by Cathryn Fox
He growls, slides one hand around my waist, and drags me to him. His mouth captures mine, and the kiss is slow and soft at first, an easy exploration. But when I sag against him, put my hands on his chest and scratch slightly, it brings out the beast in him. He deepens the kiss, his tongue sliding in to play with mine as he backs me up, presses his hard erection against my body.
After last night, and all the fun we had, it’s insane that he’s hard again—insane how much I want him again. I guess so many years of pent up passion has turned me into a regular old nymphomaniac. But I don’t suspect I’d be this way with anyone but this man.
He angles his head, and claims my mouth with his, stealing the breath from my lungs. Honestly, how can a man who wants only a physical relationship kiss me like that? Like he means it. Like maybe he wants more and doesn’t know it.
Okay, Fallon. Cut it out, that’s just wishful thinking.
A knock sounds on the door, and we jump apart. I’m breathing hard, my body on fire, my skin flushed, when I ask, “Who could that be?” A sickening knot grips my gut, and for a minute I worry that it’s Sara, coming back to patch things up with her man.
Would Jamie want that?
The door flings open and loud chatter reaches my ears as I see the four guys, the four women and the three kids come busting in, carrying delicious smelling casserole dishes and paper bags and juice containers.
“What’s going on?” Jamie asks.
“Breakfast,” Cole says.
“I was just about to cook,” I say, my gaze darting from one person to the other trying to figure out what’s going on.
“We have a ton of food here,” Katee says, then goes still. “Wait, did Luke forget to tell you that we were all having breakfast here?”
Jamie punches Luke on the arm. “Yeah, he kind of did,” Jamie says but he doesn’t look like he minds the interruption. I don’t either.
“I had other things on my mind, baby,” Luke says and pulls her in for a kiss.
“Get a room,” Jonah says as pushes passed them. “I’m starving.”
“Me, too,” Jamie says, and I laugh.
“You’re always hungry,” I say but when he turns to me, and I catch the promise in his eyes, one that says we’ll be finishing what we started here, a fine shiver moves through me.
“I’ll go get a shirt on,” he says.
“Where’s Chase?” Daisy asks, her curls bouncing as she searches the room.
“He’s upstairs, come with me and I’ll help you find him.”
The kids all dash upstairs with Jamie, and Katee sidles up to me. “We weren’t catching you at a bad time, were we?”
“No,” I say quickly, too quickly, and she laughs.
“You’re looking a bit flushed,” she says. “If you want us to go, we will and we’ll take Chase.”
I fan my hand in front of my face, but Katee is no fool. “No. No. It’s just hot here at the beach,” I explain with a grin, but then my thoughts go back to Sara. Guilt for keeping the phone call from Jamie eats at me. Should I tell him? Heck, Sara was my friend, my confidante. She’s the one I’d go to when I was having a dilemma. I can’t very well go to her now, and ask what she thinks I should do.
“You might as well put the eggs and bacon away,” Quinn says. “The hostess never has to cook and we have enough food here to feed an army.”
“Or half the hockey team,” Cole says. He reaches in to the cupboard and pulls out a bunch of plates as the women arrange the casserole dishes and remove the covers. “Rider will be pissed that he’s missing out.”
I reach for the silverware, and Jamie comes back from upstairs and stands next to me. “You okay with all this?”
“Absolutely. It’s just been Chase and me for too long. I like your friends, Jamie.”
He lightly touches the small of my back. “Okay, good,” he says, and I have to say, I like the way he checks in on me.
“I can’t say they have good timing, though,” I tease with a grin.
“Come on down for breakfast, kids,” Luke says, from the bottom of the stairs, and it sounds like a of herd of elephants on the ceiling as the hungry crew come running. We plate food up for the kids and set them up in the living room to watch Paw Patrol while they eat. Once they’re settled, we make our plates and sit at the table.
“This all looks amazing,” I say and put a dash of salt on my food.
“Tomorrow morning, breakfast at my place,” Quinn says and point her thumbs at herself. “I am not cooking.”
