He turns around and glares at me, and I’ve seen that look in his eyes before, and it should scare me, but after everything I’ve been through it doesn’t. Not anymore. ‘Did you not hear what I just said? You don’t get to tell me what to do. How to act.’ He rips the top off the beer but he doesn’t take a drink, and my eyes never leave his as he walks over to me, my stomach turning over and over in a mixture of nerves and fear. ‘Me, on the other hand – you do as I say, sweetheart. You got that?’ He tucks a finger under my chin and smiles a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. ‘You take one step outta line, princess, and we’re gonna have a problem.’
‘Fuck you!’ I hiss, grabbing his wrist and pushing his hand away but he’s faster and stronger than me, and before I can even take another breath he’s pinned me back against the counter, his face right up in mine, the whiskey on his breath almost suffocating me.
‘No, you see, you’re not playing by the rules now, darlin’.’
But I’m not completely at a disadvantage here, and as I raise my knee the kick to his groin I dole out takes him by surprise as he doubles over and staggers backwards. The bottle he was holding drops to the floor, glass shattering and beer spilling all over the tiles and I watch as he slowly raises himself upright, the laugh he gives verging on maniacal.
‘You really wanna play this game, huh?’
‘What the hell was that with Mack tonight?’
His face darkens again, and I reach behind me, my fingers gripping the edge of the countertop. ‘What do you care?’
‘I care about you, Zeb. Or is that not allowed either?’
He pushes both hands through his hair and walks towards me again, and again I feel my stomach react, my heart pounding away behind my ribs. ‘Do you still want him, Izzi?’
‘Jesus Christ, Zeb, just go to bed and sleep this shitty mood of yours off, OK?’
‘You don’t get to tell me what to do, remember? How many times I gotta repeat myself, darlin’, ‘cause I ain’t a fan of that, I gotta tell you.’
‘Whatever I say you’re not going to believe me anyway, are you? Not when you’re like this. You want to act like some adolescent schoolboy? I’ll treat you like one…’
His hand cups my cheek, and he cocks his head as he stares at me. ‘He still wants you, princess. Oh, he stood there and he told me he don’t want you no more but I can tell the son-of-a-bitch was lying. To my fucking face. He still wants you. And I think you still want him…’
I push his hand off me and walk away, and he doesn’t follow. But he doesn’t leave it alone, either.
‘I don’t think you ever stopped wanting him, Izzi. I don’t think that happened, I…’
I swing around and stare at him, yeah, I’m angry. I’m fucking angry now. Why? Because my drunk, jackass of a husband has hit a nerve? ‘You know nothing, Zeb. So just leave this, OK? You’re drunk. You’ve had a bad night. You’ve got something on your mind you obviously don’t want to talk about…’
He’s on me in a second, his hand on my neck as he pushes me back against the table. ‘Damn right I got something on my mind. You don’t know the fucking half of it, darlin’.’
‘Then tell me.’
‘Ain’t got nothing to do with you.’
‘I’m just something you use to take your frustration out on, huh? I don’t need to know why, I don’t have that right. Is that how this works?’
‘You might wanna learn when to keep that smart mouth shut, Izzi.’
‘I’m not your fucking punchbag, Zeb. Go find someone else to take your shit out on.’
His mouth crashes down onto mine but I push him off, I don’t want this. I don’t want him, like this.
‘You’re my wife, Izzi. I don’t need no-one else.’
‘But you think I do?’
‘I think you should learn when to leave shit alone.’
‘Oh, OK. I get it. You’re still pissed at me because I broke up your playground fight with Mack, huh? Is that it?’
‘Don’t fucking push me, Izzi. Don’t do that, baby.’
‘Don’t threaten me, Zeb, because I don’t listen to that kind of crap.’
‘Maybe you should. Maybe then you’d start learning how to be a proper old lady.’
‘You think an old lady’s role is to be beat on and talked down to like some low-life piece of shit? Even you know that isn’t true, Zeb. You know that.’
