by K. M. Raya
“I thought we did, but I guess we weren’t thorough enough, or the house was just that big. So here I am in my underwear, my bag’s on the other side of the room, so I yell for Missy and Nina, trying not to panic.”
Missy has tears leaking from her eyes, trying not to lose her shit. I can remember it like it was just yesterday. The guys have a twinkle in their eyes too, and even Alex looks mildly interested now that I’m pantsless in the story… typical guy.
Missy can’t help herself. “So Nina and I run upstairs, kick open the door, and what do we see?” she snorts through her tears now and my face must be beet red. “There’s Helana, jumping off the bed like freakin Tarzan in nothing but her underwear with a giant ass lime-green dildo in her hands, screaming her head off as she stabs the zom in the eye socket with it!”
The guys are howling now and I’m crying as my body shakes. I can still remember how it felt to push that giant dick through the monster’s head. “To clarify…” I attempt to breathe through my hiccuping laughter. “It wasn’t my dildo, it was all I could find in the bedside drawer. It was either that or I’d be zombie chow in ten seconds.”
None of us can breathe right now. Beretta’s practically on the ground with laughter. I save the best for last. “And wouldn’t you believe, when it was all over, the fucking thing was vibrating!” I’m wheezing.
That memory never fails to brighten my day, and I’m sure I’ll be telling that story for many years to come… hopefully.
That last bit sparks a new round of howling laughter, to the point where my stomach actually hurts. Wyatt passes his flask back around for another treat and we all happily indulge. We drink for the next hour, enjoying the first semblance of peace we’ve had in a long time.
Chapter ☣ 13
Hell
A scream in the middle of the night has me jumping to my feet. Frantically, I shake my head, trying to clear the nightmares from my eyes as I search for the danger. I’m wondering if maybe I simply screamed inside of my head like so many other nights before... when it happens again.
The scream is coming from Nina’s tent. The others are waking up too, but Dante is the first on his feet, rushing towards it. Missy practically runs him over, barreling out of the opening with desperation in her expression. Her red hair is wild and curly, and her wide green eyes are full of tears. “It’s Nina! I don’t know what’s wrong, but she’s too warm and I can’t calm her down.”
Missy, Dante and I shuffle into the tent, where Nina lies on the ground, thrashing from side to side. The pillow under her head is soaked, and so is her black hair that’s sticking to her dripping forehead. Her brown skin looks pale and flushed, and I can smell that she’s thrown up a few times.
I sink to my knees at her bedside, my palms hovering over her body, not knowing where to touch first. “Dante, what’s wrong with her?” I stick my shaking hand out and lay it on her forehead. She’s burning up, and my fingers come away covered in sweat. “I thought you said she wasn’t bitten!”
He looks her over, feeling around her ankle and shaking his head. “She wasn’t, but she might have broken something. It looks like she has an infection because her fever’s out of control.”
“What does that mean?” Missy asks frantically, pacing back and forth, running her fingers through her hair. “What are we supposed to do, we don’t exactly have a hospital we can take her to!”
I level Dante with a pointed look. “She needs antibiotics. What do you have in that medical bag?”
His eyes shutter and he shakes his head, slamming his fist on his knee. “Not what she needs. She needs something stronger than Tylenol, Hell. Something only emergency rooms and pharmacies carry.”
Taking a deep breath, I sit back on my heels as Wyatt opens the slit in the tent. Looking up, I meet his worried eyes as he gets a good look at Nina’s prone form. “Shit,” he mutters.
Pushing past him, I leave the tent, nodding for Dante to follow. Missy stays with Nina, and I know she’s not planning on leaving her side any time soon. Outside, Beretta and Alex are waiting too. I face the group. “I’m going for those antibiotics.”
Wyatt steps forward. “How are you gonna do that, we have no idea where we are.”
“This town is small, and from what I saw out there, there’s basically Mainstreet, and residential neighborhoods. Towns like this usually have three central buildings; the local school, the library, and a hospital. I’m going to find that hospital and get her the meds.”
