by Cat Miller
“You can tell yourself that if you like, but I saw the way he looked at you when you weren’t paying attention. He was always about, watching you and waiting for his chance. He wanted you so badly he was willing to wait for you to get over me. The man was no fool. He was biding his time.”
Grace thought about her relationship Luke. He was her best friend still. Grace knew she could lean on him. Luke was always there for her. Always ready to be whatever she needed. But no, Luke would have told her if he wanted more than friendship, wouldn’t he? She changed the subject.
“I hated seeing that supermodel friend of yours. I hated her for no reason at all. Are you still friends?” Grace sincerely hoped they were still so chummy.
“I really don’t know what happened to her. Just like Victor, after college we just drifted apart. I haven’t heard from her in years.”
Grace cringed at the mention of Victor. She didn’t want to go there at all. It was quiet for a few minutes but Grace sensed Jack was building up to something. His body was tensing up.
“When I walked into the bar tonight to see that guy with his hands on you it was all I could do not to rip off his arms and stuff them down his throat,” Jack said, and Grace was taken aback by the mental image. Jack’s eyes were dark with anger and nearly green with jealousy. “I just got you back. After all these years I had you close enough to touch and that prick was holding you instead of me.”
“It was just a dance, Jack,” she defended. Why did she suddenly feel guilty? She could dance with whomever she chose. It wasn’t as if Jack had given her a reason to hope he would care one way or the other.
“It was more than a dance.” Jack backed her into the wall and ran his hands from her shoulders, down the sides of her breast and onto her hips. Grace shivered. His touch had the power to undo her.
“It was no simple dance, Grace.” He slid his hands down her thigh to the bottom of her little dress and stroked her skin. She shivered again. His fingers slid back up her hip under the skirt and stopped to toy with the thin strip of fabric of her thong. “He was trying to get into these pretty little panties, Grace.”
Grace blushed. It was true that Will had been flirting hard. He wanted more than just a dance and she knew it. Jack’s expression darkened further. His hand slipped around to her belly and the tips of his finger barely brushed the top of her sex. He kissed her then, deep and hard. He possessed her mouth roughly, nipping and tugging at her lips and she allowed it. She was his. She knew it and she suspected he knew it now too. His fingers slid lower until one digit brushed over her swollen clit. Grace’s hips jerked.
“This is mine, do you hear me? Mine,” he said vehemently. Grace just nodded. She couldn’t deny the truth. Jack’s hands quickly moved to strip her out of her clothes. It was like he’d only been waiting for Grace to admit once and for all that she belonged to him before he claimed her again. She was still reeling from his intimate touch and possessive words, standing there in a daze when he bent to remove her shoes. He got back to his feet and quickly shucked his pants and boxers.
Grace’s hands rose without her permission to take grasp of Jack’s stiff erection. He had a long thick cock with a wide delicious head that she wanted to lick and suck. They’d been together in the past but she’d never really had a chance to look at him and appreciate the beauty of his naked form. She stroked him a few times until Jack wrapped his hand around hers to stop the motion.
“Not yet, baby.” He shuddered. “I want to take my time with you now. If you do that too much longer, I’m going to come on the fucking floor.” He tugged her into the shower and the jets of warm water massaged her from both sides. Jack lathered up a cloth and began to wash her skin. She watched the water running over his skin in fascination. She reached for the soap, wanting the opportunity to touch him as well. Her hands searched and found every dip and ridge of his shoulders, arms, and chest but he stopped her when she tried to move lower. Jack’s cock was huge and pointing directly at her. She wanted to explore but Jack stepped back.
“Not yet.” He grinned and turned her to face away from him. He continued to wash her body and Grace’s breath caught when he began to soap her pussy. It was aching with need and she knew it wouldn’t take much to make her come.
“I’ve never had sex without a condom.” He told her as he washed her sticky thighs. He’d fucked her in the alley and she hadn’t even thought about protection. It wasn’t until they were in the car and the evidence of their loving was soaking her panties that she’d thought of it.
“I haven’t either,” she admitted. “Not even once. I’m on the shot. I have been since I was in high school.”
