by M. S. Parker
“Well, now you can do whatever you want. And so can I. You made that clear.” She lifted her chin. For a moment, just a brief one, I thought I saw something in her eyes.
Sorrow.
Guilt.
Hurt.
I couldn’t tell.
It was gone so fast, then she was too. She climbed into the car, and the driver pulled off with a spray of dust and gravel.
I stared after the car until it was lost from sight, and then, feeling oddly numb, I went inside.
I was done with this.
Friends had told me I couldn’t help her if she wasn’t ready, and maybe I was a slow learner, but I finally got it.
I wasn’t going to sit around wasting my time trying. I wasn’t going to hang around for her to jerk me around again.
I grabbed my wallet and started to shove it into my pocket, only to pause.
Dread filled me when I squeezed it.
Earlier, it was fat with the Benjamin’s I’d put in there, half the cash I had left over. Now, it was almost pathetically thin.
“Camry…” I closed my eyes, hoping against hope.
I had to make myself look inside, even though I already knew what I’d find. Or what I wouldn’t find.
I’d stashed half the money in my wallet, and every last dollar was gone.
Flinging the wallet across the room, I swore. It hit the wall and bounced before falling to the floor. Without waiting a moment, I went to the mattress and hauled it up, searching for the small slit I’d made, and the rest of the money.
It was there.
Thank God.
I wasn’t completely broke.
But what was I going to do…?
It hit me then.
There was only one thing I could do.
One thing.
Twenty-Eight
Piety
The resume in front of me wasn’t coming together.
One of my clients at the shelter was trying to get a job. She had a place to stay as well as childcare, and if she could just get a job, we could make a case with the kid’s social worker.
But the job…I needed to get a resume together so we could practice her interview techniques.
We were so close. Things would get better for her once the last block fell into place.
Normally, this was the part of my job that I loved. Carol had done the hard part, leaving her husband and asking for help. But I couldn’t focus on this task to save my life.
I was distracted. By the dream, by Kaleb, by everything that had been going on in my life.
And I was miserable.
My heart hurt.
Throwing down my pen, I leaned back in my chair and shoved my hair from my face. “Focus,” I told myself. “I’ve got to focus.”
Getting up, I went to the coffee maker.
It had long since gone burnt. Disgusted, I dumped the dregs out and started a fresh pot. At the rate I was going, I wouldn’t be done before midnight anyway, and I definitely didn’t want to sleep.
If I slept, I’d dream about Kaleb again.
Once the coffee was done, I leaned against the counter, sipping the hot brew and coaxing my muddied brain into thinking. All the key info was there – I just had to get it down.
Outside, rain pounded against the window, and thunder crashed. It was a miserable night. Or a great one, depending on who you were with and what you were doing. Astra was out with a guy, probably snuggled up and doing something debauched.
And here I was alone and miserable. The storm was adding to my overall melancholy state, but I tried to block it out. Returning to my desk, I settled down and stared at the laptop.
Carol could do this. She had a solid work background.
She was trying to get on at a daycare, and she had experience with kids.
She’d left the workplace when she had her daughter, but she’d done some volunteering…I could do this.
After a brief mental pep talk, I buckled down.
A half hour later, I was done. The resume wasn’t perfect but it would do.
Now I had nothing left to occupy my time, and it didn’t take long for my thoughts to drift back to Kaleb.
What was he doing?
Had things worked out with Camry?
The phone rang, and I grabbed it, hoping it was something else that might distract me. Man, even my parents.
It was just Carlos, the nighttime doorman for the building.
“Hello, Miss Piety. Lovely weather we’re having, yes?”
I eyed the storm and smiled. “Absolutely, if you like floods. Do you like floods?”
“I like the rain. Are you having a good night?”
“Good enough,” I lied. “And you?”
“Of course. Ma’am…there’s a young man here to see you. I believe he stayed with you and Miss Astra a few nights last week. His name is Kaleb…”
I didn’t even hear the rest of the sentence.
In my rush down to the lobby, I neglected to think about what I was wearing, an oversized men’s shirt that I liked to sleep in. The cool air blowing in through the vents had me shivering, but I wasn’t about to go back upstairs.
When the elevator doors slid open, and I caught sight of him, my heart lurched.
For one moment, everything stopped.
It just stopped.
I stumbled to a halt, my fingers curling into fists so I didn’t reach for him. He was soaking wet, broad shoulders slumped, head hanging low.
“Kaleb.”
At the sound of my voice, he looked up, and I found myself lost in those pale blue eyes.
“Piety,” he said, his voice raw.
“Hi.” I sounded breathless, like I’d run every flight from the loft down here to the lobby. I felt like it too.
“Can we…?” He looked around. “Can we talk?”
“Of course.” I didn’t know what else to say, and I lifted a hand. “Come upstairs.”
He stared at my hand for a moment, and I didn’t realize what he was looking at so intently until the light bounced off the ring. My wedding ring. The one I still hadn’t been able to take off. Slowly, he accepted my hand, and I turned, knees shaking and heart racing.