I scoop some scrambled egg onto my fork and slide it into my mouth. “Mmm, delicious,” I say and note the way Jamie is watching me eat. There’s a hunger in his eyes but it’s not for food. A thrill goes through me. Damn, I love the way he stares, the incredible, confident way he makes me feel about myself.
“It’s daddy/daughter, daddy/son day,” Sam says to me. “That means we’re kid-free for the afternoon. We’re all going antiquing later. We’re hoping you can join us?”
I blink rapidly. “I…I can’t. I have Chase. He doesn’t have…”
All those around the table go quiet, and Sam’s eyes go wide, full of regret. She touches my hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean. I was just thinking Jamie…”
Not wanting anyone uncomfortable, I put on a smile and say, “It’s okay.” I steal a glance at Jamie, who is watching me carefully. My stupid heart beats a little faster as I imagine him stepping into that role. But that’s crazy. I only ever wanted him to be a positive role model for Chase. Not a father.
I think…
“I’ll take him,” Jamie says with a shrug. “I wanted to go fishing this week, so today would be a good day. There’s a stocked lake not too far from here. We’ll catch dinner for everyone.”
“The only thing you’ll catch down at the lake is a bunch of fly bites,” Luke goads.
Jamie, never one to back down, glares at Luke, his eyes narrowing in challenge. “Care to put your money where your mouth is?” he shoots back.
“Damn right,” Luke says. “Whoever catches the biggest bass wins, and the others cook dinner.”
“I think Brandon and I would like to get in on that,” Cole says.
“Scotty and I would too,” Jonah says.
Zander laughs. “It’s not Daisy’s thing, but as long as she doesn’t have to touch any worms, and I buy her a chocolate ice cream, she’ll be happy to come along.”
As the conversation turns back to the contest, the men all start telling tales about past fishing experiences. Beneath the table, Jamie’s hand lands on my leg, and he gives a squeeze.
My gaze goes to him, and I ask, “You sure you don’t mind?”
“Absolutely. Go have fun.”
I smile at him and Jonah says, “Get a room.”
I shake my head as everyone laughs, and we settle in to finish our meals. The guys start talking hockey, naturally, and I turn to Katee. “Are you looking for baby things today?”
“I am. Although I have to get neutral colors. We’re going to wait to find out the baby’s sex.”
“I did that too,” I say and remember back to when Chase was born. Ethan was in the delivery room with me, but Jamie was out in the waiting room, pacing like a crazy man. He was the first to set eyes on his nephew.
“All this talk of pregnancy is making me think,” Quinn says and puts her hand over her stomach.
“I know,” I say and do the same without even realizing it.
“You thinking of giving Chase a brother or a sister?” Quinn asks me.
“I…no…not really. I’d need a guy for that?” I say jokingly, and from my peripheral vision, catch the way Jamie is looking at me.
I turn the conversation back to Katee and her pregnancy as I finish the food on my plate. Soon enough, our bellies are full, and everyone makes their way home to get ready for the day. I take Chase upstairs to get him washed up and dressed for his first fishing expedition in a stocked lake. I coat him with sunscreen and when Jamie pokes his head into the bathroom, I hold the bott
le out to him, “You need this too.”
“Yes, Mom,” he teases and Chase laughs. I give him a scolding glare as he tugs off his shirt, and my gaze instantly drops to take in his striated muscles, many covered by tattoos. My fingers itch to touch him and I grow warm between the legs as I take my time admiring him. He makes a noise and I lift my eyes, catch his smirk.
Busted.
He coats his hands and rubs the lotion over himself, and I help Chase from the counter. “Go find a ballcap to wear,” I say to him. He runs off to his room and Jamie hands me the bottle.
“Would you mind doing my back?”
I squeeze a generous amount on his back and his muscles flex as I rub it in, and cop a feel at the same time. I study his tattoos, and my hands still.
What the hell?
“Jamie…”
“Yeah.”
I touch the name on his back, in such small letters that I never caught it before. I trace the letters and he stiffens, like he knows what I’m about to ask. “Why do you have my name on your back?”
