by Holt, Leah
From the corner of my eye, I watched her as she tugged off petal after petal, releasing each one into the wind. Following the white petal, it floated to the ground, landing on the dirt road as we walked.
And for a brief second I was tempted to pick it up. That petal was so clean, so pure, it didn't belong on the dirty ground, where it was going to get crushed into the sand by a tire.
“He loves me,” she finally said, her words bold. “Only two petals left.” A light smile tickled her lips as she gripped the next to last petal. With a little twist, it broke free. “He loves me not.”
“What are you doing?” Quirking a brow, wrinkles creased my forehead.
“He loves me.” Snapping the last petal off the bud, Blue clutched it between her fingertips.
“Who?”
Blue smirked, taking the single petal and gently tucking it into the pocket on her shorts. “You.”
Stopping short, I held up my hand. “What? I never said that.”
“Relax, it's just a game, Jayden.” Giggling, she patted her pocket as she tossed the bare stem into the grass.
“It's a stupid game, that's what that is.”
“Are you blushing?” she asked, her mouth twisting into a satisfied smile.
“No, I just think that's a dumb game. You can't know someone loves you from picking flower petals. It's ridiculous.”
Blue pulled the basket up on her arm, adjusting it against her hip. “For someone who thinks it's dumb, you sound nervous. Is it true then? Do you love me and you're just afraid to admit it?”
“I don't believe in love, just like I don't believe in fate.”
“Everyone feels love, it's not about believing in it.”
“Well, I don't.”
“You say that now, but one day you're going to love me, Jayden Henry, I know you will.”
“Don't get your hopes up, all of that stuff is just bullshit, love isn't real.”
Walking forward, Blue's body language was pretty easy to read; she was annoyed with me. Her head snapped straight, staring up the road, her back went rigid, shoulders pulling back hard.
“What? Are you mad now because of what I said about your game?”
“No,” she whispered into the air, the word finding me as she moved a little faster and the wind carried it over her shoulder.
“Then what is it? Why are you acting like this?”
Twisting sharply, Blue's chin crooked to the side. “Maybe it's because you refuse to trust in anything you can't see. The world doesn't always fit into the little box you want it to, and sometimes, bad things happen, but that doesn't mean you have to stop believing in things.”
“I'm sorry, Blue, it's hard for me, you know that.”
“I do,” she said, her smile returning as she kept her face forward. “And that's why I'm going to prove you wrong. I'm going to make you love me, Jayden, one way or another.”
Chapter Five
Jayden
Sixteen years old
“Blue!” I called out, doing my best to still remain as silent as a shadow. Picking up a small stone, I threw it at her window.
Clink
Nothing.
Grabbing another stone, I threw it a little harder, not too hard, but enough to make sure it made a noticeable noise.
Clink
“Blue!” Straining my voice, I scrunched my face, dropping down and snatching another rock. “Wake up, Blue!”
Clink
Taking a big step back, I stood up on my toes, trying to look inside her window. I couldn't see shit, the window was a story over my head and it was well past midnight.
Resting my hands on my hips, I hung my head, unsure if I was going to be able to wake her up. There was only so much I could do. I couldn't climb up to her window, I couldn't ring the doorbell, and I couldn't call her on the phone.
Damn, she ain't budging.
Stooping to pick up another pebble and give it one last try, the light popped on. Stepping back a little with a smile on my face, I spotted Blue as she approached the glass, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.
Opening the window, she leaned over the sill with a yawn. “What are you doing here, Jayden Henry? Do you realize what time it is?” she asked, tipping her head into her shoulder as she whispered.
“I know how to tell time, Betty- Sue Fable.”
“Don't call me that,” she snapped, her eyes narrowing as she glared down.
She hated her name, and she hated it even more when I said it out loud. I liked to say her name just to get under her skin. Teasing Blue never got old.
Smirking, I looked back over my shoulder into the darkness as I spoke. “Come down, I want to show you something.”
Pressing her hands into the windowsill, Blue leaned forward more, peering down at me. “Shh, you'll wake up my parents.”
Waving my hand, I asked her again quietly. “Come on, I want to show you something.”
“I wish I could.” Blue shook her head no, her smile growing as she bit her bottom lip. “But you know I can't, I'll get in trouble if I get caught.”
“It'll be worth it.”
“Will it?”
“Come on.” Pushing out my bottom lip, I pouted. “Please. . . For me?”
Blue looked over her shoulder, checking to make sure she was still alone in her room. I could see it in her eyes, in the way she tapped her fingers against the windowsill, she was debating what to do.
She wanted to come with me, I knew she did, but Blue was still that good girl, she did her best to follow the rules and hated getting in trouble. She was fourteen years old and I had only been able to get her to break her curfew once.
Her parents were furious, they grounded her for three weeks. It was horrible not being able to see her for that long. I tried to get her to talk to me out her window, but her father caught me trying to get her attention and chased me off, adding another week to her sentence.
Gregory Fable might have been a pastor, he might have been a vessel for the lord and summoned his strength from the holy man above. But he was also a father, and that was his little angel. No amount of heavenly strength could remove that from any man.
