“You said I could choose to go after I heard you out. Did you mean it?”
He didn’t want to agree. That was plain on his face and in the tense way he held himself. He nodded anyway. “Yes. You’re making a mistake, but we won’t force you.”
I stood and walked across the room to the portrait of the blond woman. “I don’t know you, Seamus. My grandfather is trying to kill me. The Morrisseys have my father. The only people who have stood by me are the Blackwells.” I glanced over at Seamus with raised brows. “Call me crazy, but I’d rather stick with the people who’ve had my back since this began.”
Seamus rose and joined me in front of the painting. He touched a finger to the charm that hung at the woman’s neck, a golden phoenix with ruby eyes. The action was tender, as if he’d known her. I inhaled, realizing this woman had been like me—a Phoenix.
“Who was she?” I breathed.
“My wife,” he said.
There was a finality to his tone that defied more questions. He dropped his hand and turned to face me, the tender expression gone as he propped one shoulder against the wall. “Tell me how I can earn your trust.”
My mind ran through possibilities, calculating how this man could be used to help me. Others had been using me for ages. Why shouldn’t I work their desires against them?
I leaned forward at the waist. “Find my father. You help me get him back, and then we’ll talk.”
Seamus shook his head. “You couldn’t ask for something easy like stealing the Crown Jewels, could you?” He waved when I opened my mouth to snap at him. “No. You’ve got yourself a deal. Come on. I’ll have Sean and the boys return you to your friends.”
I followed him to the door. “I think Sean and I can manage without the boys.”
He understood my meaning in an instant. I didn’t want to go anywhere with a crowd of Protectors who could turn on me. “You really don’t trust anyone, do you?”
I didn’t answer. Let him believe what he wanted. We went downstairs, and he instructed Sean to take me back to the Blackwells. He took a phone from one of his men and handed it to me. “We’ll call when we find him.” Just before I walked out the front door he called to me, “You know we would have gone after your father anyway. He’s an O’Malley, and we look out for our kin.”
“Prove it,” I challenged, and then I closed the door behind me.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Sean wasn’t much of a conversationalist, and I was okay with that. At Seamus’s, the big man had opened the back door of the Mercedes for me, and I couldn’t decide if he was acting as a chauffeur or if he didn’t want me in the front seat within reaching distance. I wanted to be relieved that Seamus had let me go, but until I reached my friends, I wouldn’t relax. Instead, my mind spun with everything I’d learned.
I wasn’t a half breed like Alcais’s book called me, a term that reduced me to an animal with a poor pedigree. I was a Phoenix: a creature that rose from its own ashes. The name felt truer than anything I’d learned. My life had mostly been ashes, and I’d been trying so hard to raise myself up out of the grime, to be more than people expected. The Phoenix was also a fiery thing, and I wondered if the name hadn’t been christened in part because of the red sparks that went hand in hand with our unique ability to inflict our pain on others.
Two hours ago, I’d thought my life over. I’d thought the Protectors had me with no possibility of escape, but I hadn’t given up. I hadn’t cowered or waited to be rescued or thought I deserved what had happened to me. I’d changed this last year. You didn’t hide in a hole when you had something worth fighting for, and I had more than a lot of people.
Sean stopped the car, and I realized we’d arrived at the Blackwells’ home. “Are you sure we weren’t followed?” I asked.
He looked insulted and grunted like that was an answer.
“It was super meeting you, Sean,” I exaggerated. “Bye, now.”
I reached for the handle, but the door didn’t open. Hiding the start of fear that made my palms damp, I met Sean’s eyes in the rearview mirror.
“We’ll be near,” he said in his gruff voice. “Don’t be stupid, girl.”
The locks disengaged, and I opened the door, grasping that I’d been given the guard’s version of a reassurance/ warning. In other circumstances, I might have reacted with sarcasm, but now, giddy relief flooded through me. Seamus had been true to his word so far. I was home.
