“Too much, Lord. You’ve taken too much this time,” she sobbed.
“Up! I wan’ up.” The little girl lifted her arms, pushing out of China’s grasp.
“No, baby. Stay here.”
“But I wan’ up.”
Someone lifted Kyrie out of China’s arms. He pulled her off the floor at the same time. She stabbed a hand in her hair and pushed the thick curtain out of her eyes, prepared to face Fire Marshall Garth Burton’s kindly face. He had been fire marshal for years. Gray-haired and kindhearted, he had seen it all and knew it all, from whose boys ditched school regularly to whose daughters ran around with the wrong boys.
Only the man tugging her into his arms wasn’t him.
“Oh, my God! Maverick!” She hit the solid wall of his chest with all she had, needing to feel him in her arms right damned now. “I thought you were dead. You’re not. You’re alive!”
He buried his sooty face in her neck while he gathered her under his arm. “Thank God, you’re safe,” he ground out, shuddering, his voice raw and gruff. “I was so damned scared when I didn’t see you outside with X and Z.”
China eased back enough to run her fingers over his dirty, sweat-covered cheeks. His signature cap and glasses were gone. He smelled strongly of smoke and ash, but she didn’t care. He and Kyrie were safe.
She burrowed into his arms and wept. Nothing had ever hurt like this before, not even when her father died. That was natural. This was murder.
Kyrie cried along with her. So far Leezel had yet to make an appearance, but China didn’t care. Not one bit. But wait. She pushed back from Maverick again. “Where’s my sister? Have you seen her?”
He shook his head, but his eyes held a terrible secret. Her heart lurched. Had Leezel gone to the barn for a smoke? Did she start the fire with one of her damned cigarettes? Was she the cause of the flames, or worse, was she lost in them? Was that the secret?
China writhed to get out of his arms, but he wouldn’t let her go, and she didn’t have the strength to resist. “But I’ve got to find her,” she whined as he held her tight.
“You stay with Kyrie.” He nodded upstairs. “Which room?”
China blinked at that very real possibility. Could Leezel have slept through this whole thing? “First door on the right.”
Maverick shifted Kyrie into China’s arms and cleared the staircase three steps at a time. He didn’t knock, but he was only in Leezel’s room for a second before he emerged, nodding, his face grim. “She’s in bed. Drunk. Passed out.”
China sagged against him at that good, ugly news. Her sister might be a drunk, but at least she was a live drunk. Someone pounded on China’s door. Maverick eased her and Kyrie to the couch and answered it.
Fire Marshall Garth Burton nodded somberly from the doorway. “Miss China home?”
“Yes, sir.” Maverick gestured for him to enter.
He came in and crouched beside her at the couch. “I’m sure sorry, China. The fire is out now. Do you know how it started?”
His sympathy stabbed her. She couldn’t meet his kind eye. Poor Gorgeous. Poor, poor baby China Love. “We were sleeping and—”
“Your ranch hands said you had trouble with Reardon’s boys last night. You think they’re behind this?”
She ran a tired hand through her hair, not sure what she thought at the moment. “I... I don’t know. I didn’t hear anything.”
He cocked his head suspiciously. “Your sister around?”
“Yes. She’s upstairs, sleeping.”
Garth rolled his eyes. “What? She drunk again?”
China nodded. There was no need to explain. Garth knew what little Leezel contributed to the operation of the ranch, and the Wolf family, for that matter. He reached out and patted Kyrie’s curly head, a somber glint in his eye. “Your barn’s a total loss. Sure you already knew that. I’m sorry.”
She choked, pulling Kyrie in closer. Sorry was such a worthless word.
“At least you got your horses out.”
China blinked hard and fast. It hurt to correct Garth’s false notion that she had saved any of her kids. “But... I didn’t.”
“You don’t know?” Garth looked at Maverick. “You need to tell her, son.” With that, he replaced his fire helmet and walked out the door.
Maverick’s grip stiffened on her arms. China turned to him as she wiped the sudden onslaught of tears away. “Tell me what?”
