by Alice Gaines
Fairy in My Bed
Alice Gaines
All rights reserved.
Copyright ©2006 Alice Gaines
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ISBN (10) 1-59596-491-6
ISBN (13) 978-1-59596-491-5
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Editor: Crystal Esau
Cover Artist: Bryan Keller
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What the hell was going on in his kitchen?
Steve Murray paused in his front hallway, his hand still on the doorknob. Should he go back outside and use his cell phone to call 911? Someone had broken into his house, for sure, and they were crashing all kinds of stuff in there. Buster howled. That cat could scare most dogs, and he’d just let loose with the ugliest sound Steve had ever heard him make.
“Fuck off, furburger,” a female voice said. A loud spray of water followed, and Buster hissed and growled back.
A woman was in his kitchen, breaking his dishes and cursing at his cat. How could he explain that to the police?
He shut the door silently and crept to the wall that separated the dining area from the kitchen. Peeking around the threshold, he got a good look at the action. Only, the scene didn’t make any sense.
Buster was crouched on the counter -- all eight pounds of him soaking wet. He’d bared his teeth to hiss, and he lifted his paw to show claws. Ears laid back and hissing, the cat meant business. The sugar canister lay on its side, sugar spilling out and forming a melting mess where the water had hit it. The coffee pot had fallen to the floor, breaking the carafe. Instant coffee, paper napkins, dish liquid -- everything not locked down was scattered on the counters and floors. And in the middle of the chaos stood a woman only about a foot tall. She held the rubber spray nozzle from the sink against her chest with both her arms around the lever.
Buster clawed at the air and growled again, and the tiny woman pressed against the lever, releasing a long arc of spray.
“Get back, flea-mobile,” she shouted, “or I’ll ram this down your throat and drown your liver.”
Steve stepped into the kitchen. “Who are you and what the hell are you doing?”
Her head snapped around. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m defending myself from your skanky cat.”
“Hey, he lives here.”
“He’s ugly.”
True, Buster wouldn’t win any kitty beauty contests. But she’d invaded his territory, not the other way around. “Doesn’t look like he thinks much of you, either.”
“Get him out of here.”
“Who are you to give orders?”
“Do it or I’ll kick his ass and whup yours, too.”
He had to laugh at that. A woman her size, kicking his butt?
“Shut up.” Her eyes narrowed until she looked almost as evil as Buster.
He might have shut up if he could. But the whole thing was right out of an old slapstick movie. A tiny creature standing in the rubble of his kitchen with a hose in her hand, while his cat stalked her.
“I mean it, asshole.” She activated the hose again, spraying it at the mugs hanging under the cupboard. They made such a clatter, Buster scrambled off the counter and ran from the room. The woman went on with her rampage, splashing last night’s dirty silverware off the counter. She even kicked a plate onto the floor, where it rolled around for a while before settling onto the vinyl tile with a thud.
“Okay, okay.” He threw up his hands. “I’m not laughing, and Buster’s gone. You can stop now.”
She released the lever, turning off the water, but she didn’t drop the hose.
“Honest. No one’s going to hurt you.”
“I knew that. Neither of you have the balos to try.”
He pointed at the sprayer. “So, why do you need that?”
She dropped her weapon finally, put her hands on her hips and stared at him. Now that things had calmed -- somewhat -- he could study her. She had spiky, black hair, oddly cut and streaked with fire engine red. Clunky, gold chains hung around her neck, falling over a halter top that covered her breasts but left her midsection bare. Latex black shorts went to mid-thigh. From there tattoos ran down the outside of one leg to her shoes -- high-top sneakers. Half punk, half grunge, and all weird.
“What are you?” he asked.
She rolled her eyes as if she’d never heard anything more stupid. “What does it look like I am?”
“It looks like you’re a very little person with a big attitude.”
“Damn straight, fuckhole.”
“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”
“You leave my mama out of it. She could kick your ass, too.”
Charm obviously ran in her family. “All right, let’s try another question. How did you get in here?”
“Through the swinging door in the back.”
“The cat door?”
“I didn’t know about tuna-breath. I thought you put it there for me.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Duh! So I could get in.”
“But, if I didn’t know you existed…” Oh, what was the point? “Never mind.”
“Women come and go through here like city busses -- one every twenty minutes.”
She’d noticed. He did pretty well in the sex department. Women never regretted spending time in his bed. In his hot tub. In his shower. Even in his car, although the bucket seats were a bitch.
“The one Tuesday was a real freak. What a ho.”
“I don’t date hos. Or freaks, either.” Whatever that meant.
“‘Fuck me, Steve’,” she cried, her voice full of sarcasm. “‘Harder. Harder. I’m gonna come’.”
She did a fair impression of Veronica. He’d lost track of how many times she’d come. Just remembering now gave him a hard-on.