I launched toward the front door. It opened before I touched the handle, and I was yanked off my feet by Asher, swarmed by my friends as multiple arms tried to hug me at once. Behind me, I heard Sean’s car pulling away, but I guessed he wouldn’t be going far. I had Protectors now. Lottie, Gabe, and Asher stared at me with worry and relief, and I thought, More Protectors, then.
“Are you okay?” Gabe asked, his voice rough. A muscle in his jaw jumped and he remained on the staircase, his hand clenching the banister. “We’ve been going insane trying to figure out who took you. Lottie and I were leaving for Spencer and Miranda’s to see what they might know.”
Aside from Lucy, Gabe was the only one who hadn’t embraced me, and I tried not to be hurt.
“It’s a long story,” I said. “But I’m okay.”
Lottie patted me on the back with an awkward thump. “I’m glad you’re not dead,” she said.
Erin raised a hand and bit her lip. “Shouldn’t we be packing up and running if those guys know where we live?”
I’d thought about that on the way here. Seamus could be gathering his people to attack, but my gut said he wouldn’t. He wanted something from me, and he needed my cooperation. Attacking my friends ensured I would never cooperate, and he knew that now. It would be a leap of faith to trust him, but it was one that I would take. The others had to make their own choices, though. I wouldn’t decide for them.
We headed to the dining room as I explained everything that had happened since I’d been taken. Someone placed a plate of food in front of me. Lucy leaned over me, wearing an expression I recognized. It was the same one I saw in the mirror when my heart ached and I tried to hide it behind stoicism. I touched her hand, and she squeezed my fingers before pulling away. I sighed and let her go.
Between bites, I finished telling them what Seamus had shared, leaving out the part where I attacked him with a fork. It didn’t take long for everyone to explode in reaction.
“I can’t believe they killed all of those people,” Erin said, her voice heavy with sadness.
“They’re going to find Dad?” Lucy breathed.
“A Phoenix. Fitting,” Asher said.
We shared a smile. I’d thought the same thing. A movement caught my eye when Gabe shifted, staring at the table when a moment before he’d watched me.
I focused on the whole group. “What do you want to do? We can run, though I don’t know what good it will do. They’ve tracked us this far.”
“Do you believe he’s going to search for Ben?” Gabe asked, his gaze locked on something over my right shoulder.
I nodded, swallowing my hurt. For some reason, he couldn’t even look at me. “I do. I’m not sure his motives are as altruistic as he’d have me believe, but I think Seamus wants something from me and he’s willing to find my father to get it.”
“Then we stay,” Gabe said in an even voice.
His quick support surprised me, but I was glad to have it.
“I vote for staying,” Erin said. “The whole point of coming here was to find your father. If this is the best way to do it, then we give Seamus some room to help us.”
“I agree,” Lottie said, with a shrug. “To be honest, we’ve hit a dead end. We couldn’t have dug much deeper without making everyone suspicious. In fact, I think they already are. I was worried about returning to Spencer and Miranda.”
That didn’t sound good. Spencer and Miranda had been like family to the Blackwells, helping them to get out of Italy when their parents were killed and the war began. To hear that Lottie didn’t feel safe w
ith them sent a wave of unease through me that grew when Gabe frowned. They had been worried, but they would have returned. For me and for Lucy. My eyes burned. A year ago, I couldn’t have imagined anyone risking their lives for mine. I loved these people.
Gabe’s eyes flickered with momentary heat as if he’d heard that thought, but the spark disappeared.
“You all know where I stand,” Lucy added.
“So we wait for Seamus,” Asher said, and a round of agreeable murmurs sounded around the table.
After that, the group kicked around ideas of stepping up our vigilance in case Seamus proved an enemy. Gabe used this as an excuse to slip away, saying he wanted to do a quick patrol of the neighborhood to be sure the O’Malleys were the only ones watching us and that they weren’t surrounding us. He left the room without once meeting my eyes or looking in Asher’s direction, and I wondered what had been said in my absence. Had they fought?