He shook his head even as he looked to the floor. “I got all of them out, but—”
All out? Her heart nearly leapt for joy, but she saw that terrible secret flit through his eyes again. She couldn’t be happy. Not yet. She held her breath. He had more to tell.
Had he saved them only to have them turn in panic and roar back into the fire? Were they badly burned? Were they smoldering corpses? She eased Kyrie out of her arms and lifted to her feet to face what could only be more bad news. She clutched his biceps. “But what?”
He choked back a growl. “I couldn’t get to her, China. I tried. But Gorgeous and...”
She blinked. “Gorgeous? Why not?”
He stepped away from her and Kyrie. “I didn’t save them.”
Why not? Of all her kids, had he just told her only two were lost? Had he just said that Star, Joker, and Ebony were safe, but not Gorgeous and China Love? Had he let Gorgeous die? Her mind couldn’t process the information fast enough.
He turned toward the door. “I’m sorry. I... I never should’ve come. I never should’ve stayed. I need to go.” But instead of leaving he sank to the floor, his elbows to his knees and his face buried in his hands.
Kyrie wiggled off the couch and went to him. She laid her head on his broad back, her arms stretched wide as she tried to hug him. “I reawy sowwy. I here. I sowwy.”
Those strong shoulders shuddered, and China couldn’t bear it anymore. She crumbled to his side. She cupped his chin and made him look at her. She had to hear the words. “Where’s Star? Where’s Joker? Please tell me. Are they all—”
“Safe. Only Gorgeous and her foal... God,” he ground out. “I couldn’t get to them.”
She blinked as that terrible truth hit home. She hadn’t lost them all. Only Gorgeous and China Love. Only the best brood mare on the ranch. Only the pretty baby Maverick had helped into the world. Only—
God! She closed her eyes to stop the storm of anguish in her head. Most of her kids were safe. Only two were lost. She gulped. Not all. Only two, yes, but those two—
But Maverick and Kyrie are alive. I didn’t lose them.
She clutched his head to her shoulder. “God, Maverick. I’m sorry.”
He pushed her away, but China refused to let him go. Now she understood. He must’ve been in the barn when the fire broke out. He had done all he could, and he had done it alone. It had to have been a frightening nightmare, him against the inferno and all those panicked horses.
She burrowed into him until he had no choice but to hold her. Unbearable pain surged up through her chest for the two she had lost, but God, it could’ve been so much worse. It could’ve been him in that fire. Or X and Z.
Kyrie shoved her little backside into his arms, and together they sat in a sad heap on the floor and cried.
“How?” China finally thought of a word she could actually speak.
“I... I heard something... someone behind the barn.” Maverick rubbed the back of his head. When he looked at his hand, China finally saw the blood on his fingers. And the burns.
“You’re hurt.” That did it. Her common sense kicked in. She pulled him off the floor and dragged him and Kyrie into the kitchen and made them sit at her table. Cookies and milk. That’s what Kyrie liked so that’s what China did. She poured two tall glasses of cold milk and placed the rest of the chocolate chip cookies on two plates on the table. One for Maverick. One for Kyrie. The simple, routine act seemed surreal, but China was running on automatic.
Once the treat was served, she turned her attention to the gash at the back of his hea
d. Without asking if she could touch him, she gently fingered the swollen, bloody bump. He flinched. “Someone hit you. Hard. You need stitches.”
Ice. He needs ice on that bump. Within minutes, she had a cold compress on his poor head.
His shoulders slumped.
She leaned around him to peer into his face. “Am I hurting you? Are you okay? Do you feel dizzy or anything?”
He stared at the cookies and milk in front of him. “I heard someone laughing. It sounded like—”
“What did they hit you with?” China interrupted, only half-listening as she dabbed at his head. The size of the bruised bump and the gash concerned her. Stitches were one thing. A concussion was something else. He might need to be seen by a doctor.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I stepped out the back door and everything went black.”
“Did you tell Garth this?”
“The fire chief? Yeah.” Maverick nodded. “I told him everything. By the time I came to, the north end of the barn roof was on fire, and the horses were frantic. I ran in.”
