by Kim Hornsby
I couldn’t imagine what this mysterious character had to tell me that seemed so important that his face would have such a pained look. “What is it?”
“I loved someone else.”
“Jacqueline.”
“No, not Jacqueline. My feelings for her were never true love.” He chuckled then stared hard into my eyes. “I loved Belinda.”
“Belinda McMahon?” I almost fell off my chair to think that this man in front of me was in love with an eighty-year-old woman, then remembered that he’d known her for decades. “How tragic it must have been to see her age and then die.” I couldn’t stop the words before they came out of my mouth.
Caspian didn’t acknowledge my words. “When I first met Belinda, she was in her late thirties. We were the same age. She was a fiery, deep-thinking beauty who painted the most breathtaking pictures of the sea.”
I listened to him speak, barely aware that this new revelation was breaking my heart.
“We lived here in harmony for over four decades. They were happy years. As she got older, our relationship changed, but not my love for her. Belinda was very sensible, pragmatic and our love evolved into something more manageable as she got older.”
Tears came to my eyes to hear his confession. I had no words to offer Caspian, nothing to soothe his broken heart.
“I didn’t want to pass on to wherever ghosts go when they aren’t in this world. I wanted to be with Belinda always. I didn’t know what waited for me on the other side. Belinda knew I wasn’t supposed to be trapped in this house all this time but I didn’t have the means to go and even if I had, I couldn’t leave Belinda. Even if it was only as her muse, her friend. She called me her muse,” he smiled, sadly.
Caspian looked up at me, his own eyes watery. “Your mother and I were never anything more than brief acquaintances. But Belinda, I loved and lost.”
My tears fell. Later I would assess what emotions were associated with those tears, but Caspian’s confession seemed to take so much out of him that he faded very slowly in front of me.
His look of shock was the last thing I saw before the darkness set in.
Chapter 12
I ventured into the kitchen to make a cup of tea when my vision returned along with Caspian. It was so much easier to make tea with eyesight and I said so, the moment I saw my tea bag slip into the scalding water. “And, it’s much safer,” I said loud enough for Caspian to hear from wherever he was in the room.
“I should think so,” he said, ten feet off my right elbow.
“You’ve only been gone an hour.” I was thinking he might like to know why I was wearing the same jeans and old sweatshirt from his last visit.
“Interesting,” he whispered. “I wish I had control over this coming and going.” He looked out the kitchen window.
“You looked surprised when you faded away.”
“I was surprised. I’d just arrived and felt myself slipping away again. Each time I worry it will be my last.”
“Me too.” I dunked the Earl Grey tea bag and crushed it with the spoon watching the brown swirls in my mug.
“What does it feel like when you fade away?”
“Have you fainted?” he asked, tipping his head.
I nodded.
“It’s much like that. My eyes are open, but blackness takes over my vision.”
“Welcome to my world,” I said.
“Yes, I suppose it’s like that for you when I leave. Isn’t it interesting that we share this? But you remain here in the darkness, fully cognizant. For me, the next thing I know is waking. Like just now, appearing in this room with you.”
I crossed to the table to sit by Hodor who hadn’t caught a whiff of Moonraker yet.
Caspian sat across from me.
“I was moved by your confession about loving Belinda. I wish I’d known her.” I still wasn’t sure how to approach this subject. His confession had left me feeling a mix of jealousy, sadness, and relief that he’d had a life in this house for the last century. At least the last forty years with Belinda. I’d also felt relief that my mother was out of the picture as anything more than an acquaintance who shared some deep secret with Caspian. At least he hadn’t fallen for her hot to trot routine. “You told me you were fading away from Belinda in the last few years.”
Caspian fingered the bracelet I’d given him, playing with the silver ghost charm. “When she first moved to Cove House, I saw Belinda the same way I see you and you see me. I wasn’t transparent to her. She could touch me, lay her hand on my sleeve, like you have.”
I smiled.
“We could walk hand in hand on the grounds, although to anyone watching, Belinda looked to be walking alone.” Caspian’s voice was full of emotion.