His muscles flex, and relax beneath my fingers. “Because I…because you’re my friend.”
We both go so quiet, I can practically hear my son breathing in the other room. I scan his back, look for Sara’s name, but it’s nowhere to be found. Shocked, touched, and maybe a little confused, I ask, “When did you get this done?”
“A long time ago,” is all he says, and I get the sense he wants to drop the subject.
I go back to rubbing in the lotion and slide my hand down, beneath the band of his shorts to run my palms over his scrumptious ass, and his breathing changes.
“Ah, what are you doing?” he asks.
“Just want to make sure to get all the spots,” I say, and take my hand from his shorts when Chase comes running back to us.
“I don’t want to touch worms,” Chase says and makes a face.
“It’s not so bad, bud,” Jamie informs him, and my heart nearly bursts with the love I have for these two. “Let’s go.” Chase darts down the stairs, and Jamie nods to the bottle of lotion in my hand. “Oh, wait, did you need me to rub this on you anywhere?” he teases and leans in for a kiss. It’s so damn sweet and tender, a wave of warmth wells up inside me, and I nearly lose the ability to stand upright.
What the hell was that?
“Go,” I say, and give him a shove before I fall against him and ask for another kiss just like that one. A kiss so beautiful it could make me forget that were just two people having sex.
God, I have to get my feelings under control.
I shake my head as they take off, and change into a sundress. By the time I comb out my hair and make myself a little more presentable, Quinn pulls into the driveway in her SUV. I head outside, and climb into the back with Katee and Sam, while Nina sits in the passenger seat. The cool air conditioning falls over me as I buckle up. We all make small talk as Quinn drives along the coast until we come to a quaint village I’ve never before explored.
She squeezes the big vehicle between two small cars, and when we climb out, the scorching heat of the day, radiating off the black pavement, falls over me, and I damn near melt.
“Holy hot,” Sam says and tugs on her T-shirt to pull it away from her body.
Katee walks ahead. “Let’s get inside where there’s air conditioning.”
I follow them into the big store, which is full of antiques and oddly enough, smells like warm apple pie. Then I realize why. In the back there is a counter where they sell fudge and homemade goods. Jamie always did love a good apple pie. What am I saying? It didn’t matter if it was apple or not. Jamie simply loves food. I make a note to grab a couple for dinner before heading out.
I find myself gravitating toward a really pretty area rug that would look great in my entrance way, but then I remember I’ll be moving soon. I walk around, touch the aged side tables, dressers, and headboards, but stop when I come to a God-awful dinner gong. It makes me laugh.
“Something funny?” Nina asks as she saunters over.
I smile at her. “This is so cute. Jamie is always hungry. He’s an eating machine. He’s been like that for as long as I’ve known him. If I brought this, he’d know dinner was ready from miles away.”
“Ohmigod, you have to get it,” she says, and checks the price tag. “That’s too funny.”
“I should. He’d get a kick out of it.” The thoughts of putting a smile on Jamie’s face makes me grin. I love seeing him happy, love seeing the old Jamie.
“That was really nice of him to take Chase for the day. You probably haven’t had a break in forever.”
I nod. “He’s a good uncle. He’s good for Chase.”
She goes a bit serious, as I examine the gong. “He seems to be doing so much better, Fallon. We were all pretty worried about him.”
A niggling of guilt settles deep in my stomach. Instead of turning to Jamie in my darkest hour, I ran away. Did that hurt him? After losing his fiancée and baby, I never stopped to think that by running away he was losing me in his time of need too. How could I have been so selfish? But there is a part of me that had to run. I just couldn’t be in that house, couldn’t be in Seattle and around everything that reminded me of Ethan…of Sara. And what if Jamie had been able to read the worries on my face? I’m like an open book to him most times. What if he figured out what was going on inside my brain, the things I suspected were going on between my husband and his fiancée? I couldn’t let him know. I would have left him gutted even more than he already was, and I couldn’t be the one responsible for that. I love him too much.
