by Cathryn Fox
Fallon’s smile is wobbly and I get that a part of her is happy to sell, but there’s also a part that is reluctant. I go back to playing with Chase as she talks to John about searching out smaller houses near the hospital as they head inside.
A few minutes later she sticks her head back out the door. “That went better than I thought. No staging or painting needed.”
“The house is only five years old, plus you haven’t been here this last…” I let my words fall off as her eyes grow watery. “Fallon,” I say and step up to her. “If it’s going on the market right away, I should get to work on clearing the closets. Do you want to take some time today to go through things?” I ask.
She nods. “I can do that today.”
“Chase is asking if he can go swimming. Why don’t I drop him with Mom and Dad? That will give you time to yourself, and I’ll come back and take care of the things you want to throw out or donate.”
Her gaze leaves mine and falls over her rambunctious son. “I don’t know. He just got reacquainted with them yesterday. Is it too much to ask them, and will he be okay alone without me?”
I grin. “Watch this.” I turn to Chase. “Hey buddy, you want to go swimming with Grandma and Grandpa?”
“I do. I do. I do,” he says and starts running in a circle. Fallon laughs and it brings a smile to my face.
“Chase, come here,” she says.
He runs over and she drops to her knees. “Uncle Jamie is going to take you and I’m going to stay here because I have some things do to. Is that okay?”
“Okay, Mommy,” he says.
Fallon rolls her eyes at me. “Wow, I feel so important.” She stands. “Okay, let’s get your bag packed.” She takes his hand. “You don’t think they’ll mind?”
“Positive. I’ll call now.” I grab my phone and call as Fallon gets Chase ready. By the time she comes back downstairs, Chase now out of his pajamas, I say, “They’re thrilled. They asked if they could keep him for dinner as well.”
“You want to have dinner with Grandma and Grandpa, Chase?” Fallon asks.
“I want watermelon,” he yells.
I snort. “I take that as a yes.”
Fallon hands me her keys. “Take my SUV. It has the car seat in the back.” Fallon follows us outside, and buckles Chase in. I shut the door and turn to her, see the strain in her eyes. A lump clogs my throat and there isn’t a thing I can do to swallow it down.
“You going to be okay?” I ask, and resist the urge to pull her in for a hug, tell her everything is going to be okay. Because it’s not. Nothing will ever be okay for her again. Last night, for a short time we were able to lose ourselves in each other, forget about life for a while, but now, under the stark light of reality, the world once again weighs heavy on her.
Because of me.
“As good as can be expected,” she answers with a forced smile.
“I won’t be long. I’ll get Chase settled and be back.” Before I open the driver’s side door, I ask, “Starbucks, salted caramel latte?”
Her eyes practically roll back in her head and it’s almost the same look she gave me when she was coming in my arms. “You remember.”
“Yeah, I remember,” I say. “Okay, see you shortly.” I climb into the driver’s seat and start the vehicle.
As I back out, Chase says, “I want to hear the alligator song.”
“No idea what that is, bud,” I say as I adjust the rearview mirror and glance at him.
“Press that button.” He points at the console and I scan it until I figure out what he’s pointing at. I press the DVD play button, and the next thing I know some god-awful song blares through the speakers. Chase starts singing along and I cringe. What the ever-loving fuck am I listening too? Behind me, Chase starts chomping his hands to the beat and I wish I had ear plugs because now I’m going to have an earworm for the rest of the day. Fuck man, how can Fallon listen to this?
I drive through the light morning traffic and Chase is practically jumping in his seat when I pull up to Mom and Dad’s place. They come out the door when they see us. I exit the vehicle.
“Thanks guys,” I say. “I’m helping Fallon get the house ready today, so watching Chase is a big help.”
Mom comes from the steps and Chase instantly goes to her. She scoops him up for a hug. “You go ahead. He’s in good hands.”
“Don’t I even get a hello or a hug?” I say, and laugh when Mom shoos me away.
My father snorts. “Take all the time you need, son,” he says, and they all disappear inside.