Turning around, I don't even wait for them to argue. I just gather what I think I’m going to need for the trip. I have no idea where to even start searching, but I’m frantic. I know from experience out in the field during training how fast people can succumb to infections. Most of them blaze through the body like a hot fire before reaching the brain and cooking them from the inside out. I fucking refuse to watch one of my best friends die like that. Not like this. Not after everything we’ve survived.
A heavy hand lands on my shoulder as I’m stuffing various things into my pack. I want to stop, but I can’t. I have to go now before Nina runs out of time. My hands are shaking and my heart hurts every time it thumps too hard against my ribcage. “Helana, stop.”
Turning on my heel, I rip Wyatt’s hand off my shoulder and shove my finger towards his face. “Don’t tell me what to fucking do, Wyatt! I’m going, and you can’t say anything that’ll change my mind!”
“I’m not trying to stop you, but we need to think about this for a minute.”
“There is no we.” I gesture between the both of us, his eyes flash with hurt. “There’s only me, and I’m going, now.” Just then, Anubis comes running up, shoving his nose against my leg before wandering into the tent, probably smelling Nina’s sickness.
Wyatt becomes brave when he grabs me by the shoulders and forces me to stand still. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from screaming in frustration. “Helana, calm down. We’ll figure this out, but if you run out there without a plan, you’re gonna get yourself eaten, and then what’s Nina going to do? If you go off and get killed because you didn’t think, Nina’s going to die too.”
That jolts me out of my trance. He has a point. My shoulders fall, and my chest deflates. Shaking my head, I let my arms fall to my sides. “I have to…”
His eyes soften, and his thumb brushes my cheek as he cups my jaw. “I know. Trust me, I know. But you aren’t going on your own.”
Rearing back, I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “What are you saying?”
Wyatt smiles, but there’s no happiness there. It’s a beak smile. One filled with misplaced hope, but more than that, the need to pacify me. “I’m going with you.”
“The fuck you are!” Alex barks, striding over to Wyatt and I and ripping his friend’s hands off my face. “Are you fucking kidding me?” He points at me with his whole hand, palm up. “This chick’s on a suicide mission and it’s not our job to make sure she keeps herself alive.”
“Screw you, Alex!” I get right up in his face before Wyatt can even respond. “Why are you such a fucking prick all the time?”
“Maybe you just bring it out in me, ever think of that?”
“Fuck you!” I push his shoulders and he stumbles back a few steps, eyes wide and head shaking.
When he comes back towards me, Dante and Wyatt get in between us. Dante holds me back, while Wyatt steps in front of Alex. “Clam down, Lex. I am going with her. Nina’s dying and the only way she’s gonna live past tomorrow is if she gets those meds.”
Alex’s eyes are blazing. “And why is that our problem?” He’s looking deep into Wyatt’s eyes, and it’s not really anger I see there, it’s fear. Cold, stark fear. “You’re willing to sacrifice yourself for someone you barely know… why?”
Wyatt pushes on his shoulders ever so slightly before latching on. His voice goes low with a slight edge to it. “Because they're people, Alex. They're real, living, breathing peopl
e who need our help, and there aren't many of those around anymore. If it was me or Dante or Ret, wouldn’t you do the same?”
Alex is quiet, but his chest is heaving, as are his shoulders. His blue eyes bounce around between all of us, until finally landing on me. I can tell he’s calming down, but I’m becoming impatient. Every second we sit here playing house is another second of Nina’s life slipping away.
I glare right back at Alex, not holding any of my fury back this time. I’m not here to cater to this man’s fears while one of the most important people in my entire world wastes away. “I’m not asking anyone to come with me, but I promise I’m going either way. You can try and stop me, but I swear to god, I’ll kill anyone who tries. Nina’s not going to die when there’s something I can do to stop that from happening.”
We’re all silent for a long stretch of time, until finally Alex concedes. “Fine, go on your suicide mission… but I’m coming too.”
“Hell no!” I screech. Hell to the fucking no.