“You two were humping like dogs,” she said.
“You watched.”
She shrugged. “I was bored.”
“What’s the matter? Can’t get any of your own?”
“Fuck that, man. I can get anything I want.” She sounded confident, but she wouldn’t look at him when she said it. She was bullshitting him. Why?
“Been a while, has it? Maybe you’re horny. Maybe you came in here to get laid.”
“You’re out of your mind, dweeb.”
“Ha! That’s it. You let yourself in so you could have some yourself.”
“Hellllloooo, stupid. I’m twelve inches tall. Your cock is almost that big.”
“You have been watching me!” Twelve inches was an exaggeration, but he hadn’t had any complaints in that department. He’d obviously impressed this little whatever she was.
“I was just curious, okay?”
“About me or about sex?”
“Just stuff.”
She didn’t look at him again, and this time her pale skin turned four shades of pink. She was embarrassed. Ki
nd of cute, when you got right down to it. Only, what could possibly embarrass someone like her?
Then, it hit him. “You’re a virgin.”
“Yeah, right.” She made a loud pfft, but her skin got even redder.
How absolutely delightful. How long had it been since he’d seen a woman blush? Did women even do that anymore? “You are. You’ve never had a man, so you’ve been spying on me.”
“Does that ego fit in your hat?”
“Don’t deny it, you little freak. You want me.”
Her expression changed from embarrassment to fury. “No asshole disses me. I’m outta here.”
She sat at the edge of the counter and lowered her feet onto the handle of the first drawer. She meant to climb down using the handles as a ladder, obviously, but he scooped her up and set her back onto the tiles. “Not until you’ve cleaned up this mess.”
She rolled her eyes. “All right.”
She did a karate chop sort of motion with her arms. “Shiznit!”
In an instant, the kitchen went back to the way he’d left it this morning. Intact coffee pot, unspilled sugar and coffee -- everything she and Buster had destroyed fixed. She hadn’t cleaned his dirty dishes, though.
“There,” she said. “That’s one.”
“One what?”
“Humans. They never get any smarter.”
From out of nowhere came the sound of percussion -- a driving thump-thump heavy in the bass. The squeal of a vinyl record getting scratched joined in until the whole thing sounded like what kids blared out of their cars. The woman on his counter started dancing to it in herky-jerky motions.
“Yo mama, yo papa,
Yo great aunt Ruth,
You think you caught me,
But that ain’t truth.
Fashizzle, fashazzle,
Go swim with the fishes,
I’m gettin’ the fuck out,
After your three wishes.”
“I get three wishes?” he said.
The music ended, and she rolled her eyes at him again. “You caught a fairy, so you get three wishes.”
“You’re a fairy?”
“Is there an echo in here? You already used one wish. Do you want to use another one on an explanation?”
“No.” His cat had treed a fairy in his kitchen, and he got three wishes. Now, that could be some fun. He ought to fight her about the first one, but he could still get everything he wanted with two.
“All right,” he said. “For my second wish, I want to take your virginity. That is, if you can make yourself the right size.”
“I can do anything I want.”
“Well, then…”
She sat on the edge of the counter and waved her arms. “Shiznit!”
She turned into a full-sized woman so quickly if he’d blinked, he would have missed it. And what a woman. Firm, rounded breasts stretched the fabric of her top, and her skin-tight shorts showed off hips and thighs plush enough to serve as cushions for the most decadent sultan. If her ass was that prime, too, what a body.
His cock reacted as if she’d shiznitted that, too. Already semi-erect, it sprang to full length and thickness, threatening to bust out of his slacks. While the shaft throbbed in time to the music she’d played, the head rubbed against the soft cotton of his briefs.
She stared at his crotch, and her eyes got so wide they filled half her face.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “When I get you hot, it’ll fit just fine.”
Still staring at him, she swallowed hard. “Well, shiz-fuckin’-nit.”
* * *
When they got inside the bedroom, she looked around, glancing in the corners and even lifting the spread to check under the bed. “Mr. Mange isn’t hiding somewhere, is he?”
“If Buster were in here, you’d know it.” After closing the door to make sure the cat didn’t get inside, he toed off his shoes.
The fairy didn’t make any move to get undressed but sat on the bed and fidgeted. Virgin nerves. He’d never had a virgin before and never thought he’d want one, but this woman was different. Hell, this woman would be different for any guy.
First, to put her at ease. “What’s your name?”
She looked for a minute as if she wouldn’t tell him. Finally, she shrugged. “Lady Badass.”
“Your mother named you that?” he asked, shucking out of his shirt.
“She named me Arista.” She pointed her finger at him. “But, she can still kick your ass.”
He unbuckled his belt, unzipped his fly, and dropped his pants to the floor. After kicking them aside, he walked to her. “You want to finish the job?”