“Don’t forget his water wings,” I call out.
“It’s not our first rodeo,” Dad calls back to me and I just shake my head. No, I suppose it’s not and Ethan and I were the rodeo clowns who’d given them most of their gray hair.
I head to Starbucks and drive back to Fallon’s, hoping I gave her enough time to go through Ethan’s things. My heart squeezes. What she’s doing can’t be easy. I ease into the driveway, grab her latte, and walk into the house to find it quiet.
“Fallon,” I call out.
“Up here,” she says, and I follow her voice and find her in her room sitting on her bed, going through old photo albums. I hand her the latte.
“Thanks, Jamie,” she says, putting it on the nightstand and patting the mattress beside her. I sit next to her and glance at the pictures, but it’s the tears in her eyes that are holding my attention. I slide my hand around her back and she leans into me.
“You okay?” I ask quietly.
“I am,” she assures me, and I hug her tighter. “Remember this?” she says, her words a half laugh, half cry.
I glance at the picture of us in Mom and Dad’s pool from a years ago, before Chase was born, and I made the NHL. Fallon is on my shoulders, and her friend Maria is on Ethan’s, and the girls are trying to knock each other off using water noodles like they’re jousting lances. I laugh and shake my head.
“Seems like that was just yesterday.”
“We won,” she says, with a small smile as she gazes at the picture like she’s a million miles away.
I nudge her. “That’s because we were a good team.”
“Yeah, we were,” she says, an almost wistful, yearning in her voice.
“Maria was the one who introduced Ethan and me to you at her party when you were both started nursing school.”
She nods. “I remember.”
“What ever happened to her?”
“Got married, and moved to Colorado. We’re Facebook friends, and she came back for the funeral. But with busy lives, we don’t get to spend too much time together.”
I go quiet for a long time as she flips the pages, and looks over the photos. Finally, I break the silence. “Did you go through Ethan’s stuff?”
“Yeah,” she gestures toward the tote. “I’m keeping those things. Some keepsakes for Chase.” I take a look around the room, assess how many trips I’ll have to take to Goodwill. Fallon closes the book, and her eyes go wide as she looks at me. “Tell me you are not humming the alligator song?” she says.
“Mother fucker, I am,” I say, and she bursts out laughing. “It’s the worst.”
“The worst,” she agrees. “We listened to it on repeat from Spokane to Seattle the other day.”
“And you’re still sane?” I ask, warmth pushing back the sadness as her laughter curls around me.
“I’m not sure if I ever was to begin with,” she says and I chuckle with her.
We both go quiet again and I break it with, “Want to get out of here?”
She shakes her head no. “I have to get this place—”
“After we get the place ready. Let’s get out of here, and take Chase to the ocean.” I shouldn’t be pushing for this. I really shouldn’t be. My plan was not to get too close again, not to let this family trust in me, when I’m not a guy who can be trusted. Plus being around her is fucking with me, urging me to give in to the things I feel, but I can’t. I can’t risk my heart. Not anymore. �
��You don’t want to be here when John starts showing the place,” I say forcing the issue. “Katee and Luke will be there. So will Nina and Cole with their son Brandon. You remember them, don’t you?”
What are you doing, dude?
She nods. “I remember them from the barbecue you threw a while back.”
“Zander’s wife Sam, and Jonah’s wife Quinn are flying in with the guys. They both have kids and I’m sure they’d love to meet you and Chase.”
“Okay.” She lets out a breath. “Yeah, let’s do it. I can look for a day care when we get back. Chase has been through a lot and I think it will be good for him.”
“Okay, good,” I say. “I’ll let Cole know.” I glance around the room, note the cell phone in a plastic bag inside the tote with her keepsakes. I swallow hard when I recognize it as Ethan’s phone, still in the hospital bag with his watch, ring and a few other belongings that were on his person when he died. “We can still find a daycare. We can spend the next week getting the house ready, and I know Mom would be happy to garden, and we can check out daycares before we go.”
What is with all the ‘we’?