“Did it change?”
“Yes. Until she eventually couldn’t lay her hand on my arm. Her touch would go through me to the surface beneath my arm. She told me that I’d taken on a shimmering quality. Then, I became translucent, gradually fading to nothing.” He looked up to gaze at me with the saddest eyes I’d ever seen. “In the last year, she would speak to me, I could hear her, but she could neither hear nor see me.”
“How horrible for you,” my voice hitched in my throat.
“I would move her embroidery scissors or her hat to let her know I was close.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“When you first saw me clearly, I was astounded.”
I imagined he was. I talked to him, telling him to come back, face me, tell me who he was. “Were you here the night she died?” A tear trickled down my cheek.
“No, I was not. By the time I arrived, she was gone, the house was empty, and I found a note to tell me that her heart was giving out, she was headed to the hospital and that she’d made arrangements for the house and hoped what she did would take care of me.” His eyes were misty and mine were giving away the sadness I felt for Caspian.
“Me.”
“I suppose so. She must have died in the hospital because Mrs. Hightower arrived shortly after to pack up her things.”
“You watched her pack?”
“I was present.”
“Belinda gave me this house in a letter and told me to help you.”
Caspian nodded. “It’s complicated, this ghostly existence. This story of mine.”
Just then, Rachel and Eve arrived home with bad news, according to Eve, and good news according to Rachel. They’d seen Bane Jackson at the museum and Rachel marched right up to him to invite him to dinner.
I was horrified. “Here? You invited my enemy to dinner? What were you thinking, Mother?” I tried to not shoot my mother a look to indicate I saw her traitorous self.
“Put this feud to rest,’ she said taking off her coat. I knew she was taking off her coat because Caspian was still close, standing by the stove. “He’s actually a nice-looking man, Bryndle, although his resemblance to Harry isn’t as strong face to face.” My mother looked over to where Caspian stood, his arms crossed on his chest. “And he’s alive. You might find him attractive. Oh, hello, Caspian.” She turned to me and I stared blindly at the table.
“Is Caspian here?”
“Yes, he’s staring at you, Bryndle,” my mother said.
Eve was unloading groceries, the absence of words speaking volumes about what she thought about Rachel’s invitation.
“Inviting Bane Jackson is out of the question, Mother,” I said. “You’ll need to cancel the dinner. Did you give him a date?” I hoped it was in three weeks when we were back in Seattle. He could show up to a deserted house, for all I cared.
“Tonight,” Eve said quietly from over by the window where she was unloading groceries into the fridge.
“Don’t worry. I’ll cook,” Rachel said, obviously forgetting that the only thing she’d ever cooked was my grandmother’s Roast Beef. And that was just once, for my tenth birthday. Eighteen years earlier. My mother microwaved and ordered in.
“Do you not understand that Bane Jackson can’t be in the same room w
ith me.” I stared at the table, so I wouldn’t look my mother in the eyes with dislike. “I’m blind and I do not want that big mouth, gossip-monger to know that.” My voice was increasing in volume. “I can’t believe he accepted.”
“He looked very captivated by Aunt Rachel,” Eve said.
“Finally, I meet someone interesting around here,” Rachel said. “He looks nothing like Harry once he starts talking.”
“You have a boyfriend who will be here to visit this weekend, Mother. And besides, Bane Jackson is not welcome in this house. Have you even read the stuff he writes about me? About you too? He called you some pretty choice names this week. This man is not your friend.” I glanced over as my mother loaded perishables into the fridge, her back to me. Eve shot me a look and I shook my head.
“Well, let’s turn that around tonight, shall we?” Rachel said. “Did I ever tell you the story of the little boy in second grade who pulled my pigtails?”
Rachel was about to tell us how she turned that little kid around to worshipping her with one chocolate chip cookie. “Yes, you have, but we don’t need Bane Jackson on our side.”
