“Be right there.” Christ. “Sorry, babe.”
“Wait, are you sure about Vera?”
“Of course I’m sure.” He pulled her close and shifted his eyes to Mark, who was standing at the bottom of the stairs with his back to them. “I’m sure of you, too.”
Chapter Fifteen
“NOT QUITE THE Boston Symphony Orchestra, is it?” Vera smoothed her long black skirt and patted her hair. She and Jessica had driven to the harbor together. It was almost eight o’clock and they, along with the other musicians in Vera’s quartet, were preparing for their show.
There were only a handful of people seated in the metal chairs waiting for them to begin. Jessica had been watching the parking lot, waiting for Jamie to arrive. She knew that the girls were having drinks down the street at the Bookstore Restaurant with their significant others, and they’d be there any minute.
“It’s better than the symphony in many ways,” she answered Vera.
“How so?” Vera asked.
“Well, for one thing, Jamie will be here, so that makes it a million times better.” She inhaled deeply. “And this is so comfortable, Vera. Don’t you think so? With the breeze coming off the sea and children playing behind us. It’s casual and much less stressful. Although I have to admit that my heart is going crazy. I’m not sure why I’m so nervous.”
Vera touched her arm. “It’s because you care. You’re an accomplished musician, and when you play, every note carries a piece of you with it.”
Vera truly understood, and it made her realize that she would miss the camaraderie of her musician friends if she didn’t return to the orchestra, and she did sort of miss having people around who understood the pressures of a musician’s lifestyle.
A little boy darted past the tent and Vera laughed. “I miss little ones.”
“I’m sorry about your daughter, Jamie’s mother. That must have been very difficult for your whole family.”
Vera dropped her eyes for a beat. Her eyes were warm when she met Jessica’s gaze again. “Yes, it was beyond difficult when we lost our daughter, but I had Jamie to focus on. I think there is only one thing that could be worse than losing my child.” Vera watched the children play for a moment, then brought serious eyes back toward Jessica. “If I had never had her in the first place. I would have missed out on all those wonderful years that we had together. Nothing can replace time spent with family.”
Vera paused, looking into the distance with a sorrowful gaze. “Do you hope to have a family some day?”
“Before this summer, I didn’t have time to think about what I wanted. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking lately. I do want a family one day, but I have a lot of decisions to make before that can happen.”
“Oh, I have faith in you.” Vera squeezed her arm. “You’ll figure everything out.”
They settled into their chairs.
“Try not to be too nervous tonight. We’re like family now. And as far as making your decisions goes, you’ll know the right thing to do. Sometimes the heart tells us things in whispers, and we miss them. When we’re ready, we hear them loud and clear.”
Jessica loved the words Vera chose. Sometimes the heart tells us things in whispers, and we miss them. She wondered how many whispers she’d missed in her life—or if she’d missed any at all. Thinking about what Vera had said, she assumed that one day she’d know that answer—she’d hear it loud and clear.
She looked into the sparse audience. Her Seaside friends were all there, except Jamie. Jessica closed her eyes as they began to play, trying not to focus on missing him. The music carried her worries away. After they were done playing the first piece, Jessica opened her eyes and was immediately drawn to the dark-haired man in the second row, wearing a dark blue tee and gazing right through her. Jamie. My Jamie. She was so happy to see him, and he looked so proud of her. He was sitting beside Mark, whom she suddenly realized looked a lot like the actor Peter Gallagher.
Jamie blew her a kiss as they began playing the next piece, and Mark shook his head. She closed her eyes again, choosing to ignore Mark’s head shake and soaking up the comfort of having Jamie nearby. She allowed herself to get swept into the vibrations of the cello, the higher notes of the violin, and the energy of the musical piece.
By the time they finished playing for the evening, the children were gone from the playground and the metal chairs were nearly full. The audience clapped and lingered, talking to the musicians, asking questions, and telling them how lovely they played. Jessica’s friends from Seaside hugged her and Vera and doled out accolades that made her head spin. As the crowd thinned and Jessica began putting her cello in its case, Jamie and Mark finally joined her.