His daughter came first. And when he found out his princess was hanging around with an older boy, a boy who had convinced her to disregard the rules, he didn't hide that anger.
I could see it in his face, I could see it in the thick vein that throbbed on his neck, I could see it as he threw his fist in the air and gritted his teeth.
Every ounce of faith that man had took a backseat as his inner father took charge to protect his baby girl from this monster of a boy.
Blue plucked at her lip, her eyes darting between mine. “What do you want to show me?”
“It's a secret.”
“Secrets can get me grounded.”
The corner of my lip pulled up as I smirked. “Secrets are what make life worth living.”
“No, that's love.”
“Love is what drives the secrets. So—” I said, flicking my head towards the cornfield. “Let's share a secret.”
Blue's eyes lit up as she tucked her chin into her chest. Pursing her lips, she straightened her back. “Alright, I'll be right down.” Disappearing out of view, the room turned to black.
Waiting against the line of tall stalks, I watched the porch. The front light was on above the door, casting a glow that spread down the steps and across the grass. Pacing back and forth, I kept looking for her, hoping that she would make it undetected.
My heart was beating faster and faster the more time passed and I was still alone. Hopefully she hadn't gotten caught on her way out the door.
The soft creak of the door opened and shut, causing me to stop moving and stand taller. Her shadow seeped out across the ground as she came down the steps and around the corner.
It was funny, the size of her shadow could scare a grown man, but behind it was a petite girl, with messy hair, walking in a long nightgown that was covered in small purple flowers and bare feet.
“Where are your shoes, Blue?”
“You didn't say I needed shoes.”
“How do you expect walk?” I asked as she stopped in front of me with that cute, dimpled smile on her face.
“Same as you, one foot in front of the other.” Lifting the bottom hem of her nightgown, she rocked on her toes. “Only smoother, because I'm not as clumsy as some people.”
“That was one time,” I said, holding up my finger. “One time. You'll never let me live that down, will you?”
“Nope, why would I?” Blue ran her fingers through her hair, brushing the ends. “You tripped over nothing, not even your feet. You just went down, landing flat on your face.”
“I was dizzy from you spinning me on that tire.”
“Oh is that why? That's the excuse this time? I thought it was because of the invisible root?”
“Don't be a smart ass.” Grinning, I turned around and dropped to one knee. “Hop on.”
“I'm not climbing on your back, I can walk on my own.”
“I know, but this will be quicker. Get on.” Looking at her over my shoulder, I tapped my back. “Let's go, we don't have all night.”
Blue giggled, jumping up and wrapping her arms and legs around me. “Have it your way, but no complaining if I get too heavy.”
“I think I'll be fine.” Standing, I gripped her legs around her knees and started into the cornfield. “We need to move or we're going to miss it.”
“Miss what?”
“I told you, it's a secret.”
Blue dug her fingers into my chest, resting her chin in the crook of my neck. “Get going then, I don't have all night.” Giggling into my ear, she snuggled her face against mine.
Her skin was warm and soft, so so soft. I was always amazed at how soft her skin was when we touched. Sometimes I would even brush against her on purpose just to feel her skin. But I always played it off as an accident, she didn't need to know I enjoyed touching her as much as I did.
Moving through the field, I cut across to the tree line that created the east border. The moon was high in the sky, shining bright, creating plenty of light for me to use. Stopping, I adjusted her on my back, giving her a jolt to send her up higher.
“I can walk you know, it won't kill me.”
“I know, but we don't have much time, it took me forever to get you up.”
Kicking her feet out, she slapped my outer thigh. “Giddy up then.”
Dipping into the trees, I dodged as many bushes and tree trunks as I could. The light was dimmer under the cloak of the canopy, so my paced had to slow.
“How far in are we going?” she asked, her lips inadvertently brushing the curve of my ear as her body bounced around with my steps.
A shiver ran down my neck, causing the thin hairs to prickle. “Not too much farther, it's just up over the ridge. You're going to love this.”
Blue kissed my cheek, nuzzling her cheek close to mine. “I don't care what it is, I'm just happy to be with you.”
Smiling, I twisted and kissed her cheek back. “I know.”
Blue slapped my chest as she scoffed. “You're so full of yourself.”
“Can you blame me? Not only am I really good looking, but I have the prettiest girlfriend in town.”
“Awe,” Blue cooed, tightening her arms around my chest. “How did I get so lucky?”
Shrugging a shoulder, I chuckled. “I think you have that backwards.”
“Stop, you don't give yourself enough credit.” Hugging me tighter, she whispered into my ear. “After everything you've been through, you've turned out to be an amazing person.”
“If I'm so amazing, then why does your dad still hate me?”
“That's easy, it's because you're my boyfriend. I bet every father in the world has a hard time with that.”
“Maybe, but it's not like he doesn't know who I am.”
“Did you ever think the issue is that he does think he knows who you are?”
She's right. It's not like my name doesn't come with baggage.
“We're here.” Bending down, Blue slid off my back, dropping onto the tips of her toes.
“And where is here?”