“Well, it would be a lot easier for everyone if he stopped writing nasty things about your business, wouldn’t it?” She slammed a can down on the counter with force. “And I think you need to tell the world you’re blind; you’re not going to regain your sight and you have to accept that.”
I counted to ten in my head. “You think I should tell this man I’m blind, I’ve been lying, and hope he doesn’t write about me ever again? What planet are you living on, Mother?”
“I’m not living in denial, Bryndle.”
I looked to Caspian who shook his head at my mother. “Rachel, it’s not your place to advise Bryndle about this man,” he said.
At that moment, I felt my heart spill all over the floor for Caspian.
Rachel turned to Caspian and laughed at him, as if he was an idiot. “And it’s not your place to advise me. Who are you, Caspian, that you feel you can enter this conversation? You’re nothing but a translucent busybody who has nothing else to do than hang around and stick his nose into other people’s affairs.”
Now I knew my mother saw Caspian as translucent. And that Caspian did not like my mother. This whole conversation was worth it now.
Caspian looked angry. “Rachel. I’m an outsider who can see that your interference with Bryndle pushes her farther away from you. If you want to improve your relationship with your daughter, like you told me last night, you need to stop trying to manage her life.”
Wait! What? Rachel and Caspian had a talk last night? It spoke volumes that this piece of information was the most disturbing revelation in this whole conversation. I didn’t want my mother talking to Caspian without me present. I turned to Eve who only heard my mother’s side of the conversation. “Rachel and Caspian are arguing,” I said, standing up from the table. “OK, you two. I appreciate that everyone cares about me, but let’s make lunch or do something else for a few minutes while I think about how to cancel Bane Jackson’s invasion of my privacy. MY PRIVACY, MOTHER!”
I heard my mother sniff on the other side of the room. She was a crier. Tears came easily to her which I’d always found strange seeing she drove people to tears so often.
“I just wanted to do something nice, to help,” she said.
“Fine,” I answered, my heart rate heading back to just above too high. My mother obviously had no idea how much I did not want Bane Jackson in my home. Ever. Even if I could see, I never wanted to meet this man. “Eve,” I said. “When the time comes, we’ll lock the door and turn off the outside light. If my mother won’t uninvite him, we will simply not open the door.” I threw a glance at Caspian who was watching me. “Eve. Did you get the papers from Joan Hightower about the house?” I asked on Caspian’s behalf.
“I asked Joan for dinner too,” Rachel added. “She wasn’t finished photocopying, so I told her to bring the information when she comes tonight.”
“Oh, my God, Mother! Who else have you invited?”
“No one else. Just the six of us,” Rachel said. “And I need to start the roast if Eve will set the table and make things pretty for our first dinner party in this house.”
My mother’s tone suggested her sniffing was done and she’d moved on. Regardless of what I said, Rachel was making a roast and if it turned out like Grandma Primrose’s, it was something to look forward to.
From the corner of my eye, I saw my mother tie her hair back and then reach for the apron hanging on the back of the door leading outside.
“Eve? Can I talk with you both in the other room? Get Carlos. We’re having a meeting.” I wanted to make a plan on how to navigate the evening if Bane Jackson was going to be in my house. If Caspian could stick around, I could pull it off with sight and ask everyone to pretend I’m not blind. Specifically, Mrs. Hightower and my mother.
Eve followed me to the salon, where I crossed to the mantle and stared into a fire Carlos had built earlier. Caspian sat at the piano. The embers in the grate were still orange, glowing and giving off heat.
Carlos rushed in the room. “What’s up?”
“My mother has invited Bane Jackson to dinner.” I turned to Caspian. “If you can hang around until this evening, I might be able to pull this off. If Bane comes here and sees I’m not blind, this might be a good thing. Trouble is, my mother thinks I’m blind.”
“As does Joan Hightower,” Eve added.
“Exactly. How do I pretend to be sighted in front of Bane and blind in front of my mother?”
Caspian rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
“If my mother hadn’t asked Joan, I’d say that now is the time to tell her I can see when Caspian is near. But, with Joan coming, I’m not sure I want to try to explain this phenomenon. She’s sensitive about ghosts.” I looked to the room’s only ghost. “Sorry Caspian.”