Giving Carlos a weak smile, I tugged Kaleb into the elevator and pushed the button for the loft. Barely daring to breathe, I closed my eyes.
He still held my hand.
His skin was hot.
Hot and damp from the rain, and I could smell him.
I wanted to peel the clothes away and touch him, kiss him…do all the things I thought I’d never do again.
On the top floor, the elevator stopped, and the doors slid open.
We still hadn’t spoken.
We still held hands.
Moving into the loft, I slowly tugged my hand free and tried to breathe a little deeper. Rain crashed into the windows, and the electricity from the lightning seemed to be gathering inside my loft as well. Tension hummed between us, so hot and erratic, I thought I’d come out of my skin.
I finally went to grab him a towel, handing it to him without meeting his eyes. “Here, why don’t you dry off? You’re soaked to the bone.”
“Yeah.” He gave a cursory rub of his hair and shoulders, then stood there, twisting the towel around his big hands. “I’m sorry, Piety.”
“For which part?”
He looked up then, met my eyes. “I’ve made a mess of things, and I needed to tell you that.”
There was hell in his eyes. Still, as he stood there, watching me, all I could think was…a mess? You call this a mess?
He’d blackmailed my parents, left me without a word…and he wanted to just call it a mess?
I didn’t know what to say, so I just nodded.
He rubbed the towel over his face, then folded it neatly and held it back out to me. I took it, feeling out of place in my own home. Everything felt out of place.
It wasn’t okay.
His sorry wasn’t enough.
But what was I supposed to do?
> He gave me a tight smile. “This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come. I’ll go.”
Just like that?
Without thinking, I threw the towel down and got between him and the door. Reaching up, I touched his cheek. Kaleb froze.
Every muscle in his body locked up, the heat from him searing me through.
“Don’t,” he said roughly. He closed his hand around my wrist, and I could feel my pulse banging against his fingers. “Just…don’t.”
“Don’t what?” I asked. “Don’t want you? Don’t think about you? Don’t ask you to stay?”
A muscle pulsed in his cheek.
“I don’t want you to go.” Pushing up on my toes, I pressed my mouth to the corner of his lips. “Don’t go, Kaleb.”
I would have plastered myself against him, but he caught my upper arms in his hands, held me back.
“I’m soaking wet. We…this isn’t smart.”
“I don’t care. I’m tired of being smart and thinking…I’m tired of wanting you and you not being there.” I twisted my arms out of his grip and reached for him. “No matter what happened, I missed you, Kaleb.”
This time, when I kissed him, he kissed me back, his mouth opening against mine, his tongue sliding out to tease me.
I groaned at his taste, shuddered when he slid his hands down my body. Everything inside me came back to life. Color returned to the world. Everything was alive again.
Hot and frantic kisses led to hot and frantic caresses with the two of us leaning against the door, his hands sliding up under the nightshirt I wore.
When he found me naked, he groaned and swore. “Damn, are you telling me you’ve been naked under this the whole time?”
He kissed me again, his fingers playing over bare skin. “You came downstairs naked. We’ve been standing here talking, and you’re naked. I just can’t…”
He went to his knees, and I bit my lip, bracing myself as he pressed a kiss to my knee, the middle of my thigh, my hip.
When he slid his tongue between my folds, I twisted my fingers in his hair and swore, pleasure ripping through me.
“Come for me, Piety.” He teased and licked, nipped and nuzzled, slipping two fingers inside me and twisting them, working me closer and closer.
“Come…”
I did, and he didn’t wait for me to float back down before he rose, tearing at his jeans.
I stared at him, half blind as he freed his cock. I reached out and wrapped my hand around him.
Kaleb groaned and moved into my touch. When I did it again, he reached up and braced one hand on the door by my head, the biceps bulging.
He closed his other hand around mine, tightening my grip and pumping into my hand, hard and fast. “That is one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen,” he said, his voice rough. “I could fucking come all over you.”
“Do it, I wouldn’t care.”
“I’d rather come in you.” He kissed me and then let go of my hand, catching my hips and boosting me up. “Hold on.”
I gasped as he filled me, deep and hard. Then he caught my wrists and stretched them over my head, leaving my weight balanced on his cock and hips.
“I’ve never wanted anybody the way I want you. You’re like a drug.” Kaleb shuddered as he skimmed his lips across my cheekbone. “My drug.”
“You’re mine.” I tugged against his hold, but all he did was stroke his thumb across my skin. I felt completely surrounded, completely filled by him. He stretched me and filled me, and finally, that horrible emptiness began to fade away. “Don’t leave me again, okay?”
“I won’t.”
He kissed me, a deep, seeking kiss.
Each thrust had him dragging back and forth against my clitoris, the sensation so painfully sweet. I hung on the edge of climax almost from the first touch, but Kaleb wouldn’t let me fall over, instead dragging it out.
The silk of my night shirt drag back and forth over my nipples, taunting me. Everything became pleasure.
Kaleb caught my lower lip between his teeth, drawing it out before letting it go to kiss me again.