Eventually, the long day caught up with everyone. Erin was the first to say good night, with Lucy and Lottie minutes behind her. They disappeared one at a time until Asher and I were left alone. He avoided my gaze with the same old guilt, and I guessed he was upset that I’d been taken on his watch. He hadn’t been able to stop them, exactly as he’d feared. I was sorry that happened, mostly because we’d finally reached an understanding in those moments before Seamus’s men showed up.
I toyed with the edge of my napkin. “How’s your head?” I asked.
He touched his forehead with a scowl. They must have hit him pretty hard, though no mark remained. “Fine now. Erin healed me when they found me on the sidewalk.”
I smiled with a trace of meanness. “If it makes you feel any better, I showed Seamus exactly what I thought of him hurting you.”
Asher asked suspiciously, “What did you do?”
“Let’s just say that Seamus and his men are a little nervous around me and silverware.”
My statement confused him, but he laughed. “You always surprise me. Whenever I think I know you, you do something that convinces me that I don’t know a damned thing. I think I’m going to head off to bed.” He rose and pushed in his chair, while I cleared the table.
“Remy?”
I glanced up to find Asher staring at me with a pained expression. He gripped the back of his chair tight enough that his knuckles drained of color.
“You should know . . .” His jaw worked like he struggled to get the words out. “I saw Gabe’s face when he realized they’d taken you. I’ve never seen him so . . .” He cut off, breathing hard. “Not since Sam and our parents died.” Asher pinned me with a furious glare when I tried to speak, and I snapped my mouth shut. I subsided, and he cleared his throat. “My brother is the best man I know. The only person worthy of you. I love you, and it’s going to kill me to see you together, but I’m not going to stand between you. If he’s what you want, you should be with him. Be happy, mo cridhe. You deserve it.”
With that, Asher turned on his heel and left the room.
I don’t know how long I sat there alone and crying before I dragged myself to my bedroom. I couldn’t decipher the myriad emotions battering my heart. Asher was my first love, and I grieved for us and what we might have been. Our friendship had to change, and that made me sad. I worried about how things would be between Asher and Gabe. I was sorry to cause Asher pain when I still loved him, even if that love had changed. And overlaying all of that, I hoped that this thing between Gabe and me could be something real and worth all the pain we were causing his brother. Maybe Gabe wondered the same thing, and that was why he’d avoided me tonight. What I knew was that I wanted to move forward, to give us a try. Life was short, and I didn’t want to wait anymore.
I showered and readied for bed in a daze, worn out from everything that had happened. I thought I might not be able to fall asleep, but I was exhausted. Just before I drifted off it occurred to me that something seemed odd about my darkened room, but I was too tired to investigate.
The opening and closing of my bedroom door woke me. The footsteps sounded light and hesitant as bare feet tiptoed across the floor. I heard familiar breathing, and knew it was Lucy. There was no moonlight to light her way tonight, and she cursed in a whisper when she stubbed her toe on the nightstand. I watched her approach, her features clear as she blindly made her way to me. And I remembered what had bothered me as I was falling asleep.
I can see in the dark.
I bolted straight up, scaring a scream out of my sister as she knelt on the bed beside me.
“Sh!” I whispered. “It’s just me.”
“You scared me!” she said.
“I noticed,” I told her. “My ears are still ringing. You scream like a girl, Lucy.”
She shoved my leg. “Shut up.” She didn’t try to hide how nervous she felt, but then, she didn’t realize I could see her. “Can I talk to you?” she asked.
I nodded to test her. Maybe the room was brighter than I thought. Except she didn’t seem to notice my gesture. Out loud, I said, “Of course,” and her expression flooded with relief. She couldn’t see me, but I could see her. This had to be because of what I’d done to Seamus. Hadn’t I been moving more quickly than usual when racing down the hall, too? I’d almost crashed when I underestimated my speed. Was I becoming more of a Protector? I hadn’t healed anyone in a while. What if those powers were drying up? I didn’t even know if such a thing was possible.
“I’m sorry,” Lucy said, and my attention swung back to her.