She reached out tentatively, as if afraid to hurt him. Her shyness was sweet, really. Touching. He’d had so many experienced women, never thought he wanted anyone else, but sharing the newness with her had definite appeal.
“It’s real,” he said. “You can take it out if you want.”
She pushed his briefs down and took his cock in both her hands. “Shit, it’s big. And hard.”
“And sensitive.” She stroked him, and his knees almost buckled. “Are you sure you’ve never done this before?”
Before he could catch a breath, she parted her lips and kissed the tip of his cock. She looked up at him, checking his reaction. He smiled and nodded his approval, so she took several inches into her mouth. The moisture, the heat, the suction. Damn, she was fellating him like a pro. She kept it up, slurping and licking until his balls got heavy and hard.
“Slow down, baby,” he groaned. “You’ll make me come too fast.”
She removed her mouth from around his rod and blushed again. “Can I watch?”
“If I come, the fun will be over.”
“I can fix that.”
She went back to sucking his dick, and he let her. Most guys would kill for head like this, and he was only human.
She seemed to be having a hell of a time, because she got creative. Her mouth glided lower along his shaft as if she wanted to swallow him whole. Then she pulled her head back, licking and nipping. Holy fucking shit. He was going to blow. Any second. He was going to spill such a load nothing would be left. Any second.
“Babe… ah, sheeze… if you… fuck!… want to watch…”
She pulled her mouth off his cock and pumped the length, flicking at the head with her thumb. “Now.”
On command, he came. Wave after wave of hot semen shot out of him. Shivering, gasping, grunting, he sprayed come onto the spread, onto himself, onto her. Knees weak, he fell onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. What an orgasm. He could scarcely breathe.
Before he could recover, she started stroking him again. Gently this time, she smoothed his own semen along the length of his rod. Unbelievable, but in a minute he was hard again and even bigger than before.
Shocked, he stared up at her, only to find her rubbing more of his come onto her neck and shoulders. Somehow, the scent of roses sprang up around her as she massaged it into her skin and her expression got dreamy. “That was awesome.”
“Uh… thanks. No really. Thanks.”
She smiled for real this time -- an upward quirk of her lips and a shine of pride in her eyes. It gave him a warm, funny feeling inside. What would she do when he gave her her own orgasm?
He sat up on the bed. “You have far too many clothes on.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
He reached his arms around her, searching for a clasp to her bra. All he found was bare skin. No support for those breasts. Could the flesh really be that round and firm on its own?
When she lifted her arms, he stripped the top off her and dropped it to the floor. Sure enough. Her boobs were high and round, peaked with rosy nipples. He couldn’t help himself and dove right in, taking one into his mouth while kneading the other breast with his hands.
“Holy shit,” she gasped. “That feels good.”
“It’s just the beginning,” he mumbled as he moved to the other breast to suckle.
After
a minute, she started to squirm. “I’m getting wet.”
“… ’s nice…”
“Between my legs. So wet. And… oh, man… so hot.”
“I can scratch that itch for you.”
She raised his head so she could look into his eyes. “What are you going to do?”
“It’ll get a lot better before it stops.”
Her eyes narrowed as if she didn’t believe it. But then, how did you explain oral sex to someone when they’d never experienced it? “Get naked, and I’ll show you.”
She removed her sneakers and rose. Smoothing her shorts over her ass and down her thighs, she removed the last of her clothing. The scent of her arousal hit him, hot and floral, like the roses where she’d perfumed herself with his semen.
Impossible, but when he slipped his fingers between her thighs and found her wetness, the scent grew stronger. He stroked her, finding her clit and teasing it with the pad of his thumb. “Is this where it itches?”
“Dayum.”
Moisture flowed out of her, still roses, until she smelled like a garden in summer. He kept up the pressure, rubbing and tweaking. “You must have done this for yourself.”
“Shit, yeah. Everyone has.”
“I’ll bet you never did this.”
He guided her onto the bed, parted her legs, and went to work. Sliding his arms under her thighs, he moved himself into position and put his mouth over her pussy.
She squeaked with surprise, and her hips jerked upward, then with a little sigh, she lowered herself and opened her legs, surrendering.
Damn, but she was good. Underneath the rose lay a hint of strawberry. He found her clit, and damned if it didn’t add some raspberry. As much as he loved eating regular women, none of them tasted like a fruit salad. The perfume went right to his brain, which started sending signals all along his nerve endings. Already hard and aching, his cock started throbbing. It wanted inside her to thrust, deep and fast. It wanted to feel her clench around it as she came. Hell, it wanted -- needed -- anything that would make him come and release the pressure, but he had a job to do here, first.
Her breath came shallow and fast now, and her hips moved, pushing her cunt against his face. He held her thighs fast as he took her clit into his mouth and suckled.