‘And how much support you shown me tonight, huh? How much, Izzi? Nothing. You don’t even show up for five fucking minutes. What you do instead, darlin’? Drink my bourbon, open your legs and bring yourself off while you think about Mack Slayer? That what you do, instead of being with me?’
‘You didn’t want me tonight, Zeb.’
‘Don’t tell me what the fuck I want, Izzi.’
‘And don’t assume you think you know what’s going on in my head, are we even yet?’
‘You’re fucking pushing me so hard here, princess…’
I look up into his dark eyes, and they’re still blazing, there’s an anger behind them that’s still waiting to rise to the surface, but I’m not scared. Something’s made him this way, because I know this isn’t him. This isn’t how he is with me, and I wish he’d stop talking about Mack, stop mentioning his name because I don’t think that’s it. I don’t think him bringing up what he thinks me and Mack still feel for each other is the problem here. There’s something else that’s messing with his head, something else that’s been a catalyst for all the uneccessary vitriol he’s spouting. ‘And you’ve never been pushed before?’
His face breaks into a slow smile, his fingers gently stroking my neck, and my stomach flips for a completely different reason now. And then I reach behind and find the bottle of bourbon I’d put down earlier, bringing it to my lips, and I take a long draft, the dark-amber liquid burning as it slides down my throat and settles in my belly. And he laughs and takes the bottle from me, downing a mouthful himself before he slams it back down on the table.
‘You don’t want Mack Slayer no more, huh?’
I don’t reply. Because I’m scared of the answer?
‘Tell me the truth, Izzi.’ His mouth is almost touching mine and all I can hear is my heart beating like a jackhammer now, so loud it’s deafening! ‘Do you want Mack Slayer?’
‘Fuck. You.’
He laughs again, and I do nothing as he rips open my robe and violently shoves a hand between my legs, but I still don’t give him the reaction I think he’s looking for. Instead I continue to stare into his eyes, almost challenging him, and I’m not sure how dangerous that could turn out to be but whatever he’s looking for here, whatever answers he wants me to give, he isn’t going to hear them. He’s not getting them. The rise he’s looking for, it’s not happening. And I don’t even flinch as he roughly fingers me, probing and pushing and even when he delves into me I don’t react, but it’s hard, because he’s hurting me slightly.
And then his mouth’s on mine and I feel all that anger and frustration rise to the surface, exploding out of me as I pull at his hair and bite down on his lip and his fingers thrust deeper into me, the pain burning through me but I crave it now. I need it, I want it. I want him, God help me. Yeah, I want him, like this, now.
He pulls his fingers out of me and lifts me up onto the table, his hands on my knees pushing my legs apart and he’s inside me within seconds, I don’t even have time to draw breath. He thrusts into me with a force so hard it rocks me backwards, and I wrap my legs around him to keep myself steady, leaning back slightly to take him deeper, crying out as he pushes so hard into me I feel every inch of him inside…
Zeb
Man, I am so fucking angry, so frustrated with all the shit that’s gone down today. And as I feel my cock sink inside my girl that anger and frustration seems to intensify until it’s almost seeping into her, and I love that she’s fighting me, that her fingers claw at my skin, that she’s drawn blood as she bites down on my lip. I love that she’s pulled me so deep inside her I can fee
l my balls slamming against her as I pound into her.
I lean forward and take her nipple in my mouth, nipping it with my teeth and she cries out, and I almost pull out of her completely before thrusting my cock back into her with a force that slams her into the table and makes her cry out again.