“What?” I asked in confusion, torn from my thoughts.
She began crying, sniffling. “When they took you today, I thought I might not see you again. I was so scared and I’ve been a jerk, blaming you for everything. Do you hate me?”
As if. I’d missed talking to her.
“Oh Lucy.” I tugged my sister into my arms. “I love you, sis. I could never hate you.” She cried harder into my shoulder, and I added, “Be frustrated with you, yes. Want to pull your hair? Most definitely. But I don’t hate you.”
She choked. “You should. I was so awful to you. What I said when Mom died . . . You almost died, and I was cruel. I didn’t mean it. Any of it.”
Her body shook in my arms, and I hugged her tighter. “You were hurting. We both were. I’m sorry that you ever got involved in this. All I wanted was to keep you safe.”
“It doesn’t matter. Like Seamus said, they would have found us anyway.”
They would have. It had only been a matter of time. I could have stayed away, and they still would have come. After a time, Lucy quieted in my arms, and I reached for my purse that sat on the nightstand to give her a tissue. She sniffed and blew her nose, the small sound marking her vulnerability.
“Want to have a sleepover?” I asked.
“Can I?” she asked shyly.
In answer, I slid over in the bed and lifted the covers for her. It reminded me of all the times she’d sneaked into my room at home after she’d had a nightmare. She settled beside me and reached for my hand. Love for my sister stole my breath. I’d missed her so much. We lay there for some time, each of us lost in our thoughts.
“Do you ever wonder why I don’t have powers?” Lucy asked. “I mean, I’m an O’Malley and Dad is a Protector and you’re you. Why did it skip me?”
I had asked myself the same question. “I don’t know. I guess when I wondered I was always glad that you didn’t have powers. I thought you would be safer if you were normal. In fact, I was jealous of you.”
“Of how normal I am? Gee, thanks,” Lucy said with a laugh.
“I mean it. All I’ve wanted was to be normal. I didn’t ask for any of this. But I’ve decided something. I’m not going to hide from it anymore. I’m tired of running, and it doesn’t do any good. Can I tell you something I didn’t tell the others?”
I flopped on my back and described how enraged I’d been when Seamus threatened to keep me a prisoner.
“What an ass! What did you do?”
“I stabbed his ha
nd with a fork and then I attacked him with his knife.” I could feel my sister’s shock, even though I stared at the ceiling. “His men are kind of afraid of me, and it felt good to stand up for myself. Seamus knows that he can’t push me around like that again.”
“You’ve changed,” Lucy said quietly.
“Yeah. I think I have. For the better, I hope.”
“Be careful. I’m not saying don’t use your powers, but you’re all the family I have,” she said in a broken voice. “Please don’t let anything happen to you.”
My sister was losing faith. I could hear it in her voice. “Hey! We’re going to get Dad back,” I said.
She squeezed my fingers, but I wasn’t sure I’d convinced her. So much time had passed and it was difficult to hold on to hope. We hadn’t seen our father in almost six months. I closed my eyes to imagine his face, his blue eyes and black hair. My father could be gentle and stern. He’d turned to mush when I’d stopped calling him Ben and started calling him Dad. He adored fast cars and fast boats and his town. And he loved Lucy and me. Tears filled my eyes, but I didn’t want to cry. I wanted a happy memory to hang on to.
“Lucy, did I ever tell you about my first driving lesson with Dad?”
We rolled over to face each other in the dark, and I told her about how I’d jumped a curb and nearly taken out a tree. She giggled so hard she snorted.
“He acted like he was calm, but you should have seen how hard his foot was reaching for the brakes.”
I kicked the covers like I was trying to stop a car, and we both lost it. It felt so good to laugh that I told another funny story, this time about Laura. Then Lucy told one. For hours, we talked about our parents and we laughed uproariously, trying to outdo each other. We didn’t fall asleep until the sun had begun to come up, lighting the room in soft pinks and yellows. For once, we both wore smiles as we drifted into dreams.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
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