“He doesn’t say it, but Cole gets the sense that Jamie blames himself for the accident.”
My gaze jerks to hers. “Are you kidding me? None of it was his fault. In fact…” When her eyes narrow, I let my words fall off before I say too much, say something that there’s no coming back from.
“Has he ever said he thought it was his fault?” she asks, real worry in her eyes.
“No, we don’t actually talk about it.” But maybe, maybe in not so many words he did tell me.
I don’t want you to count on me. I’ll just let you down
Is it possible that he really thinks the accident was his fault?
“Why would he think that?”
“Cole’s not sure. It’s just a gut feeling.”
“Guys, come see this,” Katee says, her voice high and excited and with the way my stomach is knotting, I’m grateful for the change in conversation.
“Anyway, I’m here if you ever want to talk, okay?” Nina says, and I give her arm a grateful squeeze.
“Thanks,” I say and wish I could tell her about Sara’s strange phone call, but I don’t want to drag her into any of this when I don’t know what’s going on. Katee calls again and I grab the horrendous gong and we follow her voice and find her and Sam admiring a beautiful crib.
“This is so perfect,” she says.
I run my hand along the white wooden slats, and the strangest sensations go through me. It’s been a long time since I thought about having more children, but all of a sudden I can’t stop thinking about it. Of course, there’s always artificial insemination. Then again, Jamie was excited to be a father, and is amazing with Chase so maybe he’d be onboard…
What the hell am I thinking?
“It’s beautiful,” I say.
“I think I’ll get it and get Luke to come back later to pick it up.”
“Look what I’m getting,” I say and produce the gong.
“That’s hilarious,” Sam says. “They can use it to call us for dinner after they fry all that fish they’re going to catch,” she says and rolls her eyes.
We head to the cash register, and Nina helps me get a few pies, and once we pay for our goods, we make our way outside. We drop the purchases into the back of the SUV and I spot a Starbucks on the corner. “Come on, ladies. Salted caramel lattes on me.”
As we head toward the corner, Katee crinkles her nose in thought and says, “I wonder i
f we should grab a bucket of chicken or something and take it back home. What are the odds the guys will actually catch enough, or any fish, for dinner?”
“It’s a good plan,” Sam says. “Ooh, look,” she says and points to the swim suit store. “I could use a new suit.”
“Same,” Katee says, and rubs her belly. “Think they have maternity?”
“Only one way to find out,” Sam says, and heads inside. I’m about to follow them, when from the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of a woman darting around the corner. A woman who looks an awful lot like Sara.
10
Jamie
“Seriously,” Jonah says and glances at the buckets of chicken, all the side dishes and the pies laid out on the counter. “You guys had so little faith is our hunting and gathering skills?” He raises his hand, palm up and out, displaying mock indignation as Zander and I drop the cooler onto the floor of the kitchen. Fallon looks past my shoulder and smiles. I turn to see all the kids grinning as Luke ushers them inside. I take in Daisy, who is talking a million miles an hour, her purple shirt stained with chocolate ice cream, much like the other three.
“Hunting and gathering skills, my ass,” Quinn says as she plants one hand on her hip. “You had rods, and the lake was stocked.”
“That makes it worse,” Jonah says, incredulous. “In a stocked lake, you still didn’t think we could bring home a few trout for dinner. And for the record I won. My fish was this big.” He holds his hands out wide, and we all laugh as Zander pushes them closer together.
Quinn crinkles her nose. “Well, good for you, but we weren’t sure if the kids would like fish. That’s the only reason we got the food,” she says as she winks at the other women. “Isn’t that right, ladies?” she asks, and Fallon, Sam, Nina and Katee all jump in to her rescue. I smile, loving how the women took Fallon in and bonded with her. Sara was her closest friends, and as far as I know, when she left me, she left Fallon too.
“Nice try.” Jonah opens the cooler to show off our catches. “For that I might not let you have any.”
“Ah, good,” Quinn says as she glances into the cooler at the bloody, headless fish.