“Good,” he licked her neck and pressed his cock into her ass cheeks. “It was so fucking hot. You felt so amazing skin to skin. I want to do that again and again.” He turned her to face him. “Is that okay?” He searched her face.
“Yes. I trust you,” she told him suddenly feeling shy. Jack dropped to his knees in the shower before her and looked up at her and all of the love she’d prayed for was there in his eyes for her to see.
“I’ve wanted to do this since our first time on the hood of my car. Let me taste this sweet heaven, baby. I want your come running down my throat.” He pulled her hips forward and nuzzled her pussy. “I like that you have a little hair now. I remember you used to shave.” His tongue slipped out and lapped at her labia. She moaned and pressed herself against his mouth.
Grace had shaved herself completely for a long time. When she started dating Rick he made a comment about feeling like he was fucking a pre-adolescent instead of a grown woman. So she started landscape rather than shaving completely. But she didn’t want to think about Rick or anyone else while Jack loved her. So she didn’t respond. Honestly she didn’t think she could. Jack sucked her lips into his mouth one at a time. She thought her legs would give out.
Jack pressed her against the cool stone wall in the center of the shower. Water poured over her body from both sides. Jack lifted her leg to rest her knee over his shoulder. She watched him in breathless anticipation while he examined her pussy. His thumb spread the lips for his full view.
“All mine,” he growled and pressed his face against her.
Jack sucked and nibbled her until she was blind with need. She was clutching his hair and pleading for more. Jack latched onto her clit then and sucked it between his lips. His tongue flicked the nub while she was writhing against his face. Jack slid his hand between her legs and plunged two fingers into her pussy, moving in circles a few times before he found what he was looking for. He pressed on the front wall of her vagina, honing in on her g-spot and stroked it. She screamed and the world blurred as she came. Jack moved his mouth to her opening and lapped up all her wet passion. Jack got to his feet and she collapsed against him. He shut off the water and lifted her into his arms. Still dripping, he carried her to the bed.
“I’m all wet,” she told him as if maybe he hadn’t noticed. Jack climbed over and settled himself between her legs. The look of pure hunger on his lovely face scorched her.
“I can’t wait to be inside of you again.” He positioned himself at her opening, but he paused and took a deep breath. “Are you sure about the condoms? I can find one.” He looked in pain but he was still thinking of her feelings and needs. It warmed her all over again. Grace was on the pill and she was clean. If Jack said he’d never had unprotected sex she would believe him. After their time against the wall in the alley it was too late to worry about it tonight.
She lifted her hips and he slid into her an inch. “Come into me, Jack. Please, I need you now.”
“Oh, fuck, Grace,” he cursed and slid home in one steady motion.
Jack was well endowed but she was slick from her orgasm and her body accepted his invasion with little resistance. Jack moved slowly in and out of her soaking sheath. He took her face into his hands and held her gaze. It was so intimate, so overwhelming that she wanted to hide but he wouldn’t let her.
“I lo
ve you, Grace. I’ve always loved you,” he vowed.
“I love you. I think I’ve loved you since the first time you kissed me,” she admitted and her eyes filled with tears.
“Don’t cry, baby.” He kissed her eyes, her chin, and her mouth. “We’re together now. I want us to stay together if you’ll still have me.”
He set up a steady rhythm then and continued to look into her eyes. Grace wrapped her legs around Jack’s hips. The change in position had him hitting her just right. The crown of his thick cock rubbed over that perfect spot with every withdrawal. Grace’s pussy rippled and Jack’s mouth opened with a hiss of air. One more thrust and she was coming in violent spasms around his cock.
“Jack. Jack. Jack.” She called his name over and over. Jack powered through her orgasm gritting his teeth and panting.
“Grace! I love you!” He thrust deep one more time and held himself there as his seed poured into her body. His eyes finally drifted shut as the orgasm carried him away. He shuddered against her. Grace held him to her chest. She never wanted to let go. Never.