I’m pissed at her for fighting my battles. I’m pissed that this crap with Kes is making me rethink everything about Mack and Izzi when she ain’t given me no reason to think she still has feelings for him. But now I can’t get that shit outta my head. And I wasn’t lying when I told Mack I see the way he looks at her, ‘cause I do. I don’t miss the way his eyes linger on her, looking her up and down and wishing she was still his. I see that. So, yeah, I’m pissed. And I don’t want to come inside her tonight, which is unusual, because I love pumping my shit into her. So the second I feel myself about to explode I pull out and shoot a torrent of cum over her stomach, spasm after spasm pumping out over her tanned skin and I need her to come too, now. I didn’t before, but I guess watching my cum drip from her wide-open pussy has done something to me, and I reach out and touch her, sliding my fingers over her until I find her clit, and as she slips a hand around the back of my neck and pulls me to her, kissing me like I ain’t ever been kissed before, I push four fingers inside her and rub her clit with the heel of my palm until she comes like an angel all over my hand. And I keep my fingers inside her until the spasms subside and her body slows down, and then I pull out. And I walk away.
She gives great sex.
But that’s all I want her for tonight.
Chapter Six
Izzi
Something feels different today. I woke up and he wasn’t there and I was glad, because I can’t forget what he said last night; how he accused me of still having feelings for Mack, of still wanting Mack. And I still don’t know whether I’m angry because I still think he might have hit a nerve, or because I saw a side of him that I didn’t like. I don’t know. And then I remember the things Mack said to me yesterday, and I know that even if I did still feel anything for him, it would be pointless. Too many things stand in our way now. Too much has happened. We can’t go back, even if we wanted to. And then I feel my stomach jolt up into my throat as something hits me; a realization I hadn’t thought of before. What if Mack does still want me? What if he only said those things to me because he knows we can’t ever be together. Is he trying to push me away because he has to? Because it would be dangerous to do anything else? And I don’t even know why I’m thinking about this, I don’t want Mack Slayer anymore, I don’t need him. And he doesn’t need me. He doesn’t. So, whatever he’s doing, I think he’s probably doing it to keep us both safe.
I turn into the compound and pull up in front of the clubhouse. I needed a ride this morning, to clear my head. To think straight. And as I climb off my bike and lay my helmet down on the seat, I hear Mack’s voice, and I look over towards the small workshop over on the other side of the yard. He’s talking to Hal, who’s busy working on one of the many Harleys the club members ride, and I watch as Mack says something and Hal shakes his head and Mack throws his back in an almost exasperated manner. And then I turn away as Mack starts to stride across the compound towards the clubhouse, and as he walks past I keep my head down because I can’t look at him. I don’t want to, because I don’t need the confusion, neither of us do. He said what he did for a reason. And I think he’s right – we need to keep our distance, for both our sakes.
Mack
I head straight to my room at the back of the clubhouse and close the door behind me, leaning back against it and closing my eyes as it hits me. The decision I have to make, I wasn’t sure before, but I am now. I know what I have to do, what I need to do. And I’m fucking terrified, yeah, men with guns don’t bother me but this – this is something I ain’t ever done before, I don’t know this; what I might actually have to do.
I pull a cigarette from my cut pocket and light up, taking a deep drag before I take out my phone and punch in her number. It rings out, and I hang up and try again. She ain’t answering, and I feel everything from anger to frustration and something else I gotta control because the time ain’t right yet. I can’t do this, yet. But I need to talk to her. I gotta do that before I do anything else. But she ain’t fucking answering. I hang up a second time, then try again but I’m getting nothing.
‘Shit!’
I throw the phone down onto the bed and sink to the floor, dragging my hands back through my hair. This girl’s got me so messed-up I don’t know what I’m doing no more. And I vowed that’d never happen again, that I wouldn’t let her do that, again. So I can either change all that, or I can make sure that what I need to happen is brought forward, so we can all move on. All of us…
Izzi
I couldn’t answer his call. I don’t want this to happen, it can’t. He doesn’t get to confuse me, and I don’t want to hurt him again. I’ve hurt him enough, and like I said, he deserves better than me. So I have to suck it up and make things right with Zeb. If I knew where the hell he was, because his bike isn’t here. And I get straight back on mine because I know Mack’s only inside, and he might come looking for me, to see why I didn’t answer my phone, and I’m not ready for that conversation. I need to find Zeb…
Zeb
‘Is he right, Sam? Is my father telling me the fucking truth?’