“I guess that’s a good idea.”
She gives me a smile that might just hold a measure of hope for a better future and I give her a squeeze and say, “Why don’t you take your drink and go downstairs? I’m going to get to work here.”
“Okay, thanks, Jamie.”
“Fallon—”
She plants on hand on her hip. “Why don’t you like me saying that?”
I give an exaggerated exhale. “If you want to know the truth, it makes me want to fuck you,” I say bluntly.
Her eyes go wide and her beautiful breasts bounce and pull my attention when her chest heaves. “Oh. I thought we weren’t doing that anymore.”
“We’re not,” I say, but when she wets her lips, my cock twitches in heated anticipation. “You should go, drink your latte, otherwise…”
She hesitates for a moment, turns her back to me and as she walks out the door, I hear her whisper, “Thanks, Jamie.”
Motherfucker.
7
Fallon
Fallon
“I’m going swimming. I’m going swimming. I’m going swimming,” Chase says on repeat as Jamie drives my SUV to the cottage on the shore.
He takes a sip of his coffee and sets it back in the console. “I don’t know what’s worse. His chanting or the damn alligator song.”
He casts me a quick glance and when I smile, we both say, “Alligator song.” Laughing together, his hand slides across the seat and captures mine. I absorb his warmth, take comfort in his touch. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to laugh, and after getting the house and gardens ready, the pool cleaned and alarm system installed, not to mention finding Chase an excellent daycare, I can’t help but feel a new lightness inside me.
I still have a few weeks off before I go back to work, and my realtor is lining up smaller homes for me to view when I get back from this much needed vacation. Now for the next week, I can just sit back, relax and enjoy the ocean with my son, and my rock-solid best friend. A guy who I have not been to bed with again, and I must say, it’s not because I don’t want to sleep with him. There’s no denying I want his touch again, want to feel him inside my body, and I’m pretty sure his father picked up on the tension between us while he was helping us get the house ready for sale. I can’t imagine he’d be too happy with either one of us. But what he doesn’t understand is that things weren’t good between Ethan and me, and Ethan was most likely hiding things—big things. I’m not sure what I would have done or said if Barry had come right out and asked if there was something going on between Jamie and me.
Will his friends pick up on the tension too?
Heck, maybe we should sleep together again, just to clear the air, and tamp down this insane sexual tension before I burst into a million tiny pieces.
“Something on your mind?” he asks.
I give him a coy grin. “Maybe.”
He arches his brow and eyes me. “And you’re not telling me why?”
“Maybe I’ll tell you later.” I gesture with a nod over my shoulder. “When little ears aren’t listening.”
He casts me a sidelong glance, his eyes narrowing. “Am I going to like it?”
“I think so,” I say. Yes, okay we agreed not to sleep together again. We don’t want to ruin our friendship and he is my brother-in-law, but maybe while we’re on vacation for this next week, we can take a vacation from real life too. Things can go back to normal when we get home and as soon as hockey season starts again, I’m sure he’ll be back in bed with all his bunnies. Until then, however…
“I don’t like that grin, Fallon. You’re up to something,” he says, and I reach for my latte and take a sip.
“When did you get so paranoid?” I ask as I lick the foam from my lips and note the way Jamie is watching.
“When did you get so secretive?”
“When did you start answering questions with questions?” I laugh and whack him. He captures my hand, and feigns hurt as he holds it against his hard stomach.
He gestures with his chin, and I glance out the window. “We’re here.”
As I sit up a little straighter, Chase screams, “We’re here, we’re here. Mommy, we’re here.”
I laugh and shake my head. “I think someone is happy to be here.”
“Are you?” he asks, his voice holding a measure of seriousness.
“I am,” I say. “Thanks Jamie.” I bit my lip to stop myself from grinning when he clenches his jaw, the muscles rippling as he growls.
Hmm, maybe I won’t have a talk with him. Maybe I’ll have a little fun with him, tease him until he’s ready to break from frustration. With that delicious thought in mind, I glance around, taking in the rows of amazing homes, the kids, families, and dogs playing on the sand, or in the water, as the midday sun beats down on them.