Jamie handed her a bouquet of white and pink roses and kissed her cheek. “You were incredible. You’re so beautiful when you play. It’s as if the music is a part of you.”
“Thank you. These are so pretty.”
“Pink, for your graceful elegance when you play, and white, for our new beginning.”
The roses were gorgeous, but it was the thoughtfulness of the color roses he’d chosen and the meaning behind them that made her swoon like a schoolgirl.
Jamie drew her into his arms and kissed her.
“Jesus. I am right here, you know.” Mark turned away, crossing his arms over his chest.
Jessica stepped back, feeling her cheeks pink up. “I’m sorry.” She turned to finish putting her instrument away as Jamie and Mark joked around about their kiss.
“Babe, I’m going to help Vera with her violin. I’ll be right back.” He turned to Mark. “Behave yourself.”
“Me? I’m not the one playing tonsil hockey.” Mark laughed as Jamie walked away.
Hearing them joke with each other made Jessica feel a little better. Maybe Mark wasn’t as crass as the girls thought.
“You were good,” Mark said in a hushed tone as his eyes darted around the tent. Their friends were gathered just a few feet away.
“Thank you.”
“Working for the BSO is an important job,” he said in a voice that sent an icy chill down Jessica’s spine. Gone was the joking smile he’d flashed so easily when Jamie was with them, replaced with a manipulative look in his eyes, even as they jumped from person to person, to the beach across the street, and to the tennis courts to their right—everywhere but where she stood.
“Yes. It is.”
“You know who Jamie is, right? Of course you do.” He moved closer to her, pressed his shoulder to hers as she closed her cello case. “You also probably know that he needs to focus on his billion-dollar business and all this playing around is just that. Playing around.”
Stunned into silence, Jessica held her breath.
“Jamie’s not a knight in shining armor. He’s not going to swoop you off your feet and make everything in your world flowers and bunnies.”
She froze, unable to think. Her limbs trembled, and it was all she could do to grab the edge of the table to remain erect.
“Jamie Reed can have any woman he wants,” he said in a low growl. “You’re no different from any of the others he’s been with, no matter how pretty you are. He needs to focus, and unless you want to be the cause of his empire’s demise, I suggest you back off.”
Ohgodohgodohgod. She couldn’t even begin to process the things he’d said. You’re no different from any of the others…Back off.
“Smile pretty. Here comes Mr. Reed.”
Jessica couldn’t face Jamie. She couldn’t move at all. She felt his hand on her hip. His cheek brushed hers and she closed her eyes.
“Hey, babe. The gang’s going out for drinks. Want to go?”
She opened her mouth, but no words came. The world was spinning out of control, draining her of her strength. She felt dizzy and reached for Jamie’s hand.
“Babe?” Jamie whispered.
“She’s probably tired. Come on. Let’s go grab a few hours of fun before I go back to the Sheraton.” Mark grabbed Jamie’s arm.
; “Hold up.” Jamie shrugged him off and moved around Jessica so he was facing her.
She kept her eyes trained on the ground. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. If she looked at him, she’d cry.
“Babe, are you okay?”
She nodded. “Just…not feeling too well.”
“Then we’ll stay in. We don’t have to go,” Jamie assured her.
“I’m here for one night and you’re going to blow me off?” Mark’s voice was light and carefree, as if he hadn’t just shattered Jessica’s world.
“You’re a big boy, Mark. I think you can handle a night alone,” Jamie said.
“Go,” she whispered.
“What, babe?” Jamie leaned closer.
“Go with him. I’ll be fine. I’m just tired.” And I need to think about what Mark said.
“I’ll stay with you. We can relax, go to bed early.” Jamie’s voice was laden with concern, and love, and all the things that had made her fall for him in the first place.