I had to confront him, had to find out if what Kes told me is true because I’m still struggling to get my head around this shit. And Sam, man, I thought I was one cold-hearted bastard but this guy – he’s made of freakin’ stone!
‘So, he thought coming to you first was a good idea, huh?’
‘Is it fucking true, Sam? ‘Cause I ain’t in no mood for games.’
‘I want him dead, yes.’
‘You’re still bearing a grudge? After all these years?’
He raises an eyebrow and walks over to a bag on the table. We’re in his basement, because that’s where he likes to stash his arsenal of weapons. He’s got this place kitted out just like our old one, a vast empty space filled with shelves and cupboards all housing guns and knives and Christ knows what else he’s got hidden away in here, I don’t always ask ‘cause I don’t always wanna know. Sometimes I wonder just how dangerous a man Sam really is. ‘You think I should just forget about what your father did?’ He reaches into the bag and pulls out a large, ash-black pistol, turning it over and over in his hand. And then he looks up at me. ‘Hmm? You want me to just let this go?’
‘I didn’t fucking say that, Sam.’
‘So, what do you want me to do, Zeb?’
‘I want you to tell me if he’s telling the truth. You want me to kill him?’
He says nothing for a beat or two and I watch as he continues to turn the gun over in his hand. ‘He’s telling the truth. Although, I have no idea how he worked that out. I guess your father is a more astute man than I give him credit for. Maybe we’re not that different after all.’
‘Why me, huh? Why not get another of your stooges to gun him down? Why involve me?’
‘You don’t think he should be punished? For what he did?’
‘Why now, huh? Why now, after all these years? Why didn’t you just kill him when you found out what he’d done?’
‘Because I was more concerned about getting to know my son, Zeb. Back then your father was nothing but a distraction, and I was feeling generous. I wanted to face him, see just who the man was; had he felt any guilt, any remorse… was he sorry for what he’d done? I wanted to see the brother I hadn’t even known I’d had.’
‘And? Did you see any guilt, or feel any remorse from him?’
‘No.’
‘So why let him go? Why not just deal with him there and then? Why all of this?’
‘I had other things on my mind, Zeb. And like I said, I was feeling generous. I decided to give Kes a second chance. And that’s where you came in. You come and work for me, and he gets to go some place I don’t know about. He gets to go live a life f
ar away from me, but what he didn’t tell you was that life of freedom was only going to last as long as he kept his head down. The second I knew where he was, it was over.’
I frown slightly, because this isn’t making any sense. ‘Huh? So, hang on… you told him to go, to keep his head down and… what the hell was this, Sam? Some twisted game of hide and seek?’
‘If you like, yes. In a way that’s exactly what it was. And now I’ve found him, the game’s over.’
‘You still haven’t explained why you want me to kill him.’
‘Because it’ll be a true test of your character, Zeb. And sometimes we all have to do something in this life that we aren’t completely at ease with.’
‘This ain’t my fight, Sam.’
‘Are you backing away from a challenge?’
‘This is messed-up…’
‘Everything we do is messed-up.’ He puts the gun down on the table and digs his hands in his pockets as he looks at me. ‘What did your father ever do for you, hmm? What do you owe him?’
‘This is crazy…’
‘Are you with me on this one, Zeb? Or not?’
‘You want an answer, just like that?’
He bows his head and laughs quietly before he raises his gaze. ‘I hear you and Mack had a little, altercation, shall we say, at the clubhouse last night.’
‘That man ain’t fit to be President.’
‘What makes you say that?’
‘He’s weak. He ain’t the man he used to be, his head’s all over the fucking place…’
‘Because of Izzi.’
He doesn’t phrase that as a question, and that pisses me off, big time. ‘He ain’t the man he used to be, Sam. I know what he was, how he used to operate, but now – now he wants to turn us into some kinda freakin’ boy scout hangout. You know about that, huh? How he wants to take us from outlaws to do-gooders? He tell you about church last night?’
Betrayed (Soldiers of Darkness MC Book 2) Page 6