Jack woke her several times during the night to make love to her again. The first time he woke her they’d moved slowly, intently absorbing every sweet caress. The next time they woke had been a claiming. There was no other way to describe the way Jack had taken her body. In the wee hours of the morning she climbed out of bed to take a shower while he slept. She was sticky and her muscles ached from their exertions. It was a good ache that she hoped would never go away.
After her shower she quietly slipped back into bed and watched Jack sleep. It was a little stalker-ish, but Grace had been longing for the sight of Jack for so many years, the chance to look her fill was too good to let pass. She eventually drifted off. When she woke again Jack was watching her. She grinned. He grinned back and kissed her sweetly. Jack gave her a t-shirt to put on. He slid on a pair of running shorts and together they went to the kitchen for coffee and toast. It was so comfortable just being there with Jack. Grace thought that was odd since they’d been separated for so long. Jack pulled out the coffee and filter. Grace got it brewing while Jack made toast. He set out an unopened jar of apple butter. Jack didn’t like apple butter, but he remembered that she loved it on her toast. She had to wonder if Matthew liked it too. She was hoping he’d bought it for her in hopes that he’d be feeding her breakfast at some point.
They climbed the stairs hand in hand and went back to bed. This time they both seemed content to just lounge in each other’s company with the news quietly playing in the background. They needed to talk but neither seemed eager to ruin the morning with memories or past hurt feelings. Grace was propped against the headboard and Jack’s head rested on a pillow at the foot of the bed. They were quiet for a long time and Grace feared he was regretting his words of love. She needed to understand his true feelings. So she dove in head first.
“Rachel thought you were gay,” she informed him.
He nodded. “I know. She told me she was surprised by my attraction to you. It’s not something we ever spoke about. It was a non-subject. It didn’t matter to her who I dated. She’s my dearest friend. She just wanted me to be happy, as I wanted her to be happy. I never said ‘look at that, Rachel, you’re heterosexual.’ And she never felt the need to clarify my attraction to men. We’ve always just been there for each other, no matter who else was in our lives.”
“I really like her,” Grace told him.
“I do too,” he told her, and she could hear the smile in his voice. That made her smile. She was so glad Jack had had a true friend to support him, but she couldn’t let it drop there. Something Rachel told her was nagging the back of Grace’s mind. Why hadn’t Rachel ever seen him with a woman?
“She said she’d never seen you with a woman. That sounds . . . unbelievable. Were you hiding those relationships?”
Jack propped himself up on his elbows and frowned at her. “Why would I hide anything from anyone, Grace? Did I ever hide anything from you?”
“Only that one time when you didn’t want me to go home with you for your father’s funeral,” she reminded him.
Jack’s scowl melted. “I still regret not telling you Victor had invited himself to go. I just knew it would hurt you if I told you he was going, so I wasn’t comfortable with you going. I was already dealing with too much after my father’s death.”
“I understand that now. At the time I thought I was going to be your savior, idiot that I was. Hearing the truth wouldn’t have hurt nearly as badly as being confronted by the lie. I fly across the country to comfort you, only to be informed that I was nothing but a piece of ass.”
Grace deepened her voice to imitate Victor’s deep tone. “He occasionally gets a taste for pussy . . . So do I, it’s no big deal. I just thought you should know . . . Maybe I should fuck you and see what the fuss is about. Would you let me bend you over my car, sweet little Grace?”
Jack sat straight up in bed. “Who the fuck said that shit?” he growled.
“That was Victor’s way of helping me understand my place, or lack thereof in your life.”
“I’ll kill him! I will find him, and I will murder him!” Jack leapt from the bed and began to pace the floor.
Grace was distracted by the play of muscles across his broad shoulders and thick arms. She sat up and wrapped her arms around her bare legs.
“It doesn’t matter now, Jack. What’s past is past. But I do think he knew what he was doing in the club that night. I hadn’t tattled on him. Maybe I should have. I gave him the opportunity to prove to me that he was right. Can you imagine how hard it would be to continue a relationship with you when I knew he was still in the picture? Especially after the things he said to me. That night in the club when you let him lead you away I felt like that was what my whole life was going to feel like.” Grace’s eyes burned with the tears of remembered pain and her voice cracked. Jack stopped pacing to look at her. “I knew then that I would never be enough for you. I couldn’t compete. I didn’t want to have to compete for your love. That was the hardest night of my life.” A tear trailed down her cheek. It was better that they air all of their feelings now if they were going to move on. She hoped getting it out would help her let it all go.