“This is amazing,” I whisper, incredulous. “Wait, did you ever buy a place here, I remember…”
“No, it never happened, but Rider is in Belize with his latest. This is his place, and now ours for the week,” he says, parking in front of a beachside mansion.
“This is a cottage?”
Jamie laughs. “I know, right? Pretty nice. Come on, let’s get settled and I’ll introduce you to everyone.”
I know most of the guys from watching the team, met many of them in person at Jamie’s place, but I’ve not yet met Samantha, or Quinn, or any of their children. Daisy is a little older than Chase, Brandon and Scotty a bit young, but I’m sure they’re going to get along great.
“Mommy, Mommy, let me out,” Chase says, kicking the back of my seat as I open my door and climb out. A warm briny breeze washes over me, and the last of the tension drains from my body as laughter curls around me. I help Chase from his seat, and drop to my knees to have a talk to him.
“Now remember what I said, Chase. You can’t run off alone. This is a big place, and the ocean is dangerous. You have to have an adult with you at all times, okay?”
Nodding, he shades the sun from his eyes, and glances out over the water. “Mommy, look,” he yells as a huge black dog comes running toward us. I shriek and shove Chase behind me, but Jamie comes up to us and drops to his knees to intervene.
“He’s friendly,” he says as the dog leaps into his arms, knocking him backward. Chase laughs, and Jamie rubs the dog’s ears. “Huxley, what kind of greeting is that?” he asks the excited dog, who is wiggling and wagging his tail so hard he’s practically spinning in a circle.
“I want to pet Huxley,” Chase yells. “Mommy, I want a dog.”
“Come here, bud,” Jamie says and holds the dog still so Chase can pet him. My heart stalls as I watch the two, and even though Jamie has no idea, he’s been such a positive role model for Chase. Before we even came to the beach, he purchased fishing supplies, floaty toys, and buckets and shovels. He would have been such a great dad.
My heart squeezes at that thought, and my throat tightens. There are things I know—suspect—but I could never, ever in a million years tell Jamie. He’s been hurt enough, and my suspicions would destroy him.
“About time you got here.” I glance up to see Cole Cannon—The Playmaker—and he’s grinning as he wrestles Huxley off Jamie. “Go play, boy,” he says, and the dog runs off to the sun-washed beach to play as Cole holds his hand out to me.
“Fallon, I’m so glad you decided to come.” He pulls me to my feet and I brush sand from my backside. “The girls can’t wait to say hello, and I know the kids have been waiting to play with Chase.”
“I’m looking forward to catching up with everyone,” I say.
“Barbecue and bonfire tonight, outside my place. Potluck. Hope you guys can make it,” Cole says.
“That sounds like a lot of fun,” I say. “Jamie bought a ton of food, so I’ll make some salads.”
“I want pancakes.” I glance at Chase as he crinkles his nose at my salad suggestion.
“A man after my own heart,” Cole says as he ruffles Chase’s too-long hair. “Jesus, he looks like you, Jamie,” he says.
“Poor kid,” a male voice says, coming up behind Cole.
Cole turns and shoves Luke—the hockey player known as the Stick Handler—and they get into a wrestling match right in the sandy driveway. I roll my eyes at their antics, but I secretly love the comradery between all these hockey players. They’re all good guys, with hearts of gold.
“Are you two at it again?” Zander, the player known as the Hard Hitter asks, and peels them off each other. “Fallon, it’s nice to see you again. Don’t mind these two. They’ve been off the ice too long and have a lot of pent up aggression.”
I totally understand the pent-up thing, but mine isn’t aggression. It’s passion. Though I think it’s best to keep that to myself.
The guys continue to shove one another as another player joins us. I recognize him as the Body Checker. “Nice to see you, Fallon,” he says.
I nod, vaguely remember meeting Jonah and a few of the other players at the funeral. All the guys came, but at the time, I’d been walking around in a daze, that whole month is nothing but a blur to me.