I pulled against his hold, and he finally released my hands so I could cling to him. He boosted me higher, changing the angle of my hips and it was too much. I came hard and fast, but just when I thought it was over, he started to come, and the pulsations of his cock set me off all over again.
It was unending.
It was amazing.
It was stupid.
Twenty-Nine
Kaleb
We lay on the couch. Piety was warm against me, and I rubbed my chin against her hair. It was soft as the silk nightshirt she still wore. I knew more about silk after a few days with her than I’d learned in my entire life.
“Is Astra going to walk in here and find me laying naked on her couch?” I asked.
We had a throw covering us, or mostly. But I really didn’t want her best friend finding us like this.
“Not a chance. She’s with a guy.” Piety stretched against me, and the feel of her sleek body rubbing against me like that had my cock stirring. I was tempted to roll her over and take her again, but things had to be said first.
Before I could lose my nerve, I shifted around on the couch and pushed up onto my elbow. Her eyes were big and sleepy, her face still flushed from sex.
My heart clenched, just looking at her.
“We should talk.”
Her smile was soft, sadness clinging to it. “That’s what we’ve been doing. You came up here to talk.”
“No.” Stroking my thumb over her lower lip, I sighed. “I’m serious. There’s…more. I should have told you this before.”
Her eyes cooled slightly, and I braced myself for the rejection I suspected was coming.
“If this is about my parents,” she said, voice level, almost…gentle. “I already know what you did. I mean, was I not going to find out?”
“What I did?” I asked.
Well, that answered a lot of questions. I’d spent the past week wondering what they told her. Her calls had gone from worried to agitated and then to…careful. There had been no emotion in the last message she had left for me and that careful lack of emotion had managed to convey quite a bit.
I’d known her parents wouldn’t have been honest and confessed to what they’d done. Considering how things already were between them and their daughter, they’d be particularly careful about how they handled this.
And now here I was, throwing a wrench in it.
“Come off it, Kaleb.” She eased away from me and sat up. “I understand. I really do. I was trying to get things together to help you out anyway, and if I had been upfront and honest, you wouldn’t have been so desperate. But don’t try to make this into anything other than what it was.”
She’d been what…?
I pushed that aside, climbing off the couch and grabbing my jeans. They were still wet, but I pulled them on anyway.
Piety had smoothed her shirt down and now sat studying me with studied casualness. “We can get past it. We really can. But, just…don’t.”
Some of the frustration I was feeling dissolved.
She’d let it go, I realized. She would let it all go. Her heart was amazing. I went to her and cupped her face. “I’m losing a little bit more of myself to you all the time,” I said against her lips.
I thought about staying quiet, just keeping it all inside.
A small selfish part of me thought I should do just that, enjoy what time I had, while I could.
But she’d never been anything but honest with me.
I could do no less with her.
“I don’t know what they told you I did, but your parents paid me to leave town, Piety. They said if I signed the annulment papers and left, agreeing not to talk to you, they’d give me money – cash. It was everything I needed to take care of Camry.”
Shock danced across her features.
Here it comes…now she’ll push me away…
“What?”
“Their
lawyer came to see me,” I said, that familiar feeling of exhaustion bearing down on me again. Sighing, I tugged her in and kissed her forehead, then let her go, turning away to pace over to the window. The storm had blown over, but it was still raining, a cold, steady drizzle that blotted everything out. Staring into the rain, I said, “You and Astra were gone. This lawyer shows up…Stuart Rushmore.”
Even his name disgusted me, but I kept my voice flat.
“He came here and told me that he wanted to talk to me, said he could help me.” Turning back to her, I shrugged. “He said he was a friend of yours. It wasn’t until I’d already let him in that he clarified and said he was actually your parents’ lawyer. Then he laid out the deal. And I…took it.”
“That’s why you haven’t returned my calls.” She swallowed, her gaze falling to the floor.
“I felt ashamed and I’d given my word. It means something to me. I don’t have much, but that’s one of the few things I do have.” I looked around her loft, evidence of how little it had meant in the end. “Or had. I’m here now.”
“And why are you here?”
“Because. There’s nothing left. I spend the last money to buy a ticket back here.” That sounded…awful.
I then told her what happened with Camry, and she came to me, wrapping her arms around me. I hugged her back, desperately. “I’ve messed it all up, and everything’s just fucked. But all I can think about is you and how much I miss you and how much I wish I hadn’t left. So, I came back, praying you would see me and understand. Forgive me. I know all this sound terrible selfish, and I supposed it is, but you’re all I have left. My last hope.”
She eased back, staring up at me for the longest time.
I felt frozen, unable to do anything.
Then, slowly, she kissed my forehead. Each of my cheeks. My chin.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ve been so angry at you these past few weeks, and it wasn’t totally your fault. It was my parents manipulating you like they’ve done so many others. And I should have known.”
“Don’t apologize to me.” I stroked my hand up her back, my fingers passing over each bump of her spine. “I made the fucked up decision to take the deal and leave.”