He huffed out a big sigh. “I opened every stall and yelled my guts out, but I couldn’t get... I couldn’t get...” A tremor jerked through him. Maverick covered his eyes with one hand. “I should’ve gone to them first. I couldn’t... God, I didn’t save them, either.”
China wiped her eyes, her jaw clenched tight against the pain she would have to learn to live with. Them. Gorgeous and China Love. He had saved all of her kids, but—them.
She brushed her tears away as her only way forward crystallized. What happened wasn’t Maverick’s fault. Heck, she could’ve lost all of her horses if it hadn’t been for him. But she’d heard the telling word, too. Either.
Somehow, this loss was connected to another loss, one that still tortured him. This poor man was so damned broken. The last thing he needed was another regret in his life, and she refused to let him have it.
She leaned against his bicep and parted his hair while she carefully cleansed the wound. Damn it, she needed to see what she was doing. The light was better if she leaned in close, and, oh hell. This man needed a lifeline, and she meant to toss him one. Better yet, she meant make damned sure the stubborn fool grabbed hold of it whether he wanted to or not.
Bad things happened in life. That’s just the way it was. She would survive this godawful tragedy and so would he. She blew out a breath and gave him what he needed to hear. “Well, you’re still alive. Kyrie, too. That’s all that matters to me. I can replace my horses, but I could never replace you two.”
He trembled. For a moment, she thought she had been too rough with her cleaning, that she had hurt him—until his arm circled her waist. He pulled her in close, his face pressed against her stomach. He sucked up a deep breath, and groaned into her nightshirt.
She stopped worrying about his head. His heart needed something more. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered into the top of his sweaty hair. “I know you loved that baby as much as I did. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you save her and her mother.”
He choked.
“But loosing you would’ve hurt me so much worse.” She kissed the crown of his head and rested her cheek there. “I can rebuild my barn, but you’ve come to mean a lot to me these last few days. I hope you understand that.”
She meant it with every beat of her heart. This moody, somber man had saved her life and now most of her kids. China clutched Maverick to her, her fingers gentle in his hair and her own tears uncontainable.
Kyrie slid off her chair and clung to China’s leg, whimpering. China could absorb her heartbreak for kittens lost, but the pain grinding out of Maverick seemed so much darker. So much deeper.
His shoulders shuddered. He mashed his face farther into her nightshirt. She wrapped her body around him as his torment eked out. It wasn’t the wailing whine of a woman. No. The misery that wretched out of Maverick growled. It shuddered like a terrible beast kept caged and deprived too long. Finally let loose, it struggled out of him in ragged spasms.
All she could do was cry with him while he fell apart.
Chapter Fifteen
I hate everything.
Maverick sat by himself on China’s porch step and stared at the smoking carcass of the barn. He thought he had escaped misery when he left Afghanistan behind, but here it was again, stalking him like a fire-breathing dragon. It didn’t matter where he went or how far he walked, the beast still lashed out and burned every shred of his soul away with one belching breath. It could reach him and it always smelled the same. Smoke. Ash. Charred bodies. Death.
X and Z hadn’t even known he had slept in the barn with the horses, much less that he had safely rescued them. Well, almost all of them. The white one and her baby weren’t so lucky. He couldn’t even think their names, much less say them out loud.
At least China hadn’t been there to hear their death screams. He groaned, shaking with restraint as he tried to maintain his thin hold on composure. The horrible loss of that beautiful mare and her brand new baby was one more ugly thing to live with. With his baseball cap on his head, the brim pulled low, and his Oakleys firmly in place, he had a fairly solid wall erected, at least until Zeke Knudsen strolled to the porch and sat down beside him.
Damned friendly old man.
Z placed a gnarled hand on Maverick’s knee. “You doin’ okay, son?”
He seemed to be a nice enough older guy, but Maverick didn’t want company or friendship. They got a guy into trouble. The second a man started to care about others, shit happened. He turned away. The road called his name, loud and clear. He never should’ve come back to the Wild Wolf, much less stayed this long. All he had brought was pain and death. It followed him everywhere. China deserved better. Kyrie, too.
I need to leave.
“That was a mighty fine thing you did for Miss China last night, saving her horses like you did. You’re dang lucky you didn’t get yerself killed.”