“Old Turner Woods, just past Fletcher's Rock.”
“But there's nothing out here, nothing but trees.”
“That's where you're wrong.” Taking her hand, I guided her to the edge of a large open valley. “Look.”
“I am looking. All I see are black trees and an even blacker sky.”
“Look closer.” Stepping behind her, I wrapped my arms around her waist and pointed a finger out into the dip of the valley. “Just look.”
“For what, Jay? I don't—”
Blink
Blink
Blink blink blink
One after another, the little green lightening bugs began to glow. Hundreds, maybe thousands of fireflies were all blinking at the same time. It was a natural phenomenon, something that only happened in a few places in the world, and our backyard was one of them.
“See, what did I tell you?”
“Oh wow, this is amazing.” Blue looked around as the mass of glow-bugs exploded all around us. Holding out her hands, she closed them together in the air, bringing them to her face and peeking inside. “I have at least ten just here. How? Why? How did you find this?”
Resting my face against hers, I said, “A man doesn't tell his secrets, he only shares them with the person he loves.”
Turning around to look at me over her shoulder, she eyed me curiously. “What did you just say?”
“I said a man—”
“No, no, I heard that part, what did you say after that?”
“That I'll only share my secrets with the person I love?” Spinning Blue around, I pulled her into my chest and held her firmly in my arms. “I love you, Blue bird, I've loved you for years.”
“I never thought I'd hear you say those words.”
“Why not?”
“Because I thought love was something you didn't believe in.”
“I didn't, and then I met you.” Pausing, I thinned my lips, waiting for her to say it back. “But if you don't say it back—”
Blue reached up, running her hand across my jaw, stopping me from saying another word. “Of course I love you, Jayden, you shouldn't even have to ask me that.”
“I'm not asking if you love me, I know you love me, I just needed to hear it.”
Blue's expression became stern as she frowned. “I need you to know something.”
“What? What is it?” I asked, suddenly concerned that I had done something wrong.
Letting out a delicate sigh, she looked me straight in the eyes. “This doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with you. I still have beliefs, you know that, right?”
“I know, I'm not asking you to sleep with me.”
“Okay, good, because I'm not ready for that.” Snuggling up closer, she laid her head on my shoulder. “I told you I'd make you love me. I win.”
Smiling to myself, I rested my cheek against her hair, and wrapped my arm around her lower back. “Yes you did.”
We watched the fireflies for about an hour, until the green bursts faded and there was nothing left. Blue had fallen asleep in my arms as we sat on the hill, and I couldn't bring myself to move her.
I should have woken her up. I should have brought her right back home and helped her sneak into her room. But I couldn't let her go, I couldn't stop staring at her as she slept.
She looked too perfect.
I knew that if she got caught coming in at dawn, coming home well after her parents had thought she had gone to bed, Blue would be grounded for months.
But right then I didn't care. I didn't care because in that moment I was truly happy.
Selfishness was a toxin, it was a drug that consumed me.
And Blue had become mine, I wasn't ever letting her go.
Chapter Six
Jayden
“I'm screwed, I'm so screwed.” Digging her hands into her
knees, she spied through the stalks. “My parents are going to kill me.”
“Your father is a pastor, he's not going to kill you.”
“You know what I mean,” she snapped, keeping her eyes on her house. “I'm never going to see the light of day again. I'll never see you again. . .” Her voice trailed off as a wave of sadness washed over her face.
“Maybe it won't be that bad.”
Blue cocked her head over her shoulder, giving me a death stare. “I snuck out of the house, I was gone all night, and worst of all, I was with a boy.”
“A Henry boy of all people too.” Chuckling, I started to smile, but quickly drew it back in when I realized she wasn't smiling with me.
“I'm glad you find this funny. Do you want him to lock me inside forever?” She wasn't looking for an answer to her question, so I kept my mouth shut. “I'm going to be grounded for a year, I know it.”
“Maybe if you sneak in while they're not paying attention, you can pretend you've been home the whole time.”
“Are you serious? That's not going to work. I'm just going to have to face him, that's it.”
Raking my hand back and forth over my head, I quietly spoke under my breath. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let you sleep, I should have taken you back home.”
Blue looked at me from over her shoulder, scrunching her brows as she reached back and touched my cheek. “If I wanted to go home, I wouldn't have fallen asleep to begin with. This was my choice, not your mistake.”
Blue stood up straight, squaring her shoulders and elongating her neck. Taking a step forward, I grabbed her wrist, trying to hold her back. “Wait, don't, I'm sure we can think of something.”
“Jay, there's nothing we can do. Let me go, I'll take my punishment and be done with it.”
“Let me go with you, I'll talk to your father, I'll explain that this is my fault, that it was my idea and I convinced you to come along.” Squeezing her hand, I pleaded with her. “We didn't do anything wrong, we spent the night watching bugs.”
“He's not going to believe that.”
“Why not? We'd be telling the truth.”
The corner of her lip curled as her thumb ran over my knuckles. “Would you believe your daughter?” Arching a brow, she slipped her hand free from mine. “Don't come after me, it'll only make it worse.”