still on the premises.”
“Yes. Exactly so.”
He busies himself strapping his sword belt around his hips. “Which is why I think we should place an extra guard on your family.”
“Ismae, Lazare, and Yannic are with them now.”
Dunois nods. “They’re good, but Lazare needs to keep training every moment he can in order to be equal to the others of the queen’s guard. But that is a most excellent use of Yannic.” He pauses, “I wonder who else . . .”
I try to direct him back to the matter at hand. “But Beast has still not returned.”
“I am not overly concerned about Beast, my lady. Not yet anyway. I am
more interested in ensuring this does not happen again.”
“I appreciate your concern for my family, but my sisters are . . . They do not trust strange men easily. I fear your effort to help them will only cause greater distress.”
His gruff face softens, and in that moment, I see his full awareness of all that I have suffered, of all that I want to protect my sisters from. “What if they were not men?”
My heart shifts, expanding as Dunois’s astute kindness works its way in. “Who are these non-men you have in mind?”
“The followers of Arduinna. They have little enough to do while waiting to leave for France. But more important, it is the very nature of their service to their goddess—to protect the innocent.”
I cannot believe I did not think of this sooner. Although to be fair, he is not aware of the longstanding animosity between the followers of Saint Arduinna and Saint Mortain.
For the first time in more hours than I can count, the knot inside me loosens. “That is an excellent idea, my lord. I will speak with them in the morning.”
He reaches for his gloves. “Now I’d best see to doubling the watch and sending someone for that poor soldier.”
“Thank you. Should I tell the duchess what has transpired, or would you prefer to do so?” It is not a conversation I relish, but neither will I shirk it.
He comes around his desk and busies himself pulling his gloves onto his blunt fingers. “That is not necessary.”
“Surely she should know.”
“She does know. She knew full well when she offered your sisters protection what Pierre was capable of. That’s why she offered them safekeeping. Besides, I am going to double the guard around the palace, and you are going to double the guard around your sisters. We have taken care of the problem. I do not inform her of every tactical decision I make, and this is no different.” He folds his arms and leans against the edge of the desk, considering me as he weighs some inner struggle. “You are not the only one to have an ugly family history, you know,” he says at last.
Courting Darkness Page 10