Maverick steeled his heart against the old codger’s attempt to forgive. China had bandaged his burned hands last night, but he’d torn the bandages off the moment he left the ranch house. She wanted him to get stitches, but he refused that, too. He had been hurt a helluva lot worse and in more disgusting ways than she would ever know. No. There would be no forgiving today.
An old yellow dog appeared out of nowhere. It trotted along China’s gravel driveway toward the ranch.
That’s me. A stray. A mutt. Smart enough to stay alive for whatever that’s worth, but not smart enough to know when to leave. Kick me. Beat me. Throw me a bone now and then. Just don’t get too close. I’m not worth the trouble.
“Sure gonna be a big job rebuilding.”
Maverick heard the clever hint loud and clear, but he ignored the veiled invitation to stay on and help. The thought smacked of permanence, and he wasn’t looking for that. Not now. Maybe never. Give it up, old man.
He grunted his usual noncommittal answer to life in general and watched the stupid dog. It had its nose in a gopher hole alongside the road. Or something just as useless. Any minute now, the dumb dog would take off and never be seen again like the mongrel it was. He wished it luck and planned to follow its lead. Anywhere else was better than there.
“The fire marshal thinks it was arson.”
No shit. Maverick tensed. Of course it was arson, but knowing someone had deliberately set this fire only created more problems, because now he wanted to strike out. He wanted to hurt that someone for hurting China and Kyrie. He wanted that someone to suffer like... like Gorgeous had suffered. He wanted them to scream like poor China Love.
God. He could still hear that sweet baby’s panicked squeals. She had cried! God damn it! She cried. Maverick put two fingers to the temple that hurt the worst because he couldn’t reach his heart. Nothing could. Never again. It hurt too damned bad!
Worse, he knew what he had heard. The whine of a Harley. Leezel laughing just before he got knocked unconscious. The Kings and Kreepers on the loose. He told Fire Chief Bur
ton—he just couldn’t bring himself to tell China. Not yet.
And damned if he knew how Reardon got Leezel to help commit such a godawful crime against her sister. But he had, the pig. And then she must’ve taken something to make her sleep, sealing her alibi. Making her look innocent. Yes, Leezel had been sound asleep in her room when Maverick checked on her whereabouts, but he knew what he’d heard.
Z sighed heavily. “Reardon done this. He’s been trying to get back at Miss China ever since Leezel left him. That boy’s ten kinds a mean with a fifth of ugly rolled into one worthless SOB.”
Maverick clenched his jaw. Yeah. Reardon was the bastard behind the fire. Worthless didn’t begin to describe a guy who could hurt innocent animals. But Leezel had been there, too.
“Coffee’s ready.” China stood at the screen door.
Maverick didn’t bother to acknowledge her presence. He heard the question and plea behind her simple statement. Will you stay? Please don’t go. He didn’t accept and he didn’t refuse. For now he just sat and watched the dumb dog. Its stupid tail wagged as if it was ready to make friends with that gopher in the hole.
Damned stupid dog. Beat it. Take off. Get the hell out of here.
The door opened and closed behind Maverick. Z pushed to his feet and shuffled off toward the bunkhouse. At least it survived. For the most part, only the barn had burned. Damn thing probably didn’t even need an accelerant. Just a match and an asshole to strike it.
Maverick jumped at China’s gentle hand on his arm. She didn’t say anything as she sat at his side, and he was glad for that. Words were only good for a couple times in life, and this wasn’t one of them. She didn’t sigh like most women did, either, and he was glad of that, too. A sigh was a hint. It was meant to invite conversation, like a leading question or statement. It was a ploy. A fishhook. A trap.
The stupid dog faced him now, both ears alert, probably waiting for a handout, as if he had anything decent to offer. Sorry, dog. You’re barking up the wrong tree. I got nothing and I wouldn’t feed you if I did.
The dog wasn’t much of a mutt though. Maverick detected a yellow Lab’s intelligent face and squared off ears. The way it sat at attention reminded Maverick of the explosive ordnance dogs overseas. Maybe this fellow wasn’t so much a stray as he was—lost.
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