Even if Mark was just trying to scare her off, there had to be a reason. You’re no different from any of the others he’s been with, no matter how pretty you are. He needs to focus, and unless you want to be the cause of his empire’s demise, I suggest you back off. As much as she didn’t care about the other women he’d dated, Mark’s words still stung, and she did worry about taking Jamie away from his work. Hadn’t she done enough of that? Wasn’t that why Mark was there and why Jamie’s company was in the situation it was in?
She managed a glance at Mark, who shook his head the slightest bit, which she read clearly as, Back off. Stop monopolizing his time. Just enough of a sign for her to feel it like a knife to her heart.
“No, go with Mark. I’m fine.” I need to think. She’d been putting off making her own decisions, too. Maybe this was fate. Maybe this was the whisper Vera was talking about, and she should open her ears and listen.
“Are you sure, Jess? I don’t mind.” Jamie lifted her chin and searched her eyes.
She tried to smile, reached out and touched his stomach. She loved him so much it hurt. She nodded.
“I hate to leave you,” Jamie said quietly.
Mark turned a way-too-comfortable smile in her direction. She swallowed the bile that rose in her throat.
“Jessica, do you need Jamie to stay with you tonight? If you do, hey, I’ll back off. Who am I to come between two lovebirds?” He held his arms up in surrender.
“I’m fine. Go. I’ll take Vera home.”
Jamie folded her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. “You sure you’re okay to drive?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. I’ll come by afterward if you’re not asleep.”
It was all she could do to nod her head.
Chapter Sixteen
THERE WAS A time when hanging out at the Beachcomber would be a five-hour, enjoyable affair, but Jamie had been there for two hours with Mark and his other friends, and it felt like two hours too long. He’d tried texting and calling Jessica, but her phone went to voicemail.
“Why don’t you go see how she’s doing?” Bella asked. “And tell her I’m totally bummed that she’s sick, and that we’ll table our chunky-dunking for another night.”
“Hey, hey, hey.” Mark tapped the table. “Let the man enjoy life a little. He needs to blow off some steam.”
Blow off steam? That was the last thing he needed to do. How had he ever overlooked all the things about Mark that were rubbing him the wrong way? What he needed was to know that Jessica was okay. He never should have left her in the first place.
He glanced around the table at his friends. Caden and Bella were forehead to forehead, whispering. Leanna was sitting on Kurt’s lap, as she almost always was, and Jenna was dragging Pete onto the dance floor. Pete rolled his eyes in Jamie’s direction, but the light in Pete’s eyes gave away the truth. He was so in love with Jenna that he’d do anything for her. Amy was texting someone, probably her new beau, Jake, and Tony hadn’t even come out tonight. Self-preservation, he’d told Jamie. Jamie hadn’t bothered to ask what he’d meant by that. And then there was Mark, eyeing every woman in the place.
What the hell was he doing here? He should be with Jessica. He didn’t want a drink, and he certainly didn’t want to dance without her. Hell, he needed to be with her, and he could tell by the look in her eyes earlier that she’d needed him just as badly as he needed her. But, as usual, he’d allowed himself to be swayed by Mark.
Enough was enough.
Jamie pushed away from the table. “I’m taking off. Mark, thanks for driving out tonight. Are you okay to drive back to your hotel?”
Mark waved a dismissive hand, avoiding Jamie’s gaze. “Yeah, fine, fine.”
Amy eyed Jamie. “Can you give me a ride back?”
“Sure.” He draped an arm around Amy and said goodbye to the others.
“You okay, Ames?” he asked on the way to the car.
“Yeah. This is just a weird summer.” Amy was like a sister to Jamie. As much as he didn’t want to get involved with whatever was or wasn’t going on between her and Tony, he could tell by the drag of her voice that she needed an ear to bend.
“Tony?” Of course it was about him.
Amy shrugged.
He opened the car door for her, then settled into the driver’s seat. “What’s happening with Jake?”
“Jake.” She smiled and rested her head back. “He’s amazing. Did I tell you he’s a mountain rescue guy? Really rugged and sexy. He’s so nice, and always a gentleman.” She turned and looked at Jamie with a sigh. “He’s also twenty-eight and probably way too wild for me in the long run.”