“Helana,” Wyatt says, ever the voice of reason. “You need all the help you can get, and I’ll be there too.”
“I’m going, and that’s that,” Alex promises, crossing his arms and causing me to grit my teeth.
“Listen, motherfucker. I have a list of people I trust to watch my back without stabbing it, and I think we both know that you’re not on it.”
“I never assumed I was, and nor are you on mine,” he snaps back. “But I’m not letting you run off with my best friend to get him killed saving your stupid, prissy ass. I’m going.”
☣
I hit the weapons area where the guys were cataloguing the guns yesterday. I fill my holsters and pockets with various hunting knives, but skip over the firearms altogether. I have no idea what we’ll be walking into, but I know we can’t afford to call all that attention to ourselves.
Wyatt and Alex are strapping themselves with everything they can reach, and I know they’ll have to stock up again when we return. I cringe, just watching them load those bullets. I can practically hear the shots already, reverberating off of empty buildings and echoing down every hollow street. Anubis hasn't left me alone, he just follows me from place to place, tail wagging and chomping at the bit to… well, to chomp. He’s amped up, and I’m not looking forward to leaving him behind. This mission needs to be fast and smooth, and I won't risk him.
We’re gathering on the bottom level when Dante walks up, lightly grabbing my arm and nodding for me to step aside for a second. I follow quietly, glancing over my shoulder impatiently. Rounding on Dante, I cock my head to the side. “What is it, is it Nina?”
His eyes flit over my shoulder to where Alex and Wyatt are preparing to head out, hoisting their packs on and patting themselves for weapons check. Dante’s hazel eyes come back to me, filled with so much worry. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come?”
Smiling softly, I place my hand on his bicep and squeeze. “We’ve got this, don’t worry. I know what I’m doing out there, and I’m assuming dumb and dumber do too.”
This gets him to crack a small, extremely charming smile. “I’ll keep an eye on her while you’re gone.”
“I’d expect nothing less, Doc.” We stand like that for a long, tense moment, just staring at each other. This moment feels heavy for some reason. Dante takes a deep breath, before surprising me by pulling me in for a hug.
At first, I don’t know how to respond. Hugging is such a foreign concept these days I almost forgot what it felt like to truly embrace another human being for comfort. But hugging Dante feels right. The same way having Ret’s fingers through my hair and Wyatt’s palm holding my face felt right. He feels familiar and comforting, so I don’t pull away.
After an awkward second, I hug him back, feeling the warmth of his massive body seep through to my skin. It feels good. Really fucking good to indulge. He pulls back, his face hovering close to mine. He’s so absolutely striking that it’s hard to know what to focus on first. His dark beard that highlights that angular jaw, or those midnight eyes that look like they’re filled with millions of stars… I have to shake my head to clear it. I’m getting off point here.
“You come back alive, okay?” He shakes me slightly, fingers pressing into my shoulders. “I mean it, Helana. You do whatever you have to do to get back here, because if you don’t, I’ll come looking.”
Sucking in a breath, I wait for the punchline, but I don’t think there is one. Dante’s one hundred percent serious right now and for some reason it makes my belly tingle strangely. The way he’s looking at me gives me the impression that he cares about me a lot more than someone who he only met three days ago. “I’ll come back. You can count on it…”
He just nods curtly, before clearing his throat and stepping away. I force myself to turn, but I know I need to say goodbye to Missy and Nina before I leave. I head inside the tent, where Missy’s crouched next to a still sweating Nina. She looks up when I enter and stands. “You're going now?”
“Yeah, heading out in a few. I just wanted to say goodbye, and...” I glance down at Nina, tears springing to my eyes. “And that I’ll be back before you know it, with a fuck ton of medication, okay? We’ll have enough to make a drug addict envious, I swear.”
Missy’s eyes glaze over as she throws her arms around me and squeezes. She sniffles into my shoulder. “It’s not like we haven’t been on missions before, right? This is just like that…'' she murmurs. “You’re a tough bitch, Helana. Keep being a tough bitch and those zoms don’t stand a chance.”