Jack climbed back into bed and wrapped his arms around her. He stroked her hair while she shed tears she’d been holding inside for far too long. When she lifted her head Jack’s eyes were glassy too. Grace got herself together. The time for mourning the past was long gone. It kind of annoyed her that she’d let those old emotions have so much power.
“Let me answer your original question.” Jack kissed the top of her head and took a deep breath. “Rachel thought I was gay, because I haven’t been with a woman since you left me.”
Grace’s mouth fell open. She leaned back to look at him. “What?”
“It’s true. I just couldn’t do it. Being with men was okay, but being with a woman was too much like cheating.” He cleared his throat uncomfortably and looked away. “I mean, I know you left me and I was free to do what I wanted. But my heart wasn’t free. I couldn’t cheat on you with another woman. That’s ridiculous. It makes no sense. But there it is. That’s why Rachel thought I was gay.”
Grace thought her heart would pound out of her chest. It wasn’t ridiculous. It was heartbreaking. They’d wasted so much time. She wouldn’t waste anymore. She was done worrying about the past.
“That’s incredible. I don’t even know what to say.” She hugged him tight. She had one more question to ask before she could truly let go and love Jack with everything she had. “I just have one more question.” Jack played with a lock of her hair while he waited for her to get up the nerve to ask her question.
“Are you ready for this? I haven’t changed my mind, Jack. I want monogamy. Unless you think you can handle me sleeping with other men too?” Grace had absolutely no intention of being with anyone else. They would be monogamous or they wouldn’t be together. Jack stiffened and rolled on top of her, glowering do
wn at her. She knew he’d react this way. He was already jealous of Luke, and Luke had never been more than a friend.
“No-fucking-body is touching you but me,” he growled. “You got that?”
“I got it.” She grinned. “As long you can promise me the same fidelity.”
“You’re fucking baiting me and I’m trying to be serious. This isn’t a game.” He was really angry. That pissed her off.
“I’m being serious, too, Jack! Do you think I like the idea of not being enough for you?” She pushed him off of her and rolled out of the bed. She needed to leave before this turned ugly. Maybe she wasn’t ready to let go of the past. Her emotions were all over the charts. One minute she was ready to move on, the next she was caught in the past and terrified of getting hurt again.
She found her dress in the bathroom and slid it over her head after ripping off Jack’s t-shirt. He stood in the doorway watching her, his shorts were slung low on his hips and she tried not to notice how fucking sexy that was. It just pissed her off more that she couldn’t even look at him without thinking of sex. His chest was slightly heaving with agitation.
“Most of all, do you think I would ever want to deprive you of a single ounce of happiness? I need you to be really sure, Jack. I believe that you love me, I really do. But will that be enough for you? I’m terrified that one day you’ll resent me, hate me even, for making you choose.” She pushed past him and hunted for her shoes.
“I’m not a fucking confused kid anymore, Grace. I know you don’t understand what life is like for a young bisexual person, but let me clue you in. It’s like loving both chocolate and vanilla ice cream. It’s okay to have both for a while, but one day you will have to choose and after you pick one flavor over the other, that’s it for the rest of your life. Once you've committed to chocolate you can never, ever have vanilla again. I wasn’t ready to choose when I was only twenty-one. I had so much life to live.”
Grace was staring at him from the opposite side of the bed. “You do know that it’s no different for straight people, right? Once you commit you can never dip your spoon into another quart of ice cream, no matter the flavor. I understand that you weren’t ready seven years ago. That isn’t the issue here. I also know that you were ready six months ago. Matthew held your heart. So forgive me if vanilla feels a little unsure about her security when you should have been married to chocolate by now. I just want you to be sure, Jack, because I love you too much to survive losing you again.”