Jamie took the back roads up toward Seaside. “Too wild?” He glanced at Amy. Her head was still back, and her hair hung straight, past her shoulders. She wore a pair of white shorts and a pretty blue crinkled cotton top. Her skin was tanned and flawless. She was smart and generous to a fault. He had no idea why she was still single. Then again, he had no idea why Jessica was still single either.
“I’m wild, don’t get me wrong. I’m a fun-loving girl, even if I’m not as loud about it as everyone else,” Amy assured him.
“Oh, I know you are,” he said with an arched brow. She was about as wild as a lily.
She swatted his arm. “I am! I may not be able to hold my liquor, or be as dirty mouthed as Bella, but I am wild in my own way.”
“Amy, is that what you think guys want? Wild women?” He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with Amy, but she was so damned sweet, she’d get eaten alive if she told men she was wild—even if she had a secret wild side like Jessica did.
“Well, don’t they?” She furrowed her brow and spoke softly. “Jamie, I know I’m the good girl of the group. I can’t help it. I just am. But, you know, all women have other sides to them.”
“Amy, you are sweet, and yes, you’re a good girl, and smart, funny, beautiful. You’re everything the right guy will look for. Guys talk about wanting wild women, but those aren’t the women they marry. Those are like, I don’t know, something to say you’ve had.”
She covered her face with her hands and groaned as they pulled into Seaside. “So then it’s just hopeless. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be, but obviously being me isn’t working out so well in the guy department.”
Jamie parked the car and turned to Amy. “Amy, I’ve got to be honest with you. If Jessica was a wild woman in public, I’d never have dated her, and I highly doubt Caden, or Kurt, or Pete would have gotten serious with Bella, Leanna, or Jenna if they had been either. Bella’s not wild; she’s brazen. There’s a difference. At the end of the day, she’s stable, loving, and head over heels for Caden and Evan. Younger guys like wild. Guys our age like to keep our wild moments with our women private, and I think wild’s the totally wrong word. I can’t speak for all men, but I think most guys want a woman who’s not afraid of taking control in the bedroom or to be seductively sexy when you’re on a date. You know what I mean—privately passionate,
but even keeled the rest of the time. Flirty with us, maybe, but just us. No guy wants to worry about what his woman’s doing when he’s not around.”
“Really? You’re not just saying that because it’s me?”
Her eyes were so serious and her words were so full of worry that he reached out and hugged her. “You are amazing just as you are. The right guy is going to come along, and you’ll realize that all this worry was for nothing. Amy, is this all about Tony, or did Jake make you feel this way?”
She sighed. “No. It’s about me. I’m always the friend, never the girlfriend. Do you know that I can count the men I’ve been intimate with on one hand? Lame, right?”
He thought of Jessica and how good it had felt when they’d finally come together—and the conflicting emotions of her having been with only one other man. She’d given herself over to him so completely, and continued to on a daily basis. The fact that she’d waited until it felt right to be with a man made everything about her that much more special. Some women used sex for power, others to make up for whatever daddy love they never received. Jessica had waited because in her heart it had felt like the right thing to do, and Jamie respected that because he’d done the same thing with his feelings. He’d kept them trapped inside him until the right woman came along. And he had no doubt that Jessica was that woman.
“Honestly, Amy, I think it speaks volumes about your self-worth. That’s a good thing. Don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise.” He came around the car and opened her door.
Amy wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. “You’re such a good friend, Jamie. Thank you for not telling me I’m a loser.”
He laughed. “You’re not a loser, and don’t worry. The right man will love you just as you are.”
“I keep hoping the right man will realize that I’m the right woman.” She shifted her eyes to Tony’s cottage.
After making sure Amy got inside okay and then checking on Vera, who was fast asleep, Jamie grabbed clean clothes, penned a note for Vera telling her he’d be back in the morning, and headed over to Jessica’s apartment.
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