Taking her by the shoulders, I hold her there with my arms outstretched. “I promised you I’d come back, but I’m not an idiot. I know how dangerous it is out there, so if something happens to me…”
She scoffs, tearing her eyes away. “Nothing's happening to you. You’re Helana goddamn Gray, baddest chick in the whole Marine Corps. We survived Iraq together, so we’ll survive this too.” She seems so sure of herself, and so sure of me.
Smiling though my tears is difficult, but I do it anyway. For her. It’s what she needs right now, no matter what doubts I’m feeling. “Still, if for some reason I don’t make it back… I promise, either Alex or Wyatt will. One way or another Nina’s getting those antibiotics, even if I have to roll back here with no arms or legs, got it?”
After a moment, she just nods, knowing that whatever happens, happens. So I turn to Nina, crouching down to where she sleeps on wet blankets. Brushing her hair back from her face, I lean down and place a small kiss on her forehead. My eyes fill with tears again. “I’m gonna fix you, you clumsy bitch,” I laugh, shaking my head. “I’ll be back…”
Standing up, I leave Missy and Nina behind with Anubis on my heels, joining the others who are huddled together, discussing something that looks like tense, hushed whispers. “What’s going on?” I ask, placing my hands on my hips as I plant myself next to Wyatt. Alex just glares at me as per usual, but Ret and Wyatt glance at each other nervously before answering.
“So, I have a plan, but you’re not going to like it,” says Ret.
“Try me.”
She takes a deep breath. “Okay, so this store has a few three wheelers and a few quads…”
“Absolutely not,” I clip with finality. Shaking my head, I can’t even believe they’d go there.
“You didn’t even listen to the plan,” Ret complains.
“Those things are loud as fuck and we’ll draw in every zombie from here to California. Are you serious right now?”
“If you’d just listen for once in your life maybe you’d understand,” growls Alex.
“Oh, and you’re gonna lecture me about listening? Because you're obviously the prince of patience over here…”
He goes to retort, but Wyatt jumps in. “Listen for a sec, okay? Ret might be onto something. The hunting quads are built for work loads, not sport. I was a fish and game officer before all this and we used
to use these models to patrol sometimes. They're not much louder than the suv, but they don’t use nearly the same amount of gas, even counting all three.”
Chewing on my lip, I think over what exactly he’s proposing. “So, you’re saying we can each take a quad, get in and get out with minimal noise?”
He grins. “Exactly. Plus, if we took the suv, we’d all be in one vehicle, and if a horde surrounds us, Nina’s fucked. At least with the three of us on separate vehicles, that’s three separate chances to get the meds back here.”
Shaking my head in bewilderment, I can’t help but think this plan might not be so stupid after all. “And you’re sure they aren’t too loud?”
“Trust me,” Wyatt says confidently. “I rode these things all over a national park and never spooked the animals, we’ll be fine.”
After a few moments of silence, I decide we can’t waste anymore time. “Okay, I’m in. Let’s get these things gassed up and out of here, Nina’s looking worse every minute we waste standing around with our thumbs up our asses.”
Turning on my heel, I head over to the section with the display vehicles with the others on my heel. Someone murmurs from behind, “She’s got such a way with words…” I hear a soft thud, like someone punching someone else, and it makes me grin.
Chapter ☣ 14
Alex
After gassing up the quads, Wyatt, Helana and I roll them to the front doors. Dante and Beretta help shove things out of the way so we can squeeze through. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch as Hell kneels down to Anubis, whose tail is tucked between his legs as he whines.
Hell murmurs to him in hushed tones, and I don’t know why she even bothers. He’s a dog, for fuck’s sake. It’s not like he actually knows what she’s saying. Still, I can't help but watch the way she strokes his head lovingly and scratches behind his ears while she apologises for leaving him behind. It’s obvious to everyone how much she loves that beast of an animal, and it's obvious that Anubis would die for his human.