He shook his head. “As I see it, this gentleman who is coming for dinner needs to believe you are sighted. That seems to be the priority.”
I translated for Eve who started to talk over top of Caspian until I held up my hand. “Correct. I don’t want him to think I’ve gone blind.”
Eve shot me a look to see if now was a good time to talk. I nodded.
“I think Bane was just about to ask Joan about you when we walked in. I heard her say that she doesn’t know you very well.”
I stared at my ghost and shook my head slowly. “I have to tell my mother and Joan that I see in your presence. That’s all there is to it. Bane has to eat dinner with a fully sighted Moody. “Eve, what time are they coming?”
“Eight p.m. but maybe we should ask Joan to come earlier,” Eve said. She looked worried that we might not pull this off.
“Yes, ask her to come at seven thirty so we can have a little chat. Tell her it’s about the information she dug up on the history of this house and Caspian’s ship.
I turned to the man and the cat that was winding his way around his boots.
“And you better be here at eight p.m. or my name will be mud.”
Chapter 13
In retaliation to my mother asking Bane to dinner, I packed all her things while she was cooking and moved them to the bedroom two doors down. If her boyfriend was arriving in three days, I did not want to be privy to their noises through the thin walls. I set her packed suitcase on the bed and left the room with Caspian.
“Privacy seems to be the theme today,” I said.
“Or lack of it,” he smiled. “I was thinking it might be nice to take a walk outside. The rain has stopped.”
I couldn’t help but think of how Caspian said he walked with Belinda hand in hand. “Sure. Is it pleasant for you to go out, or does it matter?”
“I can go outside any time I want,” he said. “As long as I’m present. I just thought you hadn’t been outside today, Hodor might like to run around, and because Jackson is coming for dinner, I doubted he’d have his flying machine watching you today.”
He was right. I did want to go outside, get some fresh air. “Let’s go.”
Eve was worried that Caspian might fade away while we were outside, but I put my phone in my pocket and assured her I’d call if I found myself without eyes. “Or Hodor can lead me back,” I said, grabbing my dog’s leash from the thingie at the front door.
The wind had died down to a tolerable level and I was surprised to see Caspian’s hair blowing around when we stepped off the stairs to the lawn. “Can you feel the wind?” I asked.
“Yes. It’s a good sailing wind,” he said, looking at the sky.
“Do you miss sailing?” I was sure I could fill a book with the things Caspian missed in his life as a ghost.
“Yes, sometimes. I love the sea.”
“Let’s walk down the path to the beach,” I suggested. “Can you go that far?”
He nodded and smiled at me. “I believe I can.”
I called Hodor back from the carriage house, the place he took off to first when let outside, and we started for the cliff edge. “Have you wondered why I don’t just start digging all over the property to look for your bones?”
“No. I understand you’re more methodical. There’s a chance I wasn’t buried here.” He opened the gate leading to the trail down the cliffside to the beach below.
“Or that anyone found your body. It might have drifted out to sea if you drowned in the bay.”
Caspian turned back to look at me, about to say something, then didn’t.
“Was your ship anchored here, in the bay?”
“Moored,” he said, and I wondered what the difference was.
The path was navigable, but I had to watch my step. I’d never be able to do this blind, I thought as we found our way down the hillside. Hodor ran on ahead and Moonraker prowled the grassy edges looking for prey.
“Why did Jacqueline stab you?”
There was a long pause while I believed Caspian to be weighing the advantage of telling me about Jacqueline with the advantage of me having information with which to find his bones. “We hadn’t been married in the true sense for years, and I’d recently come back from a trip to the Orient. I wanted to legally be free of her. I followed the trail to her, finding her here and asked for her cooperation.” We’d reached the bottom stair and Caspian put out his hand for me to step onto the rocky beach. “Her new lover was an unprincipled man, someone I did not think much of and I told her so.”